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13 Signs You Should End Your Long Distance Relationship

signs you need to end your long distance relationship

The hardest part of a long distance relationship is the relationship itself. Are you thinking of breaking it off with your long distance lover?

When there is chemistry between two people, it is hard when geography suddenly starts standing in their way. But there are a lot of long distance relationships between people who share the same bed, which means being close is a matter of emotions, not geography.

One can say long distance relationships have a short future, while others claim how this challenging situation can enhance the relationship because both partners are trying harder to make it work. Some might even prefer these relationships because of that.

The success of a long distance relationship is dependent on many factors, primarily on psychological ones, such as the capability to delay gratification, the willingness to make plans and long term goals, the ability to improvise and feel connected with someone who is not physically around, and the readiness to make it work in the times of uncertainty. [Read: 10 survival tips for every long distance relationship]

Far from the eyes = far from the heart is true when it comes to passion and immature love. It is accurate for those who have not developed the previously mentioned psychological characteristics. If you or your partner are among them, it is best to recognize it in time and save yourselves from hardship.

When being in a long distance relationship feels like you’re grasping in the dark, you may try to justify it by blaming the distance for all your problems. At that point, it is important to be rational and determine if maybe those exhausting obstacles are rooted in the core of a relationship and have nothing to do with separation.

Should you end your long distance relationship?

Here is a list of indicators that show when a long distance relationship needs to come to an end. If you identify with more than six, it is time to leave your emotional baggage at the terminal, and move on with your life journey.

#1 You stopped making plans together. People believe they should end a long distance relationship only if abstinence becomes a nightmare. But it’s not important if you’re not sleeping in the same bed, as long as you are dreaming together.

If you don’t know when the next time you’re going to hug each other is going to be or when the long distance scenario is going to end, it is probably time to give up on hitting the snooze button on the future of your relationship. It’s never going to wake up.

#2 You don’t chat on Skype/Whatsapp/Viber as often and as elaborately as you did before. Thanks to the internet, communication in these relationships should not be a barrier. At first, when you or your significant other moved to another country, it felt like you got yourself in a relationship with a computer. After a while, you started asking yourself: Where did all those kissing emojis go?

However, if you feel like you are not sharing enough and neither of you wants to report the lack of communication, it is an unambiguous sign that you have slowly given up.

#3 Suspicions are sucking all of your energy. Chatting 24/7 does not mean everything is fine between the two of you. Checking up on each other every hour sounds more like doubtful stalking than a caring gesture. If them not being online for three hours puts you in an anxious position and you’re worrying about whether they’re doing something behind your distant back because they know they won’t get caught, it means this relationship is too much for you.

While distance may feel like the obvious culprit in your constant need to check up on your partner, part of the problem most likely lies in your lack of trust.

#4 With each visit, there is less and less intimacy. Having sex every time you get together is not enough. Intimacy has nothing to do with being naked in bed. In the beginning, you were thinking of how the long distance implies that your love is so big that it cannot be put in just one city, but now it’s more like your love has entered an empty street.

If you feel alienated after not seeing each other for a long time, it is better to end it now than wait until one of you tries to find intimacy in another part of the world, in the other part of your heart. [Read: 12 reasons why so many couples drift apart in relationships]

#5 You would rather spend your money on clothes than buy a plane ticket. A straightforward sign you had a priority shift.

#6 One is jealous when the other is having a good time. Deprivation of physical contact can make people suffer, so they try to build a strong friend support system and distract themselves with socializing and other hobbies. If your partner refuses to understand why you’re spending so much time trying to relax and have fun on the other part of the world, they should not be a part of your world anymore. [Read: 17 big signs of a jealous and possessive partner]

#7 You spend more time talking about irrelevant stuff than discussing your relationship. There is not much to say. You are afraid to say something that will turn the physical distance into a psychological one. You are communicating problems by implicitly tweeting about them or liking the new profile pic of your ex. You are progressively delaying scheduled Skype calls, or you constantly make excuses to each other about how you don’t have time to talk.

In this case, it seems the whole space-time continuum is against you. Maybe you should just go with the flow and end things. [Read: 10 things you should never do in a long distance relationship]

#8 You don’t feel like you are supported. It seems like you are the only one fighting against the distance. Every time you are on Skype, it’s all about them. Somehow, they always manage to manipulate you into thinking that their situation is more burdensome than yours.

If you try to talk about it and your partner does not acknowledge constructive criticism, it is evidence that they are not even trying to understand you. Well, even a shoulder to cry on needs a shoulder to cry on. If your partner can’t understand that, it’s time to leave this relationship.

#9 Your partner is always projecting. Many poets cherished longing as a powerful feeling, but the never ending craving may be dangerous, leading you to overlook relevant aspects of your relationship that you would usually perceive as an issue if you were in a regular one.

Due to the physical distance, your partner may have idealized you or built up unreal expectations of you or even started acting like they don’t even know the real you. If you feel like your significant other is attaching their negativity to the things you do and the things you say, there is a great chance they are projecting their own insecurities about your relationship. Be aware of how much of it you can take, especially if they are not willing to become aware of it.

