Flirting and touching a girl is all part of the grand plan of impressing her and making her like you. But you can’t go around just touching a girl because you feel like it! It’s important to learn how to touch a girl correctly, so she feels comfortable and you’re not overstepping her boundaries.
Of course, girls can be pretty difficult to turn on if you have no idea what you’re doing. Learning how to turn a girl on with your touch is probably the most valuable thing you can do if you want to make a certain woman yours. It takes more than just smooth talking to get the job done.
A touch can make or break your chances with a girl. You want to make sure you do it right. [Read: 15 things to do on a first date to make your date to make your date fall for you]
If you’re having a hard time turning girls on, even your own partner, you’re probably guilty of a few things. A lot of guys think grabbing at a girl in the “right” places is going to turn her on. That’s just not how it works.
And touching women without their permission is an even bigger turn-off. You may have tried to touch a girl’s waist while in a bar and didn’t get very far. In fact, she probably ran away. Fast. These things don’t work. You have to touch women in the right ways to turn them on.
To help you out, we’re going to give you a list of all the tips you need to know. Then, to improve your chances even more, we’re going to give you a step by step process you simply need to follow. [Read: 25 biggest dating turn offs for women]
As you read through these points, bear in mind that all women are different and will respond differently to certain touches. Get to know the girl a little bit first and try a variety of touches before finding which works best for her.
Don’t go around grabbing at women and being rough with your touches. Yes, many women like roughness in the bedroom, but you’re not there yet.
Slow it down and start out gentle. This is also much less alarming and sultrier than a grabby, rough hand. [Read: 22 subtle moves to seduce a girl and make her desire you sexually]
You can’t go around touching women without their permission. That’s creepy and will make her extremely uncomfortable. If she’s flirting with you, leaning in close, and also touching you, that means she’s comfortable with touches.
Never just assume.
We know this might seem a little contradictory, but it’s not. If you go right for the naughty touching, it won’t turn her on. If anything, it’ll put her on her guard – especially if you don’t know her well.
So avoid touching her in sexual ways. Instead, use friendly touches that can seem platonic. Touch the outside of her arm or her shoulder but avoid her butt, waist, and hip area until you know her much better. [Read: 15 of the most memorable things to do on a first date]
When you’re touching a woman, start out very gentle and then increase the pressure slightly before letting up again. This change in sensation will take her attention to your hands.
She’ll be more in tune with your touches and feel them a little more than she would if you kept the same amount of pressure the entire time.
Many men don’t realize just how sensitive a woman’s shoulders are. And it’s not just about the sensation, either. Someone who’s touching your shoulder has to be very close.
It’s also a bit more intimate than touching her arm because it’s closer to her face. This touch is great for determining if she’s okay with you touching her. If she doesn’t pull away when you touch her shoulder, it’s a good sign.
Women notice right away if a man is touching her waist. It’s a very intimate touch that’s also very gentlemanly. You can be respectful while also turning her on this way.
When she’s walking through a doorway, simply guide her by touching the small of her back. Then, just let your hand linger there for a few minutes so she can sense your touch in this intimate area. [Read: 41 rules to be a gentleman all girls would dream of dating]
No matter where you touch, let it linger just a little bit longer than feels comfortable. You want to make sure she feels it, right? Then you have to give her a chance to notice it.
It also increases the sexual tension between the two of you. This works especially well if you make eye contact with her just before removing your hand.
If you really want to turn a girl on and increase the sexual tension between the two of you, brush her hair behind her shoulder. Only do this if you think she’s comfortable enough.
When you do this, step away after and look at her. Then smile. It’s a simple trick, but it’ll allow her to see your interest and the level of intimacy can thicken the air with sexual tension. [Read: 5 different types of flirting and how to pick one that works for you]
If you’re touching her in some way, give a quick squeeze before removing your hand. This makes your touch linger. That pressure right before you stop touching her will also serve as a reminder that you were actually touching her in the first place. She’ll want your touch back after this.
