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How to Pick Up Girls at a Bar: Set Yourself Apart from the Herd

The bar is one of the best places to meet women, but using a cheesy line isn’t going to cut it. Here’s how to pick up girls at a bar with some finesse.

how to pick up girls at a bar

If you want to meet a girl at the bar, you may think that all you have to do is drop some lame line to get into her pants. It’s really not like that. To set yourself apart from the crowd requires learning the finesse of how to pick up girls at a bar.

In fact, if you search up pick-up lines, well there’s your first problem. I’m not trying to sound like an asshole, but do you know how many men approach us, asking us if we fell from heaven? You probably wonder how I know that line. Welcome to being a woman, fellas.

How to pick up girls at a bar

I’m not here to discourage you. If anything, I’m here to help you out. I want you to get the girl of your dreams. I just want you to be able to do it without begging for her number. Learning how to pick up a girl at a bar isn’t as complicated as you probably think it is. It’s actually quite simple yet always overhyped.

You probably already have a girl at the bar that you like, so, you’re already one step ahead of the game. The next step is approaching her and starting a conversation. This is where I come in to help. Don’t be an amateur when you can do it like a pro.

#1 Don’t force it. Listen, there are going to be some days where you won’t be able to successfully hit on a girl while other days your phone will be full of numbers. Don’t ask me why. Sometimes, people are in crappy moods or the music is better than last week. Point is, you can’t force a situation to happen. Sure, you can approach a girl, but if she’s not feeling it, back off. [Read: 13 rules of etiquette for the modern gentleman]

#2 Have a drink… or two. If hitting on girls isn’t your forte, why not have a drink or two to start the night off with some good energy. Having a drink helps relax you,  if you’re the nervous type. Once you have more practice under your wing then it won’t be so nerve-wracking for you. But for now, have a vodka coke, it helps you chill out. [Read: How to approach women: 15 tips you absolutely need to know]

#3 Give it a go early on in the night. Don’t wait four hours to hit on a girl. Do it right in the beginning of the night. If you get rejected, you have some time to mull it over and continue on with your night. If you wait too long, you might become more nervous or afraid. So, it’s best to get the rejection over and done with right in the beginning.

#4 Pick the right place at the bar. You need to be standing at the right place. You want a place at the bar which has a lot of people coming in and out. If you sit secluded in the corner, well, people think you’re antisocial, and no one comes close to you. So, hang around crowded areas, preferably not by the till. If there’s a specific area where people wait for their drinks, be there.

#5 No lame pick-up lines. Seriously, please, don’t do it. Say hi or use something around you as a way to start conversation. For example, if it’s really crowded at the bar, turn to the girl you like and say, “It’s really crowded at the bar.” There you go. See, how easy was that? And you didn’t have to try to remember some lame pickup line that you found online—definitely not from LovePanky.

#6 Be yourself. I cannot emphasize this enough. Don’t feed us with some idea of what you want us to think of you as. Just be yourself. If we feel that you bullshit us at any moment, the odds of you successfully picking us up at the bar are slim. You’re at the bar for a reason and we know why, so, if we’re going to go home with you, we need to make sure you’re who you say you are. [Read: 16 tricks that will make you instantly likable with girls]

#7 Keep your eyes open for opportunity. When it comes to knowing how to pick up girls at a bar, there are always opportunities to talk to them but most of the time men aren’t paying attention. You need to be alert, this is why you shouldn’t get completely wasted. Keep your eyes open for those small chances to strike up a conversation. Those are the best moments.

#8 Stay away from cockblocking situations. If you see a girl at the bar and she’s hanging out with an overly defensive friend, and you’re without a wingman, abort the mission. There’s a high chance she’s not going to leave the club with you and ditch her friend. Choose women you find attractive, however, make sure you have a decent chance at talking to them. [Read: The 14 types of cock blocks you could bump into at a bar]

#9 Leave the bar and come back. Don’t be the guy who’s always hanging out at the bar. Please, do leave the bar, walk around, go to the bathroom and then come back. If you think that women don’t pay attention, well, you’re wrong. We know who’s hanging out at the bar the whole time, looking for women.

#10 Don’t get wasted. This is a bad idea. I said have a drink or two, not ten. If you’re wasted at the bar, there is a pretty low chance you’ll bring home any girl. Who wants to take a drunk guy home and babysit him? Exactly. Be on your game. [Read: How to tell if there’s no chemistry and you should stop trying]

#11 Timing is everything. You cannot ask a girl to go home with you after five minutes of conversation. Unless, during that time she’s already told you she wants to sleep with you. If she hasn’t done that, slow it down and play it cool. Actually, be genuinely interested in having a conversation with her.

Then, when it comes to making a move, it won’t be such a huge deal. It comes off as natural. [Read: Does she want the D? 19 signs she wants you to take her home]

#12 Confidence is key. You really need to believe in yourself when when you’re trying to figure how to pick up girls at a bar. You have a lot of competition, but what makes you better than the rest of the guys is that you value yourself. Show women that you know who you are and you love yourself.

#13 Use a wingman, if necessary. If you’re into a girl who sits with her best friend, use a wingman. For sure, you can make a move without one, but it could be more successful if you brought a friend with you. Just make sure your friend is a good wingman. If not, you’ll have a problem. [Read: How to choose the perfect wingman who won’t screw you over]

#14 Be in the mood. If you’re really not in the mood to pick up a woman, don’t. Instead, it’s in your best interest to stay home or watch a movie with some friends. You’ll be doing a lot of small talk, so if you cannot stand the sight of people, hanging out at a bar won’t be the best experience for you.

[Read: The 20 moves you need to get super lucky with women]

Now that you know how to pick up girls at a bar, it’s time for you to get off your couch and get practicing. Be yourself and don’t take it so seriously, just enjoy the experience.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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