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How to Trust Yourself: 35 Psychology Secrets, Steps & Whys of Self-Trust

Do you need to learn how to trust yourself? It should be simple, right? But here’s the kicker – actually doing it is where the real challenge lies.

how to trust yourself

In this modern whirlwind we call life, where doubts and second-guessing are more common than we’d like to admit, learning how to trust yourself becomes not just a skill but a necessity.

Trusting yourself is more than just about making decisions without hesitation, it’s about recognizing your inner voice and giving it the microphone in a crowded room of opinions.

It’s about understanding that deep down, you have a wealth of knowledge and instincts that are worth listening to. Sure, it’s not about always being right – nobody is – but it’s about giving yourself the credit to try, fail, and then stand back up with a bit more wisdom. [Read: Fear of failure and why you shouldn’t be afraid to fail]

The Psychology of Self-Trust

Let’s trace this back, shall we? Understanding how to trust yourself isn’t just about pep talks in front of the mirror. [Read: How to respect yourself – 37 secrets of self-respect, self-belief, and self-love]

It’s rooted deep in psychology, and it starts with a concept known as self-efficacy. This is psychologist-speak for believing in your ability to influence events and outcomes in your life.

Now, self-trust and mental health are like two peas in a pod. When you trust yourself, you’re essentially sending a message to your brain saying, “I’ve got this.” This doesn’t just boost your mood; it lays the groundwork for resilience.

You become better equipped to handle stress, setbacks, and the curveballs life throws at you. [Read: Life secrets to smile more often, feel great, and laugh your stress away]

On the flip side, if self-trust is on the lower end, it’s like walking on a tightrope without a safety net – everything feels more daunting, and your mental health can take a hit.

But where does this all start? Often, it begins in the echoes of our childhood. The experiences we have and the messages we receive while growing up play a massive role in shaping our self-trust.

If you were encouraged to try new things, make mistakes, and were supported through them, you probably have a head start in the self-trust department. [Read: 55 Secrets and self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

But if you faced constant criticism or were overly sheltered, you might find that trusting yourself is like trying to tune into a radio station with a lot of static. It’s there, but it’s hard to hear clearly.

The Roots of All Self-Doubt

Self-doubt doesn’t just appear out of thin air. It has its roots, and some dig pretty deep. Let’s break down five common sources that feed this unwelcome plant in our mental gardens.

1. Past Failures and Rejections

It’s like every time you’ve stumbled, your brain keeps a record, ready to remind you at your next starting line. We’re not just talking about big failures here. [Read: 36 Healthy ways to handle rejection and respond positively even if it hurts]

Even small rejections can accumulate, turning into a persistent whisper of doubt whenever you’re about to try again. It’s natural to feel cautious after a fall, but when caution turns into paralyzing fear, that’s when self-doubt has taken the driver’s seat.

2. Negative Feedback and Criticism

We’ve all been there – a harsh word here, a critical remark there. When these pile up, they can start to color the way we view ourselves. It’s especially potent when the feedback is from people we respect or care about.

The trick is separating constructive criticism from plain negativity, but that’s easier said than done. Over time, this barrage of negativity can erode our self-confidence, leading to a constant feeling of not being good enough. [Read: Lessons to deal with judgmental people]

3. Social Comparisons and Societal Pressures

Ah, the joy of comparing ourselves to others. Thanks to social media and societal standards, we’re constantly measuring our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reels.

This relentless comparison can make our achievements feel smaller and our failures loom larger. It’s a fast track to doubting our own worth and capabilities, feeding into a cycle of constantly feeling like we’re falling short.

4. Childhood Experiences

Our childhood is like the soil where the seeds of self-doubt can be planted. [Read: 47 Hurtful signs and effects of being the daughter of a narcissistic mother]

If you grew up in an environment where mistakes weren’t tolerated, or where you were frequently criticized, that sets the stage for doubting yourself later in life.

It’s tough because these early experiences shape our fundamental beliefs about ourselves, and shaking them off is not a walk in the park.

5. Cognitive Distortions

Ever heard of making a mountain out of a molehill? That’s your brain on cognitive distortions. [Read: 38 Secrets to stop overthinking, what it looks like, signs, and fastest fixes]

It’s when your thinking gets twisted, like assuming the worst, overgeneralizing from one bad experience, or constantly jumping to negative conclusions.

These mental habits are like fuel for self-doubt, turning small setbacks into evidence that you’re just not cut out for success.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Self-Trust

We’re going to let you in on a little secret: completely eradicating self-doubt is like trying to catch a cloud – pretty much impossible. But there are ways to build a solid foundation of self-trust that makes those doubts just background noise.

