When Twilight came out, I was obsessed with wanting a boyfriend like Edward. And while watching that movie, I completely ignored the fact that Edward was showing extreme signs of jealousy in a man. Not to mention obsessiveness. At the age of sixteen, I thought it was super cute.
Flash forward to my first relationship, I realized that’s not what anyone needs in a partner. Now, this doesn’t mean I’ve never felt jealousy or seen it from my partner; I have.
At the end of the day, we’re only human. There are times when the feelings of jealousy are going to arise, but what’s important is how you and your partner handle those feelings.
[Read: How to overcome jealousy and walk away from its destructive power]
13 unhealthy signs of jealousy in a man
There are certain red flags or signs of jealousy in a man you should keep on the lookout for when you’re dating. Of course, you shouldn’t be doing things that would make your partner jealous. For example, flirting in front of him with someone else.
At the same time, if you come home late from work one day, they shouldn’t become jealous and paranoid that you’re cheating on them. Yes, jealousy is going to arise from time-to-time, but what’s important is keeping it in a healthy perspective.
If you’re not sure if this guy is the jealous-type, then it’s time you looked at the signs of jealousy in a man. Pay attention to these red flags.
#1 He’s always around. Since you’ve started to see him, you’ve noticed that you don’t really have any alone time. Everything you do is with him. And there are some times that you just want to be alone, but he’s always around. This is a huge warning sign. Of course, it shows jealousy, but also obsessiveness. You both should have your own alone time with friends and family. [Read: Should I break up with my boyfriend? The signs its time to end it]
#2 He tries to control you. There’s being jealous, and then there’s control. And often, these two can mesh together, creating an unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy jealousy is when they try to control you and not let you live your life. If he’s controlling, it won’t get better.
#3 He wants you all to himself… all the time. I know the experience of feeling wanted is intense and comforting, but there’s a limit. Yes, your partner should want to spend time with you, but he should also want you to spend time with other people as well.
During the honeymoon phase, the hormones are wild, and all you want is each other. But that shouldn’t have a long-term effect. [Read: 22 big early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]
#4 You feel stressed and don’t know why. Since you started seeing him, you can’t explain why you’re feeling stressed. You enjoy spending time with him, and nothing dramatic is happening in your life, but you feel anxiety within you. If you’re feeling stressed, this is something you should pay attention to and find the connection.
#5 He’s emotionally dependent on you. Most people don’t realize how damaging emotional dependency is for a person. If he’s insecure or lacks self-confidence, he’ll try to keep you for himself, regardless if he thinks you’re the right person for him or not. He doesn’t want to be alone and will act as a weight on you. [Read: Emotional dependency and the clearest signs someone’s too dependent on you]
#6 He’s always in contact with you. If you don’t check your Whatsapp within minutes, you see a side of him that’s not very pretty. He’s always contacting you, even when you don’t really have anything to say. By always keeping in contact with you, forcing it upon you, he’s not letting you live your life unless he’s involved in every second of it. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls don’t notice]
#7 He’s all over your social media. We’re all over social media, but this guy goes the extra mile to keep an eye on you. It’s not just about liking your photos or watching your stories, it’s about analyzing your friends list, even reading through comments and coming up with names of people he sees as a threat. You may brush this off, but it’s something to pay attention to.
#8 He always suspects the worst. If you’re fifteen minutes late or you have an argument, he automatically assumes the relationship is over, you’re not interested in him anymore, or that you cheated on him. He’ll search to find a reason to point the finger towards you and blame you for everything. In other words, he doesn’t trust you.
#9 He wants you to act how he feels you should act. When you start to see someone, you should like them because of who they are. But if someone is jealous, they’ll try to change you into someone you’re not. If you feel you cannot be yourself around them without a negative reaction, they’re jealous and lack respect towards you. [Read: A guide to turn a jealous boyfriend into a not-so-jealous one]
#10 He wants to know the details. You’re going for a coffee with your friend, but he wants to know exactly where you’re going. If things change, he wants you to update him immediately. And this happens routinely, even if you’re at work or with your family. This is a serious sign of unhealthy jealousy.
#11 He disapproves of everything you do. When you talk about your hobbies, he automatically knocks them down. He doesn’t like anything, whether it’s the people you hang out with or the activities you enjoy. If he starts to mock the things you enjoy doing and putting them down, it’s a strong sign of jealousy. They’re not interested in what makes you happy.
#12 His jealousy turns into anger. It’s one thing to be jealous, but, most people don’t act on their emotions. They’ll try to process, maybe even talk about it with their partners, and then move on.
But if his jealousy is turning into anger, it’s a serious sign that it could evolve into something possibly physical. We all have jealous moments, but they should never turn into abuse. [Read: These misogynist red flag signs point to a disrespectful boyfriend]
#13 You have to walk on eggshells. In the beginning, the relationship was fine. But you’re noticing that you need to double-check things you want to tell him or you leave out things you’re doing because you know his reaction. It’s not that you’re doing anything bad, but you’re uncertain of his reaction to the smallest of things.
[Read: What is a toxic relationship? Are you in one and how to get out]
We all get jealous, but then there’s unhealthy signs of jealousy in a man. That’s what you don’t want in your partner.
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