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12 Real Signs of True Love in a Relationship

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True love is the true definition of a perfect romance. But it’s not easy to find. Do you see these 12 signs of true love in your own relationship? By Elizabeth Arthur

signs of true love

True love isn’t felt in a heartbeat or in a second glance.

True love takes time to take shape.

And contrary to popular belief, love at first sight isn’t really love at all.

In fact, love at first sight is nothing but an infatuation.

It’s a strong surge of romantic and sexual emotions that overwhelm you.

Before you wonder what true love is all about and what the signs of true love really are, you need to understand that it’s very important to take things slow in a relationship if you want to ensure its success.

[Read: 10 reasons why saying 'I love you' too soon sucks]

When you first start dating someone or fall for someone at first sight, what you experience isn’t love.

As much as you feel like you’re head over heels in love, you really aren’t.

You’re just experiencing the first stage of love, a small part in the stages of love known as the infatuation stage.

[Read: The 9 stages of love all couples go through]

What is true love then?

True love, ironically, can’t be defined.

It’s the kind of love many of us chase after, but few truly find or realize it until it’s too late. So what is true love really?

True love is the kind of love and affection you have for someone that isn’t bound by the laws of human behavior. Human behavior is simple to understand. When someone hurts you, you get angry with them. When someone gets lucky or gets a better job, you get jealous of them. And when someone shatters your ego or humiliates you, you want your revenge. This is human behavior, because these traits are engrained within us.

But when you experience true love with someone, your primal instincts and behavior change only towards this person. True love transcends typical human behavior. It makes you a better human being towards a special someone. [Read: A true story of unconditional love]

When does one experience true love?

True love takes time to bloom. What you experience in the first year or so of a relationship is infatuation and sexual attraction.

As the bursts of infatuation start to fade with the first few arguments and the first few misunderstandings, that’s when love starts to enter the picture. And this is where most couples start to drift away emotionally, or even end up breaking up because of incompatibilities.

If you’re in a relationship where both of you truly understand each other and feel compatible with each other, and most importantly, love each other, chances are, you’re experiencing true love already. [Read: 50 questions to test your compatibility in the relationship]

Experiencing true love in your life

Is true love a once in a lifetime experience? Not really. You can experience them many times over, and with many people at the same time. You can experience true love with your spouse or your lover, your children and any other person you’re attached to in your life.

But true love too, can fade with time. For most of us, our first love is the first time we would have experienced the purest form of true love. We aren’t afraid to let this special someone into our heart and we aren’t afraid to experience heartbreak because we still don’t know what heartbreak feels like. We’re fearless in love and we love passionately with all our heart. [Read: How to know if you're in love in the infatuation stage]

But when the first romance dies, the true love we had for our first partner too eventually fades, even if it takes years and several new relationships to overcome. And as we enter more relationships, most of us split into two groups. One that believes in true romantic love and the other group that convinces itself that true love doesn’t exist. The kind of relationships you’ve had in your lifetime can play a big part in your understanding of, and expectations from, true love.

And if you’re wondering whether true love and romantic love are the same, it really isn’t, even though we almost always associate true love with romantic love. True love is love in its purest form, while romantic love needs sexual attraction to stay alive. [Read: 25 rules you need to know to have a perfect relationship]

True love can’t be forced

True love has to be experienced naturally and wholeheartedly. You can’t fake true love no matter how hard you try. If a couple fails to pass the test of compatibility in their infatuation stage, it’s pretty hard for both of them to ever experience true love.

On the other hand, if both partners can understand each other and relate to each other, they’ll start to love each other’s company and start to become inseparable. And eventually, this bond will turn into a pure and selfless love that we call true love. [Read: How to stay in love forever and keep love alive in your romance]

The 12 signs of true love in a perfect romance

True love may be hard to define, but the signs to read true love can be clearly seen in every perfect loving relationship.

If you’re in a relationship and want to know if you’re experiencing the purest form of love, use these 12 signs of true love to find out for yourself.

#1 Give and take in love. You give to the relationship wholeheartedly, without any desire or expectations of getting something back in return from your partner to justify your actions.

#2 Pure happiness. Just watching this special person smile or laugh out loud fills you with intense happiness, even if you’re suffering or having a hard day.

#3 Pain and anger. You get terribly hurt when your lover upsets you, but their actions never anger you. You may get annoyed or frustrated now and then momentarily, but you just can’t stay mad at them for long because staying mad or giving them the silent treatment hurts you more. [Read: The effective way to give someone the silent treatment in a relationship]

#4 Sacrifices. You make sacrifices for their happiness or wellbeing, even if they may never realize it.

