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How to Get Your Crush to Ask You Out & Get Their Interest in Person & Over Text

You have a huge crush, and you want to learn how to get them to ask you out. Don’t worry; it’s not as difficult as it might seem. Here’s how to do it.

how to get your crush to ask you out

Asking your crush on a date is a horribly nerve-wracking thing, and for many reasons. You might be afraid of rejection, scared of being vulnerable and expressing your feelings, or you could be worried you’ll stumble over your words. But what if you could flip it and learn how to get your crush to ask you out instead?!

A lot of people have been there. Someone might even ask a friend to get a person’s number for them so they can ask them out via text instead of just walking up to them. We all know how it feels.

But if you don’t want to take that dive into the deep end, you’re in luck. Instead of asking out your crush, you can instead learn how to get your crush to ask you out. [Read: Tame the jitters and just ask out your crush]

How to get your crush to ask you out – plant the seed

First things first, if you want to convince someone to ask you out, you need to calm their insecurities and any doubts they may have. Pretty much, you have to remove all the reasons you didn’t ask them out from the equation.

How do you do that?

1. Make sure they know you’re available

If someone wants to ask you out, one major reason they won’t is because they don’t know if you’re available. So, if you want your crush to know you are single and ready to mingle, just say so.

You don’t want to just walk up to them and say, “I’m single,” because, at that point, you might as well just ask them out. Instead, mention how it has been forever since you’ve been on a good date. Subtle hints are the way to go. [Read: The 15 subtle signs someone likes you back]

2. Let them know what you like to do

If you do all the heavy lifting subtly, your crush will only have one question to ask when the time comes to ask you out. So, let them know what you’d like to do on a date.

Tell them about a new release you’ve been wanting to see, a fusion restaurant you want to try, or even a museum or hiking trail you’re interested in. This will plant the seed for date ideas. [Read: 15 guaranteed ways to get your crush to like you back]

3. Hint that you like them

Another reason people hesitate to ask someone out is the fear of rejection. It is probably one of the reasons you don’t want to ask them out yourself. So, let them know that you wouldn’t reject them.

You can say something like, “why can’t I meet a guy/girl like you.” You could even ask them how their dating life is going. All of this will give them subtle clues to ask you out.

Even if it is a little abstract, these conversations will put you and dating in your crush’s head at the same time, which is a good starter. [Read: These intense signs of chemistry reveal an instant connection]

How to get your crush to ask you out – water the seed

Now that you have introduced the idea of you and dating in the same sentence to your crush, it is more likely that they will eventually ask you out, but it’s not guaranteed.

You have planted the seed in your crush’s mind. If you want it to sprout, work on more methods that will affect more than just their mind. The following ways to get your crush to ask you out include more subconscious hints. These hints will make them think of you romantically without realizing you had anything to do with it.

4. Flirt

Flirting is an ideal way to hint that you’re interested without being too obvious. Because flirting can be friendly or more, they may not read between the lines, but they will get the picture.

Joke with them, tease them a bit, and show off your best assets. [Read: 15 subtle flirting moves to bring them closer than ever]

5. Include them in group activities

If you don’t want to ask them out on a date, ask them to do group activities that give you more time to spend together in a more casual setting rather than a formal date.

Say you invite your crush to a bowling game but spend most of your time together. They will see where your attention lies, but there won’t be any of the pressure or awkwardness that comes with first dates.

6. Use your body language

Body language is the strong, silent way to get your crush to ask you out. By crossing your legs towards them, making eye contact, and rubbing their arm when they make you laugh, you aren’t saying anything but also saying everything all at once.

These small touches don’t also click in the brain, but they are an emotional door into their subconscious.[Read: 20 subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people]

How to get your crush to ask you out – watch it grow

Now is when you take the final few steps to ensure your crush will ask you out. In other words, these tricks should seal the deal.

7. Show your interest

Yes, we already said something along these lines, but this time you’ll be a lot less subtle about it. Instead of hinting at your interest in your crush, ask them questions.

Try to get to know them better as you would if you were on a date. By getting emotionally close by talking about their family, past, or passions, you show you care and want to learn more. [Read: 40 questions to ask your crush and subtly flirt with them]

8. Do other things together

If a date is your end goal, do other things together. Just don’t call it a date. It may slowly turn into that without anyone having to actually ask out the other.

