Wondering how to dream of someone? Here’s our guide for science-backed methods and tips to meet that special someone in dreamland!
Ever found yourself wishing you could have one more moment with that special someone, even if it’s just in your dreams? Or maybe you’re longing for a late-night rendezvous with that cutie from the coffee shop? We’ve all been there, right? If you’ve ever pondered over how to dream of someone, you’re in luck!
We’ll dive deep *but not too deep!* into understanding the world of dreams, the science behind them, and even get a crash course in a tad bit of Freudian theory. [Read: Belief & interpretation: What it means when someone dreams about you]
Why We Dream
Before we dive into how to dream of someone, let’s get some basics straight first. Ever had those nights where you dreamt of flying or maybe being back in school only to realize you forgot your pants?
Dreams are the brain’s way of processing, organizing, and making sense of all the information it receives. Enter Freud, the pioneer of dream analysis.
He saw dreams as windows to our hidden desires and conflicts. [Read: 20 Relationship problems that push a couple apart or bring them closer]
But here’s a comforting thought: not every dream symbol is a deep, dark secret *like, sometimes a banana in your dream is, well, just a banana*. While Freud’s lens is one of many, it does offer an intriguing perspective to understanding our nocturnal narratives.
Ingredients to Dreaming of Someone
Let’s cut through the fluff and serve you the real tea. Want to increase the chances of seeing someone in your dreams? Here’s a concoction of scientific facts and tried-and-true methods to guide you:
1. The Zeigarnik Effect in Dreams
We humans have this curious tendency, called the Zeigarnik Effect, where unfinished tasks tend to preoccupy our minds. Ever wonder why that unanswered text or unresolved argument haunts your dreams?
That’s your brain trying to find closure. When trying to figure out how to dream of someone, leverage this by leaving a thought or memory about them “unfinished” before sleep. [Read: Dreaming about an ex – 34 scenarios, reasons, and what each dream means]
2. Visualization and Focused Thinking
This isn’t just some manifestation mumbo-jumbo, there’s real science behind it. By visualizing and focusing on someone before sleep, you’re priming your brain to recall and emphasize those thoughts during your dream cycle.
Imagine scenarios with them, replay conversations, or think about future interactions to guide your dreams in the desired direction.
3. Scent Triggers
Smells have a powerful connection to memories and emotions. Wearing your crush’s perfume or cologne isn’t just a stealthy admiration move; it’s a scientific approach. [Read: How to wear cologne, the secrets of cologne chemistry, and how to use it right]
Surrounding yourself with a scent associated with someone can increase the likelihood of them appearing in your dreams.
4. Sleeping to Sounds
Sound can profoundly influence our dream content, too. Curate a playlist with songs that remind you of the person you want to dream about, and let those tunes gently play as you drift into dreamland.
This auditory priming could lead your dreams down the desired path. [Read: The pity playlist – songs to help heal your broken heart]
5. Establishing Bedtime Rituals
Establishing bedtime rituals can be a powerful way to influence your dreams. By creating a consistent pre-sleep ritual focused on the person you want to dream about, you can make it a regular theme in your dreams. It’s a blend of psychology and manifestation, showing how to dream of someone effectively.
To establish such a ritual, start by setting a specific time each night to wind down and prepare for bed. Doing this helps signal to your brain that it’s time to transition to sleep. Then, incorporate activities that focus your thoughts on the person.
You might look at photos, read messages from them, or even listen to a song that reminds you of them. Visualization is also key—imagine spending time with them, engaging in activities you both enjoy, and focusing on the emotions these scenarios evoke. [Read: 65 couples activities & fun things to do that’ll make you feel closer than ever]
The theory of habituation, where repeated exposure to a stimulus decreases your response to it, combined with conditioning, where a neutral stimulus becomes associated with a significant one, plays a crucial role here.
By consistently associating your pre-sleep ritual with thoughts of this person, you condition your mind to carry these thoughts into your sleep and dreams.
