The strong silent type can be a mystery, but there’s no denying they’re also pretty alluring too! So, why do we gravitate toward this type of guy?
Let’s face it, we all know the strong silent type. He’s usually dark and brooding, yet so manly and strong. This is the kind of man who uses his words carefully, never gossips, he’s never loud, arrogant, or brash. He simply says things when they need to be said.
He’s not shy or nervous. He doesn’t stutter or get flustered around women—he just chooses not to talk unless deemed necessary.
Put simply, he’s like a magnet for most women. [Read: Confident or cocky? 16 subtle signs that split an arrogant and modest man]
Does the strong silent type still exist?
You might wonder if this type of guy still exists in the loud and brash type of world we live in these days. Well, yes he does, but you might not find him quite as easily as you once would.
Certainly, he’s unlikely to be lurking around a nightclub or making his presence known on social media. Instead, he’s more likely to be found in quieter places; usually places you wouldn’t expect to meet someone.
So, if you’re really keen on meeting a strong silent type of guy, you’ll need to think outside of the box to grab one. Consider him a rare breed, but one that’s worth searching for. [Read: Weak men and strong men – the opposing traits that split them apart]
What’s so alluring about the strong silent type?
It’s funny when you think about it. On paper, this type of guy comes across as kind of rude. If you list the kind of things they you in a guy, you’ll probably think of a good sense of humor, good conversationalist, he’s interested in you, and he asks lots of questions. These are all attractive features in a man.
So, why would the kind of guy who stays quiet, isn’t overly friendly, stays apart from big groups, and tends not to bother with parties be someone we find so immediately hot? [Read: The 41 best qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]
For as long as documented relationships, the strong silent type has been cast as someone women aspire to be with.
Indeed, the archetypal strong silent type turns up in many romance novels as the main love interest. But just what is it about them that we like so much? Let’s examine the reasons closely.
1. The mystery
Particularly at the beginning of relationships, the mystery is what makes everything so exciting. You don’t know much about the other person, and they hardly know you. Every moment you spend together is full of intriguing possibilities.
The strong silent type is truly mysterious. They give so little away that it becomes almost agonizing trying to get to know them, to get them to share their secrets, or to tell their story. This also makes the honeymoon period last longer.
As all your past boyfriends spilled their innermost secrets, embarrassing stories, and earthly desires after a couple of mojitos, the strong silent type isn’t giving anything away unless you really, truly work for it. That sense of mystery is naturally very attractive. [Read: Honeymoon phase – what it is and 53 signs to know how long this stage will last]
2. The physical attraction
Of course, there is the obvious physical attraction they provide. When we think of the strong silent type we typically think of a man who is lean, muscular, with dark hair and brooding eyes.
Now we are not saying that is everyone’s cup of tea, but it certainly sounds alright to us!
Women tend to be more attracted to men who look strong and healthy. It only makes sense that this type of man would be high on any woman’s list. [Read: How to be more attractive to women and 72 traits that make you very desirable]
3. The challenge
Of course, the strong silent type doesn’t exactly fit in with the idea of a massive player. He would be someone incredibly choosy when it comes to women, and therefore the challenge of bagging yourself such a man can be particularly attractive.
Being the woman who managed to get the strong silent type is a pretty impressive boast, further heightening our attraction toward them.
4. The protection
Many women like to feel protected. After all, the idea of a knight in shining armor didn’t come from nowhere. We all look for a man who we feel safe with and who would protect us from danger or harm.
The strong silent type is exactly the kind of man women imagine keeping them safe against all the odds. That is something we can’t help but find seriously attractive too. [Read: Toxic masculinity – 46 manly and toxic traits women love and despise in men]
5. The intimacy
If you finally manage to break down the barriers of the strong silent type, you likely form a unique and intimate bond with them that is so attractive for women.
There is nothing worse than being in a relationship with a guy who you feel is emotionally unavailable. But the strong silent type is one of those guys that keep their defenses up only until they completely trust you.
Once they let you in and allow you to see their more vulnerable side, you have a truly unbreakable bond. This bond makes you feel like nothing will ever come between you. [Read: 18 secrets to get a man to open up, communicate, and understand you]
6. The uniqueness
Everyone loves to be different, particularly when it comes to love. We want to feel as though our relationships are totally unique and special. No one else gets it because no one else has a love like ours. Well, the strong silent type provides uniqueness in bucket loads.