#5 The right effort. You go to great lengths and make an effort to improve the relationship, and play a conscious part in trying to please your partner and make them feel loved and special.

#6 You can’t ever hurt them. When you’re truly in love with someone, you can’t even imagine hurting them, emotionally or physically. Payback is a strong human instinct, but true love makes you completely selfless. [Read: 15 subtle and yet shocking signs of a controlling partner]

#7 You keep your promises. When you make a promise to them, you stick to your word even if this person will never find out if you broke their promise. When you experience true love, your moral conscience becomes very strong when it comes to this one special person.

#8 We. In a perfect relationship, it’s good to have your own space to grow as individuals. But at the same time, if you truly love your partner, you’d see them as a part of your life. When you think of your future, you can’t help but see them by your side. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and come closer]

#9 You share their burden. And you do that even if you don’t really have to. You can’t bear to see this special someone suffering. If they’re dealing with some issue, you’re always willing to offer them a helping hand even when you have your own difficulties to look into.

#10 Pride and jealousy. You beam with pride when they achieve something, even if it’s the same thing you failed at. You may get jealous of a friend who outdid you, but when you love someone, jealousy never enters the picture.

#11 Suffering. You’d be willing to suffer, just to see them happy.

#12 Their perspective. Everything you do, you keep your lover in mind and think from their perspective, be it about planning a surprise party or hanging out with your own friends after work. You don’t ever want to hurt your lover, so you always think from their point of view before making any decision that involves them in any way.

Are you experiencing true love?

If you’re in a relationship and aren’t experiencing these true love signs, don’t fret. Perhaps, your relationship hasn’t reached the state of emotional maturity that surpasses physical attraction or the stage of infatuation.

Take your time and test the waters. You can’t fall in love with someone by forcing yourself into the relationship. If it’s not working out, try to understand each other better. And if nothing you do can bring happiness back into love, perhaps both of you would be better off dating other people. [Read: 25 things to talk about to create a truly happy relationship]

But at the same time, if both of you are already happy in the relationship, don’t try to change anything about it. Sometimes, selfless and unconditional love takes time to materialize. Remember, you can’t push yourself into the next stage in love unless both of you are ready for it.

As long as your lover and you are happy and understand each other, you’re already experiencing the perfect kind of love!

[Read: 10 types of love you'll experience in your lifetime]

Use these 12 signs of true love to understand what true selfless love really means. And even if you’re not there yet, don’t worry about it. It’s only a matter of time before a happy romance goes the true love way!


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Have your say!
  • Annie Wade
    September 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    I Would Like To Say, You Can Experience True Love, You Just Have To Take Time And Enjoy Each O Company. I Been In. A Relationship For Close To Ten And A half Years.

    We Have Never Disagreed On Any Thing, Never Had To Say We Were Sorry. We Have A Perfect Love For Each Other, We Still Have A Smile On Our Face When We See One Another. True Love

  • rena
    February 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    i like the the point that a true lover follows the partner perspective but the fact remains that sighs of true love depends on the personality involved that a lover does not keep promises or hurt you sometimes does not mean he is not your truelove maybe he or she is too carefree and that something you work on for more details visit

  • S.A
    January 7, 2014 | Permalink |

    I am not in a relationship but I have experienced every single one of these 12 signs for one special person. Now I don’t know what I am supposed to do, I mean am I definitely in love with him? This is confusing. But a nice read :)

  • Hay
    January 21, 2014 | Permalink |

    Overall like this article, though have a couple of things to add:
    1. true love is to have the beloved’s best interest at heart and act accordingly; and
    2. true love is to have God at the centre of the relationship and pray often.