Additionally, engaging in mindfulness or meditation before bed can enhance this process. Focus on deep, slow breathing while visualizing the person and the positive feelings they bring. This helps calm your mind and body, making it easier to fall asleep while thinking about them.
6. The Power of Pre-Sleep Priming
Pouring out your thoughts about someone in a journal before bed isn’t just therapeutic. [Read: How to get your crush to ask you out and get their interest in person and over text]
It’s a way to emphasize to your subconscious that this person is essential. By highlighting their importance before sleep, you’re gently nudging your dreams their way.
7. Discussing or Seeing Them Before Bed
Chat about them with a friend or even revisit their social media profiles before sleep *no stalking, just a friendly glance!*.
By keeping them top of mind as you transition to dreamland, you’re reinforcing their significance and boosting their chances of a dreamy cameo. [Read: How to stalk on social media and find just what you’re looking for]
8. Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreams *MILD* Technique
A bit of a tongue-twister, but the idea is simple. It involves setting an intention before you sleep. Repeatedly tell yourself, “I will dream of *person’s name* tonight.”
This repetition reinforces the thought and can influence your dream content. This technique is borrowed from lucid dreaming practices where dreamers can control their dreams.
9. Engage with Their Personal Items
Objects hold memories and emotional attachments. [Read: Emotionally invested – things you MUST know before going all-in in love]
Holding onto something that belongs to the person—like a borrowed book or a gifted accessory—can strengthen the mental association with them. Sleep with it nearby or even under your pillow, and it might act as a dream catalyst.
10. Guided Dream Meditation
Listening to guided meditations specifically designed for dreaming can be a powerful tool for enhancing your dream experience.
These meditations often incorporate soothing narratives, calming music, and specific prompts to help you focus your mind on your desired dream outcomes. There are meditations available that focus on specific individuals or types of dreams, such as lucid dreaming or meeting a loved one in a dream.
To get started, find a quiet and comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Put on headphones for an immersive experience, and choose a guided meditation that aligns with your dream goals.
As you listen, allow yourself to relax completely and follow the guide’s instructions, letting go of any conscious control. With regular practice, this technique can help you achieve more vivid and intentional dreams.
11. Reverse Psychology
This sounds counterintuitive, but sometimes telling yourself NOT to dream about someone can have the opposite effect. [Read: Reverse psychology – what it is, how it works, 26 signs, and secrets to use it]
The principle is based on the idea that the more you try to suppress a thought, the more it wants to surface. It’s a cheeky brain hack that might just work!
12. Deep Emotional Dive
Spend some time before bed truly diving deep into how the person makes you feel. Instead of just fleeting thoughts, immerse yourself in the emotions associated with them.
Reflect on specific moments you shared or imagine scenarios where their presence brought you joy, comfort, or excitement. Picture the details vividly: their smile, the sound of their voice, or the way they make you laugh.
Create a mental movie where you’re together, engaging in an activity that makes you happy, and focus on every sensory detail—what you see, hear, and feel in that moment.
You can also write down your thoughts and emotions about this person in a journal, describing how they make you feel, why they are important to you, and recount specific instances that stand out in your memory.
As you relax and prepare for sleep, repeat positive affirmations that reinforce your feelings towards this person, such as, “I feel loved and happy when I think of [their name].” Engage in a mindfulness exercise where you focus solely on your emotions related to this person, breathing deeply and letting the feelings wash over you without judgment.
13. Sleep Position
Some anecdotal evidence suggests that sleeping on your right side can increase the chances of having positive dreams. [Read: 30 benefits of sleeping naked & must-know tips you have no idea about!]
While the scientific consensus isn’t robust, if you’re dreaming of someone you have positive feelings for, why not give it a shot?
14. Dream Incubation
Dream incubation involves writing a detailed letter to yourself about the dream you wish to have involving a specific person. The act of writing helps to set a clear intention for your subconscious mind.
Reading this letter several times before bed reinforces your desire to dream about the person. This technique encourages your mind to focus on the desired dream scenario as you fall asleep.
