If your nickname is the “stage 5 clinger” we have a problem. Well, you have a problem, but we offer a solution to learn how to be less clingy.
When we crush on someone, we tend to always magically be around them. But it’s time to find a healthy balance between showing your affection and giving them personal space. If you learn how to be less clingy, there’s no way that they won’t be into you. So, it’s time you learned how!
Because there’s still a way to hang out with them without looking too clingy. Remember, you want to give them space to breathe and think about you without having you always by their side. You see where I’m going with this? Let’s drop that “stage 5 clinger” nickname. It doesn’t suit you. [Read: 8 signs you’re coming on way too strong]
How to be less clingy
Of course, as someone who’s experienced their fair share of crushes, I know how this works. You know their schedule, you know where they hang out on the weekends or who their friends are. It’s not your fault they post everything on Facebook! Okay, but still, this becomes a problem even if they like you.
If you don’t let someone breathe and have their own space, it’s suffocating and clingy. I know that’s not your intention, I know you like them and just want to spend time with them, but it’s not coming across like that.
#1 It’s you. I know you want me to tell you it’s because they act like this. The thing is, this clingy behavior is because of you, not them. Sure, they may act distant, but you react in this way. Instead of communicating with them or looking within, you grab onto them because you’re scared of losing them. [Read: 9 effective ways to stop being needy and insecure]
#2 Admit that you’re clingy. Maybe someone told you that you’re clingy, so that’s why you’re reading this. But, if you don’t actually think you’re clingy, none of this will help you in learning how to be less clingy. Before you make any changes, fully accept you exhibit clingy behavior. This is the only way to make permanent changes.
#3 It’s all about self-confidence. There’s a reason why you act this way. You’re scared of losing them. Why would you be scared of that? Your insecurities and fears overtake you, thus you behave in a clingy way. Work on your self-confidence instead. Do things that make you feel good, make sure you do these things outside of your relationship. [Read: 11 powerful confidence boosts to alter your life]
#4 You have to sort through your trust issues. You’re clingy because you fear losing this person, but you also don’t trust them or the relationship. You need to fully trust your partner. If not, you will never be able to fully give them the space they need.
This means digging through your trust issues and getting to the root issues. Talk about it with them, with a therapist, and with yourself.
#5 Space is a good thing. People get caught up in the idea that they need to be with someone 24/7 in order to show them that they care for them. This isn’t how it works. Too much closeness puts a strain on the relationship. You probably see it in your relationship right now. They may push you away because they feel trapped. Give them space, it makes the relationship stronger. [Read: 10 obvious hints guys give when they want more space in the relationship]
#6 Put yourself first. Right now, all you think about is them. It’s all them, them, them. Stop it. It’s time to flip that around and start thinking about yourself, working through your issues, and reflecting. Give yourself essential alone time. It provides you space to rebalance your thoughts and emotions.
#7 Take control of your anxiety. This is also tied to your self-esteem. You’re anxious because you want your partner to like you and stay with you. But this puts a lot of pressure on them. A pressure that isn’t needed in a relationship. Focus on taking your anxiety and turning it into a positive outlook. Take on habits which reduce your anxiety and make you feel internally at peace. [Read: 20 mistakes to stop making and letting relationship anxiety go]
#8 Clinginess is also physical. We use nonverbal communication as a way to communicate with our partners as well. We hold hands, kiss, hug, lean into them. These are all ways to show affection which is good, you need that. However, it sometimes goes overboard and makes the person feel they literally can’t get out of your grasp. That’s not how they should feel. So, respect their personal boundaries.
#9 It’s too much of them. Clinginess is from being around too much of one thing. In this case, it’s your partner. If they’re the only person you hang out with, this is a good sign it’s time to expand your social circle. Of course, still, spend time with them. But also make sure you see other people at least once or twice a week. It reduces your clingy behavior.
#10 Talk to your partner. Talk to them honestly and openly. Find out which behavior your partner has problems handling and what their boundaries are. They may be too scared to tell you that they need some time alone or to hang out with friends. If you want a trustworthy relationship, start talking about your issues, showing them that you’re aware. They’ll help and support you. [Read: How to give someone space without losing them]
#11 Don’t think “what if.” I know, I used to think like this. I would be at home and my boyfriend at the time would be at a bar with his friends. I sat at home thinking, “What if he meets another girl?” These thoughts don’t make things better for you mentally. Take control of your fears and focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.
#12 Stop trying to control everything. You can’t control your relationship. There are two people involved, it’s not just you. I know you want everything to work out a specific way, but this is highly toxic behavior for any relationship. If someone wants to be with you, they’ll be with you. You cannot control your partner. [Read: 20 glaring signs you have a control freak in you]
#13 Talk to a professional. If you find you can’t control your anxiety or communicate effectively with your partner then why not see a professional therapist? They’ll be able to find the root issue of what’s really causing these feelings inside of you. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in our heads that we can’t find a way out.