“I miss you so much.” “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Yeah, we’ve all heard those lines before. Now, I don’t want to be the Debbie Downer, but I’ve met many guys who used that line without actually meaning it. And you know, I’ve said “I miss you” to people that I don’t necessarily miss. What can I say, people are dicks. And really, how do you know it’s real when a guy says he misses you?
But, this isn’t about the things you’ve said in the past. That’s over and done. Now, focus only on the present. Sure, he tells you he misses you, but there are ways to see if he’s really just full of crap or not. No one wants to be heartbroken. So, when a guy says he misses you, make sure you’re not getting sucked into his games.
[Read: Is he leading you on? 16 signs he’s just playing you for fun and doesn’t care]
So before we get to the signs to know if a guy actually misses you or he’s just faking it, let’s talk about this for a moment. So you’re spending a lazy evening by yourself, and you get a call or a text, and the guy on the other end tells you he’s missing you.
Boom, it feels great to hear it, your heart melts just a bit, and now you’re wondering what he really means. And, of course, does he even mean it at all?
Let’s look at the positive side here. When a guy says he misses you, it probably means just that. Maybe he realizes just how much he likes you, and how much he enjoys spending time with you. Now that you aren’t by his side, he misses you and wishes he could see you.
Sometimes, we miss people we’re falling in love with. And sometimes, we miss people after we spend time with someone. Maybe you two hung out the earlier day, and he’s reminiscing about it. Or if you two are just in the talking stage or dating casually, it could even be a sign that he wants to take it one step further into exclusive territory.
On the other hand, and the negative note, it could only mean one thing – he wants you to think he’s missing you so you can like him more. And why is that? Maybe he wants someone to hook up with. Or maybe he’s playing you and wants you to fall for him first!
Check out the differences between the talking stage vs the dating stage to know exactly where you are, and how you can progress to the next stage.
You could miss someone and not say it at all, right? So why would someone want to tell you that they miss you? Does he think you’d be happy to know that he misses you? Chances are, that’s why he’s tell you that.
When you like someone, you want them to miss you when you aren’t around. Missing someone is a sign that you like them, probably a lot. So if a guy tells you he misses you, he wants you to know that he thinks of you fondly, and is remembering you. And chances are, he’s hoping you feel the same way towards him.
[Read: When does a man miss you? The art of making a guy crave for you]
Tell him exactly what you feel, well, that is, if you’re missing him too! If you miss a guy and he texts you that he misses you, he’d be overjoyed to know you feel the same way too. And isn’t that how relationships grow? You spend time together, you miss each other when you’re apart. And then one of you shares the “I-miss-you” text and the other responds in kind. You start meeting more often. And like turns to love. And love blooms!
But if you don’t really miss the guy, or if it’s just a friend, of if it’s a guy who has a crush on you, or if for any other reason at all, you don’t feel the same way back, that’s just fine. You don’t have to tell a guy you miss him when you don’t, just because he said it.
If you don’t miss him, or you don’t want to lead him on, just respond back with a smiley face emoji. Or ignore that text altogether and just ask him something or continue the conversation like you didn’t read that text at all. It’s the easiest, and most stress-free way to respond when you don’t miss the guy back. If he’s wise enough, he’ll get the hint!
[Read: How to let a guy down easy – in person or over text]
Okay, so now we go on to decoding the honest truth. Does he really miss you or is he just saying it because that’s what you want to hear? There are two sides here, signs he means it when he says he misses you, and the obvious signs he’s faking it.
Take a look at both of them, and by the time you’re done, you’ll know for sure if he really means it, every single time you hear a guy say he misses you!
It feels nice to hear it, but when a guy says he misses you, does he actually? Here are the signs you need to look out for, to know for sure if he means what he says! If this guy is doing any of these things, and telling you he misses you, for sure, this guy IS really missing you and not faking it!
If a guy constantly tells you he misses you, he may be genuine, but it’s not coming across as that. If someone really misses you, they’re not going to tell you that 100 times a day.
