Are you single?
Over 30, perhaps?
Then in all possibility, you’re used to hearing remarks and comments about your single status.
I’m happy with my life, really, I am!
But somehow, people around me seem to be more bothered about my lonely vajajay than I am.
[Read: Confessions of a 30 year old virgin]
Life as a single woman in her 30s
Just the other day, I was at my parents’ house for Sunday brunch.
It was a lovely afternoon, clear skies, pleasant weather, the champagne was icy and the tapas divine.
And that’s when it started.
Just when I thought the time had passed, subtle hints, point blank questions and even blatant pleas for grandchildren.
You’d think that they were all born with a wedding ring on their finger.
I’m on the verge of wearing a fake ring and having an imaginary boyfriend just to stop the questions.
Being single is one of the most enjoyable times in your life.
No explaining to do, no reasons to give a significant other as to why you went for lunch with your hot colleague.
I get that there are added bonuses to having a significant other but that’s just it, bonuses! [Read: Is it better to be single or in love?]
12 lines singles have to hear and bear all the time
For the record, most of us are single out of choice and not out of lack of opportunity. We like being single and we wouldn’t want it any other way. And no, we don’t want to live in the magical wonderland of love that you inhabit.
Somehow having to see dirty boys’ clothes lying around our room do not make us cry with happiness.
If you’re a single woman who enjoys her liberty and singledom, why do you have to endure all those sympathetic glances and comments from your parents, friends and women on the street who all think babies and love is the only reason to be born on this planet?
The next time someone asks you any of those annoying questions about your biological clock or the lack of arm candy by your side, just fire away with these answers!
#1 You need to do something about it.
Yes, maybe I should join Singles Anonymous so we can all lend each other a helping hand with getting through this trying time. “Hi, my name is X and I am single. And apparently pathetic…”
#2 It’ll happen to you, just you wait and see.
So will you hold yourself responsible if it doesn’t? Maybe I will fall in love, maybe I won’t, but I don’t need anyone’s guarantee or prophesy for it.
#3 It will happen when you’re not looking.
Is there some logical proof of that, because I’d like to see it. I mean, then how do we explain infatuation, love at first sight or first dates?
#4 Are you a… lesbian?
I have nothing against homosexuals. All for gay and lesbian rights as well but no, just because I don’t have a boyfriend doesn’t mean I’m into girls.
#5 Have you met someone?
If I have, then you would know. I would proclaim it from the rooftops if only to shut you up. [Read: How to get to know someone on a date]
#6 You need to occupy yourself, volunteer at the animal center.
I have enough to do to entertain myself without your help, thank you. And don’t think I haven’t missed your veiled intentions of getting me to meet some soft hearted hunk while cleaning dog poop.
#7 I miss being single, it’s so easy. Enjoy it!
Like duh, I know it is fun, which is why I am single. But you don’t need to be so condescending while saying so. Being single is a way of life, like being Buddhist! Contrary to what you believe, it is not the first step in the great way of life. So live and let live. Peace. [Confession: I want to be single again!]
#8 Meet Dave, he’s single too!
You say it like it’s a disease and we can form a support group and trade experiences about being single. It’s like when we were kids, when parents thought they could just dump a bunch of kids in one room and they’d magically get along and play. Reality check, that doesn’t happen, not with children, not with single adults.
#9 Tick tock, tick tock!
That’s not my body clock ticking. It’s my tolerance.
#10 Look at Mary, she’s married and so happy, don’t you want that?
Yes, maybe eventually, if it happens. Just not now and I will let you know when it does. Scout’s honor! [Read: How to love again after being hurt]
#11 You’re so pretty, why are you single?
Wow, was that a backhand compliment? Well done, almost as good as Simon Cowell! If I get to know the answer then I would tell you, right now I’m a little bitter, excuse me.
#12 I’m ready for grandkids.
Obviously, these only come from well meaning grandparents. So you don’t need to jump at their throat. Explain to them gently that you’re not ready yet and if that doesn’t work, adopt a puppy and call it your baby. The comments will stop.
[Read: What is the right age to get married?]
It isn’t easy being a single girl in a couples’ world. But as long as you know what to say to shut them up, you can still hold on to your sanity and your dignity!
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