Wondering ‘am I in love’ is common when you’re in a new relationship. After all, what does love feel like? Know the signs to find the answer.
Love is a wonderful feeling to experience. Anyone who’s ever fallen in any kind of love can tell you just how light and wonderful it can make you feel. If you’re wondering, ‘am I in love,’ there are concrete signs to let you know that what you’re feeling really is love and not just infatuation or lust.
But if you’ve just started to feel the twinge of the painful pleasure love causes, it’s not easy to decode it, even if you’ve been in love before. [Read: The stages of a new relationship to define your budding romance]
What does love feel like?
Love isn’t easy to explain because it comes in so many forms and stages. Contrary to popular belief, love doesn’t happen in just one stage. But it always starts the same way.
It begins with that wonderful fuzzy feeling that leaves you feeling giddily happy, and with time, turns into something that’s more mature, long-lasting, and true.
There are different stages of love. The honeymoon stage, which you’ve probably already heard of, is just one of the first stages. This is where you feel the most excited, but that doesn’t mean the love fades away as you transition to other stages of love.
Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship will tell you that the excitement of the first stage will slowly transition into a warm and familiar feeling for the person you’re in love with.
How is love different from lust?
First, let’s explore this very important comparison. They both feel very powerful and almost the same in the first initial stages, but they are very different feelings.
Lust is about the physical. It’s that feeling of wanting to rip your partner’s clothes off and get it on. It’s often something we all experience at the start of a crush or relationship. Sometimes it turns into love, but sometimes it fizzles out and goes nowhere.
Now love, that’s different from lust completely. Love is about emotions and desires that go beyond the physical.
For sure, you probably want to have sex when you’re in love, and you might experience both love and lust at the first time initially, but when the sexual attraction starts to die down just a little and you still feel something, that’s love. [Read: What does love feel like? 33 signs what you’re feeling is true and real]
Love is about caring for the other person’s well-being and wanting them to be the best version of themselves. You’re attracted to them, but it’s not the be-all and end-all of your relationship.
The most obvious love signs to decode that fuzzy feeling!
Love can be confusing, especially if you’re experiencing that feeling for the first time with someone new. It leaves you feeling scared and yet overwhelmingly excited.
Use these signs to find out if you’re in love, and if you do experience most of these signs, you’re truly and deeply in the first stage of love.
This could be the perfect start to something that could change your life for the better, forever! [Read: How to fall in love slowly – 28 steps to create a real-life fairytale]
1. Awesome and oh-so-perfect
When you start to fall in love with someone, everything about the person you like will seem so perfect. And every second longer that you stare, they just seem to get better and better!
They make you love life even more, and it’s like everything seems better than it already is. If you’re wondering, ‘am I in love,’ ask yourself if you’re feeling extra-happy and delirious right now.
2. You can’t focus
You’re constantly distracted and have a hard time focusing on anything other than this new person in your life.
Everything other than your new lover, including your work, your friends, and your commitments, starts to take a backseat.
Your mind is constantly consumed with thoughts of them 24/7. Don’t worry, that’s normal when you’re falling in love with someone! [Read: How to focus on yourself – 27 ways to create your own sunshine]
3. You feel selfless
Selflessness is a really massive indicator of how in love you feel with someone.
We’re all selfish by nature but when we’re in love, we tend to be really giving and generous to the person we love. You can’t help but put this person’s needs before yours all the time.
You’re eager to sacrifice your wants just to see your new lover happy because watching them happy makes you happy. [Read: Unconditional love – what it is and isn’t, 37 signs you’ve felt it and steps to find it]
4. Mood swings and excitement
You’ll feel excited all the time when you start falling in love with someone. But with that high of excitement also come the terribly painful lows of disappointment.
After all, falling in love is similar to an addiction, and that’s always full of highs and lows.
So as happy and excited as they make you feel, they can also make you feel very disappointed, even about little things *like forgetting to call you when they said they would*. [Read: How and when to say “I love you” for the first time – 46 new love must-knows!]
