Dates require conversations. And conversations are usually ushered along by a series of questions. Oftentimes, the first layer of questions have to do with mostly innocuous things like where you work, what you do, what music you like or what sports you like to play. Later on, when you’re at ease with each other’s company, more in-depth questions start to arise.
But like most other things in life, questions can either be completely innocent and harmless or downright offensive and inappropriate. When you ask the latter any time within your date, that’s when you can expect your date to go downhill at an alarming speed.
What not to ask your date, ever!
Curiosity isn’t a crime, especially when you’re getting to know someone. However, there are times when you should let your curiosity slide, just to ensure you don’t end up blurting out something completely uncalled for. Here are some of the questions that you may be tempted to ask, but you never should, especially if it’s your first date.
#1 How much money do you make? Of course, we all would like to never have to worry about money, but that’s just not the way life is for 99% of us. If you’re on a date, you can somehow assume that the person you’re with can at least pay for their half of the expenses. For now, that should be enough. It’s not your business to know how much they earn annually, how much they paid for their car or how much their mortgage is. Save that for when things get a little more serious. [Read: 11 biggest dating turn offs for guys]
#2 How many people have you slept with? Not only is it rude, but it will also put your date on the spotlight. In all honesty, it will make them feel like you’re prying too much into their life. Unless you’re already in a committed relationship *and even then, it shouldn’t really matter*, the number of people your date has bumped uglies with should not concern you in the slightest. [Read: 24 worst things guys can say on a first date]
#3 Do you want to have a threesome? Unless you met your date at some huge swingers party, or on Tinder and went buck-wild, then there is no reason to ask your date if they’d be open to having a threesome. Asking questions as ridiculous as this one just makes you look like you’re only on the date for having a wild night between the sheets… with a potential third person involved.
#4 Is your best friend single? Usually when someone asks you out on a date, it means they are interested in you. They take the time to plan a great date night, and it’s something you both look forward to. It will all go out the window the minute you start to show interest in someone else, particularly your date’s best friend. It will then get your date wondering if you only went out on the date for the purpose of getting closer to someone else. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for women]
#5 Why do you look better in your photos? Thanks to technology, we can filter our photos as much as we want, and look just like the models on the cover of Vogue. The downfall to editing our photos all the time is that when we meet people in person, we may not always look like our profile pictures. Unless you’re complimenting your date on their superb Instagram filtering or Photoshop manipulation skills, this question sounds a lot like a thinly-veiled insult.
#6 Do you have any STDs? It’s true that it’s important to know if you might end up sleeping with someone who has an STD. But come on, don’t ask it outright! If you’re at the stage where sleeping with each other is still far off into the future, leave the STD talk for a time when you’re already considering getting busy in the bedroom.
#7 Have you ever cheated on someone? Okay, so this one is a bit tricky. Some people are quick to divulge this information, particularly if either of you mention some details about your past relationships. However, asking your date outright if they’ve ever been unfaithful might catch them off-guard and make them think you’re already assuming that they’re the cheating type. That kind of mistrust so early in your blossoming romance will only make your potential relationship wither and die.
#8 What did you do wrong to make your previous relationship end? You know the saying, “never assume because you’ll make an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘me’.” Don’t ever assume that your date is the one who messed up their last relationship, as it’s very presumptuous. Instead of asking this question, phrase it more tactfully like, “You’re such a great person, I wonder why your last relationship didn’t work out so well.”
#9 How long has it been since you last had sex? Just like asking if your date has STDs or how many people they’ve had sex with, this question only makes you look like you’re way more interested in sex than anything else. If someone were to ask you this, you’d probably think they’re snooping around for potential rivals for your company and thus, make them look desperate. If you don’t want to look desperate, don’t ask this.
#10 Do you love me? Now, THIS is desperate with a capital D! If someone loves you, you shouldn’t feel the need to ask them outright. Even if you think your date might be too shy to say the words, forcing them to answer this potentially uncomfortable question may only end in one of two ways.
One, your date may love you, but you’ve robbed them of actually coming up with their own terms to confess their love. And two, your date might not love you, and this can only end with them thinking that you’re just so presumptuous that you had to ask this question. [Read: 10 reasons saying the L-word too soon sucks]
Dating is exciting, mostly because of the whole world of knowledge, opinions, thoughts and ideas you can get from someone you’re attracted to. However, all of that can disappear in the blink of an eye with just one tactless question that you may innocently ask on a date. You don’t want to risk that, do you?
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