You don’t have to wear a neon sign that says, “Here I am!” All you really have to do is be yourself, but in a bigger and better way. By Danielle Anne Suleik
Why do people think that they’re unnoticeable? This is hardly true because people interact with other people on a daily basis, whether it’s online, at work or at school. The difference is that some people make a point of being noticed, while some coast along, hoping that a spark of recognition from their peers will validate their existence.
Some people choose to live isolated lives inside their homes, but complaining about not being noticed in that situation seems too ironic to contemplate. Some are engaged in various social circles, but feel that they aren’t making an impact on the people around them.
Being noticed is not about calling attention to who you are. It’s about making sure that who you are stands out in the crowd. In order to do this, you have to be comfortable within your own skin. This is only possible if you let go of your insecurities and resolve yourself to the fact that you do not have to work too hard to get noticed.
What makes a person stand out?
You would think that a person is only able to stand out when they have accomplished something in terms of their career, looks and social standing, but that is not true. People stand out because they allow themselves to be noticed.
They don’t stay on the side-lines planning their debut. They make an entrance by being the best that they can be. They achieve fame or attention, not by clamoring for it, rather by doing what they do best.
That popular girl at your school became that way, because she maximized her characteristics and traits and made it presentable by always looking her best and being the friendliest person around.
That famous DJ got the attention he deserved because he worked hard at mixing the best sounds he could in the comfort of his own home.
That unassuming student became Facebook’s owner because he chose to do what he did best. Everyone who gets positive attention did not beg for it. They allowed it to happen.
Your crush got your attention because he wasn’t aiming to get it. He was just being himself and that made you like him even more. It’s not hard to get noticed. It’s practically effortless once you decide not to put in any unnecessary work like getting a makeover, doing something you don’t want to or even making a spectacle of yourself in the middle of a crowd. [Read: How to be the lady who awes people with her presence]
How do you get noticed?
I keep saying that you don’t have to do anything, but how do you actually end up not doing anything to get noticed? By being yourself? Not many people know how to do that. Because of social media’s influence on our behaviors and views, a lot of us are forgetting what we’re really supposed to be like.
Are we that friendly? Do we really like that type of music? Do I think I look better in yellow because Taylor Swift looks awesome in chartreuse? Who knows? But we won’t find out until we try and accept the results of our social experiments.
What I am suggesting is a social experiment with yourself – the results will not be based on how people react to the changes in you, but it will be on how you perceive the change.
How to get noticed in a crowd
No idea what to do to grab the attention of the crowd without wasting time and money on expensive makeovers and classes? Here are some tips.
#1 Smile. You may be rocking the moody chick look in your mind’s eye, but no one ever liked a gloomy person. The only people that can relate to them are fellow mourners. Find something that makes you happy and smile about it – preferably in public or in front of your crush. [Read: 12 ways to make a good first impression]
#2 Laugh. We’ve tackled smiling, but laughing is a whole other level. Laughing means that you have the capacity to take things in stride and find the humor in everyday things. When people see you laugh genuinely about something, they’ll be intrigued and wonder why they aren’t in on the joke. No matter how corny the joke is, don’t hold the chuckles in.
#3 Be healthy. Do you know why attractive people get the most attention? This is because the attractiveness of a person can be subconsciously attributed to their health. You don’t need to go on the latest diet or spend hours at the gym. All you need to do is glow from within.
#4 Listen. People are more apt to remember you when they experience some sort of connection with you. When you listen to people’s problems, views and stories, they will establish a bond with you because you managed to give them the attention that they needed.
#5 Hone your skills. Since the beginning of time, people have had predetermined roles in society. Some cultures assigned these to their members, but that is usually because their attributes were readily apparent i.e. strength, intelligence, agility. These days, you have to find what you’re good at because hunting and gathering aren’t really a basis for recognition these days. Once you find what you excel at and maximize that potential, people will start to notice you.
#6 Have fun. The best way to connect with people is to do the same things that they do. This does not mean that you have to start playing an instrument because your crush is doing it. Do whatever makes you happy because sooner or later, you will find people who will appreciate your enthusiasm about a particular hobby, activity or interest.
#7 Be with people. If all you do is post Facebook statuses and Instagram food photos, the only people who will notice you are those who only care about social media and food. Real people go out and experience life. By doing so, you will be able to connect with individuals who notice the people around them. Being noticed means that someone is there to notice you. That won’t happen if you’re cooped up inside your room. [Read: 12 tips to add people to your social network]
#8 Appreciate. Don’t be afraid to compliment someone. You do not necessarily have to go up to a person and commend them on a job well done. You can do this by promoting their talent, buying their product or just enjoying what they offer – their talent, time, skill or friendship. In the end, they will be more than grateful for your support and appreciation, without you having to ask for it.
#9 Notice other people. The reason why nobody knows you’re there is because they’re too busy wondering if other people are aware of them as well. Be the bigger person and go up to your common acquaintances at a party or a fellow attendee at your seminar. If you are too shy to do so, you can smile, make eye contact or just give a passing compliment to anyone you like. [Read: 8 kinds of friends everyone needs in their life]
#10 Stop worrying. The more you worry about being noticed, the easier it is to be overlooked. Because you are consistently worrying, you will not be able to relax and be at ease enough to do what you want to do.
Instead of smiling, laughing, being happy and having fun, you will end up looking uncomfortable, unsure of yourself and practically nonexistent. Why? Because everyone wants to be noticed, and the way you portray yourself is the way countless others have as well. This just means that you will become one in a crowd of many, which defeats the purpose of being noticed.
Some might think it’s trivial to worry about being noticed. Unfortunately, this is a serious problem in some cases. Some people can’t handle not being heard or seen, which makes them turn to negative means of getting people’s attention.
You can avoid doing that by focusing on yourself and improving on the already good things that exist within you. Not being noticed by your crush is not the end of the world, but dwelling on it could prevent you from enjoying the people who appreciate and love you.
Follow these tips and don’t think about the outcome. You’ll be surprised at how your lack of focus on people’s attention towards you can allow you to develop more confidence and acquire new friendships made up of people who definitely notice you.
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Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...