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15 Highs and Lows of Dating Someone Smarter Than You

dating someone smarter

Should you date someone smarter or someone dumber? There’s good and bad on both sides, so use this guide and ask yourself who’d be a good fit for you!

Dating an intelligent person can be a double-edged sword. You get the perks of having a girlfriend/boyfriend with a high IQ, but you are also subjected to the disadvantages of dating someone who knows more than you do.

Confused over whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing? Learn the highs and lows of dating someone with an SAT score higher than yours, and ask yourself what you’d prefer yourself.

Let’s face it, intelligence is the hottest new criteria when it comes to dating. Being physically attractive is not enough anymore. More and more people are gauging their partners based on their conversation skills, interest depth and intellectual achievements.

It’s not difficult to find your own Mark Zuckerberg, but do you know what you’re really signing up for when you’re dating someone smarter than you?

How do you know if your partner is smarter than you?

What makes a person smart? Is it their grade point average? Is it their ability to analyze problems and solve them efficiently? Or is it their vast knowledge of nerdy fandoms?

No one can judge a person’s intelligence through these things alone. You have to go through rigorous standardized tests and get checked by credible psychologists in order to validate the level of your IQ.

Knowing a person well enough helps in determining whether they are smart or not as well. Growing up with a person can tell you a lot about their intelligence. High grades, published papers and practical application achievements can also show you the depth of a person’s intelligence. If they are confirmed to have a three-digit IQ in the genius range, then they are definitely smarter than most people.

If you and your partner are both on the same level intellectually, I guess the comparison will be based solely on who knows more than the other. Whether they got high grades in school or graduated Magna Cum Laude, a person is only as smart as you make them out to be.

9 perks of dating a person smarter than you

The advantages outweigh the disadvantages in a situation like this, primarily because smarter people can help you become a better person intellectually. There are a lot of good things to consider when you’re dating someone smarter than you.

#1 They solve problems faster. It’s not just their intelligence that gives them an edge when it comes to problem solving. By taking the higher position in terms of intellect, your partner will assume the role of problem-solver in the relationship. Although it won’t work 100% of the time, you can rest assured that they are tackling challenges with a vast arsenal of knowledge behind them.

#2 You can ask them anything and they will almost always have an answer. It’s like having a human Google search bar at the breakfast table. Aside from knowing a lot of things, smart people tend to work harder to provide you with information. When they feel that their intelligence is being challenged, they will go through their stores of backed up information in order to provide an answer to any random question.

#3 Having them around makes you want to be smarter. It’s human nature when a person competes with the people around them. In a relationship, this is doubly so because a person will want to be on the same level as their partner. Instead of resenting your partner for their intelligence, use the situation as a catalyst to strive to become better in your chosen field.

#4 You will rarely need a calculator. Smart people have the multiplication table tattooed in their subconscious. Let’s admit that as adults in a tech age, we have forgotten how to solve simple problems without consulting our smartphones. Smart people still know the square root of 144. If not, they will make more of an effort to find the answer just to prove that they do know it.

#5 You learn something new every day. Smart people have an insatiable appetite for learning. Whether it’s about a newly discovered quark, a dip in the stock market or a weird inscription found in a bathroom downtown. They love learning about new things and with that enthusiasm comes the joy of sharing it with someone they love.

#6 You are theoretically safer in their presence. They can think of solutions to get you out of a locked room or solve a math problem that could prevent you from getting crushed in an earthquake. They have the capacity to think quickly on their feet. This is one of the traits that can come in handy in any emergency.

#7 Your parents will love your partner. It’s easier to overlook tattoos and body piercings if your boyfriend/girlfriend can recite Shakespeare’s Sonnet 14 or quote Stephen Hawking and dissect his theories.

#8 At least one of your kids will win a Nobel Prize. Although there are no studies that ultimately confirm the direct passing of intelligence through genes, evidence suggests that it can be nurtured through their environment. It’s okay to hope for the best, though!

#9 Bragging rights. ‘Nuff said.

6 pitfalls of dating someone smarter than you

It’s not technically the worst-case scenario, but dating someone smarter can open up the floodgates of a dam filled with repressed insecurity. If you have a low tolerance for annoying clever facts on a day-to-day basis, it won’t bode well for your relationship either. So, why is dating a person smarter than you not a good idea?

#1 They can be exasperating. This is basically the most well known complaint of people who are dating smarter people. Some smart people can be overconfident, stubborn and self-righteous. If you know how to handle these types, go ahead and enjoy your daily dose of existential love quarrels.

#2 They can be pushy. They see the potential in everyone. If they think you can do better, they will almost always do everything in their power to “motivate” you. This can sometimes come off as suffocating and can also instill a fear of disappointing your partner.

#3 They can get lost in their own world. Intelligent people have a tendency to space out more times than the average person. This can pose a problem in terms of communication. You may think that they’re ignoring you, but the truth is they are just thinking.

#4 Your priorities can clash. Although your careers are usually a separate subject, being smarter may mean that your partner has a more mentally challenging job. This can stress them out and make them disregard your needs in the process. Try to understand that they feel they need to prove themselves more because they assume that it is expected of them.

#5 You want to prove yourself to them for the wrong reasons. It’s akin to the situation of dating a supermodel. Although they loved you for being the average Joe or Jane that you are, you still can’t help but think that you should have harder abs or a better haircut. When dating a smart person, some people are determined to prove that they can be just as smart while forgetting who they are in the process.

#6 You can’t be smarter than they are. As I’ve mentioned above, the intelligence of a person cannot be judged easily. In a normal everyday situation, the person who is right is labeled as the smart one. If your partner is used to knowing everything all the time, they can take your being right as a slight to their intelligence. There’s nothing worse than seeing a loved one’s face after you proved them wrong using Google.

Smart or not, your partner is someone that you have to live or spend time with on a day-to-day basis. You have to appreciate them for the good things and understand them and help them out through the bad. Every relationship consists of two people who have their own talents, skills and attributes to add to the table.

[Read: Should a girl dumb herself down just to impress a guy?]

So smart or not, don’t feel threatened or overconfident by the highs and lows of dating someone smarter than you. Just because your partner has more IQ points than you do does not make you any less of a person, and more importantly, any less of a lover!

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Danielle Anne
Danielle Anne
Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...
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