Love is such a tricky thing to pin down. You have so many different types, and they all mean very different things to a person. So, what is real love? How do we differentiate real love from all the other types of love out there?
By now I’m sure you know I’m talking about being in love with someone. Because sure, you can definitely love the person you’re with and care about their well-being, but does that mean it’s real love? Where does that line separate the two, and how are you supposed to know?
Love comes in all different forms
It’s hard to look at someone and tell them you love them only to later realize that it wasn’t the type of love you thought. You can love someone like family, like a friend, and even just love them enough to worry about them… but not enough to need them around all the time.
With all these different types of love out there, it can be confusing to know which one you feel for someone. Of course, your biggest concern is whether or not it’s real love, and if it’s worth putting in all the effort you are. [Read: 10 absolutely dreamy signs of love at first sight]
So… what is real love?
That leaves us with this question. Yes, that one… what is real love and how in the hell can you tell the difference? I, for one, have learned the hard way how to tell the difference. It’s definitely something that takes time and experience to pinpoint, but you can learn which type of love is real and what isn’t.
If you’re just as curious about what real love is as I once was, you’ll definitely benefit from these different ways you can tell what real love is. Be prepared, though, because these are the answers you may not have expected.
#1 You care more about their happiness than your own. This may seem cliché, but it’s true. If you’re truly in love with someone and it’s real love, you care more about them being happy than you do yourself.
Therefore, you put them above you in your life and recognize that sometimes real love means sacrificing your happiness because you need someone else to be happy. [Read: What is unconditional love? A true real life story]
#2 You actively WANT to support them in their dreams. This is something a lot of people don’t realize because, yes, you should always support those you care deeply about. However, there’s a difference in doing so because you HAVE to and doing so because you WANT to. If it’s real love, you’ll want to support them because you want to see them happy.
#3 You do things to make them happy – despite how you feel about it. This doesn’t mean doing things that go against your morals or anything serious like that. I’m talking about waking up with them at 5 a.m. to make them breakfast even if you don’t have to be up until at least 7.
#4 They’re the first person you want to tell about the events in your life. This is an often overlooked characteristic of real love.
If you immediately think about someone whenever something significant happens to you, and all you want to do is run and tell them, it’s real love. Wanting someone to be included in every aspect of your life is what real love is about. [Read: How to know when you’re in real love – 50 signs you just can’t ignore]
#5 They feel like home. If you’re unfamiliar with how this feels, then you don’t know what real love is like just yet. Real love feels like home. It feels like no matter what, going back to that person feels like you’re at home – no matter where you actually are.
#6 They’re your family. Family doesn’t always mean someone you’re married to or blood related to. You can make your own family with those around you who you really love. If it’s real love, you’ll feel as though that person is a part of your life like they’re family.
#7 It’s a slow-burning feeling. Maybe people confuse passion with love. The two are not interchangeable. Sure, you can have passion in real love, but passion is also something that is often there in the beginning of new relationships no matter if real love is or not.
Real love is more of a slow-burning feeling. It feels warm and it’s always there, and sometimes it’ll heat up hotter than usual, and sometimes it’ll simmer down. But no matter what, the fire keeps burning. [Read: 12 real signs of true love in a relationship]
#8 It’s unconditional. Real love has no boundaries when it comes to loving someone. If you’re truly in love with them, you love them under any circumstances. Your love for them has no conditions. No matter what happens to them or with them, you’re still in love.
#9 Jealousy is nearly non-existent. Real love has no room for jealousy. Sure, you’ll have the occasional bout of jealousy in certain situations, and that’s normal. But there is no consistent feeling of being jealous of someone else. Why? Because if it’s real love, you feel secure in that relationship with that person. [Read: What a happily ever after? Look for these 14 signs of love in your romance]
#10 You don’t ever feel judged – no matter what. This is the biggest thing that makes love real. If you can go to your partner with anything and have no fear about being judged or how they feel about you, it’s real love. True and real love means not judging your significant other, and not feeling judged by them.
#11 Your life feels better with them in it, but you don’t NEED them. A lot of people mistake needing someone in their life with being real love. The truth is, it’s not healthy or natural to NEED someone in your life. If it’s real love, you WANT them in your life because they make it better. [Read: How to love someone without smothering them]
#12 Real love is an action. What is real love? Well, real love isn’t just a feeling, but an action. It’s actively being in their life, and showing that you love and care about them every single day. If you just feel love for them but don’t do anything to actively show them this because you don’t have a desire to, it’s not real love.
#13 It’s acceptance. Accepting of your love and who you are together is what real love is. It’s knowing all of your faults together and still wanting to be with that person despite the hardships. [Read: Love is in the air! 13 signs you’re starting to fall in love]
#14 It’s comfortable. Real love is one of the most comfortable feelings there is. You just feel content in life and comfortable with where you are – even if you have difficulties going on. It’s the feeling of just being who you are and living your life the way you want with someone who feels the same.
#15 It’s feeling happy despite the hardships in your life. No matter what’s going on in your life, if you have real love, you have happiness there. Even if you’re going through a really hard time and you’re miserable, there is still an underlying happiness that lingers there.
[Read: Real soulmates – 20 signs you’ve met the love of your life already]
When it comes to the answer to the question, what is real love, you may have difficulty knowing when you feel it. But these characteristics of real love can help you determine just how you feel about someone.
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