Here’s a 20-step roadmap on how to trust yourself, each step helping you build that trust brick by brick.

1. Acknowledge and Accept Your Strengths and Weaknesses

It’s all about knowing what you’re good at and where you could use some improvement. Everyone has this mix, and it’s crucial for self-awareness. [Read: 25 Honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

When you understand your own capabilities, trusting yourself becomes a lot easier. It’s a journey of self-discovery where you become your own ally, not your critic.

2. Set Realistic Goals

When you aim for achievable targets, you’re setting yourself up for success. Each time you hit one of these targets, it’s a vote of confidence in your abilities.

It’s about creating a positive cycle of setting and achieving goals, which steadily builds your trust in yourself. Think of each goal as a stepping stone, leading you towards greater self-assuredness. [Read: 57 Simple life questions to get to know yourself and truths to visualize your future]

3. Celebrate Small Achievements

Every little success counts and deserves recognition. It’s not about throwing a party for every minor victory, but rather acknowledging your progress.

These celebrations reinforce the belief in your abilities. It’s a way of telling yourself, “I did it once, I can do it again.”

4. Develop a Positive Self-Dialogue

The way you talk to yourself matters. Swap out the self-criticism with encouragement and watch how your self-trust grows. It’s like having an internal cheerleader who’s always rooting for you. [Read: Positive self-talk – what it is, where it comes from, and how to master it]

Positive self-dialogue can transform doubt into confidence over time.

5. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Being present in the moment helps in reducing self-doubt. When you’re mindful, you’re not ruminating over past mistakes or fretting about the future.

Add a dash of self-compassion into the mix, and you’re on your way to treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a good friend. [Read: Love yourself first – where people go wrong, 36 whys, and how to do this right]

6. Seek Supportive Relationships and Mentorship

Surround yourself with people who believe in you. When you’re around those who lift you up, it’s easier to see your own value. A mentor can offer guidance, helping you navigate through challenges while bolstering your self-trust.

7. Learn from Failures Without Self-Judgment

Failure is a part of life and a critical component of learning how to trust yourself. Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes, look at them as learning opportunities. Analyze what went wrong, adjust your approach, and move forward with new insight.

8. Trust Your Gut

Your intuition is a powerful tool. Often, your first instinct is the right one, so learn to listen to it. [Read: Gut instinct – what it is, how it works, and 30 tips to follow and listen to your instincts]

Trusting your gut is like having an internal compass that guides you, especially in complex situations where logic alone doesn’t suffice.

9. Keep a Journal

Writing down your thoughts and experiences can provide clarity. It’s a way of processing your emotions and understanding your thought patterns.

As you journal, you’ll often find that you’re more capable and knowledgeable than you give yourself credit for.

10. Challenge Yourself Regularly

Stepping outside your comfort zone is essential for growth. [Read: 28 Self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]

Each challenge you overcome is an affirmation of your abilities. It’s a powerful way to prove to yourself that you can handle more than you think.

11. Avoid Overthinking

When you overthink, you create problems that weren’t there in the first place. Learn to make decisions confidently and trust in your ability to handle the outcomes.

Overthinking is the arch-nemesis of self-trust. Conquer it, and you’re halfway there.

12. Practice Decision-Making

Start with small decisions to build your confidence. Each decision you make, and stand by, strengthens your trust in your judgment. [Read: Why am I so indecisive? 25 whys and ways to be an instant decision maker]

It’s about building a track record of choices that, more often than not, lead to positive outcomes.

13. Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of your physical and mental health is foundational. When you’re in a good place physically and mentally, trusting yourself becomes much easier. It’s hard to trust yourself when you’re running on empty, so make sure you’re well-fueled.

14. Break Big Tasks into Smaller Steps

Large tasks can be overwhelming. By breaking them down, you make them more manageable and less intimidating. [Read: Is it normal to talk to yourself? Self-talk, 27 benefits, types, and must-know tips]

This approach allows you to build confidence as you complete each smaller segment, reinforcing your trust in your abilities.

15. Remember That Trust Is a Journey

Recognize that building self-trust is a gradual process, much like learning a new language or mastering an instrument. It’s about accumulating small acts of self-belief and learning from experiences.

With each step, whether forward or backward, you gain insight and strength. The key is consistency and the understanding that self-trust grows over time, nurtured by your experiences and reflections. [Read: I have trust issues – 18 baby steps to start dating and open your heart to love]

Embrace each part of this journey, understanding that even the setbacks are opportunities to fortify your trust in yourself.

