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Relationship with a Polar Opposite: 26 Truths & Must-Knows to Make It Work

Some people think that opposites attract, and others say they don’t. So, here’s how to make it work with your polar opposite in a relationship.

Relationship with a Polar Opposite

Some people think it’s good to find someone your polar opposite when it comes to relationships. The rule of attraction has always been that opposites attract. If you find someone too much like you, you’ll get bored.

But how much of this is true and how much of the law of attraction remains with the application of science? We’ve sought to uncover just how dating someone your polar opposite affects your relationship.

Do opposites attract in relationships? 

Yes, opposites can and do attract in relationships. However, not always – and the relationships don’t always last long term. 

But when polar opposites do come together, the attraction might be because the other person seems new and exciting. [Read: Do opposites attract or push each other away? The must-know truths]

For example, the appeal of an outgoing extrovert to a shy introvert might be refreshing. They are socially bold and courageous, which the introvert might wish they were too.

The “polar opposite” might also be something that is “forbidden.” For example, the person could be from another race, class, socioeconomic background, educational status, or different in any other way that your family might not expect you to be with.

When the polar opposites first meet, there might be very strong physical chemistry. But this is only lust. [Read: What is lust? 25 typical signs to look for and ways to turn it into love]

While strong sexual desire can be healthy in a relationship, if there are no emotions, intimacy, and commonalities, it won’t last long term.

After the initial stages of dating, the ways that you are polar opposite become more obvious. This can even be intriguing to the two people for a while. But that’s because their differences haven’t proven to be obstacles in the relationship yet.

Polar opposites make for a more difficult road in romance as time goes on. [Read: Should we break up? 35 signs it’s over and past the point of no return]

Do polar opposites work in a relationship? 

Just because polar opposite relationships aren’t always easy doesn’t mean they can’t work for some people. 

Probably the biggest thing both people need to do is understand the differences between each other when going into the relationship. This can be tricky because, of course, you don’t know someone very well in the beginning.

But as time goes on, you’ll start to notice more and more differences. They shouldn’t be ignored, but rather talked about. [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship and ways to fix a lack of it]

Discuss a plan for how both people will make adjustments so that the relationship can be successful.

For example, if one person is a night owl and the other is a morning person, how will they work their schedules so they won’t be disturbed by their sleeping schedules? 

By understanding the differences and coming up with a plan together, the differences won’t be as much of a barrier to a happy relationship. [Read: Tumultuous relationship – 20 signs you’re in one and the best ways to fix it]

The importance of finding like-minded people

Most agree that we usually prefer to spend our time surrounded by people who have similarities with us. We all like the same foods, the same music, and even the same hobbies. And that’s a great thing!

It’s important to surround yourself with people who value the same things and have the same morals as you. It keeps you motivated and supported. It’s healthy to talk about similar interests and engage with people who think just like you.

Can a relationship really work if you’re polar opposite?

This is the age-old question plaguing people in relationships—or trying to be in relationships—for as long as time. [Read: Feeling unsure about your relationship – why you feel it and how to fix it]

How different can two people be before it’s too different to maintain a healthy and happy relationship?

There are several things to consider when choosing a life partner. After all, they are someone you’re going to spend the majority of your time with. 

In order to uncover if a relationship really works with your polar opposite, we have to decipher if these 15 truths prove that they can.

1. Polar opposites entertain you more

Not only will you always be learning something new about them, but you’ll always be so entertained with their life because it’s so much different than your own. [Read: Having a great relationship with your total opposite]

You’ll have something interesting to catch your eye at every turn.

2. You’ll get into more little arguments

Arguing is a healthy part of any relationship, but if you’re dating your polar opposite they’re going to be an ongoing part of your relationship, too. 

You’ll be picking little fights here and there simply because your opinions and tastes differ so much. If you’re not good at handling arguments, this type of relationship may not be for you. [Read: Are relationship fights normal? 15 signs you’re fighting too often]

3. They’ll get you out of your comfort zone 

Most of us stay stuck in this little cocoon of comfort allowing us to live our everyday lives as we wish. 

However, when you date your polar opposite, you’ll be thrust into a different world completely. If you’re not down for being a little uncomfortable at times, a relationship with your polar opposite won’t really work.

4. You’ll introduce them to new things and vice versa

Polar opposites view life differently. Different things entertain them. [Read: Couples bucket list – 20 things every couple needs to do]

So, if you date your polar opposite, you’re going to be introduced to many new and exciting things. You might end up loving them.

5. Sometimes your opinions may even change

You may be so far in your cocoon you don’t realize how much your opinions might differ if you were introduced to other viewpoints. Your polar opposite even changes these opinions, and you’ll take up a different view on life.

6. You’ll get unique advice

The advice you usually receive is from people with the same mindset as you. Basically, it’s like you’re getting advice from yourself, and maybe that’s why you never follow it. [Read: How to accept your differences for relationship success]

But if you get into a relationship with your polar opposite, they’re going to give you the advice you wouldn’t normally get. It could make a huge difference in your life.

7. Your routine breaks up

Your polar opposite is not going to have the same schedule as you. You’re going to have to break up your routine if you date them. If you can’t handle a bumpy schedule then this type of relationship might not work out.

