Clingy girlfriends aren’t born, they’re made that way. Read these 13 revealing clingy girlfriend signs and find out how to avoid it the right way. By Jessica Dawson
There’s a thin line between a clingy girlfriend and a loving one.
But at times, even the best of us can end up becoming a clingy girlfriend without really realizing it.
Being a clingy girlfriend isn’t a bad thing, just as long as you know where to draw the line.
The most confusing part about the clingy persona is that it’s subjective.
An old boyfriend may thing you were clingy, while a new boyfriend may think you’re too distant!
Who is a clingy girlfriend?
First of all, a clingy girlfriend isn’t a bad girlfriend. Let me clear that up right away.
Clingy lovers are lovers who don’t feel appreciated or loved in a relationship. This lack of love turns to insecurity, which can eventually turn into a plea for attention and love.
And that is the real true definition of a clingy girlfriend.
A clingy girlfriend is a great girlfriend who either hasn’t got enough love or just wants more love from her boyfriend. Now is that really a bad thing?
Well, sometimes, it can be.
13 clingy girlfriend habits and how to avoid it
One boyfriend may absolutely love being attached at your hip while another boyfriend may just want to hold hands for five seconds in a day.
Does that mean one boyfriend is better than the other? Well, it all depends on your perspective of love and what you expect out of it.
When you enter a new relationship, it’s not easy to know how clingy you have to be. So follow the new relationship rules and you’ll be all great. [Read: New relationship rules for happy love]
If you’ve ever had one of those conversations with your guy where he thinks you’re too clingy, don’t panic. Give it a thought, and use these clingy girlfriend signs to find out if you’re overstepping the line anywhere.
#1 Space in a relationship
This is the biggest clingy girlfriend trait that most guys despise. Do you give your boyfriend enough time to do his own thing? Guys love their space and they need some time by themselves, even if they’re doing nothing. It’s their way to unwind after a long day. [Read: How to give space in a relationship the right way]
#2 You want to talk for hours and he doesn’t
You may love snuggling up in bed and speak to him over the phone for hours every night. Your guy may love doing that at the start of the relationship, but as the relationship’s novelty starts to wear off and the love settles into a mature and happy zone, he may want to cut down on the duration of the call. It doesn’t mean he loves you less. It just means he’s ready to get back to his normal life when he had other things to do at night.
If your boyfriend hints about wanting to spend less time talking over the phone, don’t force him to talk to you. Instead, keep your calls short for a few days and hang up even before he wants to hang up. It’ll make him miss you more! [Read: Why do men hate talking on the phone?]
#3 You don’t have a life of your own and hate that he has a life
Go out with your own friends. Don’t always be waiting for him to make plans and take you out. Respect yourself and don’t be available at his beck and call. If you want to avoid getting a tag of the clingy girlfriend, make your boyfriend a part of your life. Don’t ever make him your whole life. At least, not until you know he thinks you’re his whole life!
#4 You genuinely think everyone else but you are a bad influence on him
Admit it, your boyfriend got along just fine with his own life until you came into it. You fell in love with him for the person he is before he met you. Yes, he may have a few bad friends. But instead of asking him to avoid his friends, help him learn from his mistakes by subtly revealing the flaws of a few friends when he’s bitching about them.
#5 Don’t always be the damsel
Guys love to play the part of the protector in the relationship. Ask for help and he’ll feel manly. But ask for too much, and he’ll just get annoyed. Learn to ask for help in the right way, and he’ll love you more. [Read: How to be the perfect damsel in distress]
#6 You’re insecure when he meets an attractive girl
Do you ever feel insecure when he spends time with an attractive girl? Why? Are you afraid he’ll fall in love with her and leave you? You may be low on self esteem because you’re not talking to any sexy guys yourself.
Go out there with your own friends and meet hot looking guys and have a flirty conversation with them when your boyfriend isn’t around. You’ll soon realize that just talking to a sexy guy doesn’t mean you want to have sex with him. And you’ll probably start trusting your boyfriend more.
#7 You don’t like it when he spends time with his friends
So your man prefers to spend time with his own friends instead of you? Why do you think he does that?
# He may be spending enough time with you already. *or*
# He may think you’re easily available for him whenever he wants you.
The only reason you feel lonely without him is because you don’t have anything to do besides hanging out with your boyfriend. Don’t be that girl. Have your own life and make him want to spend more time with you. Turn the tables around and he’ll trail you like a lost puppy. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in you in 30 sexy ways]
#8 You think your relationship needs to be improved
Guess what? Most relationships aren’t perfect. If you aren’t happy in a relationship, walk out of it. Don’t try to change someone to suit your needs because that’s not going to happen.
