31 Secrets to Get a Girl to Like You & Desire You Without Asking Her Out

Attraction isn’t as complex as you think it is. If you like a girl, you can do your best to attract her your way. Learn how to get a girl to like you!

how to get a girl to like you

Usually, when a guy likes a girl, he wears his heart on his sleeves and asks her out. But he really doesn’t know if she’s going to accept his proposal or walk all over him. Being straightforward is a good way to ask a girl out, but it’s not perfect. If you want to know how to get a girl to like you, you need to know how to do just that without really ever telling her that you like her in the first place. Clever, huh?!

By asking a girl out, you’re putting her in a spot, probably because she’s never looked at you as a dating potential or because she likes someone else.

But by warming her up and making her want you first, you’ll be able to make her like you without ever telling her that you want to go out with her.

[Read: What do girls like in guys? 30 powerful qualities that make a guy a real catch]

Girls like a nice guy, but a genuine one, not a fake one

When a girl feels comfortable around you, you’re a nice guy. When she has a great time with you, you’re definitely a great guy. If she has a great time with you and feels a flutter in her heart when she’s around you, well, you’re definitely on the right track to making her like you.

Most guys try to be nice guys, and there’s really nothing wrong with that. If you want to learn how to get a girl to like you, you definitely have to play nice.

But as the friendship progresses, you have to learn to subtly move away from the friend zone and let her notice you as a dating potential. The truth? Your niceness has to be genuine. She will see through fakeness a mile away.

Many guys get the ‘transitioning from friendship’ part wrong. They want to go out with a girl, but they never really make any move towards letting the girl know what’s on their mind.

And eventually, all that happens is that she gets swept away by some other guy, while they whine about how unfair life is to them. Don’t be that loser of a guy. [Read: Why the fake nice guy isn’t really such a nice guy deep inside – he’s more of a creep]

Attractive friends and dating potential

If you have an attractive friend, never let her see you as just a friend – you can be her friend, but you have to show her that you could be more.

Girls may find it easier to stay friends with an attractive guy, but guys just can’t. It’s in a man’s competitive nature to woo anyone he finds attractive.

But there are exceptions here, like when the girl is already dating another guy, or if she’s so way out of your league that you can’t even think of asking her out.

Of course, you need to know how to get out of the friend zone. That means learning how to get a girl to like you after you’ve been her friend for a while.

You don’t have to go out with guns blazing, play it subtle to start with and work your flirting around the way she reciprocates your moves. [Read: How to avoid a girl’s friend zone and make her secretly desire you from the very beginning]

1. Be the best man you can be

You can’t cheat your way through this step. The world is full of great guys who want to be with the best women they can find. If you want the girl you like, you need to be worth her effort.

Even before you flirt with her, you need to make a real man out of yourself. Be the man who can attract attention from women and you’ll realize that wooing the best girls around you is way easier than you can imagine. [Read: What women want in a perfect man]

2. Compliment her the right way

Is she looking particularly good today, or has she done something with her hair? If you like a girl, odds are, you’ll notice these signs almost immediately. If you like something about her, compliment her about it, be it her dress or her hair.

But if you want to tread into the dating ground and make her remember your compliment, you need to use your words well.

Don’t say the obvious statement when you’re trying to compliment her. Try to get memorable and personal with your compliments without crossing the line. Here are two ways of complimenting the same thing.

Nice tee shirt! *instead, say* Gosh, you look so beautiful.

Nice perfume! *instead, say* You smell so good today…

You can always compliment a girl about her tee shirt or her perfume directly, but by getting personal with it, you’re creating a memory for her.

The next time she uses that perfume, she’s going to remember what you said. And that’s the first step to paving your way into her heart.

Saying “your skin is so soft… does it feel the same way all over?” or “nice tee shirt… I love the way it fits your body” may seem personal, but it also borders on creepy. Save these sexual compliments for later, when she wants to hear them. [Read: How to compliment a girl – 15 must-know tips and 35 examples that work like a charm]

3. Get some alone time with her

Flirting is best indulged in when it’s just the both of you. You can show off your flirting skills around a group of girls and guys, but you won’t be able to create an impression on the girl you like, because she’ll never think it’s special.