This has to be done so it’s just enough to almost tickle her. You don’t want her throwing herself into fits of laughter because it tickles too much. That can often ruin the mood.
Simply allow your fingers to trail lightly along her skin. It increases sensitivity, and that’s what you want in order to turn her on. [Read: How to woo a girl and make her fall for you]
Obviously, this works best if you’re in a relationship with this woman, but it’s still great to do. Ask her where she wants to be touched. You never know where might be a sensitive erogenous zone for her.
Whether this is with your lips or fingers is up to you. Clearly, she has to be comfortable with you in order to do this, but if she is, it’s a sure place to touch her.
The neck is an erogenous zone in general. Make your touch here very gentle, and you’ll turn her on. [Read: The perfect neck kisses and what makes the nape such a sexy erogenous zone]
But don’t go any higher. Just let your hand rest there for a few seconds, give it a little squeeze, and then move your hand away. It’s intimate enough to turn her on but not so much that you’ll make her uncomfortable. This spot is great for gauging her interest.
Sometimes rubbing a spot on a girl can be more creepy than sexy, but there is a way to do it. Once you touch her, just let your hand move back and forth. Don’t apply pressure.
This type of touch will increase her sensitivity and allow you to connect in a respectfully intimate way. [Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]
If she can tell you’re trying to get with her by touching her, the game is over. You lose. The goal here is to make your touches subtle enough, so she has no idea you’re trying to seduce her.
Keep them simple, and don’t act like they’re a huge deal.
Touching a girl or flirting with her should come effortlessly when you’re out with her, be it on a first date or the tenth. You may be a smooth guy who knows his moves but moving too fast at the wrong point could ruin all your hard work.
The best way to warm a girl up to your touch on a first date is by using a two-part strategy. [Read: How to get a girl to like you]
Of course, you can skip one part if you want to. But using the two-part date approach can help you build the momentum for something more than just a touch.
And don’t all men love happy surprises at the end of a date?!
Plan a dinner date, and follow it up with a walk or another stop for dessert. That gives you enough time to warm her up and take a few chances without ever seeming desperate. [Read: 16 casual first date ideas that are perfect for a dreamy fun date]
Choosing a date restaurant isn’t just about good food. Decide on a restaurant where you can sit next to her, at a right angle. Avoid restaurants where you have to sit facing each other unless you have no choice.
A romantic setting with small cozy tables is just perfect for a date. It can help you touch her easily, and get the right buzz going. Learning to pick a good date restaurant that gets both of you in a romantic mood and spares plenty of time in between each course is half the job done. [Read: How to pick a date restaurant]
Have a pleasant conversation, and don’t try thinking of ways to touch her just yet. Instead, just lean in occasionally and get closer to her while talking about something. At times, soften your tone to a whisper so she’s forced to come closer to hear you.
As you get the conversation going, if she leans in towards you or you find her smiling back a lot, you’re ready for the next step. [Read: How to be a good date all the time]
There’s nothing better than happy, flirty conversations to ensure that she has a great time with you. In the middle of the conversation, place your hand on the table “absentmindedly.” Does she reciprocate your move now and then by placing her own hand on the table?
Placing your hand on the table lets her know that you’re reaching out to her. If she does the same, she’s obviously excited for a hopeful touch too! [Read: 18 happy signs your date likes you and wants to see you again ASAP]
Discreet touches can be a huge sexual turn on if it’s done the right way. Slide your feet towards her very slowly until you almost touch her feet. Discreetly try to get as close to her as possible without actually touching her or making her feel awkward.
And if your foot is able to make the slightest of contact with her feet, stop squirming and see if she takes her foot back. The smallest of body contact is always more exciting than an obvious move.
Take your time and never rush through any of the steps. Remember, the more discreet you keep the touches and grazes, the more you’ll build the sexual tension. [Read: Tips on using the sneaky flirty touch]
Once you’re halfway through the date and find that she’s enjoying your touches and the happy conversations, touch her now and then. Place your hands on her palm while emphasizing a point or complimenting her.
It makes everything about the date so much more genuine and intimate.