You may think that bringing up problems in the relationship all the time will make him a better man who can love you in a better way. Be frank and explain what you feel without losing your cool. Mention it in a clear manner without any frustrations. But don’t force him to become your idea of a perfect man by drilling him into submission.
#9 You’re very suspicious
Just because he’s out with his friends or working late doesn’t mean he’s sowing his wild oats. Do you really think you can stop a guy from having an affair if he really wants to?
Men and women have affairs because they want to, and if they really do want to have an affair, they’ll find ways to do just that. Your boyfriend loves you for who you are. Meeting one new sexy girl won’t make him think less of you. If there’s love in the air with you, he’ll know the right thing to do. He really doesn’t need a suspicious girl sniffing his underwear each time he comes home. And guess what, the more suspicious you are, the more he’d want to cheat.
After all, you’re already certain that he’ll cheat on you, so he might as well get it done with and prove your point for you! [Read: Affairs in a relationship and the games your egos play]
#10 You want to stay in touch all the time
Let’s face it. All of us are different. You may want him to keep you updated on his life every hour or so, but does he want to do the same? Don’t push someone to do what you want.
You can call him every hour or so and tell him what you’re up to if you want. Call to keep him updated if you’re stepping out of the office to have coffee with a friend. But don’t ask him what he’s doing. Hang up within a minute or two.
If he gets the hint and likes these short calls to keep each other updated now and then, he’ll start doing the same too. If he’s not that kind of a guy, tell him a few times that it would feel nice to know what he’s up to now and then. If he doesn’t like it, love him for who he is or meet someone else.
#11 You want his attention all the time
Do you feel like you deserve his attention all the time, even if he’s busy talking to someone else, working on something or just relaxing by himself? Of course, you are his girlfriend. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own interests.
Remember that both of you are two individuals who are in love with each other. You don’t own each other. Do you ever feel like you’re the only one making all the plans or trying to hold the relationship together? You may think you’re the savior, while he may think you’re a clingy annoying girlfriend. [Read: 10 annoying girlfriend habits guys hate]
Keep yourself busy doing what you love and make him come to you. Be that perfect woman in his eyes and make him realize how much of a catch you are!
#12 You can’t accept the fact that his life doesn’t revolve around you.
Love makes the whole world go round. It can be frustrating to see that you are not the center of the universe in your man’s eyes. Instead of nagging about it, learn to make him want you more.
Do you get pissed off if he’s watching a movie and wants to call you back in a while? That’s probably because you’re too jobless. Make him miss you by keeping yourself busy. If he sees that you’re not easily available for him, he’ll appreciate you and love you more.
#13 You think he doesn’t love you half as much as you love him
If you ever feel that way, you’re already being clingy. Unless you’re in a relationship where both of you want to spend every minute together, you need to take a step back and let him live his own life.
What makes you think he doesn’t love you enough? Talk to him about it and hear his reasoning for it with an open mind. If you feel like both of you have different priorities in love, rethink the status of the relationship. [Read: Conversation tips to end a relationship the perfect way]
While it’s a good thing to give him some space, don’t ever let him throw you around or make you feel second best. If he makes a date with you and breaks the date to go out with his friends, throw him out on the streets. If you truly respect yourself for who you are, you’ll never hear your boyfriend calling you a clingy girlfriend. It’s time you learn that it’s easier to dump a boyfriend who thinks you’re clingy than try to change him.
How to avoid being a clingy girlfriend
# Know you’re hot stuff. Believe in yourself and respect yourself.
# Don’t have low self esteem. You definitely deserve him.
# Be independent and make him want your attention. Play the damsel in distress only when necessary. [Read: What guys like in girls more than anything else!]
# Be mysterious. Don’t be predictable and easy to read. An open book is boring. A sealed book with a sneak peek is always exciting.
# Always make him want more. Never smother him or give him too much, too early.
# Awe him. Let him see you’re hot stuff and he’ll want you more.
# Read his behavior and try to understand him before he calls you a clingy girlfriend.
# Respect yourself. No one has the right to treat you badly.
If you’ve ever been called a clingy girlfriend by your boyfriend, give these signs a serious thought. It’ll help you have a better relationship, make your boyfriend desire you more, and give you a life you’ll love!
We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!
Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!