While all your friend’s boyfriends give each other wedgies, down pints, or ignore their womenfolk to talk for hours on end about sports, your man prefers to sit quietly and think.
The strong silent type provides a big contrast to the typical modern man, which makes them unique. Therefore making them more attractive. [Read: The science & rules of attraction and 29 traits that are far sexier than looks]
How to get yourself a strong silent type
Now we know why we are attracted to this kind of guy, what can we do about it? More specifically, how do we get one ourselves?!
1. Be interesting and intelligent
Bagging a strong, silent type is all about keeping it classy. They don’t like to draw attention to themselves. If you are the kind of gal who likes to knock back a few tequilas and dance all night on the bar, he might not be the right guy for you.
If you strike up a conversation with him, then make sure you are able to be interesting and intelligent. And be prepared to ask lots of questions to keep things flowing. [Read: How to become an intellectual – learn to fake it ’til you make it]
2. Don’t be too loud
The strong silent type isn’t interested in a girl who shrieks in his ear every five seconds or likes to be the center of attention. They go for women who are strong, confident, and comfortable in their own skin, and don’t feel the need to shove it in people’s faces either!
3. Don’t be afraid to make the first move
The strong silent type may be the kind of guy that never makes the first move. So, if a guy catches your eye you might need to get the ball rolling.
However, don’t be afraid that this puts them off. Do it right, and it could be the start of something. Keep your cool and don’t be afraid to go up to him. [Read: 41 casual conversation starters to use with a guy to get him talking]
4. Don’t be too silly
The strong silent type isn’t really a silly kind of guy, so if your style is more goofing around and playing pranks on one another, he might not be the right kind of guy for you. [Read: Stop chasing him – why guys run and why you shouldn’t chase them]
What you need to know before dating a strong silent type of guy
The strong silent type might be a mystery but he can be difficult to date too. He might have a totally different personality to what you’re used to, and that means you need to be prepared for what’s to come.
1. Don’t be alarmed if he’s quiet
It’s just the way he is. The strong silent type doesn’t feel the need to fill every single silence with words, and that means you’re going to have times when neither of you says anything.
Rather than finding it all a bit uncomfortable, embrace the quiet. He’s happy to be there, he just doesn’t need to chatter endlessly. [Read: The different types of introverts, what makes one, and baby steps to communicate better]
2. Staying in vs. going out
This type of guy isn’t a party dude. That doesn’t mean he never goes out, but it does mean that he prefers to enjoy quiet evenings inside. So, if you’re someone who enjoys going out all the time, you might need to compromise a little here.
If you choose to go out, think of different activities you can do together that don’t always include partying. You could go see a movie or a play, or you can go to a quiet bar and enjoy the ambiance.
3. Keep up your end of the bargain
You can’t expect him to change who he is, so if he’s quiet, that means he’s not going to be the one starting up conversations all the time. You need to know your end of the bargain and be prepared to carry the bulk of the conversation load.
However, if you find that he’s disinterested in conversations, you might want to find out why. There’s a difference between being strong and silent and being downright rude and ignorant! [Read: Why are people rude and mean to nice people and ways to deal with them]
4. Be sensitive to the silence
Just remember that he might not want to have a conversation all the time. If you’re a chatty person, he might not want to have you talking at him constantly.
So, be sensitive to his needs and understand that sometimes you just need to enjoy each other’s company without the noise.
5. Know where he stands
The strong silent type tends to be quite intelligent and that means he knows a lot of things and probably has strong opinions and principles too.
There could be certain subjects that are off the table for him and it’s important to know about those early on, so you don’t end up with a problem further down the line. [Read: How to make small talk to anyone without feeling awkward]
He might be a mystery, but he’s one worth solving!
The strong silent type is certainly a guy that will confuse and frustrate you from time to time, but he’s more than worth your time and effort if you manage to get him to open up.
Underneath that hard exterior is a guy who wants to be loved like everyone else, but he’s going to make you work for it! Whether you choose to stick around or decide it’s too much like hard work is up to you, but remember—some of the best things are worth waiting for.
[Read: 47 good and bad types of guys in the dating world and secrets to read them]
The strong silent type is and always will be one of the stereotypes of what many women find really attractive. The mystery, the intrigue, those muscular forearms. Yep, they all play a part in what makes him so attractive.