After all, if you’re going to flirt with every girl you meet, how will the girl you like ever feel like you’re treating her in a special manner?

Indulge in a bit of humorous flirting when there are people around, but save all your special compliments and “you make my day” lines when it’s just the both of you.

When you’re flirting with a girl, make her feel more special than anyone else, and she’ll think about your conversation a lot longer. [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease her without making her feel weird]

4. Girls like a funny bone

A sense of humor is a great quality to have for a conversation. If you don’t think you’re a funny or witty guy, don’t fret. Just grin for starters.

Girls love a guy with whom they can have a fun time. You don’t need to memorize a thousand one-liners to seem funny. Just remember an incident you came across or talk about the things around you. Can’t think of any? Just share a meme!

But on the deeper side of things, if you want to get a sense of humor, start to see the lighter side in everything you do.

Enjoy your life and always stay positive and cheerful. A good sense of humor always accompanies a guy who can see the bright side of everything, and shares his funny thoughts with the people around him. [Read: How to be a funny guy – 28 must-know secrets to make everyone love your sense of humor]

5. Tease her every now and then

While flirting may seem like a lot of work, it’s all about the little details that matter. Flirting isn’t just about mouthing a few lines laced with sexuality. It’s the way you behave around each other, be it having a laugh or indulging in a bit of touchy-feely flirting.

If you can have a fun conversation with her, you’re already flirting! It’s as simple as that.

But to push the friendly banter into dating grounds, you need to tease her and pull her leg now and then, when she slips or does something funny. [Read: How to have playful banter with a girl and make her flirt back with you]

6. Play with dirty conversations

The first five steps are perfect for creating a flirty environment for both of you. It’s just friendly and casual. But once you get past that, both of you would be close enough to take the kiddie flirting to the next step.

Whenever you get some alone time, texting her or are speaking to her on the phone, learn to mix your conversations.

By now, both of you would have warmed up to flirting with each other, so you don’t really have to be worried about crossing the line now and then.

Pass a few sexual remarks or ask a few questions that border on personal space every now and then. Even if she tells you to shut it in jest, you’ll still be making her think naughty! [Read: The best (200+) sweet and very flirty texts to make any girl smile and like you]

7. Get touchy-feely

No flirting is ever complete without a few subtle, sexy touches now and then. Every now and then, try to find an excuse to touch her, be it her new earrings, her strand of hair that’s caught in the wind, or while crossing a busy street.

And each time you touch her, let your hands linger just a bit longer than required. She’ll sense your hand lingering and she’ll love it, just as long as you’ve been working your flirty magic on her. [Read: How to flirt by touch and use subtle body language to seduce her]

8. Ask her out often

Once in a while, when you’re flirting with her, ask her out to a movie or lunch the next day. The best time to pop this question would be when you’re just about to wave goodbye, or when you’re text flirting. You don’t have to sound serious about it at all though!

*say something like… “I can’t wait to watch that movie with you… let’s do it this weekend then! See ya!”

By ending the conversation abruptly just as you ask her out, you’ll make her wonder if you genuinely asked her out or if you were just joking. And as always, these little details arouse curiosity and excitement.

The next day, you can remind her about your date, and again don’t sound too serious about it. If she just laughs about it, laugh along and talk about something else. She may be unsure if you’re joking or serious, or she may not be willing to take the plunge just yet.

If she actually responds in your favor and accepts, woohoo! But if she declines, laugh it off as a joke. But make a mental note to work harder on impressing her while flirting with her. [Read: How to ask a girl to hang out casually without making it a big deal]

9. Make those late night calls

The night has a funny way of awakening our sexuality. Any two friends who indulge in long conversations with each other at this bewitching hour can assure you of this one.

If you want to know how to flirt with a girl and make her like you, start calling her up or texting her late into the night and have your flirty conversations.

