You might think that sending a text is easy. It is in some ways, but there are some very strict rules that you shouldn’t avoid when texting a girl.
It’s really easy to creep a girl out, even if you’re just trying to be friendly. After all, it’s not hard to hear one wrong thing and start running. It’s even harder to get a girl to like you simply by texting. Following some rules for texting a girl will help you make her feel more comfortable.
Without gaining her trust and making her more comfortable, it won’t be easy to get her to open up to you. If she feels even the slightest bit uneasy or creeped out, you’ll never stand a chance with her. [Read: Texting anxiety – how to send and receive texts without freaking out]
Knowing how to earn a girl’s trust is what you need to aim for
If a girl doesn’t think she can trust you, she’ll have an issue with you. If she’s feeling scared and uncomfortable around you, it means that you’re creeping her out. This might not be overtly your fault. It could just be that you come across as cold.
You might also be the type who asks way too many questions that are a little too inappropriate. Learning how to earn a girl’s trust will help her feel much more comfortable around you, and you won’t creep her out as much.
The other positive point of getting her to trust you is that she will drop her guard and feel more able to simply be herself. That way, you can get to know her better. These rules for texting a girl will help you achieve that goal. Read: How to earn a girl’s trust the easy way]
Rules for texting a girl so that you don’t freak her out
If you want to have even the slightest chance with a girl, you can’t creep her out. She’ll run for the hills the second you make her feel uncomfortable.
These rules for texting a girl will help you earn her trust and show her that you’re actually a nice guy.
1. Only text if she gives you her number
If you got her number from a friend, you’re already creepy. You should never text a girl unless she’s personally given you her number. You can message her on social media if you’re both friends, but that’s it.
Texting her when she doesn’t know you is very weird and will make her very uncomfortable. [Read: 23 smooth ways to get a girl’s number every single time]
2. Keep the number of compliments low
Compliments are always liked, but you can’t continuously give them, especially if they’re not warranted. For example, telling her that she looks beautiful when you haven’t actually seen her in person is a little odd.
Complimenting her humor right after she told a joke, however, is perfectly fine. You can’t just dish them out, though. It’ll look a little creepy, and she’ll feel weird about it. [Read: 20 flirty texting facts that’ll help you with the ladies]
3. Let her text you first sometimes
Don’t always be the first to text. In the beginning, you may need to initiate the conversation in order for her to get to know you better. If you’re always the one sending messages first, it’s a sign that she’s not really interested.
4. Make her laugh
If you really want to make a girl feel good around you, make her laugh. This opens her up to you, and it’s your best bet for making her trust you. Once she trusts you, you won’t seem as creepy.
Just avoid sex jokes. [Read: Why girls love funny guys and lines to say to make her want to talk more]
5. Give her a way to relate to you
Show her the connection that you two have! It’s one of the biggest rules for texting a girl. If she realizes that you have something in common, she’ll be more likely to trust you.
It’ll make her feel more comfortable knowing that you are alike, even if it’s in a very small way.
6. Show her your sensitive side
Don’t start texting her and talking all about the manly, macho things you do. She won’t be able to relate, and it’s really not attractive.
If you can just be yourself, open up, and tell her some of the more sensitive stuff, she’ll feel a lot more comfortable. [Read: 20 questions to ask her to show her your sensitive side]
However, you do want to avoid spilling your life story. Revealing way too much about your life to someone you don’t know isn’t normal.
7. Leave her wanting more
Don’t constantly text her. In fact, when you’re having a good conversation, tell her that you have to go for a while, but it was great talking to her.
This will leave her wanting to continue that conversation. You’re also complimenting her by telling her that you actually had a great time. The next time you text her, she’ll immediately think about the great conversation you had, and it will make her more likely to text you in the future.
8. Remember to introduce yourself the first time you text!
Just for good measure, since not all girls remember the names of everyone they encounter, introduce yourself. This also gives you a chance to come up with creative ways to make her remember and keep texting you. [Read: How to text a girl for the first time]
9. Keep it short, simple, and straightforward for the first few texts
In the same way that you don’t get too friendly and familiar with someone you just met, keep the first messages clean and simple by not adding too much information that she might not be interested in.
