Becoming Facebook Official is clearly defined by changing your relationship status on the social media platform from “single” to “in a relationship.” For others, it’s by posting a picture of their significant other, either during a date or simply with a loving caption.
Why do some people feel the need to become Facebook Official?
Each person has a different reason why they feel the need to request this from their loved one. You can’t categorize wanting to be Facebook Official under one collective need, because the reasons vary, and rightly so; you have to know which ones are beneficial for your relationship.
#1 So their friends and family from different places can see updates about their personal lives. Social media keeps us all connected, and this is one of the many reasons why posting something personal can be a good thing.
#2 To show people that it’s okay to share your experiences, without the fear of being judged or scrutinized. Do what you want. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to post about you and your SO on social media.
#3 So that you and your partner can show each other how proud you are of being together. Being proud of your SO is not equivalent to bragging. You have to look at your intent. Are you doing this so that people will know you have an awesome boyfriend, or are you doing this because you want people to know how awesome your boyfriend is? There’s a big difference. Think about that.
#1 Wanting attention and validation. More likes and comments won’t guarantee a satisfying or happy relationship. [Read: 16 attention whore signs to keep an eye on]
#2 Because your friends or your family told you it was necessary. Just because someone else says it’s the right thing to do, doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing for you.
#3 Your partner said you’re not being a good boyfriend/girlfriend when you refused. This is not the basis of how well a couple treats each other. Yes, you can humor your partner, but are you really willing to let your partner judge the success of your relationship on whether or not you’re willing to click a tab that says, “in a relationship”?
#1 Not trusting your partner. Becoming Facebook Official is not a contract stating that your partner is unavailable. Your promise to each other is what matters most. If you feel the need to post your relationship status, just so no one else will flirt with your partner, think again. It’s the person’s intentions you should be considering, not their social media profile.
#2 Making someone else feel bad. If you want to make your ex or your partner’s ex jealous, then you’re doing this for all the wrong reasons. If you dislike someone and want to rub their single status in their face, you are, once again, doing this for the wrong reason.
#3 To make your partner feel good about him/herself. If you’re just doing this to make your partner feel better about him/herself, you need to question why your partner feels this way at all. Changing your relationship status on Facebook is not going to change your partner’s insecurities. [Read: Dating vs. in a relationship – 14 signs to know your true status]
Social media relationships and men
Usually, when you ask a guy when it’s okay to finally become Facebook Official, their answer is that they don’t decide; their girlfriends do. But that’s just a few people out of many. When most men stop to consider the importance of becoming Facebook Official, they don’t think it’s a big deal at all.
This means that they will either agree to become Facebook Official without any complaints, or not bother at all if the decision is left up to them. Some women think it’s important for a guy to change their relationship status, while others are perfectly happy with posting pictures of their SOs.
Still, there are a lot of men who think being Facebook Official is necessary, and we’re here to break down the when’s and how’s of it all.
When do men think it’s okay to become Facebook Official?
This doesn’t just apply to men. Even women have different thoughts about when and how you should become Facebook Official. It’s not a gender-motivated action; the reasons are based on social or interpersonal feelings within the relationship.
For transparency’s sake, here are the times when it’s most appropriate to broach the subject and finally express the confirmation of your relationship status on social media.
#1 When you’ve been dating for more than a month *exclusively*. When you’re seeing someone on a regular basis, i.e. twice or thrice a week, it’s more than enough time to decide whether or not you’ve decided to date exclusively. Once you do, it’s okay to finally talk about telling people that you’re seeing each other, through a post or status update on Facebook.
#2 When you’ve met each other’s friends or family. Guys don’t like surprising their friends and family with news of a strange woman on their profile. They feel that it’s better to get these things out of the way in person, rather than announce it on social media.
#3 When you’re sure that you’re committed to this person. There is nothing worse than changing your relationship status on Monday and then reverting it back to “single” on Friday. Not only is this embarrassing, but it also serves as an unnecessary public announcement that you and your partner are fickle as hell. [Read: A man’s view on why women are so fickle in love]
Why might men refuse to become Facebook Official?
There are also many reasons why men forego the Facebook Official status. Most are the same reasons women refuse to do it, but there are a few explanations that only guys can understand.
#1 It’s cheesy. Not everyone is well-equipped to cheese it out with their partners. Some people abhor the idea, because they aren’t programmed to appreciate the mushy feels that being Facebook Official can bring.
#2 It’s unnecessary. In a way, it really is unnecessary—especially if everyone who’s important to you already knows that you’re in a relationship with this person. Ask yourself this: why do you need to become Facebook Official? The reason may bring out the real motivation that’s not related to social media.
#3 It’s suffocating. Some guys will refuse to become Facebook Official because it feels more like a command, rather than a request. Some women may even consider breaking up if their request for an online status change is denied. If I were a guy in that position, I’d feel like there was a noose around my neck, too. [Read: The happy couples’ guide to social media etiquette]
#4 It’s not the right time yet. The right time is when you’ve both resolved your issues in the real world about telling everyone you know about your relationship. It could be that your guy just wants to announce the news to the people he knows in person, rather than post it out of nowhere on Facebook.
#5 It makes them feel that something’s wrong with the relationship. Some guys instinctually know that something is wrong with your request to become Facebook Official. If they think that you think it’s a confirmation of your relationship, then they’re probably right in thinking that you’re putting more value on your Facebook Official status than your status as a committed couple in real life.
Not all guys will refuse to become Facebook Official. A lot of guys are actually the ones who are initiating the requests on their profiles. This is because your Facebook Official status is not what you should be focusing on.
A lot of things are going on in your life right now with this new person, who has so much more to offer you than likes and comments on Facebook. A ‘like’ here and there won’t make up for the time you could have spent discussing more interesting things—like real life, for example.
[Read: How Facebook ruins relationships – 15 key things to remember]
Let go of the notion that becoming Facebook Official is the final confirmation of your love for each other. You can still change your status, but just remember that it’s not what’s going to keep your relationship intact. That’s an up close and personal face-to-face matter between you and your partner.
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