5. Daydreaming and fantasies
Your mind drifts away into fantasyland almost all day. You may be in the middle of an important meeting or having a conversation with friends, but your mind may involuntarily drift into a daydream about the last time you and your new lover did something together.
So if you’re wondering, ‘am I in love,’ pay attention to how often you think of them. You might even be unaware you’re doing it in the first place!
6. There’s not enough time
When you’re falling in love with someone, time may stand still when both of you are together. But yet, there’s just not enough time to be with each other! This is also why time flies by so fast whenever you’re with the person you love.
It’s as if time speeds up whenever you’re together, and you can never get enough of every moment spent with them. It’s because you’re in love. [Read: 60 perfect get-to-know-you questions for a new romance]
7. They’re so cute
Everything about this person you love would start to seem charming or cute. It could be something as trivial as the way they run their hands through their hair, the way they scrunch their nose, or even the way they smile when you compliment them. If you’re wondering, ‘am I in love,’ ask yourself if you find everything about them charming.
It’s nothing to be embarrassed about; you’re just really in love with them that you can’t help but admire their best qualities! [Read: 72 sweet things to say to your boyfriend and 172 really cute things to say to your girlfriend]
8. Jealousy and possessiveness
When you’re in love, the green-eyed monster might make an undesired visit. You may not always display your jealousy or your possessiveness to them, but you’d feel a twang of jealousy welling within you if you see your new lover having a conversation with an attractive someone.
This is because you can’t help but fear that they may fall for someone else and you want them to have eyes for you, and only you. As long as it’s not jealousy in a controlling way, they might find your jealousy cute! [Read: Jealousy in a relationship – how to accept, deal, and overcome it]
9. Happy events
You create memories or try to compare anything both of you do together to something more beautiful, meaningful, and dramatic.
Something as trivial as having coffee together one evening could convince you that it is one of the happiest evenings of your life. Whether you end up doing nothing or everything together, every moment is worth cherishing to you.
10. Our place
If you’re falling in love with this person, you’ll start naming places as “our place,” or, “the place we laughed so much,” or, “the place which sells the cupcakes both of us love.”
Doing that makes both of you feel closer, creates more together-memories faster, and makes your relationship seem more meaningful and important, even if it’s only the infatuation stage.
You start resonating places with a memory you shared with them, and that’s because you’re in love! [Read: Where to go on a first date – 85 best first date ideas that are fun and romantic]
11. Mesmerized
You’re mesmerized when you listen to them talk about something. You don’t want them to stop talking, and you could spend all day watching those lips move so beautifully while saying anything at all.
You could spend all day listening to them talk about everything, and you’d appreciate it wholeheartedly.
12. Spread the word
When you love someone, you can’t stop talking about them. You’ll talk about how amazing they are, how wonderful you feel, and how romantic the world feels all of a sudden with anyone and everyone who’s willing to listen to you.
When you’re with your friends, you can’t stop gushing about your new crush or partner. Your friends might even be sick of you talking about them all the time! [Read: Facebook official relationship – is your guy ready for it?]
13. Rolling in bed
Rolling around in bed is a definite sign of falling in love. When you start to fall for someone, the comfort of a soft, cozy bed would remind you of your new lover’s touch.
And every morning, you’ll spend a few more minutes running your hands around your bed and fantasizing about how perfect it would be if your lover was in bed with you. Really, how perfect would waking up be if that were the case?! [Read: When a man falls in love – how men actually fall in love and the 7 stages]
14. Your cheeks hurt
No matter how hard you try, you can’t clamp that smile shut even if your cheeks are in excruciating pain. The world looks so beautiful, and everything in it just makes you smile and jump.
So if your cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing with them, it’s a definite sign you’re in love!
15. Special times
You constantly think of ways to do something special for them. When you’re shopping, you feel like picking something up for them. When you’re having lunch with friends at a really nice place, you wonder how it would be to come to this place with your new partner.
