Getting rejected on your first attempt to kiss your date can definitely scar your ego. But when you know these signs, you’ll never be rejected again!
We’ve all been through that uncomfortable moment where the guy or girl leans in for the kiss and a myriad of awkward and embarrassing situations suddenly pop up. If you’ve ever been in any of these situations, it’s time to strategize and observe your target before literally diving in for a kiss.
So you lean in and this happens…
Scenario 1: She moves back a step and wishes you good night.
Scenario 2: She pushes you away and wishes you good night.
Scenario 3: She pulls a Jackie Chan and tumbles out of reach, rolls inside her door and slams it shut in your face.
Scenario 4: She slaps you.
Scenario 1 and 2 are the big favorites, while 3 and 4 are highly unlikely. Still, it’s better to be prepared for any possibility if your date doesn’t feel like giving you a kiss before you say good night.
People assume that just because they’re on a date that they’re entitled to a kiss in the middle or the end of the date. If this were a perfect world, that could be true. However, a kiss has to happen when two people feel a connection – romantic or otherwise.
Why aren’t you getting that kiss?
When it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t mean that the date was a failure. It just means that the person you’re with isn’t ready to take that next step. Kissing is a special act that happens when two people who are attracted to each other feel the urge to connect physically.
It needs to be mutual. You can’t just attempt it thinking that they might go along with it. You could just end up with Scenario 4 if you become too aggressive about it. Don’t judge a person because of her decision to ignore your attempt. They usually have a valid reason as to why they don’t want to do it. So, why do people prefer not to kiss?
#1 They don’t feel a connection yet. Some people feel this immediately, while some people are too guarded to notice that you both work well together. Kissing may seem trivial to some, but others think it’s as special as making love. If you really like the person, you should be willing to wait for them to be open about being physical with you.
#2 One of you has bad breath. Oh, it happens. It could be a deal breaker or it could just be something that you can laugh about in the future. Either way, it’s not a good way to end an amazing date.
#3 She doesn’t like you enough. Bad breath or not, a girl will not opt to kiss you if she doesn’t like you at all. If she did, you would end up assuming that there’s still a chance for the both of you. By refusing to kiss you, she may very well be saving you from a fruitless pursuit of her affection. [Read: 6 ways to accidentally kiss your friend]
#4 The date went badly. Somebody has to say it. If nobody will, the lack of a goodnight kiss will do that for you. No matter how much you like a person, a kiss is less likely to happen if the night ended badly. Any number of circumstances could make this happen. If the first date’s a failure, pray and hope it’ll go better next time – if there is still a next time.
#5 The setting isn’t right. Doorways are the perfect setting for goodnight kisses. Freeways, restrooms and living rooms with parents present aren’t exactly the ideal location for a romantic interval. If your date doesn’t feel like it’s the proper place to give or receive a kiss, she won’t let it happen.
Is she ready for that kiss?
You can’t really choreograph a moment like this, but you can anticipate it. There are several very obvious signs that your kiss will be reciprocated or at least welcomed. All you have to do is read the signs, make your move and prepare for whatever happens.
Just because these signs lead you to that magical moment, it won’t determine the outcome of the kiss. Before anything else, make sure your breath smells fresh, you don’t have a glass-full of saliva stored in your mouth and that neither of you are uncomfortable.
How to know if she’s ready for your first kiss
REMEMBER: Just because you see the signs doesn’t mean that it’s always okay to pounce on your date. Make sure that she is on the same page and is a willing candidate. Don’t pounce on her or surprise her even with a light smack on the cheek. Make sure that she knows you are about to kiss her to avoid any embarrassing or traumatic situations.
#1 She stays put even after she says goodbye. You’ve seen this a thousand times in romantic movies. I’m here to tell you that it is a legitimate green light for you to lean in and sweep your date off with an amazing kiss.
#2 She tilts her head to the side while making eye contact. If she doesn’t show any signs of ending the night, you can rest assured that she’s placing her lips in a prime position for a good night kiss. Don’t attack her with a wet, sloppy make-out session. Give her a light and feathery kiss in case she wasn’t really expecting it at all.
#3 She doesn’tget out of the car immediately after you arrive at her place. It’s the same principle with the first item. She could be waiting for you to say something more, but she could also be waiting for you to try and kiss her before she leaves. [Read: 50 cute things to say to a girl before kissing her]
#4 She leans in towards you. It may seem like she’s going to make the move and kiss you first, but it’s more likely that she’s just bridging the gap between the two of you. You have to make the final move because she’s just setting up the stage for you.
#5 She lets you hold her hand or drape your arm around her. It’s not a definitive green light, but it does give you room to explain that you felt close enough to your date to try to kiss her. [Read: Touching techniques to get her ready to kiss you]
#6 She says you can. There’s no harm in asking and it’s your safest bet in order to avoid experiencing any of the scenarios mentioned at the beginning of the article. Some girls even find it cute and give you points for having enough respect to ask.
Remember that these are just signs that she MIGHT be willing to kiss you. If she backs away when you try to, don’t push it further. Knowing when you can kiss a girl and if you are allowed to kiss her are two very different things.
If she shows any signs that she does not want to be kissed, respect her decision not to engage in any physical intimacy. She has her reasons and you should be well aware that forcing yourself on her is very disrespectful, not to mention illegal.
Just because it isn’t about sex doesn’t mean it’s not important to the people involved. A kiss is something shared by two people who care about each other or who are very attracted to each other. It will happen if it’s meant to happen.