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14 Valid Reasons to Break Up with Someone

If you want out, just get out. But if you need to give your soon-to-be-ex a reason for your departure, here are some suggestions.

Many things contribute to the demise of a relationship. Reasons can range from outright hatred towards a partner to less drastic reasons such as personal differences. Though it’s common to think that being dumped is difficult, naming reasons for leaving someone can oftentimes be just as difficult.

It’s true that you can just pack up and leave without a word of goodbye, but that’s not exactly the best way to end things with someone whom you shared some great moments with. Give your soon-to-be-ex a little dignity and give them the reason you’re choosing to walk away.

Reasons to end a relationship

Everyone has different reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship with someone. But if you’re looking for valid, straightforward and common reasons for leaving your partner, here are the most reasonable grounds for breaking up with someone.

#1 Infidelity. Whether it’s you or your partner who has been unfaithful, the mere fact that there’s a third party involved can be enough to instigate a breakup. If your partner has cheated on you, and you can’t find it in your heart to forgive them or to let go of a grudge, then this can be reason enough to end things.

On the other hand, if you were the one who was unfaithful, you can say that you no longer believe that your relationship will work because of what you did. Or you can also say that you want to be with the person whom you cheated on your partner with. [Read: 8 things you need to do before forgiving a cheater]

#2 Abuse. No one should be subjected to abuse of any kind, especially if it’s brought about by a person whom you thought you could trust. If you’ve undergone emotional, physical or sexual abuse because of your partner, that’s a very good reason to leave the relationship and look for someone who actually cares about your wellbeing. [Read: 21 signs of emotional abuse you may not notice]

#3 Your mind wanders to someone else. This isn’t exactly infidelity, but it can be the first step towards unfaithfulness. Is your mind occupied by someone else? Are you romantically interested in someone else other than your partner? Do you fantasize about being with this other person? If that’s the case, do your partner a courtesy by ending things, before you pursue a relationship with someone else.

#6 You think of how much better things can be without your partner. There will be times in your relationship when you’ll wish you were single. This is fine, especially if you’re going through a rough patch.

However, if you constantly think that your life would have been much better without your current partner, then this would only breed contempt and a series of regrets. If you truly think that life would be much better without your partner, break it off and find out for yourself.

#7 You fight too often. Couples can fight over the littlest things and make up in the drop of a hat. But if your fights always escalate to the point that it takes up a huge bulk of your relationship, then you must be less in love and more at war.

Constant fighting shows just how different your viewpoints are. It can also show that you’re not as understanding of each other’s point of view. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who will always disagree with you?

#8 You haven’t been genuinely happy in a while. Relationships go through ruts from time to time, and it takes courage and persistence to work through it until things get better. However, there’s a huge difference between being in a rough patch and living in it.

If you’re no longer happy, that’s a perfectly good excuse to leave. Your partner may think you’re just in the relationship when things are fine and dandy, but if you know within yourself that you can’t be happy in the relationship, just say so, and walk away. [Read: 10 ways to tell your partner you’re unhappy]

#9 You’re only in the relationship to avoid being single. This is a common reason for people who are stuck in a rebound relationship. Honestly, is being single really so bad? You were single for a handful of years before you started dating, and you were fine then, right?

Being in a relationship doesn’t have to be an addictive drug. It’s supposed to bring out the best in two people so that they can work on building a future together. But if you’re just in the relationship to have someone to sleep with or someone to take care of you, then your relationship may just be doomed to fail. It’s better to come to terms with this now, and since you’re about to break up, might as well break the news to your partner, as well.

#10 You don’t see a future with your partner. At the start, you may have common interests like sports, movies, music and common friends. This is actually a great foundation for a relationship. However, common interest shouldn’t be the sole reason your relationship is still working. You have to plan ahead and envision what your life will be like in a few years.

Oftentimes, it’s attraction and infatuation that blinds people and keeps them from seeing that their relationship is doomed to fail. For instance, two people may be head over heels in love, but one of them is tied to their career and the other wants to have kids ASAP. If you’re in this kind of relationship, changing your partner’s mind may be a long shot. If you don’t think you’re up for that, break it off and move on. [Read: 7 signs you’re trapped in a troubled relationship]

#11 You’re taking up the slack. Are you tired of always being the one who’s putting in the effort to make your relationship work? You do know that it takes two to tango, right? Sometimes, people put in a disproportionate amount of work to make a relationship last, but is it really worth it? When you put in so much work in your relationship and your partner doesn’t bother to lift a finger to reciprocate, then this can be a good enough reason to leave.

#12 You feel like you’re just bringing each other down. Strangely enough, this is common in many toxic relationships. For example, when one partner is an alcoholic and the other also turns into an alcoholic, this unhealthy lifestyle can spiral into a vicious cycle. And it doesn’t always have to be as drastic as alcoholism.

It can be unhealthy work-related behavior, lack of motivation or just downright laziness. Evaluate your relationship and your lifestyle choices. If your lifestyle is suffering because of a toxic person in your life, it’s time to sever the cord and move to greener pastures.

#13 You don’t want to fix things anymore. When the stress of keeping your relationship afloat takes its toll on you, it’s easy to just give it all up. This can already be a valid reason to break up with someone, because if you’re no longer willing to put in any energy to make it work, no miracle will do it for you. Our advice is to just be honest with your partner and let bygones be bygones.

#14 “No reason to stay is a good reason to go.” Ask yourself why you’re still in a relationship with your partner. Do your answers sound like you’re just settling for the sake of being with someone? Are your answers, “Because I’ve always been with him” or “Because I’m used to her” or just plain “I have no idea?” If you can’t give yourself a reason that you’re willing to fight for or work on, then that’s reason enough to break up with someone.

[Read: How to break up with someone you still love]

Not all relationships should be centered on passion, romance, and cheesiness. But when those things are gone, there should still be reasons for you to want to stay. Beneath all the trappings of what a relationship looks like, there should be genuine love, respect, and trust. If these things are gone or you’re not sure if they’re still there, you’ve got your reason to leave.

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