You really make sure to go out of your way just to make the day extra special for them. You don’t even hesitate to buy them a token of appreciation whenever you go out without them! [Read: 67 sweet yet small romantic gestures that show love in the biggest way]
16. Your ex vanishes
You may have been haunted by the memories of your ex for several months, but all of a sudden your ex doesn’t hurt you anymore. In fact, they don’t even exist anymore!
When you’re wondering, ‘am I in love,’ think about how much your ex crosses your mind. If you’re in love, then you no longer care about your ex or think about them. Ever since this person came into your life, you’ve completely disregarded your ex for months.
17. You’ve found the one
No one else seems as attractive and perfect as your new partner. You could walk into a club and see the most gorgeous people on earth, but somehow, none of them seem as exciting as the one you’re falling in love with.
Whether you believe in the concept of soulmates or not, this person is suddenly making you more romantic and idealistic. [Read: How soon is too soon to say ‘I love you’ and why it sucks to say it too early!]
18. Entangled hands
You just can’t keep your hands off this person when you’re with them. You hold hands while walking, talking, and even sitting at a restaurant *even if that means you have to use only one hand to cut your steak!*.
Especially when you’re still in the honeymoon phase, you find them completely irresistible and you just can’t keep your hands off them.
19. The big future
You make plans for the future, even if it’s only in your head. You imagine how wonderful the years ahead would be with this person in your life. Planning for the future in your mind is a huge indicator of your feelings.
You don’t just make plans for or with anyone, but you only do this for someone you love and want in your life forever! [Read: 196 fun and deep relationship questions to test your couple compatibility]
20. Those love songs
You used to hate love songs, but since meeting this special person, you can’t help but listen to mushy love songs and visualize your own fairytale romance in them.
Somehow, love songs always make you feel more in love, especially if the lyrics seem to coincide with your own love story. You’ve never understood love songs more than you do right now! [Read: 20 most romantic songs for the one you love]
21. Your curiosity about them deepens
When you’re in love with someone, it’s only natural you’ll want to get to know them further. Even if you constantly go on dates, you feel like it’s never enough to get to know them.
You anticipate hearing details about their personal life because it also means your connection deepens. In fact, you really love it when they open up about something personal as it deepens your knowledge about them.
22. You can’t wait for them to meet your loved ones
When you’re wondering, ‘am I in love,’ watch how you can’t wait for the day you introduce them to all your loved ones. You can’t wait to show them off to all your friends and family because they’re so amazing!
You’re clearly smitten if this is the case. You only get this excited if you’re in love with someone, after all. [Read: 47 sweet signs you’re falling in love and slowly moving past the like stage]
23. You’re willing to see things from their perspective
When you’re in love with someone, you’re okay with seeing things from their perspective. Whether in arguments or just discussions in general, you don’t limit yourself to sticking to just your point of view.
You know that growth and love require expanding your outlook, especially for the person you love.
24. You change for the better
Love naturally makes you want to do better in life without them forcing it on you or controlling you. So if you’re wondering, ‘am I in love,’ assess whether you see yourself changing for the better *because of them*.
You’ll know it’s love when you want yourself to do better, possibly to deserve them. [Read: 38 small changes to better your love life and improve the relationship tenfold]
25. You can be yourself
Love doesn’t try to control or change you, but it embraces every version of yourself. If you feel like you don’t have to pretend around them or wear a mask, that’s how you know it’s true love.
The fact you can be your most authentic self around them speaks volumes that what you have is real. [Read: How to be yourself – 26 steps to un-fake your life & love being you]
26. The feelings remain even after the honeymoon stage
The honeymoon stage is the phase of your relationship with the most excitement and adrenaline. This is because everything feels new, and you’re still getting familiar with each other.
