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35 Truths to Become Sexually Active in a Safe, Fun Way with No Regrets

Sex is serious business. Sure, it’s fun, but you need to be responsible. Learning how to become sexually active will give you all the information you need. 

how to become sexually active

Here’s the thing; when it comes to sex, almost every animal, including us, has or will have it. Isn’t that amazing? At some point, you’ll learn how to become sexually active. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a year, or in ten years.

Nevertheless, sex is probably in your cards.

But, you want more than just sex. You want to have a real intimate experience with your partner. Now, that’s different. You may be wondering how that’s going to happen.

How are you going to have an amazing sexual experience? Well, it’s not as hard as you think. [Read: 90-day rule – How sex controls men, women, and the way they should date]

What does it mean to be sexually active? And does masturbation count?

To break it down to its most basic form, being sexually active means you’re having actual sex. Masturbation doesn’t count per se, but it is a way of connecting with your own sexuality and learning what you like, so it’s definitely recommended!

When you’re sexually active, it means you need to be aware of issues such as pregnancy and STIs. So, that means being savvy with contraception at all times.

How do you know if you’re ready to become sexually active?

Whether it’s the first time ever, or the first time with a new partner, learning how to become sexually active means knowing you’re doing it for the right reasons.

So, ask yourself these questions first:

1. Am I doing this because I want to or because I feel like I need to in order to make my partner happy?

2. Do I want to be in a committed relationship first, or am I comfortable with having an uncommitted sexual partner?

3. Do I have access to condoms and contraceptives? [Read: Birth control options and what they can do for you]

4. Could I have any regrets afterward?

These questions will help you to explore whether you’re doing this for yourself or you feel pushed into it by your partner, either directly or indirectly.

Remember, you should only ever have sex because you want to, and always be safe with contraceptives. [Read: Just sex? All the reasons why sex can never be just sex]

How to become sexually active and enjoy the experience

Becoming sexually active is all about you and your partner. It’s not thinking about what you’re going to have for dinner or what you need to do at work tomorrow, sex is all about the moment.

If you want to become sexually active, then you need to learn how to appreciate yourself, your partner, and the experience. There’s no need to pressure yourself.

Sao, let’s talk about sex and how to make it happen, baby! [Read: Dishes to get your sex drive to skyrocket]

1. Don’t pressure yourself

You want to be sexually active, we get it. Whether you’ve already had sex or not with your partner, there’s one thing you need to do: relax. We know it’s easier said than done, but the one thing sex doesn’t need is pressure.

There’s enough pressure going on in your life. Intimacy is supposed to be the one thing you enjoy and gives a release. [Read: How to be more sexual and fall in love with the sexier side of you]

2. Do you want to have sex?

If you’ve already had sex, then you can skip this one. But if you haven’t had sex yet, think about whether or not this is something you’re ready for.

Sometimes, we feel we need to have sex, but we’re just not ready. And that’s really okay. This is your life, so do what feels right for you. [Read: First-time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it]

3. Accept yourself

Being naked in front of someone can feel daunting; stripping down in front of someone you like can be overwhelming.

You want to perform amazingly, you want to have a sexy body, and have your partner mesmerized by you. But if you want to enjoy the experience, accept and love yourself first. [Read: How to feel sexy and desirable all the time]

4. Experiment with yourself first

If you want to become sexually active or have more sex, then why not start with yourself? We know it sounds a bit weird, but you should learn about what you like and don’t like.

Experiment with different toys, watch different types of porn, and see what truly arouses you. Once you know yourself, you’ll be able to have better sex. [Read: 37 health benefits of masturbation, bad side effects, and other must-knows]

5. Talk to your partner

Do you have a partner? If so, why not talk to them about your sexual activity? If neither of you has had sex, sit down and discuss it.

Is it something you both want to do? Do you want to wait? If you are having sex and you want more, talk to your partner and let them know how you feel.

6. Work your way up

If you haven’t had sex yet, then you may not need to jump right into being sexually active. Why not work your way up?

You can start off with foreplay and oral sex before intercourse. [Read: How to make sex with a new partner the first time less awkward]

7. Don’t force the moment

You want more sex, right? Naturally, you want more sex, but you can’t force the moment on your partner.

The worst thing you can do is pressure yourself and your partner to do something that isn’t felt in the moment. If you’re not feeling in the mood, then don’t have sex.

