There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Even the most together couples have their disagreements. Look at Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith! They’re one of the most together couples in Hollywood, but even they had their rough patch. Because of this, it’s often hard to know whether the person you’re so taken with is really the one or not.
If you’re loved up but sometimes things don’t go well, take heart in the fact that arguments and disagreements are normal. If anything, they’re also healthy.
It’s not good to constantly agree on everything, and healthy disagreements can help to develop the relationship to a higher level. However, if you’re always bickering and you’re wondering how to know if she is The One, that could be a sign that things aren’t quite on track.
The best way to understand whether the girl you’re with is the right one for you or not is to know the real signs. However, also be aware that every couple, even the most together ones, have their ups and downs too.
[Read: Don’t push away a girl who shows these signs she really, really cares about you]
What does it mean to be ‘The One’?
Before we delve into the signs for how to know if she is The One, let’s first look at what it actually means.
If someone is The One, it basically means that they’re someone you could see yourself spending your life with. It doesn’t mean there is only one single person for everyone on the planet however.
There are people who fall in love and are extremely compatible, but things happen and they go their separate ways over time. That person may then meet someone else and fall in love again, but in a slightly different way.
For that reason, I don’t believe there’s only one person for everyone but I do believe that you can tell whether someone is serious future material by assessing your connection. [Read: 35 really important questions to ask a girl you just met]
How to know if she is The One doesn’t come down to a tick list of items, it comes down to a sense that this is someone who you really could see yourself growing and developing with.
No relationship is ever the finished article, and there will always be challenges along the way. If you’re able to come through them together and work as a team to make things better, that’s the biggest and best sign there is. [Read: The 16 secrets to a perfectly happy relationship]
How to know if she is The One – The 17 signs to remember
What to learn how to know if she is The One? Check out these 17 signs and see how many you can nod along to.
#1 You want to share everything with her. This doesn’t mean you’re constantly going to spill the contents of your mind to her, but you want to share your thoughts and feelings with her, and she often does the same with you. When you meet The One, you don’t want to hold things back.
#2 You see your future with her. When learning how to know if she is The One, this is probably the biggest sign of them all. Do you see your future with her? If you can see yourselves together when you’re old and grey, you’re onto something good! [Read: 12 key moments in a relationship that predict your future together]
#3 She supports you through thick and thin. A strong and supportive woman is the ideal life partner. She will be there for you through whatever life throws at you and always be your biggest cheerleader.
#4 You think she would be a great life partner. Not only do you see her in your future but you think she would make a great partner for life too. How can you tell? She’s not only supportive but she’s also willing to work to make your relationship better. You can laugh together, you can cry together, and she’s a partner in more than the usual sense.
#5 Whenever something happens, she’s the one you want to talk to. Good or bad, whenever something happens in your life, she’s the one you want to reach out and speak to about it. You trust her advice and she always makes you feel better. How to know if she is the one? She’s your trusted confidant. [Read: The clearest signs she’s ready for a real relationship and is serious about you]
#6 You argue, but you work through it. Let’s not kid ourselves and say that you’re never going to argue or never have disagreements, because you will. However, those arguments don’t last long and you’re both willing to work through them to solve the problem. There are no grudges and no long periods of silent treatment.
#7 You can communicate with each other easily. How to know if she is the one comes down to so many elements but if you can communicate freely with each other and you don’t feel embarrassed or worried to speak to her, you’ve met someone who understands you on a deeper level.
#8 She makes you want to be better. This is probably one of the biggest signs you’ve met The One. Being with her makes you want to do better and be better, for yourself and for her. She makes you strive to meet your potential and be the best partner you can be. [Read: Wifey material – 25 clear signs she’s more than just dating material]
#9 You’d do anything to make her smile. Her smile brightens up your day and when she’s happy, you’re happy. Of course, when she’s sad, it makes you feel down and off-kilter too. This isn’t just about showing empathy, this is about having that strong connection.
#10 You can’t imagine your life without her. When you picture your life, she’s in it and you can’t imagine it being any other way. The sheer thought of her not being around makes you feel down, sad, and perhaps even scared.
#11 You don’t dream of other women. This doesn’t mean you’re never going to find another woman attractive in your life, because that’s unrealistic. But it means you’d never dream of doing anything about it because you’d never want to hurt her in that way. How to know if she is the one means committing yourself totally. [Read: How to avoid temptation and remain faithful to the one you love]
#12 She accepts everything about you, good and bad. And of course, you do the same for her. Nobody is perfect and if she isn’t concerned about your weaknesses and focuses more on your strengths, that means she’s accepted you completely. It’s a wonderful feeling.
