You know the drill with online dating. You create a profile, message people you might like, and go on some dates with those you connect with. Usually, you’ll end up in a real, face-to-face relationship if you hit if off. But can you have a real relationship through Facebook dating only?
What if you live too far apart but met and hit it off? Does that still count as a relationship? It’s a touchy subject for some who have counted Facebook dating as having a real relationship when others try to tell them it doesn’t count.
The bigger question here is how you differentiate a real relationship from just talking
At what point does a relationship actually become one? It’s not enough to just have two people agree to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. In order to determine if Facebook dating can be considered a real relationship, it’ll have to have all the qualities of a real relationship. [Read: 19 signs you’re in an exclusive relationship already]
When it counts as a relationship
Here’s how you can tell if two people committing to each other is an actual relationship. Just remember that you don’t have to be physically intimate in order to have a relationship, as is evident by many long-distance couples.
#1 You’re committed to each other. If you’ve both committed to one another and you have all the other aspects of a relationship, then you’re in a relationship. You’re not seeing anyone else. You feel like you’re a real couple. Then you are.
Just keep in mind that it’s impossible to tell if someone will stick to that commitment when you never actually see them. Trust is a major factor in Facebook dating and you’ll have to have a lot of it. [Read: 13 hard challenges of being in a committed relationship]
#2 You’re emotionally intimate. You don’t have to be physically intimate with someone in order to be in a relationship with them. For example, two asexual people can be together so long as they still have romantic feelings for each other. It just means they have the emotional aspect of a relationship, which you can easily have just over the internet.
#3 There’s romance. Romance doesn’t need to be in person for it to exist. If you’re in a relationship, there’s a romantic attraction between each other. You interact and add romance to your relationship. That’s really the difference between friendship and having something more.
When there’s a level of romance, your relationship is deeper and you feel something more for them than you do a friend. This can easily happen just by talking online and video chatting. [Read: How to bring romance and passion back into a relationship]
#4 You know each other’s morals and values. One of the biggest things in a relationship is making sure your morals and values line up with each other’s. If you think you’re in a relationship with someone but have no idea what theirs are, I don’t think you can fully commit yourself to them.
Think about whether or not you’ve discussed those deeper things. Do you know what they’d do in extreme situations? If not, you might have to get to know them a little better before considering yourself in a relationship with them.
#5 You share very deep, personal information. Basically, you tell them things you wouldn’t tell anyone else. They know you on a very deep, personal level and you know them on the same level. You can talk about very sensitive topics and feel completely comfortable doing so.
If you have this with someone you’re currently Facebook dating, along with the other aspects of a relationship, you’re good to call yourself their partner. [Read: 8 small ways to build a happily ever after by forging an emotional connection]
#6 You video chat. I only throw this one in so you know the person you’re talking to is real. Someone who’s just bored and lying to you is not setting you up. This allows you to build trust and ensures you actually have feelings for that person. This also helps with intimacy and romance, too. [Read: Catfishing! 13 instant signs to recognize an online faker instantly]
#7 You have the intention of meeting up in the future. This is really the main thing. You can’t really stay in a relationship that’s only over the internet forever. Unless you wouldn’t want anything more. However, that’s usually not the case.
If you have all the above qualities and you also plan to meet up in the future to be together for real, then you’re in a relationship.
When Facebook dating is not a relationship
It’s tricky to determine if the person you’re Facebook dating is your real partner because you don’t interact in person. Here are some signs you’re not quite in a relationship, even if you both have said you are. [Read: 30 effective tips to help you win at online dating]
#1 You only talk about surface-level stuff. Basically, you don’t talk about anything that would make you seem like you’re more than just friends. You probably even talk to your friends about deeper issues than you do that person. If that’s the case, then you’re not in a relationship.
#2 You never video chat. How can you be sure that person is real and who they say they are? I don’t think you can fully be in a real relationship if you’re not sure who that person is.
Talking via messaging or texting isn’t enough to ensure you’re in a relationship. You need more interaction than that and you have to be certain that person is truly who they say they are. Only then can you say you’re in a relationship. [Read: 8 tips for having steamy skype sex with your guy]
#3 You don’t know important information about each other. How much do you know about the person you’re Facebook dating? Knowing their favorite color, food, and band isn’t enough. You learn that stuff on a first date in person, would you consider yourself in a relationship then? No.
#4 You don’t feel like they’re your significant other. If you don’t feel like you’re in a relationship, it could be because you’re lacking all of the things that make it a relationship. Make sure you feel just as satisfied with the person as you would if you were dating in person, at least emotionally. [Read: How to better a relationship and improve your love life]
#5 You don’t talk about your relationship ever. Usually, this is because there isn’t really a relationship to talk about. Couples discuss their relationship and how they’re doing. When you just hop online to talk and there’s really nothing intimate or emotional being said hardly ever, it’s not really a relationship.
[Read: 10 annoyingly common misconceptions about online dating]
Don’t let people tell you that Facebook dating means you’re not in a real relationship. You can very well have a better relationship with someone even only over Facebook than others have in real life.
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