8. Find the positions that work for you

You don’t need to learn every position in the Kamasutra. Why don’t you focus on some basic positions, like missionary, cowgirl, and the spoons? Get comfortable with basic positions before exploring further.

These are the most commonly used positions anyways. It’s always good to have a solid base before experimenting. [Read: Sex positions that’ll make you feel like a pro in no time]

9. Listen to your partner

Being sexually active isn’t hard. All you need is a penis or vagina. But that’s not what you want. You want more than just sex; you want a real intimate experience.

So, listen to your partner. Listen to their breathing, facial expressions, and moans. If they’re silent, switch something up. If they’re grabbing the bed and screaming, that’s a good sign.

10. Find your sexual rhythm

In the movies, they always portray people as being hyper-sexually active, but that’s not always the case. Everyone has different sexual levels, and you may not have the same sexual drive as your partner.

This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, it just means you have different sexual drives. Go with your body’s flow. [Read: Dry humping and the virgin’s guide to real orgasms]

11. Always use protection

If you’re having sex, wear protection. We know people’s feelings towards wearing protection or taking contraception, but do you want an unexpected pregnancy? Yeah, we didn’t think so.

So, talk to your partner and decide how you will be safe. Google gonorrhea. You’ll never not wear a condom ever again. [Read: Pulling out is completely safe and other bad sex advice]

12. Talk to your partner afterward

If you’re having sex with someone you trust, after sex, why don’t you talk to them about the experience? How was it for them? What did they like? What do they think could have been done differently?

If you want to improve on your sexual experiences, you’ll need feedback.

13. Disconnect from the gadgets

Yes, we know your phone is almost like another limb, but being attached to it 24/7 won’t help you build the strong connection you need with your partner. You’ll find that you have more time to be sexually active if you spend less time on your phone.

Sex isn’t just about what happens in the bedroom, it’s about the bond you have outside of it too. [Read: The toxic dangers of social media and 19 signs and ways it makes you insecure]

14. Balance your time

You need to spend time together to be able to have sex and build that bond we just talked about, but spending time away from each other is also important.

You need a careful balance that will help you miss each other when you’re gone, and want to ravage each other when you’re together!

15. Incorporate toys

Yes, toys are a real game-changer, as is lube. Talk to your partner and see if you’re both down for introducing toys into the bedroom.

Not only will it add a special extra something to your sex lives, but it will help create that close bond of trust you need.

16. Try aphrodisiacs

There are certain natural things that are thought to make us want sex. We’re talking about things like saffron, pistachio nuts, fenugreek, and ginkgo biloba. Do some research into aphrodisiacs and give them a try! [Read: Aphrodisiacs and food hell – A lover’s guide to eating well]

17. Get active

While we’re talking about how to become sexually active, know that being active in general will help. When you exercise regularly, you feel good about yourself, you boost your circulation, and your sex drive is likely to increase.

What better excuse to join the gym?

18. Kick stress out of your life

Stress will play havoc with your sex drive and literally zap it right out of you. Learn some handy stress management techniques to help you overcome stressful situations and feel better. Ironically, talking to your partner is one of them. [Read: How to reduce stress – 17 fastest hacks to a calmer and happier life]

The biggest benefits of being sexually active 

If you’re in a dry spell or feeling a little sexually uninspired, it happens. You have a lot of things on your plate, and it’s common to put our sexual needs on the back burner. But that’s about to change.

It’s time to end the dry spell and motivate yourself to get intimate. [Read: The signs it’s time to break your sexual dry spell]

And let’s be honest, after you read the benefits of being sexually active, you’ll want to get into your bedroom, grab your vibrator or partner, and get busy. Because the benefits are amazing!

1. Sex reduces stress

This isn’t a shocker. But it’s important to remind you of it. If you’re stressed, sex can greatly reduce those feelings. Why? Because of the increased release of positive hormones and endorphins in your brain.

In other words, stay calm and have sex. It’ll help take your stressful day down to a peaceful one. [Read: The thirst is real – 15 realities of not having sex for far too long]

2. Get a good night’s sleep

Are you tossing and turning at night? If it’s a yes, we have a second question for you: are you sexually active? When having sex, oxytocin is released into your body, which can help you get yourself a good night’s sleep.