16. Reflect on Your Past Successes

Regularly take a trip down memory lane and remind yourself of the challenges you’ve overcome and the goals you’ve achieved. These aren’t just trophies on your shelf; they’re concrete evidence of your abilities and resilience.

By acknowledging your past successes, you reinforce the belief in your capacity to handle future challenges. [Read: 45 Secrets to be more positive and fill your mind with positive emotions 24/7]

It’s a powerful reminder that you’ve been capable all along, and with each success, your ability to trust yourself intensifies.

17. Find a Balance Between Listening to Others and Trusting Yourself

While it’s valuable to consider advice and perspectives from others, it’s equally important to have confidence in your own judgment. Striking this balance involves actively listening to others but also weighing their input against your own intuition and knowledge.

Recognize that while others may offer valuable guidance, you are the ultimate decision-maker in your life. [Read: Super empath – what it means, 40 signs, causes, and must-knows to read one]

Trusting yourself means having the confidence to take external advice on board while ultimately relying on your own insights and feelings.

18. Regularly Evaluate Your Progress

Set aside time to reflect on your personal growth and how far you’ve come in your journey of self-trust. By assessing your progress, you can identify areas where you’ve improved and areas that still need work.

Regular check-in keeps you aligned with your goals and bolsters your ability to trust yourself, as you can see tangible evidence of your development. [Read: Sense of self – what it is, 36 signs, tips, and steps to raise it and feel great]

19. Stay True to Your Values

Aligning your actions with your core values plays a pivotal role in developing self-trust. When you act in ways that resonate with your deepest beliefs, you reinforce your trust in your decision-making process.

It’s about understanding what truly matters to you and ensuring your actions reflect these values. This congruence between values and actions serves as a powerful foundation for trusting yourself, as it creates a sense of integrity and authenticity in your choices.

20. Being Patient with Yourself

Just like cultivating a garden, building self-trust requires time, patience, and regular attention. [Read: 36 Secrets to spot difficult people and deal with them in a calm, cool way]

It’s important to be compassionate with yourself and recognize that developing trust in yourself isn’t an overnight endeavor.

Celebrate the small victories along the way and be forgiving of your missteps. Patience is a virtue in this journey, and it’s important to remind yourself that every effort you make contributes to a stronger, more trusting relationship with yourself.

The Importance of Trusting Yourself

Now, let’s talk about the why. Understanding the importance of trusting yourself can be a game-changer in various aspects of your life.

Here’s a breakdown of why building self-trust is a journey worth embarking on.

1. Benefits in Personal Growth and Resilience

When you trust yourself, you’re essentially laying a foundation for personal growth. You become more open to new experiences and challenges, knowing that you have the inner resources to cope. [Read: 24 Ways to be a strong independent woman all men love and desire]

It’s about being your own anchor in turbulent times, which remarkably bolsters your resilience. With self-trust, you’re more adaptable to change, and you bounce back from setbacks more quickly.

It’s a quality that transforms not just how you view challenges, but also how you approach life in general. Self-trust empowers you to push your boundaries and grow beyond your comfort zones.

2. Enhanced Decision-Making and Problem-Solving Abilities

Trusting in your own judgment leads to more decisive and effective decision-making. When you’re not second-guessing every choice, you can navigate through life’s decisions more swiftly and confidently. [Read: Stop feeling sorry for yourself – 35 steps to end the self-pity and be your own hero]

This clarity in decision-making is crucial, especially in high-pressure situations where indecision can cost you dearly. Moreover, trusting yourself enhances your problem-solving skills.

You begin to view problems as opportunities to apply your judgment and creativity, rather than obstacles that leave you paralyzed. In essence, self-trust equips you with a compass to navigate the complex maze of life’s choices.

3. Improved Relationships and Communication Skills

Trusting yourself can significantly improve how you interact with others. When you’re confident in your own skin, it shows, and people often respond positively to this self-assuredness. [Read: Ways to be a much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]

It’s easier to communicate your needs, boundaries, and opinions clearly when you trust your own judgment. Additionally, self-trust prevents you from constantly seeking validation from others, allowing for healthier, more balanced relationships.

You become a better listener, as you’re secure enough to consider other viewpoints without feeling threatened. Ultimately, self-trust fosters a level of authenticity in your interactions that can deepen connections and build more meaningful relationships.