Corny lines always work, even if it’s rather obvious.
Tell her you know how to read palms, and reach out for her hand. Or, tell her she has nice earrings, and reach out to delicately touch her ears. Tell her she has a nice ring… or a bracelet.
Find anything on her that you can compliment and use the excuse to touch her. Just stay away from her girly parts though! [Read: How to compliment a girl the nice way]
Just because you have an excuse to touch her doesn’t mean you should constantly touch her. Touch her a few times on the date, but don’t ever overdo it, especially if she’s not reciprocating your move. Build the sexual tension with little discreet touches, and it’ll do all the magic.
And always remember this. Touch her a few times, she’ll crave for your touch. Touch her too often, and she’ll think you’re a creepy pervert. [Read: Healthy relationship boundaries – How to talk about them and set them]
If you’ve built enough chemistry at the restaurant, she’ll be eager to spend a little more time with you. Take a walk with her or plan a drive to another restaurant for dessert.
You may have worked your magic at the restaurant, but there’s no way you can get touchy feely with her even if you’ve aroused her enough to want to kiss you right there.
You need an excuse to find a quiet spot for some touching time. And that’s where a walk or a trip back to the car to drive to another restaurant can make all the difference.
As you walk out of the restaurant, allow her to lead ahead. And while you’re standing by her side, place your hand on her back. It’s what a gentleman does, and hey, you’ve got a great excuse to actually touch her too! [Read: Foodie dates – 15 trendy dinner ideas for new couples]
After stepping out of the restaurant, it’s time to push your luck again. As you walk down to another restaurant or to your car, come closer to her, and somewhere in the middle of a conversation, place your hand around her waist without making it seem like a big deal.
If she snuggles closer to you – two thumbs up!
If she stiffens up or acts awkwardly, take your hand off her slowly like you didn’t realize that something awkward just happened. Acknowledging an awkward moment only makes things more awkward.
But if you’ve worked on the sexual attraction in the restaurant, it’s unlikely she’ll move away from you! [Read: 25 common date venues guys pick and reasons behind it]
As you’re walking down the street, try to find a lonely path that’s not too crowded. If you’re walking back to your car, that’s just perfect because there’s nothing more private than a car on a first date.
As you get into the car, hold her palms or touch her shoulder, and tell her you’re having a great time. Use the excuse of touching her shoulder to compliment her again, either about her soft skin or the smooth fabric of her dress.
Tell her how soft it feels, but never rush this, because you really need to make her feel comfortable with your touch. [Read: The best things to talk about on a first date]
Don’t start your car just yet. Talk to her. And talk softly in your deep, manly voice!
Tell her about how wonderful a time you’re having with her, and all the other nice things in the world. Stall the moment and build the romance.
Gently stroke her cheek once and rest your hand there as you tell her you’re really happy to have met her. Do it only if you feel like the moment’s right.
If she reciprocates by moving closer or touching you back, what are you waiting for? Kiss her cheek or go closer and wait for a kiss. [Read: First date kiss gone bad story]
On the other hand, if she blushes and doesn’t really do anything back after you touch her cheek, gently take your hand away and start the car. It’s time for dessert and a second round of warming her up all over again.
It doesn’t matter if she reciprocates after dinner or after dessert. You’d be able to warm her up and ensure that you build the romantic connection anyways. But always remember to never overdo your flirty touches, especially if she doesn’t reciprocate your moves. [Read: The 12 rules of attraction as explained by science]
Learning how to touch a girl isn’t hard and by following the step by step guide and tips we’ve given you, you won’t be able to get it wrong! But, remember to always watch her body language and follow her cues. [Read: How to tough a girl’s breasts for the first time and feel her up after a date]
If she’s uncomfortable, back off and don’t push it. Remember, making her feel comfortable is the most important thing here.
[Read: 22 second date tips and rules to get to know each other and fall harder]
Understanding how to touch a girl and build the sexual tension at the same time can be a breeze if you play it safe and slow. But always wait for her to reciprocate before making the next move.
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