#13 You’re both willing to apologize when you’re wrong. When two people aren’t meant for each other, there is often pride standing in the way. That means if you’re arguing, you’re not going to want to apologize to make things better. If the opposite true, she’s possibly The One.
#14 You put each other first. You want to make sure she’s okay and she does the same for you. As a result, you always consider each other’s feelings and you put one another first.
#15 Your feelings go beyond sex. At the start of a relationship, everything is passionate and it’s all about bedroom time. As the relationship develops, of course, sex is still important but it’s not all about that.
#16 Life is better when she is around. When she is around you, you feel calm and happy. Life is far more enjoyable when she is beside you and you’re doing things together. Of course, you can’t be side by side 100% of the time, but when you are, things are great. [Read: Do I really love her? 25 signs that’ll give you the real answer]
#17 You’re partners in everything. How to know if she is The One? You’re a team and you do the important things in life side by side, together, as a solid unit. That means you succeed and fail as one and you’re always there for one another whenever needed.
15 subtle signs she’s really not The One
You’ve learned how to know if she is The One, but what about signs that she’s really not the right one for you? These signs might be subtle, but they’re powerful!
#1 You regularly misunderstand each other and communication is difficult. You find it hard to communicate and you often find that you take things the wrong way or misunderstand one another. It simply feels difficult.
#2 She just doesn’t ‘get’ you. You get the sense of not being understood or totally accepted and there are things about her that you don’t really understand fully either. [Read: 20 signs of a bad girlfriend and easy ways to spot them instantly]
#3 It’s often just about sex. If you take sex out of the equation, what is left? That’s a strong question to answer and if you can’t give a clear answer or you feel nothing special would be left, that’s a pretty strong sign.
#4 You don’t have a lot in common. Whilst opposites can sometimes attract, you do need a certain amount of common ground. If you’re struggling to find that, you’re going to struggle to understand each other.
#5 She regularly calls out the things she doesn’t like about you. It’s not possible to love everything about a person, but you can accept it. If she’s not willing to do that, she’s not The One. [Read: The types of bad girlfriends who’ll make your life a living hell]
#6 Her eccentricities are a little annoying to you. You’re supposed to find her eccentricities cute and part of who she is, but if you just find them annoying, that’s not the greatest sign for longevity.
#7 Your values aren’t aligned. This is a huge problem. If your values aren’t in alignment, your relationship is never going to make it. You can have slightly different values, but in the end, they have to match up in some way.
#8 You both want totally different things. Life is going to take you down different paths in the end and that means you’re going to face heartbreak at some point in the future. When you both want different things, you’re either going to drift or one of you is going to have to compromise far too much. [Read: The things to know before getting engaged that can make or break you]
#9 When you picture the future, you’re not sure if she’s in it. That’s pretty obvious, right? How to know if she is The One means you see her in your future. If you picture it and she’s not there or you’re not sure, things don’t look good.
#10 You look at your friends’ relationships and find yours lacking. Firstly, never compare relationships but if you often feel that yours just doesn’t fulfill you in the same way that theirs seem to fulfill them, you have to question why.
#11 You often forget the small things about each other. Birthdays, middle names, favorite colors, important milestones, these are all things which people remember about one another when they’re connected. Sure, we sometimes forget but if it’s regular, that means you’re not paying attention for some reason. [Read: Am I being taken for granted by my girl? 16 subtle ways to know for sure]
#12 Your connection is lacking and people notice it. People often tell you that you just don’t seem that together and when you analyze it, you do feel that your connection isn’t as strong as it could be. Do you work on it, or do you realize it’s not meant to be?
#13 You often find yourself defending your relationship. Your nearest and dearest want the best for you and if they often voice their concerns about your relationship, you may find yourself constantly defending it. Why is that?
#14 You don’t have long conversations. Nobody wants to sit and have a full-on conversation all the time. But if you can’t remember the last time you did, you’re not communicating well. [Read: Lack of communication in a relationship and why it signals the end]
#15 You often think about what it would be like if you split up. It’s not the best sign if you often wonder what your life would be like if you split up. If that’s a regular feature, you’re not invested.
[Read: The clearest signs she is falling in love with you and is hoping for something serious]
Learning how to know if she is The One means thinking about many different things and piecing the puzzle together. It doesn’t mean you’ll never face tough times, but if you’re able to come through them together, that’s a great sign.
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