  • Adrian
    January 25, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hey guys :) To Annie, that is just absolutely great to hear, I am so happy for you because I can only imagine how great your relationship must be. I have always believed that being loved by someone is already a great feeling, but being able to love someone truly in this way is the greatest feeling ever. I feel this true love for a certain girl for the past three years. Unfortunately, we are not together, and I don’t think she’ll ever feel this way about me, so it’s like the article says, you suffer just to see that person happy. I know she is happy with the other guy she is with and because I love her, I have to accept that. I would never do anything to hurt her, she is so special to me. The twelve signs listed above are spot on, this is exactly how it is for me when I think about this girl. I just wish we could be together that I could give her this love, it really eats me up inside to know that I will probably never be with her. Reading this article just confirmed it for me, that I indeed truly love her with my whole being. For a long time I thought that I was just convincing myself or looking, hoping for something that didn’t exist between me and her. At least, now I know I was not delusional. I have never before felt like this about someone, and I know with all my heart that I will never ever feel this way about anybody else in the future. I still used to speak to her a year or two ago and when she told me how things were going in her life and how happy she was with her new job, it just gave me such a great feeling inside to know how well things were going with her. We were always good friends, but I kind of knew that she would never see me as more than just a friend. This is what is so heartbreaking for me, and about a year ago I messed it all up because I told her that I secretly loved her all along, and now she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I know that she has someone else in her life, and it’s so hard to accept that, but I do, because I love her too much to disrupt her life. I just want her life to be perfect, and if that’s with someone else then I have to accept that. So, here I sit and suffer in silence, but I don’t care. I also do not seek somebody else for myself, because I could never do that to a girl – knowing I truly love someone else whilst having a relationship with her. I know that I will never love any other girl as much as I love this girl. I just wish it could be different. It is truly just pure hell not to be able to love this person directly, almost like not being allowed to do so.

  • priya sharma
    January 26, 2014 | Permalink |

    I love my best frnd vry much..I wana c him happy alwaz..I cnt stay wthout talkng to him evn if m ngry wth hm or upset..bt he lives in a diffrnt state..we met once nly..in my lyf..we chat through msg n cls nly..I hv a big prblm dat I cnt contrl my physcl flng he knws it vry well.since last 3months we talk vry ltl due to our xams.nw he is lott bg wth hs xam.so we cnt talk proprly.bt m hvng flng lott.so nwadays m shrng my physcl flng wth my a male frnd nly through msg..is my love fr my bestfrnf true??

  • fezeka
    January 26, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’d like to meet a real man for a real nd true relationship

  • Fffffhdgfytg
    April 21, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hay, god has nothing to do with your relationship with someone. Thats dumb. I mean, why the hell would you pray for your relationship with someone to someone whom it doesnt concern? Also, people can be in relationships and have different interests. My girlfriend has an interest in baking and music while i have an interest in parkour and music. I dont see why you would try to get god (if he exists) to make you love each other, when if you already do love each other wouldnt need help to do so. Else it would just suck. You shouldnt need help to love someone from some almighty sexist god (if youre christian (seriously, it says in the bible that women are second to men)).

  • Adrian
    May 2, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hey there. To the person above^^^. I know it looks like the bible says women are second to men, but that’s not true. A man and his woman are like One, once the two form a bond in Love. A “wife” is second to a “husband”, but it must be understood this does not imply anything about the gender. A man can be a “wife” if he desires something that is his master at the same time – e.g. money. A man and woman (e.g. Adam and Eve) were one unit, until they had “knowlegde” and they realised they were “naked”. This is akin to a woman realising she might have shortcomings in a marriage and essentially become the man’s slave, trying her best to impress him and keep him interested in her. She is then a “wife” to her “husband”. She gives him power over her and he knows it. At this point normally true love no longer exists in the relationship unfortunately.

  • JoJo
    May 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    I agree with all the things up there. It’s interesting to read that you can’t force. No you can’t. Everything just fell into place- at least in my perspective. It has left me confused but I relate to everything in this article.
    I fell hopelessly and indeed is my true love. It’s too bad he doesn’t know it and if he does we can’t do anything about it.

  • Nanas
    June 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hey Adrian you talk the truth man, the feeling is mutual dear I can say I know how feel but everything will pass you know with GOD everything is possible it shall come to an end dear don’t worry soon you will forget about everything. But hey right am inloooove with the great man to me he’s a blessing in disguise and I always thank GOD for bringing him into my life. Trust me dear you will be fine.

  • fowokemi
    June 19, 2014 | Permalink |

    I really love this writeup believing I will find a man to really love in tye nearest future…and most importantly, someone who will love me more. one sided love is the worst feeling ever as described by adrian…and I never wish that for my enemy.,so Adrian, wake up dear.,Love is also a decision, change your mindset and believe you can love another person better, you will find out you will and you will enjoy a fulfilled relationship. so, wakeup dearie’ its only one life, you also need to enjoy- God helping you.

  • yvonne
    September 15, 2014 | Permalink |

    don’t trust malaysia man all is lie…………………………

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