15. Cognitive Behavioral Techniques
Using cognitive behavioral techniques before bed can help reframe your thoughts to focus more positively on the person you wish to dream about. This involves identifying any negative or intrusive thoughts that may arise and consciously replacing them with positive affirmations. [Read: Words of affirmation: How to use it, 56 signs, tips & examples to say it right]
Practicing mindfulness and relaxation exercises can also help calm the mind, creating a mental space conducive to dreaming about the desired person. Regular practice can make this a more effective approach.
16. Creative Writing
Engaging in creative writing about the person you want to dream about can stimulate your imagination and set the stage for your subconscious to continue the story in your dreams.
Write a short story or scenario that includes detailed descriptions and emotional connections. This process can make the person more prominent in your thoughts as you go to sleep.
The act of writing helps solidify the imagery and themes in your mind, making it more likely to appear in your dreams.
17. Dream-Enhancing Supplements
Certain natural supplements, such as melatonin or valerian root, are known to enhance the vividness and recall of dreams. These supplements can help you achieve a deeper, more restful sleep, which can improve dream quality. [Read: Late night thoughts: What it means, why they come & how to push them away]
It’s important to consult with a healthcare professional to ensure these supplements are safe for you. Using these supplements regularly can support your efforts to dream about specific people or scenarios.
18. Interactive Stories or Games
Engaging with interactive stories or video games that feature characters similar to the person you want to dream about can influence your dreams. These immersive experiences can make the person more prominent in your mind.
Spending time on these activities before bed can help your brain transition smoothly into dream states where the characters and scenarios you’ve engaged with continue to play out. This technique leverages the power of immersive storytelling to influence your dreams.
19. Pre-Sleep Stretching
Performing gentle stretches before bed can help relax your body and mind while focusing your thoughts on the person you want to dream about.
This combination of physical relaxation and mental focus can create a conducive environment for dreaming about the desired person. [Read: Finding peace: How to calm your mind & make peace a state of mind]
As you stretch, take slow, deep breaths and visualize positive scenarios involving the person. This practice can help align your physical state with your mental intentions, making it easier to dream about them.
20. Intentional Lighting
Using dim, colored lights in your bedroom before sleep can create a calming atmosphere that helps set the mood for specific dreams.
Soft red or blue lights can promote relaxation and make it easier to focus your thoughts on the person you wish to dream about.
Creating a serene and soothing environment can help your mind settle into a state conducive to dreaming. This technique supports the overall ambiance and mental focus needed for directed dreaming.
Why Can’t I Dream of Them?
So, you’ve tried all the tricks in the book, followed every step, and yet, your dreamland remains stubbornly devoid of their presence. There might be some common roadblocks hindering your midnight rendezvous.
Let’s dive in.
1. Stress and Anxiety
Stress and anxiety are like the pesky gatecrashers of our dream parties. The amygdala, a part of our brain involved in emotions, becomes hyperactive when we’re stressed. [Read: Social anxiety vs. shyness – 37 signs, differences, and ways to overcome them]
The heightened activity can disrupt the dream cycle, pushing out desired dream content. So, if you’re overly anxious about dreaming of someone, this very stress might be what’s keeping them out.
2. Sleep Quality
For dreams to be vivid and memorable, good REM *Rapid Eye Movement* sleep is essential. If you’re not getting enough REM sleep, chances are you either aren’t dreaming as vividly or aren’t remembering your dreams.
Ensuring a good night’s sleep, devoid of disturbances, can amplify your chances when trying to dream of someone. [Read: Am I in love? 47 fuzzy signs of being in love that’s beyond lust and crushes]
In today’s digital age, we’re bombarded with information. All this data can overwhelm the brain, leading it to prioritize the day’s most recent or emotionally charged events.
If you’re consuming a lot of content before bed—be it movies, social media, or news—these can dominate your dream space, leaving little room for your intended dream guest.