The relaxed late-night conversations will soon evolve into a mutual attraction that will easily cross the boundaries of friendship in no time, just as long as you use these flirty conversation tips. [Read: How to flirt with a girl over text – 20 tips to leave her completely hooked]

10. Let her see you as a dating potential

You may have created an attraction and a strong sexual chemistry between both of you, but you’re not done just yet.

She may enjoy your conversations and secretly like you already, but to flirt with a girl and make her want to go out with you, you need to let her see you as a dating potential.

During a few conversations with her, drop a few hints that you’re looking out for a girlfriend or are interested in going out with someone. If she’s single or in a bad relationship, she’ll involuntarily think about both of you together, especially if it’s one of those late night calls.

11. Keep living your life

When your goal is to know how to get a girl to like you, you can lose focus on other things in your life like work, friendships, and more. Remember that she isn’t a sure thing and you have plenty to live for, regardless of whether or not you get her to like you. 

You can give her attention when she’s around but letting her preoccupy your mind all the time will only drive you crazy.

12. Let her get to know you

Getting a girl to like you isn’t all about giving her your attention, but letting her give you attention. Let her get to know you outside of just being her friend.

She won’t be able to like you or fall for you if you just let her talk and praise her. Talk about your life, your dreams, and what makes you tick. Hearing these things is what will win her heart. [Read: How to make a girl think of you often – 22 ways to stay on her mind 24/7]

13. Smell good

Looking good is all great and well, but smelling good is even more important. We can tell you know that a guy’s hygiene is a bigger turn-on than his ability to put together a stylish outfit. 

Brush, floss, wear deodorant and spritz just a touch of cologne. The sense of smell is very triggering, more so than sight, so use that to your advantage. 

14. Care about her

This is a big one, caring about her is what makes her realize you are a nice guy. Claiming that you’re a nice guy does the opposite. Actually treating her like an equal and putting in the effort to be her friend is what lets her see the type of person you are. 

Don’t just care about what you can get from her, actually care about her as a person. [Read: What do girls look for in a guy? The worthy traits of a real catch]

15. Look her in the eye

Even if she gets you flustered, make a point to initiate eye contact. Looking down at your feet or at her breasts is not the way to go. Making a real connection can be a lot more intense when you share eye contact.

16. Engage in conversation

Any guy can flirt or make her laugh. Actually engage in conversation with her.

Hear her out. Ask her opinion on things that are important to you. These conversations really stimulate a bond that is more powerful than a flirtation. [Read: 25 deep questions to ask a girl and find out if you’re compatible]

17. Remember she is just a girl

What can halt a lot of guys from actually getting a girl to like them is the idea that she is this mysterious creature. She is just a girl. Sure, she is special to you but she is pretty used to herself. Treat her with kindness and respect and you are way ahead of the curve. 

Don’t let yourself get worked up by her beauty. She shouldn’t intimidate you. This will throw you off your game and mess with your confidence.

Feeling good about yourself and knowing you have a lot to offer will show a lot more about you. [Read: The subtle differences between a confident and arrogant man]

18. Ask her about herself

A mistake a lot of guys make when they want a girl to like them is to assume that just because you like her that you know her. She may be smart and funny and pretty, but you have a lot more to learn about her. Take this time to do that.

Ask about her family and her dreams. Opening up to you will help her feel more at ease around you and will either strengthen your attraction or maybe even steer you in a different direction.

19. Change things up

If you always see her at work, make plans outside even if it is just to go across the street for lunch or take a walk on your break. Change up your surroundings so she gets comfortable seeing you in a different light. [Read: 15 easy ways to ask a girl out and warm her up to a definite YES]

20. Tell her how you feel

So many people will advise against this but we actually think it is the best way to show your confidence. Opening up about your feelings is vulnerable and scary, but taking the risk of rejection is what makes it so romantic. 

Don’t just jump right into it but if you’ve made a connection and have grown a friendship for a while and can’t get a read on her feelings, this is the best thing to do. Let her know you’re interested and see where it goes. 