Once this is over and the love for them remains, that’s how you know for sure it was never infatuation or attachment. It was and still is love. [Read: Honeymoon phase – How to calculate how long it’ll last for you both]
27. They turn you on in all aspects
When they turn you on, this doesn’t just mean sexually, but also emotionally and mentally. The way they turn you on shouldn’t be just limited in the physical sense.
Otherwise, that’s just lust or infatuation. They should turn you on in your entire being and everything you are. You’d literally feel a tingle of excitement and passion just thinking of them. [Read: What turns women on? 52 traits to turn girls on sexually and emotionally]
28. You meet them halfway
Compromise is a big word in relationships. When you love someone, you’re selfless, which should also mean you can meet them halfway.
While relationships are never 50/50, the fact that you try your best efforts to make them happy means you’re in love! You wouldn’t do this for someone you don’t care about, after all. [Read: Compromise in a relationship – 17 ways to give and not feel like you lost]
29. You don’t need to play games to get their attention
If you’re wondering, ‘am I in love,’ there shouldn’t be any mind games or reverse psychology going on. If you or they have to work hard to keep the interest alive, that isn’t love.
One of you will eventually get tired of playing the game and quit. Real love requires no games whatsoever, just authenticity and sincerity of emotions. [Read: 103 heartfelt signs to know if you love someone or are falling in love]
30. You think this person is different from the rest
To you, this person is literally the best thing walking this earth. You don’t see anyone else aside from your partner. This is a feeling strongly correlated to being in love.
If you don’t see anyone else with romantic eyes, perhaps you caught the love bug. [Read: What is true love? 58 signs and ways to tell if what you’re feeling is real]
31. You only see the positives
Do they have any flaws? Trust us, they do. But right now, you only look at their beautiful qualities. When you’re in love, you tend to overlook the negative attributes of people, focusing on only the good.
When you think about them, you’re smiling and daydreaming of seeing them again. That doesn’t mean you’ll never see their flaws or acknowledge them, but you accept them as being a flawed person—just like you. We all are! [Read: 22 new relationships advice and tips to avoid newbie mistakes many make]
32. You spend most of your time with them
When you’re in love, you invest all of your time in being next to the person. You find yourself spending more time with them, distancing yourself from your friends.
In the beginning, this is somewhat normal. People always joke around about having their friends stolen by their significant others because it’s true.
Of course, it should even itself out and you should find balance. It’s never a good thing to become codependent upon a partner, so always make sure that you find time for yourself and your friends.
33. You defend your partner
If your friends say something negative about your partner, you defend them.
Regardless of whether you think your friends are right or not, you stand by your partner’s side. It’s admirable, but do remember that your partner is a normal human being and that means they can be wrong sometimes! [Read: How to get over an ex – 17 steps to heal ASAP in the healthiest way]
34. You can almost feel their emotions
When you’re in love, you feel extreme empathy toward your partner. If they’re happy, you’re happy. When they’re sad, you feel their pain. This shows a deeper emotional connection between you and your partner.
It could also be that maybe you’re an empath—someone who absorbs the emotions of others and takes them on as their own.
Either way, even if this isn’t the case for you, you’re likely to pick up on small changes in your partner’s mood because you’re so closely attuned to them. Are you in love? Probably so! [Read: Selfless love – 18 traits that set it apart from selfish love]
35. You like what they like
They like doing things that you love to do and vice versa. When you’re in love, people tend to align their interests with their partners.
Basically, you start to mimic each other. You start dressing the same, having similar habits, and behaving the same. Remember to hold on to who you were before you met this person and still enjoy the things you used to love then. [Read: Do couples always have to like the same things?]
36. You remember all the small things
It’s likely you know what their favorite ice cream flavor is, what their favorite band is, and where their dream vacation would be.
You keep note of everything and when you can, you surprise them with the shirt they wanted to buy or their favorite cake. You’re not doing this to win them over, you’re doing this because it makes you feel good to see them happy.
