Dating an ex is almost always doomed to failure.
Quite a sorry start, but it’s something you really have to understand.
If you’re contemplating over dating an ex, you really have to think of that adage, once bitten twice shy, and consider your options beyond that.
Now not all ex reunions end badly.
In fact, it could actually help both partners understand the real value of the relationship.
But dating an ex brings a big question into the picture.
Are you really ready for it?
Dating an ex – Are you ready for it?
It doesn’t matter how many months or years have passed since your breakup.
Every now and then, you may find your thoughts taking a walk down memory lane and recollecting your ex and all the happy moments you shared together.
You may have a handful or a lot of exes, but almost all the time you’d still have an ex or two that you fondly remember.
You may be in a serious relationship with someone else, or you may find yourself single after a torrid fling with the wrong partner.
Whatever may be the case, you may find yourself thinking about your ex or recreating a fantasy where both of you bump into each other and share a little fling or live happily ever after. Dating an ex can turn out to be the best thing in your life, if you’re trying to get back with your ex for all the right reasons. But if you’re making a mistake all over again because you’re feeling lonely, you’d have no option but to go through the same painful frustrations all over again.
Memories of your ex
So why exactly have you been thinking about your ex and missing them? Is it because you genuinely love them and think the break up was a mistake?
Or is it because your relationship with your ex seemed a lot better than the relationship you’re in now? You really shouldn’t try to get back with your ex because you’re having a hard time getting into a new relationship or experiencing another bad relationship.
Here are a few things you need to ask yourself. If you still think you should date your ex after giving these aspects a thought, well, perhaps, you are ready to take a plunge back into the same waters all over again. After all, dating an ex for all the wrong reasons will do nothing but take you back to square one. [Read: How to get over a broken heart]
Comparing your present with your past
Dating an ex is extremely tempting after a break up.
When you’re in a relationship, you get to do a lot of couple things together, be it in bed, at a party or while lazing at home. But the minute you break up, it’s all over. All of a sudden, you would have to force yourself into a whole new life whether you’re ready or not.
Even if you’re in a relationship with someone else, you can’t help but compare your ex with your current partner now and then. And if your current partner lacks in a few departments when compared to your ex, you’d obviously feel a huge surge of renewed appreciation for your ex.
Is it the sex?
You can’t really grab an ex wherever you want to, now that both of you have broken up. You may bump into an ex now and then, and the most you can do is admire how good they look, especially if they’re in someone else’s arms! [Read: Are you jealous of your ex?]
Sex with an ex can be a rather tempting proposition, and the breakup may renew all the passion and sexual attraction that may have been lacking while you were in the relationship with you ex. Most people confuse this kind of an attraction with love. But it really isn’t. [Read: Getting back with an ex for sex]
Is it really love?
The only reason you should ever get back with an ex is if you truly love them and find yourself shattered after the break up. If you’ve been dumped or found yourself walking out on a cheating partner, you may still love your ex and may want to start dating your ex again. But should you take a chance on your ex’s love again?
If you truly love your partner and want to get back with them, find out if you’re ready to date your ex again with these questions.
Is the feeling mutual?
Do both of you want to get back together or is it just a one sided love story with no happy ending in sight? If your lover is happy in another relationship and has no interest in getting back with you, you really can’t force your ex into walking out of a happy relationship just for you. The only way you can date your ex is if both of you want to get back together and give the old romance another chance at being happy.
[Read: Signs your ex is missing you]
Where did you go wrong?
This is treading on tricky grounds because both of you may not always be too keen to accept responsibility. But can you really pinpoint where both of you went wrong in the relationship? Dating an ex is easy, but going through the same pain and frustrations all over again is just not worth the effort unless both of you avoid repeating the same mistakes all over again. [Read: How to stay in love forever]
Is there enough maturity?
Have both of you matured emotionally since the break up? When you’re experiencing a messy relationship, it’s easy for two grown people to behave like children, especially when it comes to things like relationship insecurity, jealousy and communication.
Do you genuinely think you and your ex can look past the earlier errors and avoid them from ever happening again?
Will the same mistakes crop up again?
If you want to date an ex, you have to be willing to take a chance together with a hope of something better the second time around. But can you prevent the same mistakes that happened the first time around from cropping up this time around? And even if the same painful memories surface, are both of you ready to face it and overcome it? [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship]
Is a second chance worth the effort?
Dating an ex again can feel so good, especially for the first few weeks or months. The novelty of getting your ex back in your arms could seem intoxicating and the sex may be fabulous. But at some point of time, the relationship will start to attain its maturity, and it will happen much faster than a new relationship because both of you know each other so well already.
When the excitement does wear off eventually, would you still be happy to spend the rest of your life with your partner?
Can you really see your ex as someone you can spend the rest of your life with, once the novelty and excitement wears off? If you’re unsure of any of these questions, perhaps you should ponder over your thought of dating an ex again and give these questions a serious thought before taking the plunge again.
[Read: How to love again after being hurt]
So should you date your ex again? Dating an ex is always tempting, but is it really worth the effort? That’s something you really need to think about unless you’re ready for another round of wasted love and frustrations. Click here to continue reading about how to date an ex again.
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