To tell someone you miss them, it’s emotional. If it’s genuine, they’re not going to cheapen their feelings by repeating it all the time. [Read: 15 ways to tell if someone likes you without asking them]
Even if you two have nothing to talk about, he still writes you, “what’s up.” I mean, is that really necessary? Of course not, but the guy misses you and wants to keep the conversation going. He’ll probably ask you some non-important question or talk about the weather, but he’s trying to keep the connection.
If he’s Skyping, Whatsapping, or FaceTiming you, he wants to see you. Sure, you can text or voice message, but going from that to a video call shows that he wants to see you. He misses your face, he misses your smile and your laugh. He can’t help it that he loves your face. I wouldn’t FaceTime a guy if he was just a friend—what’s the point? [Read: 17 signs he likes you as more than a friend and wants to ask you out]
He likes your statuses and photos or maybe he doesn’t, but you see him creeping on your Snapchat and Instagram stories. Even if he’s not in the position to like your posts, he’s following what you’re doing. We all do this when we miss someone. We want to know what they’re doing and who they’re seeing. [Read: Is he attracted to you? 16 giveaways to watch out for]
When a guy misses you, he wants to see you. In fact, he talks about wanting to see you all the time. Now, this is a good sign, however, there have been so many men that have told me that they’re going to come to see me and nothing ever happened. So, when a guy says he misses you, and backs it up with visible effort to try and meet you, that means something.
Okay, so talking about it is sweet, but making the effort to come and see you even if you’re far away is the real deal. It’s a big step actually. It really shows that what he feels is true. Many guys talk, but most don’t walk the talk.
When you’re sad, the odds are you’re less likely to go out and socialize. You just want to stay home and watch movies. Maybe you’ve noticed that he hasn’t gone out much and that he’s pulling away from his friends. Why is this?He misses you and he’s sad that he’s not with you. [Read: 16 signs a guy really likes you but is scared and unsure what to do]
We’ve all had the drunken phone calls. Why else would he be calling you at 2:00 am? Okay, well, you should know that this could also be a booty call, but if his drunken texts and calls comprise of him blurting out, “I miss you, I love you,” then he’s probably not lying.
Remember, a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. But, make sure that what he says drunk gets a sober confirmation. [Read: 14 surefire signs a guy thinks you’re smoking hot!]
So, you went out last night and now there’s a picture on Facebook with you and a group of guys. He probably likes the photo, but it’s not because you look hot. He’s liking it out of jealously. He doesn’t want you to be with other guys, flirting with them, and potentially hooking up. That’s not what he wants, he wants you.
No, not the naked ones. The ones where you’re wrapped in a blanket, looking like a chipmunk, or a photo of you eating breakfast. He wants to see you as you are, natural. This makes him remember those moments he was around you. These photos fuel his imagination of being with you.
Maybe you have been chatting. Then, all of a sudden, he’s annoyed or angry at you for reasons you’re unsure of. Listen, there’s a reason why he’s angry. Perhaps he just realized he still has feelings for you, and he wishes he could be next to you. I know, it’s weird, but he’s angry because he misses you. [Read: Obsessive love: 15 ways to tell if it’s real or unhealthy]
Maybe on his Facebook he’s been posting songs that you two would listen to or liking photos from a couple years ago. He’s definitely going down memory lane, and he’s really missing you.
I mean, there’s no other reason he’d sit at your computer going through photos from when he had bleached blonde hair, and you had braces.
This is a normal reaction for anyone. Remember those times where you’ve run into a friend from high school? You’re ecstatic. However, since you two had an intimate relationship, those feelings will probably be amped. He misses you and when he sees you, every emotion and memory comes flooding back to him. He can’t stop smiling and looking at you, he missed you. [Read: Does he miss me? 12 clear signs he stills thinks about you often]
He’s not going to shine a lamp in your face and bring out his notepad, but he is going to casually ask you about your personal life. Are you dating anyone, etc.? If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t ask. But he wants to know your situation, see if there’s an opportunity for him to slip back into your life.
[Read: How to tell if a guy likes you: The complete guide to decode guys]
Sometimes, a guy says he misses you because that’s what you want to hear. Or maybe he thinks saying that enough number of times will give him a ticket into your pants! Be wary of these signs, and if a guy says he misses you, while exhibiting any of these signs here, take a step back. In fact, take many steps back and walk away from him for good!