But, do remember that this should be a two-way thing! They should be surprising you in the same way occasionally. [Read: 19 ways to pull back in a relationship when you’re giving too much]
37. You are concerned about their safety
When you love someone, you care greatly about their safety and health. If you get worried about them and want to care for them when they are sick, even if they are gross, smelly, and vomiting everywhere, it is a sign of being in love. [Read: What does it feel like to be in love? 33 must-know truths about being in love]
38. You long for them when they aren’t around
If you find yourself longing for them when they aren’t around, that is one of the answers to your “am I in love” question. Different than just lust, you don’t just want to have sex with them.
You also want to hang out with them, talk to them, and just be near them. Something more than physical, you desire to connect with them. [Read: 16 secrets to a really happy relationship]
39. You care what they think of you, like, really care
When you are in love with someone, you care greatly about what they think of you. It isn’t just about what you look like, you care about what they think of you as a person. You want them to think highly of you and respect you.
You don’t want to disappoint the other person you love or have them think less of you.
40. They have the ability to hurt you more than anyone else
If someone has the ability to take you down with the slightest bit of criticism or behavior that shows disrespect or displeasure with you, that is a sign of being in love.
The hardest part of love is that they have the power to wound you like no one else. [Read: Why does love hurt? 31 things WE do that hurts and secrets to ease the pain]
41. You are willing to put up with their family
If you not only agree to meet their family, but put up with the criticism, scrutiny, or their huge idiosyncrasies, then you are probably on the track to true love.
That is why they say when you marry you marry someone’s family, ‘If you envision yourself putting up with their extended relatives forever, then you are definitely a victim of cupid’s arrow.’ [Read: Practical ways to deal with difficult in-laws]
42. You think about what your children would look like
You think about what type of children you will have, how many, or what type of car you will purchase to cart them around in. Even considering making the commitment to procreate with someone is a huge step, and it probably means you are in love.
43. They make things better just by being close
If they don’t have to say anything, but they just give you a “look” that makes everything better, that is a sign of love.
When you are in love with someone you might not complete each other’s sentences, but they do have a keen awareness you need them and they need you. It only takes one look from them to let you know that you aren’t in it alone anymore.
44. When something happens, they are the first person you want to call
If something excellent or devastating happens, and the first person you want to pick up the phone to call is them, then you might as well stop asking yourself, “am I in love,” because you are! It means you have someone to rely on and always have your back.
45. You relish their accomplishments as much as your own
If you feel a sense of pride for the things they do, almost as much as you do the things you accomplish, then it is a team effort. And ‘team’ is another four-letter word for LOVE. [Read: 63 cute good morning texts that work like magic and make them smile]
46. You would step in front of a bullet if you had to
When you love someone, you can’t imagine your life without them. That means you don’t want to live without them by your side. Love makes you do some pretty crazy things, like step in front of a bullet or put yourself in harm’s way to protect your love and keep them here with you at all costs.
We hope you’re never in a position to have to do this!
47. You would give up something super-important if you had to
Love means ultimatums are granted. If you would give up just about anything for the person to stay with you, be at your side, and have peace in their life, then guess what? That is a major sign of love.
Although love is different at different stages of life, in every relationship, and for each individual, if you see the above twenty signs of being in love creep up, then you might just have to consider the fact that you are in love. [Read: “I love you” vs. “I am in love with you” – The big differences
So, are you in love?
Love is an emotion for a reason, and it’s because it uses your heart rather than logic. Sometimes, especially if you can relate to most of these signs, you need just to follow your heart! Especially if it’s real love, why not go for it?
The first stage of love, the infatuation stage, is always wonderful, full of romance and unquenchable passion.
And it’s a perfect step to pave the way into the next eight stages of love, which will only get better and more meaningful. But which stage are you in right now? Or are you even in love?
Take a look at these 9 stages of love in every relationship and you’ll know exactly where you are, and where you’ll be going next!
So are you still wondering if you’re in love? These ‘am I in love’ signs will help you figure out if it’s love you’re genuinely feeling, and not just infatuation or lust.