#10 The romantic surprises are gone. Skype is not enough. If you don’t receive love letters sprinkled with their perfume or a book with the underlined sentences that reminded them of you, it is no big surprise if the relationship doesn’t last much longer.

Take note, romance doesn’t always have to come in the form of a grand gesture. Sometimes, simply saying “I love you” or sending you cute pictures that reminded them of you can be romantic. But if you notice that even the tiny gestures of sweetness are gone, it may be a sign that their affection for you is too. [Read: 10 perfect songs for long distance relationships]

#11 You don’t engage in phone sex or cybersex anymore. Distance, you, and your significant other are having a threesome, that is for sure. But if you suddenly stopped having any kind of online sex without talking about it and making an explicit decision to stop, it means that the product of your chemistry is close to its expiration date. [Read: 10 naughty games for long distance relationships]

#12 One of you cheats. Does your long distance relationship seem like a Wi-Fi connection – as soon as you move away, the signal gets lost, you don’t know how to change the password, and someone else connects to it? If one of you has found comfort in someone else and decided to stay silent about it, don’t cheat yourself. You know what the right thing to do is.

#13 You are drowning in pessimism. You have as many negative thoughts about your relationship as there are kilometers between the two of you. If you’re overanalyzing every instance of your relationship, predicting betrayal, comparing yourself with similar couples who did not make it, or you just don’t believe the two of you will be able to bond again, it is a clear sign your long distance relationship is far away from its most important vehicle – optimism.

It is normal to have dark thoughts here and there, but your chronic gloom indicates that you have to find a light with someone else.

[Read: How to break up with someone you love and not hurt them]

Don’t beat yourself up if you feel like your long distance relationship isn’t working. Not all relationships work out, long distance or otherwise. At the end, a good thing about breaking up when in a long distance relationship is that you will not have to deal with seeing your ex on the street.

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DISCUSSION

5 thoughts on “13 Signs You Should End Your Long Distance Relationship”

  1. daisy22 says:

    Man this can be tough long distance love can be work and over time it can wear on your life and your love. When it says far from the eyes=far from the heart that can be true or it can make you do everything in your power to be with that person. However when suspicions start to creep in they can be too much to deny. What are they doing? Why are we not talking or am I getting your voicemail when you used to pick up? Questions that are costly to any long distance relationship and affecting communication can bring a greater distance to this unique relationship. If you have the stamina which I have shown off and on in the past you can make it work. You can bridge the gap maybe end up closer together.

  2. Mary says:

    Trust is such a big thing and something I have a lot of problems with. My boyfriend moved away to be in the military, but we talk all the time online. I can’t help but think something is up though. He’s so far away, doing different things, with new people… how long before he moves on without me? I’m so afraid of it being over forever, but he’s always telling me that things are okay. I dunno who to believe. My gut tells me something is wrong and you should always trust what’s going on in there, right?

  3. Viv says:

    Sigh. If there is one thing that I have learned about long distance love is that it can never survive without trust. My ex was working in a far away state and I was still studying in Uni. We do see each other on holidays when we can but the distance was very hard to bear. It was good that we had FB, Snapchat. and FaceTime to look forward to but it soon began to dwindle. I guess it was because we grew tired of trying to keep up the relationship. Eventually, he confessed to me that he got someone pregnant and had to end the relationship. Needless to say, I was devastated. As the article say, trust is a great factor in any relationship. Sadly, that was one thing our relationship lacked.

  4. movei says:

    You both chose to be in a long distance relationship and it’s high time that you realize that’s it’s not always going to be roses and posies that you can smell every damn day to make you feel better. It takes a great deal of effort. It’s not going to turn out the way you want if you don’t put in hard work into it. I’m in a long distance relationship right now and we fight and we have those so called signs but you know what? We’re still together because we chose to. We have really great communications skills with each other because we are practically best friends turned into lovers. Just choose the perfect partner and you will be fine, trust me. The hard part is choosing the perfect partner, that part you would have to find out for yourself on how you would find the one. Luckily, I didn’t have to do anything because she was always there and I didn’t have a problem trying to make her mine. We have had a long distance relationship for 5 years now and it hasn’t broken us, it actually made us even stronger.

  5. Gino says:

    Wit all of that being said, I still believe that my partner and I are different from the rest of long distance relationship couples because we set our priorities right and we can wait for each other. We have this telepathic way of communicating with each other, like, let me give you an example of how it works. We have problems with time zone differences and sometimes, I want to tell her something really important but she’s not online and I want to test out our telepathy. Instead of calling her phone to wake her up, I telepathically call her mind. We have done this so many times and it really works every sing time. The next minute or so, she would be chatting me with what’s going on. I just love it. Sometimes we could have moments where we are just not spending enough time now together online but we really don’t suspect one another of cheating and it’s really because we have established our foundation of love way before we got into this long distance relationship thingy and we make it seem like a piece of cake now.

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