4. Suppression of Feelings
Ironically, if you’re subconsciously suppressing feelings about someone, it can act as a barrier. The more you push these feelings down, the less likely they are to emerge in your dreams. [Read: 42 Rules to forget someone you love and cared for as fast as possible]
Facing and acknowledging your emotions can pave the way in your quest to understand how to see someone in your dream.
5. Lack of Emotional Intimacy
Dreams tend to focus on individuals with whom we share strong emotional connections or unresolved issues.
If you’re trying to dream about someone you barely know or have a superficial relationship with, the emotional gravity might not be potent enough to pull them into your dream orbit. [Read: Emotionally distant partner – 24 signs, effects, and steps to feel closer again]
6. Certain Medications
Some medications, especially antidepressants and certain sleep aids, can impact dream recall or suppress REM sleep. If you’re on any medication and finding it hard to dream, it might be worth discussing with a healthcare professional.
The Pros and Cons of Trying to Dream of Someone
Stepping into the realm of how to dream of someone is about understanding the effects it can have on your psyche and daily life.
While the idea of sharing a dreamy dance with your crush might sound enticing, it’s essential to weigh the pros against the cons. [Read: 25 Showy ways to act cool in front of your crush and grab their attention]
1. Emotional Catharsis
Dreaming of someone can act as an emotional outlet, especially if there’s unresolved tension or feelings. It can provide a sense of closure or clarity, aiding in emotional healing.
2. Enhanced Mood
Positive dreams about a loved one or a crush can set a cheerful tone for the day, boosting mood and overall well-being.
3. Understanding Emotions
Dreams can act as mirrors, reflecting suppressed feelings or emotions. They can offer insights into how you genuinely feel about someone, shedding light on complex emotions. [Read: Plutchik’s wheel of emotions – how to read and decode your emotional wheel]
While dreaming of someone might sound like all rainbows and butterflies, it comes with its set of caveats.
4. Obsession Risk
Constantly trying to see someone in your dream can lead to an unhealthy obsession, blurring the lines between reality and the dream world.
When every night, all you do before sleeping is focus on dreaming about a specific person, it can create an intense fixation that overshadows your real-life interactions and relationships. This preoccupation can cause you to prioritize the dream version of this person over genuine connections, leading to feelings of frustration and disappointment when reality doesn’t match your idealized fantasies.
Such obsessive behavior can hinder personal growth and emotional well-being, making it crucial to maintain a healthy balance between dreams and reality.
5. Sleep Disturbances
Putting too much emphasis on dreaming of someone can disrupt the natural flow of sleep, leading to insomnia or fragmented sleep patterns. [Read: 38 Secrets to stop overthinking, what it looks like, signs, and the fastest fixes]
6. Morning Awkwardness
Intense dreams can carry over feelings into waking life. This can lead to awkward situations, like being overly friendly with someone based on a dream interaction.
7. Misinterpreting Feelings
While dreams can offer insights, they can also be misleading. Banking too much on dream content to guide real-life decisions can lead to misconstrued feelings and actions.
To Dream or Not to Dream, That is the Question!
Our minds are truly wondrous, aren’t they? With just a bit of intention, focus, and some science-backed techniques, we can nudge our dreams in specific directions. [Read: Coworker crush – why we for colleagues and how to pursue it or drop it]
The allure of reuniting with someone in the dreamscape, feeling those fluttering emotions, and experiencing those memorable moments is undeniable.
However, as with everything, there’s a flip side. While the journey of understanding how to dream of someone can be fascinating, it’s essential to remember our waking life’s beauty and richness.
And here’s a heartfelt parting tip for all the dreamers out there: Balance is crucial. While it’s lovely to wander in dreamland, cherishing moments, and making memories in the real world are equally precious. [Read: I want to be loved – the psychology and 22 secrets to find that missing piece]
So, dream deeply, but live fully. And in your pursuit of learning how to dream of someone, don’t miss out on the opportunities to connect, laugh, and love in the world outside your eyelids.