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20 Types of Lovers and Relationships You’ll Come Across in the Dating World

If you want to know what type of lovers you and your partner are, then read these 20 types of lovers and find your answer. Are you compatible? 

types of lovers relationships

When you start dating someone, you may understand them as a person, but it’s not always easy to decipher what type of lover and partner they’ll be.

As time passes, you’ll be able to clearly tell just what type of lover they are.

The signs are easy to see as long as you can clear the haze of love and see your lover for who they truly are. [Read: 50 easy relationship questions to test your compatibility immediately!]

The types of lovers and compatibility

First of all, not all types of lovers are compatible with one another.

If you’re someone who’s fiercely independent or likes to be in control all the time, you may have a hard time staying in a relationship with a controlling partner.

On the other hand, if you’re the type of lover who wants to be taken care of, you may find yourself completely incompatible with someone who’s selfish. [Read: Signs to recognize true love in your own relationship]

Before you date someone or try pointing fingers at them, try to find out what type of a lover you are.

It’ll help you understand your good side and your own flaws when you enter into a relationship.

Once you understand yourself better and realize what type of a lover you are, you’ll find it easier to tell if there’s potential for a new relationship to work out or not. [Read: 50 questions for a new relationship to predict your romantic future]

There is more than one type of lover in all of us

There are many sides to each of us, and it’s rare that someone would find just one type of lover in themselves. It’s almost always circumstances and relationships that bring out the different types of lovers within us.

A few types of lovers are never good for a relationship, while a few other types are perfect for a long-term romance.

While there are many subtle hints of different types of lovers in all of us, there’s one type of lover that sticks out and defines us for the types of lovers we are. That’s the way your lover and the rest of the world will see you. [Read: Types of love you’ll experience in your lifetime]

Why do these types of lovers matter? 

When we were in school, no one ever had a class called “Relationships 101” or “Lovers 101,” but don’t you wish they had? No one is ever taught about how to have a happy and healthy romantic relationship, which is sad.

The only way we learn how to be in a romantic relationship is by watching our parents. If your parents didn’t have a happy relationship, you didn’t get good role models for lovers.

Most people just kind of stumble their way through romantic relationships. They have a sort of trial-and-error approach to them. They try a relationship with one type of person, and if it doesn’t work out, they just find someone else. [Read: How to feel better after a breakup – 22 steps to find your happiness]

But that gets exhausting. No one really wants to be a serial monogamist for the rest of their lives. Most people want to find the right person, settle down, and live happily ever after.

If you don’t know what types of lovers there are in the world, how can choose the right one for you? As the saying goes, knowledge is power. If you know what type of partner you’re looking for, you’ll stop wasting your time on people whom you aren’t compatible with.

What types of lovers do you need?

Now that you know why knowing the different types of lovers matters, you need to find the types of lovers you need. But how do you start doing that? [Read: Healthy relationship – 27 signs, qualities, and what it looks like in real life]

Well, we’re here to help.

However, before you can go out looking for your perfect lover and partner, you first need to know yourself. That sounds easy enough, but a lot of people are not very self-aware.

You need to do a lot of self-reflection to get to know yourself. Ask yourself what your needs and desires are in a lover and partner. What are your must-haves? What are your deal-breakers? [Read: 27 most common relationship deal breakers that push many couples apart]

You also need to reflect on your own strengths and weaknesses. What do you have to offer a partner? What are the things you need to work on before you can attract the perfect lover?

Once you know all of these things, you can figure out what type of lover you need.

The 20 types of lovers that exist in the world

Use these 20 types of lovers to find out just what types of lover you are and what type of lover your partner is. [Read: 23 types of relationships to define your love life]

Try to define yourself as one of these 20 types of lovers, and speak with your partner and ask them to point out the types of lovers they see in you. If you don’t like how either of you see each other, talk about it. 

After all, understanding what type of lover your partner sees in you can help you become a better lover and work on your flaws. It’ll help your partner become a better lover, too!

1. The giver

This is the selfless lover who constantly gives in the relationship. Usually, they do this because they believe they’re not good enough for the relationship or their partner. [Read: 19 signs of a taker in a relationship – are you a taker or a giver?]

They believe they don’t provide enough value in the relationship and try to compensate for it by giving more to the relationship.

2. The taker

This is the type of partner who constantly takes in the relationship and always wants things their own way. This person believes that they bring so much to the relationship just by existing that they don’t need to do anything at all to make their partner happy.

People who think of themselves as a trophy usually end up as this type of partner. [Read: Signs you’re a selfish taker in the relationship]

3. The pleaser

This type of lover goes out of their way to please their partner. Call it unconditional love or pleasing love, but just watching their lover smile makes this person happy and fulfilled. 

They get pleasure out of pleasing their partner, even if it means giving up on something they want or like. [Read: A sweet true love story of a pleasing and unconditional lover]

4. The controller

The controlling lover appears very caring and loving and seems extremely attentive to your needs. Somewhere along the way, you may start to feel stifled and suffocated by their subtle demands or restrictions.