The worst that happens is she isn’t interested and you go on with your life. [Read: Does she like me? 32 subtle signs she already sees you as more than just a friend]

How to know if she is starting to like you

We know a lot of these ways to get a girl to like you are awfully subtle, but that is key. Making big gestures may be what works in the movies but in real life that can be super intense and kind of creepy. 

Taking your time and getting to know her is your best bet. And letting her feelings form naturally will help her feel more at ease instead of pressured. 

If you’ve been getting to know her and your feelings are only growing and you aren’t sure if everything you’re doing is working, ask. 

We know it is scary, but it is the only way to get an honest answer. It doesn’t mean you’ve ruined your friendship or become a weird guy who is only interested in one thing. It means you’ve gotten to know her and given her time to get to know you and are taking your shot. [Read: How to make a girl fall in love with you – 18 steps that’ll surely win her heart]

As long as you are accepting and respectful of her response, no matter what it is, this will not be too bad. Don’t pressure her or assume anything. You could even ask her out for something casual like coffee and let her know you like her and were interested in a proper date if she feels the same. 

She will respect your honesty and kindness. Just remember that she doesn’t owe you anything. Not everyone will have those feelings for you. Try not to let your ego get in the way of what could be a great friendship. [Read: What girls find attractive – 20 traits that make a guy irresistible]

Remember that smooth talking rarely works

If you want to know how to make a girl like you, you need to stop trying to be a serial flirter. Do you have a friend who flirts with every single girl he meets, even if there are two or more girls at the same time?

Now his flirting abilities may be a gift to die for, but when you publicly flirt with every single friend or girl you meet, you’re not treating one girl any different from the other. All the girls may end up assuming you’re just a serial flirter who just flirts with all his friends.

If you want to get a girl to like you and fall for you, she has to believe that you’re treating her differently. By treating her in a special manner, you’ll make her wonder if you’ve got something more than friends on your mind. Really, why else would you treat one friend differently from the others?

And once you get her thinking, you’ve already set the ball in motion.

Both of you may be friends, but the doubt of whether both of you are more than friends would create a tingle of sexual excitement and curiosity that can score you big points while pursuing her sneakily. [Read: Mutual sexual tension – 44 signs, causes and secrets to make her horny thinking of you]

Flirt and tell? Never!

A bit of casual flirting is fun, even among friends. You can flirt and tease all your girl friends, but don’t overdo it. Let all your women friends see you as a cheerful guy who’s a lot of fun to spend time with.

But save your wooing and flirting when you’re alone with a girl you like. Flirt with her using the sneaky flirting steps we’ve mentioned and get touchy feely when it’s just the both of you.

By keeping it discreet, you get to make an impression on the girl, and no one else even knows about it. The secret flirting can excite the girl you like, and you’re not really asking her out anyways, are you? You’re just indulging in a bit of “friendly flirting.”

If this girl speaks about your flirting with another girl friend, everyone knows you as a cheerful guy who flirts now and then, so no one’s going to believe she’s getting any special treatment from you, and this would only make her get drawn to you even if it’s just to confirm her doubts!

On the other hand, if she keeps the flirting a secret too, it’ll make her feel all the more excited to share a special connection with you. Either way, you win! And either way, she’ll want more from you! [Read: How to seduce a girl and subtle ways to make her sexually desire you]

Where guys go wrong when trying to impress a girl

There are a lot of things you can do to get a girl to like you, but there are also things you should never do to get a girl to like you. These things are manipulative, predatory, or just plain rude. 

So, before we offer up steps on how to get a girl to like you, here are some things you most certainly want to avoid.

This may be the most important thing you need to know. Never disregard consent. Whether you are putting her hair behind her ear or trying to kiss her, make sure it is okay with her first. If she says no or doesn’t say yes, it means no. If she seems awkward and uncomfortable when you place your hand against her arm, it means no.

Do not assume she’s playing hard to get or trying to be coy. If she isn’t interested, accept it. It is one thing to flirt without knowing for sure if she’s interested. It is another thing to make a move that makes her uncomfortable.