8. You’ll be less judgmental

Your polar opposite is going to have you seeing and doing things you never would have been exposed to. This causes you to stop judging others for doing things you’ve never tried. You’ll take on a more open-minded view of life. [Read: The rules of attraction as explained by science]

9. You’ll find new characteristics you never knew you liked

Maybe your polar opposite does something you find super attractive, but you never would have realized it before! Dating them opens your eyes to other characteristics you might find appealing in a person.

10. And you’ll also find qualities you can’t stand

The truth is, you’re polar opposites for a reason. There are going to be times when you can’t stand something they do or say. Whether or not you choose to continue a relationship with someone is up to you.

11. You’ll have to give up a lot more

Since a relationship with a polar opposite takes you away from your likes and hobbies, you’ll have to give up some more time and attention to the things they enjoy, too. If you’re someone stuck in your ways, this could be hard to get past.

12. You may feel more complete

Your polar opposite fills different voids in your life you didn’t even know were empty. [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]

If you’re shy and they’re outgoing, it’ll pull you into that atmosphere and help you feel more complete and like a more well-rounded individual.

13. You’ll get great at compromising

Compromising is a skill. Some people are absolutely terrible at it. But if you date your polar opposite, you’ll be a professional at compromise in no time.

Dating someone with different opinions and hobbies than you leaves room for compromise on what you’re going to do for date night and even what you’ll have for dinner. This leads to opportunities to practice your compromising skills. [Read: Compromise in a relationship – 17 ways to give and not feel like you’ve lost]

14. You’ll never have to share food

More than likely, your polar opposite doesn’t like the same foods as you. This is PERFECT if you’re someone who doesn’t like sharing. If they don’t like your food, you won’t have to give up any of your delicious meals to them and you can be completely satisfied with it.

15. You’ll never really be bored

This is the best point for anyone who usually ends relationships simply because of boredom. If that sounds like you, try dating your polar opposite because that might be the best relationship you’ll have. [Read: Bored with your relationship – 34 honest reasons, signs and how to fix it]

16. You’ll sharpen your communication skills

When someone is your polar opposite, you will probably have to work harder to understand them. And in order to accomplish this, you both will have to have good communication skills. 

So, if it’s not something you’re used to doing, then you are going to have to learn to do it if you want your relationship to be healthy and successful.

17. They’ll calm you down or motivate you

If one person is a Type A personality and the other one is Type B, each person can complement the other’s weakness. [Read: Type A & Type B personality – 69 traits, the good, bad, and who’s a better date]

A Type A person can motivate and inspire a Type B to do more in life. And a Type B can encourage a Type A person to calm down and relax once in a while.

18. You’ll become a more empathetic person 

Many people can only see life from their own perspective. But when you’re in a relationship with your polar opposite, you’re practically forced to see it from theirs. This can make you into a more empathetic person and able to see things from other people’s perspectives.

19. You’ll know that your relationship is based on more than just surface-level things in common

Usually, when people are attracted to each other and start dating, it’s because of surface-level things. [Read: 46 shallow traits of a superficial person who’ll only use and discard you]

For example, they think they are hot, fun, and have a lot of money. But you also need to match up on values and worldviews too if you want to have a successful long-term relationship.

20. You’ll see things differently

Because your polar opposite will see situations from an opposite perspective, they will give you better advice than you can give yourself. Even if it’s not better, it contributes to a more well-rounded opinion of what’s actually happening and what the best course of action usually is.

Ways to help you make it work with your polar opposite

If you are madly in love with your polar opposite, you can make it work. It won’t always be easy, but if you do these things, it can be more smooth sailing for the two of you. [Read: Toxic relationship – what it is, 107 signs, causes, and types of love that hurt you]

1. Take the relationship in strides

You can’t be controlling or try to change your polar opposite. That’s because they’re naturally your polar opposite!

So, you are just going to have to take the relationship in strides. Accept them for who they are and relax about everything.

2. Challenge each other in a healthy way

Just because you are polar opposites doesn’t mean that either one of you is better than the other. You can have complementary strengths and weaknesses. For example, if one is more adventurous, then encourage your partner to be more with you. And vice versa.

3. Embrace your independence

Many people have this idea that just because you are a couple means that you need to spend 24/7 together. That’s easy enough to do when you are very similar. [Read: Spirited steps to be independent in a relationship and love better]

But when you’re not, it would be very healthy for you both to be more independent from each other – at least from time to time.

4. Support each other

When someone isn’t like you, it’s easy to be judgmental. But you can’t do that if you want the relationship to succeed long-term. You have to be supportive of each other in everything you do. This is true of all couples, but it’s especially true for polar opposites.

5. Respect their boundaries

Everyone should have their own personal boundaries. And drawing and respecting boundaries are very important when you’re in a relationship with someone who is very different from you. [Read: How to set boundaries in a relationship – 39 rules for healthy love]

So, don’t be selfish. Understand that your partner has their needs, as you do too.

6. Prepare for change

If you’ve never been in a relationship with someone who is the polar opposite of you, then you have a lot to prepare for. And one of those things is change.

You won’t have the same kind of relationships as in the past, so be prepared to do some changing yourself so you can compromise a little more than usual.

[Read: Do opposites attract or do they push each other away?]

The truth about whether or not a relationship works with your polar opposite is entirely up to how many differences you can handle. Consider these truths about dating a polar opposite to help you determine if it’ll work for you.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...