Now we are not saying you should casually show up at a five-star restaurant together. But, you can go hiking together, shopping, or even help them build a piece of IKEA furniture. All of these things can help you get closer and bond. By doing this you still get the benefits of a date without all the pressure.

9. Dress up

You are at the end of the ninth inning. The score is tied up. Time to do something big. You want to get your crush’s attention so they really see you as someone they could date.

We’re not saying you need a makeover, but do something a little out of the ordinary. Style your hair differently, spray some perfume or cologne, and buy a new outfit. Do something that will give them the feeling of a cartoon character’s jaw hitting the floor and hearts shooting out of their eyes. [Read: How to fall in love with the sexy side of you]

How to get your crush to ask you out over text

Maybe you have been texting your crush for a long time – days, weeks, months, or even longer. But there’s still no sign of them asking you out yet. Some people just aren’t good with texting, so they don’t have any idea how to ask someone out over text.

Your crush could be shy, a player, or just stringing you along. So, if you want to know how to get your crush to ask you out over text, here are some ways you can do it.

10. “What are you up to this weekend?”

When you text your crush something like this, it feels like it’s casual, and you’re just making friendly conversation. And it is simple too.

They might not be thinking that far ahead and just enjoying your texting exchange. But if you put the thought of future plans into his head, they might get the hint and ask you out. [Read: 27 cool ways to ask someone to hang out over text and not sound needy]

11. “My friends asked me to hang out this weekend, but I told them I might be busy😊”

If your crush is being elusive about what they are doing on the weekend, you can let them know that you’re expecting to hang out with them, and you’re just waiting for them to ask you out.

If they reply with, “Oh yeah? What are you doing?” then they probably aren’t into you. They might have decided to purposely ignore your hint. But on the other hand, they might take it as a golden opportunity to ask you to hang out.

12. “When we hang out this weekend, I hope you remembered that I prefer roses over carnations.”

If you are just really frustrated that they haven’t asked you out yet, you can take this more direct – yet indirect – approach. They might be wondering whether or not you are interested in them or not. 

And if they feel that way, they might be too scared to ask you out because they are scared that you might reject them. So, by saying this, it says you’re ready and willing but in a fun, humorous way. This will put your crush at ease if they like you. [Read: How to text your crush without being annoying or boring them]

13. “Are you an all-words and no action type of person? Because I love texting you, but I’m still waiting to hang out. Hint, hint 😊”

This is also a more direct approach to getting your crush to ask you out. You can tease them with this kind of text and point out that you like them. They have your number and are spending all this time texting you, so if they don’t ask you out and plan a date, then all the texting will have been a waste of time for both of you.

14. “Since you’re not going to ask me out for this weekend, I guess I’ll just have to drown my sorrows in Netflix, a bottle of wine, and some ice cream. And then I’ll cry myself to sleep 😉”

This is also a light-hearted and funny way to tease them into asking you out. You’re pretending to be very upset at their lack of follow-through. But say it in a way that they know you’re joking. Use those emojis, so they know. This allows them to be your “savior” who makes your life better by not having to drown your sorrows.

15. “Do you want to hang out this weekend?”

If none of the above strategies seem like they would work, then you can just be blunt and very direct. Take the control into your own hands and just ask them yourself.

If they make excuses and say they are busy, then they are probably not into you. But if they do like you, then they will jump at the chance to go out with you. [Read: How to text your crush and 44 things to say to get them really interested]

Things you must know!

If you feel like you have tried everything you can to get your crush to ask you out and nothing is working, you might need to just walk away. There is no use in trying to get someone to like you if they don’t. 

When you want to get your crush to ask you out, you can do everything under the sun, save from actually asking them out yourself. But, sometimes, people just don’t get the hint. Some people are oblivious; others, sadly, are just not interested.

If you’ve tried it all and waited patiently, either finally take the plunge and ask your crush out yourself or give up. [Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]

We hate advising someone to give up. But, sometimes, that is the only answer. If you have done all of this and still haven’t received an invite to dinner and a movie, they may just not be into you. You’ve made it clear you’re interested. If they aren’t, they won’t make a move.

This is when you decide to take a risk or move on.

[Read: How to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself]

Learning how to get your crush to ask you out is easier than you’d think. But be prepared for any outcome, as nothing is foolproof.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...