They use manipulation and emotional blackmail to make you dependent on them, and before you know it, you feel trapped and isolated from the rest of the world. [Read: 15 shockingly subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]

5. The selfish lover

This type of lover always thinks twice before giving something or doing something nice for their lover. They always ask themselves, “What’s in it for me?” before they do anything. 

They want the bigger or better things all the time, be it the bigger slice of pizza that both of you pretend not to notice or while making plans for the next vacation. [Read: Signs to recognize a selfish person and ways to stop them from hurting you]

6. The doubter

This type of lover never completely trusts you. You always have to go out of your way to make them feel secure and happy in the relationship. 

They feel threatened by your friends and anyone else who seems to give you the slightest hint of attention. They constantly doubt you or sneakily try to snoop around in the hope of catching you red-handed.

7. The actor

The actor is a tricky person to read because they behave like they really care about you when you’re around. [Read: The risks of making someone a priority when you’re only an option to them]

They constantly try to show just how concerned they are about you and your happiness. They ask you if you want something, but they never do anything to make you feel better. It’s all talk.

8. The drama seeker

This type of lover wants to experience something new all the time, be it a fight or a romantic getaway. They don’t like comfort or monotony. They’d rather pick a petty fight or do something dramatic than just let the relationship go along its calm course.

9. The straying lover

This type of partner gets bored very easily, and they always want more.

They may seem excited about the first few months of the relationship, but as soon as the infatuation stage passes, they get distant or boring. They seem more interested in impressing someone else. [Read: The stages of a relationship all couples have to go through]

10. The overlooker

This type of partner sees your flaws, but they choose to overlook them or put up with them because they don’t want to change anything in the relationship. 

They’d rather be a punching bag and deal with their partner’s affairs or lack of affection by turning a blind eye to it rather than confrontong or walking away from it.

11. The helper

The helper constantly tries to help their partner become better, either by supporting them or criticizing them.

They find their own meaning in life by supporting their lover and helping them achieve something. [Read: 19 secret signs your girlfriend loves, supports, and wants the best for you]

This type of partner behaves like a martyr who sacrifices their desires to help their partner achieve theirs, but they always remember the sacrifices. At times, they may even use it to emotionally manipulate their lover.

12. The compromiser

This type of lover doesn’t mind giving in to the happiness of the relationship. They give in easily in any argument or discussion just to please their partner or avoid a fight. 

They may seem like they have no desires or wants, and are happy to accept the decisions of their partner. [Read: Compromise in a relationship – 17 ways to give and not feel like you lost]

13. Possessive lover

The possessive lover may love you a lot, but they have a very hard time trusting you. 

They constantly feel like everyone else in the world is out to separate the two of you, and every person of the opposite sex is trying to hook up with you. This type of partner may love you, but they have a hard time trusting you unconditionally.

14. Jealous lover

Does your partner ever feel jealous of your success or achievements? The jealous lover may love you a lot, but they always want what you have. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]

If you buy a few new expensive perfumes, your jealous lover might want to buy perfumes, too. If you get promoted at work, your partner may start sulking about how underappreciated they are at work, even if they never felt that way before you got your promotion!

15. Material lover

This type of lover is more focused on wealth and luxuries than anything else. They want everything that the material world has to offer, and they don’t care what their partner does behind their back as long as they have money and the good life.

16. The loyal lover

A loyal lover is one who sticks with their partner through thick and thin.

They have moral principles, and they don’t go looking for opportunities to cheat on their partner. They’re emotionally and sexually satisfied and don’t stray at the first stolen opportunity. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and learn to be loyal and loving]

17. Passionate lover 

This type of lover is almost always on a sexual high. They’re extremely passionate and are proud of their sexual prowess. 

They spend a lot of time making love, and they love having a good time in bed and pleasing their partner. They’re full of passion, and they can’t imagine a life where sexual intimacy takes second place behind anything else. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas for a sizzling relationship]

18. Brooding lover

The brooding lover is the type of lover who’s lost in their own world almost all the time. They want space and love being by themselves for several hours. At times, they may even get annoyed if they don’t get enough space to be by themselves. 

They’re distracted or lost in thoughts, and even if they seem happy in the relationship, they almost always seem bothered by something. [Read: The right way to give space in a relationship]

19. Enthusiastic lover

They’re always enthusiastic and love trying new things all the time. They’re not boring, and at times, they’re even reckless. They love creating memories and are always involving their partner in trying new experiences.

20. The romantic lover

This type of lover is a true romantic. They woo you and impress you with romantic gestures all the time. They’re really sweet and loving, and they don’t miss any opportunity to display a grand gesture of love and romance!

[Read: 25 really romantic ideas to make your lover melt]

So, which of these 20 types of lovers do you see in yourself and your partner? Talk about it with each other, even if it seems painful or awkward. If both of you care about each other, having this conversation will only bring you closer!

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...