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How to Start a Conversation with a Girl over Text: 15 Smooth Steps

how to start a conversation with a girl over text

You like a girl, but all you do is stare. Don’t be creepy. Time for the next step. Learn how to start a conversation with a girl over text and impress her.

You finally asked that cute waitress for her number. Good for you! It takes courage to ask someone for their number, and you mustered up the courage to do it. But you’re only halfway there. Before you can ask her out, learn how to start a conversation with a girl over text.

Now, some girls will go on a date without really talking to a guy beforehand. But in general, women prefer to have a sense of who you are. Naturally, this depends entirely on the relationship you had before landing her number.

But don’t start freaking out, it’s easy to get negative thoughts in your head and then barf after texting her. You’ve made it this far—there’s no turning back now! You may be a little nervous about texting her first, and don’t worry, being nervous is perfectly normal. [Read: The rules for texting girls you shouldn’t be ignoring]

How to start a conversation with a girl over text – The must-know tips you need

If you need a helping hand in getting started, I’m here to guide you. I want you to land that date with her, so follow these tips if you want to make your dream a reality. It’s time to get talking. You’ve got this!

#1 Get her number. You have her number, right? If not, this is definitely your first step. Ask her for her number. If she offers you her Facebook or Instagram, take it. Not everyone is comfortable giving their number out. [Read: How to ask a girl for her phone number]

#2 Don’t send a dick pic. Some guys think it’s okay to send dick pictures as a way to say “hi.” Are you insane?! Listen, unless she asks for a dick pic or sends you a nude, you keep that dick far away from your camera. If you actually want her to reply, try a different method. [Read: Important rules to not creeping a girl out when texting her]

#3 Start simple. You don’t need to write her something sophisticated or cheesy. Keep it simple. You should start by saying “hi.” Yes, it’s simple, but it’s better than a line about her falling from heaven. Then ask her an open-ended question. For example, “Hi, how’s it going?” or ask her something specific and that’s a *mature* topic. Use things from your previous conversations with her. [Read: Cute ways to say ‘Hi’ in a text and really stand out]

#4 Take your time. You’ll want to text her immediately once you get her number, but don’t do it. By taking even five minutes to text her, you’ll be more relaxed. You don’t need to text her straight away, there’s no real reason. So just take your time before jumping the gun.

#5 Timing matters. You should text her when you think she’ll have some time to talk. If you know she works 9 to 5, don’t text her during that time. If she takes night classes, text her earlier. You want to give her attention during the conversation, not to see you as a distraction.

#6 If she likes you, she’ll talk to you. If you’re wondering how to start a conversation with a girl over text, don’t be too concerned with your opening lines. If she’s into you, she’ll go with the flow and give you a pass. Focus on topics that you know she’s interested in. Send her a good morning/night text message and see how she responds. [Read: 15 text conversation starters for the shy and socially awkward]

#7 Give space. If the conversation is flowing, then you can keep it going until you feel it’s a good time for a pause. Giving space isn’t a bad move, it shows her that you have a life outside of texting. If you’re too available, it’s not fun. Everyone likes a little chase. So, take a couple of hours in between conversations.

#8 How does she respond? You’re not the only one in the conversation. You may be thinking it’s going great, but she’s only replying to be polite. Look at her responses. Does she ask questions? Is she engaged? Does she text you first? If it’s a yes, then you’re on the right path. If she’s mostly saying “yes” and “no,” stop texting her. [Read: How to not be a boring texter and keep your crush interested]

#9 Use what you learn in future chats. So, the first conversation went okay, but you noticed she doesn’t like talking about movies. The next time you talk to her, don’t bring them up. With every conversation, you’ll learn something new about her. Tailor your topics to her interests.

#10 Compliment her. I don’t know how you met her, but if you’re unsure if she knows you like her, you need to establish that. Don’t be too aggressive by flirting with her right away. Give her a genuine compliment about her personality or smile. Let her know, you’re not interested in being friends. You want more. [Read: The best compliments for girls that work better than you think]

#11 Easy with the emojis. Not all girls speak in emojis. Want to know how to start a conversation with a girl over text and actually keep her interested? Don’t infiltrate her screen with 1,000 smiley faces. Use the same amount of emojis she uses. If she’s never using emojis, then use emojis sparingly. If not, you’ll come across as a little too eager.

#12 If she’s not into it–stop. If she’s not giving you anything back, if she’s just sending one worded texts, you need to pull the plug. If not, you’ll look very pathetic and desperate. This isn’t a good look for you. Pull out while you’re still ahead. There are plenty of other women out there. [Read: 18 clear signs to know if a girl likes you over text]

#13 Keep your goal in mind. The whole purpose of you texting her is to ask her out. Don’t forget that. You need to remember why you’re texting her. Don’t allow weeks and weeks to pass by. Text her for a couple of days and then ask her out when you feel you comfortable with each other.

#14 Think twice about what you text. Remember texting doesn’t allow you to hear each other’s voices or faces. So, if you make a joke, make sure it’s not offensive or sexually explicit. You don’t know each other. Before sending a text, make sure your tone matches what’s written. [Read: How to make a girl like you without even asking her out]

#15 Eventually, call her. Only if the conversation is flowing. If not, she’ll think you’re creepy. If you’ve texted for a bit, call her. It’s a great way to break the ice and make her feel more comfortable. When you call her, you can ask her out at the end of the conversation.

[Read: 18 casual things to text a girl and leave her addicted to you]

Understanding how to start a conversation with a girl over text isn’t easy to learn! But if you follow these tips, it’ll help you be more confident and relaxed when it’s time to take the next step.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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