Does he actually pay attention to you? Does he remember the small details about you? If a guy actually misses you, he can’t stop thinking of you, and that means he remembers small details you shared with him. If you told him you’re watching a movie, or that you spent last Sunday with your friends, does he bring that up? If a guy says he misses you, but pays no attention to what’s happening in your life, he clearly doesn’t miss you!
When a guy says he misses you, he’s not going to be ignoring your texts! Okay, maybe once in a rare while when he’s actually busy and isn’t carrying his phone. But if a guy has real feelings for you, he’ll always be available at a moment’s notice to reply to you. [Read: How guys text when they like you – 15 things they do differently]
If a guy really likes you, he’s going to start missing you even before you say goodbye. It’s the truth! Once he does spend time with you, does this guy actually talk about making plans to catch up with you again? Or is he lying in bed and scrolling through social media, without a care in the world?
Does he miss you only at night? Booty call alert! You can’t choose to miss people only at specific times of the day. If a guy texts you saying he misses you only late at night, or says he wants to catch up with you right away, chances are, you’re the sex toy he doesn’t have at home. [Read: 15 signs he just wants sex and is only using you for his pleasure]
When a guy misses you, he values you. He wants to spend more time with you. But if he’s happy dating casually, there’s no way he misses you as much as or as often as he says he does. He probably enjoys the convenience of dating you, and pursuing other girls as well.
If a guy misses you, he talks about you with the people closest to him, and so his friends should know you. If you bump into his friend and he has no idea who you are, or if you’ve never been introduced to anyone yet, chances are, he’s either having a low-key relationship with you or he’s just playing you. [Read: How to tell if you’re in a low key relationship or an affair]
Okay, firstly, no guy is “required” to cancel plans for you. And if you expect him to, you’re bordering on clingy territory instead. BUT when it something’s important, or if you’ve having a bad day, a guy who misses you and likes you will take a rain check with his friends to comfort you. But if a guy’s too busy to meet you because he’s playing video games, and texts you later that he misses you, he’s just a big, fat liar! [Read: 21 signs of a clingy girlfriend and how to avoid turning into one]
Is he a trustworthy and dependable guy? Do you feel safe in his company? Does he have integrity? If you’re talking to a guy, but yet, you don’t trust him enough to believe him or expect him to be there for you in your time of need, that’s your subconscious instinct telling you he’s not serious about you. So does he miss you? Probably not.
Does he get physical and handsy as soon as you meet him at his place, because “he misses you”? Is it the same routine all the time where he says he cares, and that he misses you? But as soon as you meet him, all he wants is to get you in bed? He doesn’t miss you, and he doesn’t care either. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend to keep an eye on]
If a guy finds his phone more fascinating than you when you two are hanging out together, that’s not a good sign at all. How can this guy ever miss you when he doesn’t even want to spend time with you when you’re literally by his side?
A guy who cares, apologizes when he has to. He makes up after a fight, even if he doesn’t think he’s in the wrong. A guy who cares for you wants you to be happy, and if that means waving a peace flag, then sure. But if a guy texts you and tells you he misses you, but never makes up with you, he probably sees you as a place to hoist his flag and nothing more!
When you spend time together, does he pay attention to you and your needs? When you make out, is he focused on pleasuring you or does he just satisfy himself? If you’re with a guy who says he misses you, but never focuses on you when you’re around, he’s probably never missed you at all. He just misses the action you’re giving him. [Read: 23 signs you’re dating an immature prick and a manchild]
So now that you know everything there is to know when a guy says he misses you, remember these signs. They’ll help you today, and in future, if you’re ever confused about a guy’s feelings and sincerity towards you.
When a guy says he misses you, it’s easy to just melt away listening to those words. However, if he’s showing these signs, he actually means it—and that’s what counts.
Want to know more about the way he thinks and his mind? Try these:
What it means when a guy never texts first but always replies
Why is he texting me if he isn’t interested? Here’s 15 real reasons why
25 signs he truly loves you even if he’s never said it out loud
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