See, there’s a reason why guys fall asleep so quickly after sex! [Read: Incredible benefits of sex that’ll make you want more]

3. Have glowing skin

We all want naturally glowing skin without needing to pick and poke at our faces. And you can have the skin of your dreams by having sex. Remember the whole “morning after” glow? Well, it’s not a myth.

The combination of reducing stress, the flush of blood under your skin, and improved mood gives you that glow.

4. Makes your heart strong

When it comes to having a healthy heart, sex is at the top. It’s a great form of exercise, plus, it’s not boring, like the gym. Having sex two times a week can reduce your risk of cardiovascular diseases, including stroke and heart attack.

Plus, you can also burn a couple of calories while having fun under the sheets. For one minute of sex, you burn 4 calories. Heck, that’s better than any treadmill. [Read: 26 secrets to get motivated to workout and exercise your way to a better life]

5. Boosts your self-esteem

When it comes to loving ourselves, that’s always been a universal issue. We don’t like this or that about ourselves, and it affects our self-esteem.

But having sex, solo or with a partner, can boost your self-esteem, as sex makes you feel more confident about your body. [Read: 14 sexy secrets to be incredibly good in bed every time]

6. Reduces your risk of prostate cancer

If you have a prostate, then you should know by having sex, you reduce your risk of prostate cancer. It’s not a bad way to fight off cancer!

Men who ejaculate more than 21 times per month are 20% less likely to develop prostate cancer. In other words, regular ejaculation is good for you, whether it’s with your partner or during masturbation.

7. Builds up your immune system

You can take all the supplements you want, and that will help you boost your immune system. But, you can also help out your immune system by having sex. Gasp! Is it true? Yes!

Researchers found that having sex a couple of times a week increases levels of immunoglobulin A, which is an antibody that fights colds and infections. [Read: How to be chill and learn to live a happier life as a result]

8. Soothe your cramps with sex

Oh, we know what you’re thinking when you read this. As a woman, if you’re having menstrual cramps, the last thing you want is anything around your vagina.

But, it turns out having something around your vagina, other than a tampon, can help you reduce your cramps. [Read: A complete guide to having sex while on your period]

9. Couples that have sex stay together

If you’re in a relationship, having regular sex can do wonders for your relationship. Firstly, it increases commitment, and secondly, it helps you emotionally connect to one another.

Couples who have regular sex are more likely to stay together than couples who don’t have sex. [Read: How often do people have sex to maintain a healthy relationship]

10. Get rid of your headache

If you have a headache, you probably just want to pop a Tylenol and chill on the couch. But sex may also be the answer to curing your headache. Oh, how the tables have turned. No more, “I have a headache” excuses.

When having sex, oxytocin, and other positive hormones are released into the body, which can ease the pain of a headache. 

11. Keep a strong pelvic floor

The pelvic floor is an important part of the body as it controls orgasms and the flow of urine. If you’re leaking before or after you pee, you need to strengthen your pelvic floor.

Aside from Kegels, you can strengthen your pelvic floor by having sex. [Read: Benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and libido]

12. Say goodbye to wrinkles

Do you have some wrinkles to smooth out? Ever thought about having sex? We know you went and bought an expensive anti-wrinkle cream, but don’t waste your money. Instead, have some sex.

The hormone estrogen is released during sex, which helps plump the skin and smoothes out fine lines. [Read: Safe and natural ways to increase your libido]

13. Feel happier

Everyone wants to feel happier, but who knew all you needed to do was have more sex? When having sex, neurotransmitters are released that enhance one’s mood. Hence why after having sex, you feel mentally lighter and happier.

Of course, it also matters who you’re having sex with. [Read: Here’s how to get in the mood for sex and defy the dry spell]

Sex is part of a healthy relationship

You don’t have to have sex to have a very close relationship with someone, but it’s definitely an important part of the equation. Couples who are sexually active have a stronger bond and often stay together longer.

But a huge part of this is also about communication. Talking about sex is just as important as having it. It might feel awkward at first, but you know what they say: if you’re not able to talk about sex, you’re not ready to have it.

[Read: How to not be nervous before having sex with someone and just enjoy it]

Sex isn’t the most important part of the relationship, but it’s certainly something that needs attention. So, it’s important to learn how to become sexually active when you’re ready.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...