Say what you must say with a little flourish, and keep the familiar tone for later. [Read: 25 flirty questions to ask a girl you like]
10. Use casual topics at first
Don’t text her for the first time and ask how she feels about the current political situation. Start with topics that are easily digestible and answered. If you do send an opening message that is too strong, she may get weirded out.
Starting the texting relationship with casual, introductory topics keeps the messages flowing, and that’s one of the main rules for texting a girl.
11. Check your spelling and grammar
Texting shorthand *aka text-speak* was acceptable in the late 90s when mobile phones had a constrained character limit. But with more powerful phones nowadays, still sticking to unintelligible/compressed words leads to confusion, and you look like you failed English class.
Use proper words when texting her. It makes you look smart, and you convey your thoughts clearly. [Read: Texting etiquette and flirting – 26 rules guys and girls must follow]
12. Be respectful at all times
As mentioned, some guys feel that they can get away with disrespectful text messages because they’re not communicating face-to-face. Being disrespectful not only leads to an awkward confrontation but also lessens the chance for continued communication.
Keep in mind that text messages can be saved and used as evidence for harassment in a court of law. [Read: 15 ways to effortlessly have game with the ladies]
13. Be confident and straightforward in what you want to say
If you want to ask her out, ask her out. If you want to compliment her for something (within reason), then go ahead. Girls love a guy who speaks his mind and directly tells them what he feels.
One of the best rules for texting a girl is not to beat around the bush. Say what you want to say in a respectful way.
14. Reply when the conversation requires it
Replying to a text message is basically good manners. If you tend to reply too late, it seems that you’re not interested in her, so be mindful of your inbox.
15. Don’t be afraid to flirt with her
Start with sweet, not sexual. Once you enter into her domain of trust and confidence, test the waters by sending snappy and playful flirting texts to keep her on her toes. She’ll soon be hooked on texting you. [Read: How to flirt with girls – 25 secrets and 41 lines to seduce her & make her blush]
16. Know when to stop texting
Don’t be the guy that just doesn’t know when to shut up. Don’t keep chatting when she seems uninterested – take the hint.
By carrying on with your chat, you’re simply reducing the chances of her wanting to text you ever again. Knowing when to stop texting is one of the main rules for texting a girl.
17. Be aware of your tone
How you think you’re coming across isn’t always how you actually are. Make sure that your tone isn’t too serious or too light. You need to be somewhere in the middle.
Remember that text messages can easily be misunderstood, and tone is one of the reasons for this. [Read: Communication techniques to finally get them to open up to you]
18. When using the voice-to-text feature, double-check!
If you’re someone who uses the voice-to-text feature on your phone, make sure you read it before hitting send. Sometimes our phones don’t recognize our words properly, and they end up writing all kinds of strange things. That’s not a good look!
19. Come on too strong
If you act needy and desperate right away, she’ll be weirded out. You can’t start out sending pages and pages of text. It’ll read like you’re either very clingy or just generally weird.
Keep your texts relatively short while still getting the message across. Nobody wants to immediately be bombarded with a bunch of texts from someone they don’t really know. [Read: Signs you’re coming on way too strong]
20. Send too many unanswered texts
This is super annoying and creepy. Why would you send text after text to someone who clearly doesn’t want to respond?
Maybe it’s not even that she doesn’t want to. Maybe it’s that she’s busy or working, and you’ve just blown up her phone. It’ll be super overwhelming to her and not at all effective. She’ll take one look at it and be turned off. [Read: Basic rules of double texting and second texts all men should follow]
21. No sex jokes
At least not right away. When a girl doesn’t even know you, hearing sex jokes will just make her think that you only want to have sex with her. No girl wants to feel like an object that you just want to bone.
Avoid jokes of the sexual variety until you actually know her really well. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile, and like you instantly]
22. Ask her to hang out right away
You can’t only be talking to someone for a couple days before asking them to hang out. You’ll need to know her pretty well. She needs to feel 100% comfortable before you should ask.