2. Do not comment on her body

It may seem like a compliment to tell her you love her curves, but you don’t know how she feels about her body so keep your compliments away from there.

You can say she is fit, or that she looks amazing in an outfit. You can tell her she’s beautiful, but avoid commenting on her weight or size. [Read: How to talk to a shy girl and get her to open up to you]

3. Do not judge her food choices

Whether she is eating a salad or a platter of fries, do not judge her on her choices. She is doing what feels right for her, for her own reasons.

You may think telling her she can eat more than a salad and still look great is a compliment, but it is not. [Read: The things guys say and do that are a big turn off for girls]

4. Do not comment on her dating history

Whether she went through a tough breakup or has a colorful dating history, it isn’t your place to comment on that.

Don’t say, ‘well, you’ve dated everyone else in the office’ or ‘isn’t seeing me better than being single?’. These are entirely rude and manipulative ways to get a girl to go out with you.

5. Do not get someone else to talk you up

If you like this girl, you need to make some face time. Actually, talk to her.

Getting a friend or coworker to talk you up or put the idea in her head is a middle school move and only shows your lack of confidence. [Read: How to talk to a girl – The real secrets to be smooth and impress women]

6. Do not stare

TV makes staring into her eyes seem romantic and although eye contact is good when you’re talking, just staring at her without saying anything is super creepy. Don’t do it. she’ll think you’re sleeping with your eyes open or being a weirdo. If you think she is gorgeous, just tell her. 

7. Do not pester her

If you like her, get to know her at a normal pace. Don’t constantly come by her place, text her, or call her. This will only be overkill. And by all means, don’t ask if you’re bothering her or apologize for annoying her. This is probably one of the least attractive things a guy can do. 

If you are hoping she’ll like you back, putting the idea of you bugging her in her head will not help.

8. Do not put her on a pedestal

You may think she wants to be treated like a queen but in reality, she wants to be treated with respect.

Acting like she is way out of your league and like you’re beneath her will only turn her off and make her feel pressure to be perfect. [Read: How to act cool in front of a girl and banish the awkwardness]

9. Do not be inappropriate

This means do not make sexist jokes, do not send unsolicited photos, or ask for sexy photos. This is the last way to get a girl to like you. This doesn’t show confidence but sleaziness. It is not how a decent guy attracts a girl’s attention.

10. Do not act like you’re too good to be friends

The friendzone is not a thing. You are not being punished with her friendship. One of the best ways to get to know her and let her get to know you is through friendship. [Read: How to escape the friend zone – 13 actions that make you desirable]

Acting like she’s rejected your advances with friendship is an insult to her and shows that you aren’t actually interested in her, but her body.

We really hope you understand why these things are all huge no-nos in the getting a girl to like you department. Doing any of these things will not only fail profusely, but it will leave a bad taste in her mouth that will surely spread to other girls.

But, if you are a decent guy who likes her for who she is, you shouldn’t have trouble here. These things are most often used by guys who could care less about the girl they want to like them, but we’re hoping that’s not you. [Read: 18 qualities of a good guy that sets him apart from the lesser men]

What’s the next move?

If you want to understand the real secret behind knowing how to get a girl to like you, you always need to remember to keep your real intentions of wanting to go out with her a secret until you know she really likes you back.

Asking a girl out straight is easy, but once you do that, you have no control over her decision. And if you do like a girl and want to go out with her, why would you want to leave your hopes to chance?

As strange as this may sound, girls like a bit of drama and confusion in their life. Create a friend-or-more-than-a-friend drama and watch the pretty picture unfold while having the ball in your court the whole way.

And if you play your cards right and take it slow, you’ll know how to make a girl like you back without even expressing your feelings to her!

[Read: How to keep a girl interested in you – 30 easy moves to make her want way more of you]

Now that you know how to warm a girl up and understand the real secret behind knowing how to get a girl to like you, just use these steps and win her heart, even before you confess that you like her!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...