4. Increased Motivation and Pursuit of Goals

Trusting yourself acts as a catalyst for motivation and goal achievement. When you believe in your capabilities, you’re more inclined to set ambitious goals and pursue them with vigor. [Read: 36 secrets to motivate yourself to achieve anything your heart desires]

It’s about having the confidence to take risks and chase after what you truly want, rather than playing it safe due to doubt and fear. This self-assured approach keeps you motivated, even in the face of challenges or when progress seems slow.

You’re less likely to give up when you trust in your ability to eventually succeed. In essence, self-trust not only sets the stage for dreaming big but also for the relentless pursuit of those dreams.

5. Fostering Independence and Self-Sufficiency

When you trust your abilities and judgment, you naturally become more independent and self-sufficient.

You’re less likely to rely on others to make decisions for you or to bail you out of difficult situations. [Read: How to be emotionally independent and stop using others for happiness]

This independence is empowering; it’s about knowing that you have the capability to handle life on your own terms. It also breeds a sense of responsibility, as you’re more accountable for your actions and their outcomes.

Being self-sufficient doesn’t mean you never need help; it simply means you have the confidence to know when to ask for it and when to rely on your own resources.

6. Enhancing Creativity and Innovation

Trusting yourself can unlock a higher level of creativity and innovation. [Read: Overcoming self-doubt – 26 signs and best ways to stop doubting yourself]

When you’re not bogged down by self-doubt, your mind is free to explore and generate novel ideas. You’re more likely to take creative risks and experiment, which is the bedrock of innovation.

This creative freedom stems from a belief in your ability to come up with solutions and express yourself in unique ways. In the professional world, this can lead to breakthroughs and advancements, making you a valuable asset in any team or project.

7. Building Credibility and Leadership Skills

Self-trust also enhances your credibility and leadership abilities. [Read: Tried and tested ways to become a better leader at work]

People are naturally drawn to those who exude confidence and trust in themselves. As a leader, if you trust your decisions and abilities, your team is more likely to follow suit.

This trust fosters respect and can inspire others to believe in themselves too. Effective leadership isn’t just about guiding others; it’s about setting an example of self-assurance and reliability.

8. Promoting Mental and Emotional Well-Being

A high level of self-trust contributes significantly to your mental and emotional health. When you trust yourself, you’re less prone to anxiety and stress that come from self-doubt and indecision. [Read: Signs of anxiety – how to read the signs ASAP and handle them better]

You’re better equipped to cope with life’s ups and downs, maintaining a more stable and positive outlook. This emotional resilience is crucial for overall well-being and can even impact your physical health positively.

9. Navigating Life Transitions More Smoothly

Life is full of transitions, be it changing careers, moving to a new place, or starting a new relationship. Trusting yourself makes these transitions less daunting.

You have confidence in your ability to adapt and face new challenges. [Read: What is the point of life? The theories, paradoxes, and secrets to find meaning]

This trust provides a sense of security, even in the face of uncertainty, making it easier to embrace change and grow from these experiences.

10. Cultivating a Sense of Self-Worth

Finally, learning how to trust yourself is deeply intertwined with your sense of self-worth. When you believe in your abilities and make decisions that align with your values and goals, you reinforce the notion that you are worthy and capable.

Self-worth goes beyond external achievements; it’s about valuing yourself for who you are. It fosters a deep-seated contentment and peace within, which is essential for a fulfilling life. [Read: 33 Secrets to be true to yourself and 15 signs you need to unfake your life]

If You Trust Yourself, You Can Conquer the World

Our minds are often our greatest critics, constantly challenging our decisions and questioning our capabilities. But it’s important to remember that this inner critic can be tamed and transformed into a supportive ally.

The journey of learning how to trust yourself is about changing this internal narrative, shifting from doubt to confidence, from uncertainty to assurance.

It’s a process of understanding and harnessing your own strengths, accepting your weaknesses, and knowing that both are integral parts of who you are. [Read: I want to be loved – the psychology and 22 secrets to find that missing piece]

By embracing the strategies and insights on how to trust yourself, you’re not just quelling the doubts in your mind; you’re setting the stage for a life where you’re the confident author of your own story.

Trust in yourself ignites a powerful change in how you interact with the world, enhancing your relationships, decision-making, creativity, and resilience. When you trust in your abilities, your potential becomes limitless, and the world opens up in ways you never imagined.

[Read: 70 true secrets to happiness to have a happy life & enjoy everything you do]

If you learn how to trust yourself, you have the power to conquer not just the challenges in your path, but the world itself. The road may not always be easy, but with self-trust as your compass, there’s no limit to where you can go and what you can achieve.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...