Asking her too soon might ruin everything because it’ll come across as pretty creepy. [Read: How to take things slow so you don’t ruin a good thing]
23. No unwanted dick pics
Never. There is absolutely no reason to ever send a dick picture to a girl you’re texting. Unless you two are in a relationship and she asks for one, don’t send one.
It’s not attractive. It’s not a turn-on. Keep it in your pants.
24. No drinking and texting
Texting girls while under the influence of alcohol is never a good idea. We’re pretty sure that, depending on the level of your intoxication, you’ll end up humiliating yourself by saying something stupid and overtly sexual.
And that’s if your motor skills still allow you to type. [Read: How to avoid the awkward drama of drunk texting]
25. Text her too much
Don’t text her like you’re an NBA courtside commentator with minute-by-minute updates. Texting too much makes you look like you’re desperate for attention, trying too hard, and creepy.
On the receiving end of too many text messages, it feels annoying and overwhelming to reply to a mass of text messages.
As much as possible, send the same amount of texts that you get from her. [Read: How often should you text a girl? The complete guide]
Ask her if she’s okay first. She might be going through something. Getting angry with her for not replying, especially if you’re not in a relationship, is downright outrageous.
It will not end well.
27. Flood her with emoticons
Don’t use emojis like punctuation marks. Too many emojis make your text messages hard to read, and your message loses context.
Think of emojis as a sort of flourish to text messages. Using too many makes it lose its appeal. [Read: Texting etiquette – 20 unwritten rules of savvy flirting]
28. Start texting her at unreasonable times
This could be whenever she’s at work, school, or about to go to sleep. Short, one-shot messages are fine, but starting a drawn-out conversation whenever she’s busy only disappoints you and annoys her.
29. Overwhelm her in a text conversation
Even though it’s texting, it’s still a conversation. Conversations call for both participants to take the roles of both the speaker and the listener.
If you’re talking about a particular topic, stay on that topic until there’s nothing to say about it anymore. Don’t introduce new topics in the middle of her reply. It’s just like talking over her in an actual conversation. [Read: Are you texting too much? Signs she thinks you’re a clingy texter]
30. Use inappropriate language
Particularly, don’t use words that attack her femininity. If you’re the type that thinks that all girls fall for bad boys in one form or another, maybe forget about texting at all. [Read: 15 text conversation starters for the shy and socially awkward]
31. Live by the three-day rule
The three-day rule is nothing but game-playing. You do not have to wait three days before texting someone. Text if you want to text, but don’t overdo it.
32. Forget to call her by her name
If you don’t mention her name in your first text or any subsequent texts, she’s going to think that she’s one of many and that you’re not texting her because you like her. It’s common courtesy to at least mention someone’s name! [Read: What your pet name says about your relationship]
33. Text back too quickly
You might be eager to keep the text conversation flowing, but it shows that you sat around waiting for her to reply with nothing better to do. Show her that you have a life, and don’t hold your phone in your hand 24/7!
That doesn’t mean that you need to play by the rules of how long to wait, but don’t always reply within seconds.
34. Stay on one subject for too long
Don’t bore the poor girl! Talk about something, know when the conversation is over, and then either end it or move on to another subject.
After all, there’s only so much you can say about one particular thing before you start repeating yourself! [Read: How not to be boring and get people excited to talk and be around you]
35. Bombard her with lots of questions
This is not a text version of a job interview. If you constantly send her a stream of questions, she’s going to feel like she’s being interrogated. Questions can definitely help to guide a conversation, but you should pepper them in evenly throughout the chat.
Follow these rules for texting a girl for a potential date
You might think that there shouldn’t be rules to talking to a person. In many ways, you might be right. However, when you don’t know someone, there’s a lot of potential for misunderstanding. You want to show yourself as a great person rather than someone who is going to instantly creep her out.
These rules for texting a girl will help your personality to shine through in all the right ways. Then, you can start to think about asking her on an in-person date!
[Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]
The rules for texting a girl aren’t really that hard. Be yourself, make her laugh, and don’t send any dick pictures. Making a girl feel like she can trust you is really all it takes.