It’s not the easiest thing to be the best husband ever. When you find someone worth marrying, you assume that it’s going to be the experience of your life.
That’s what romcoms say, right?
Find someone who’s cute and you like to be around, date for a while, propose, and then ride off into the sunset. Easy as pie! False.
It takes a lot of trial and error, even after years of being together. Even when you’ve been together for years or just recently, it’s not a walk in the park to provide for all of your partner’s needs and wants.
You see, it’s not that marriage is complicated, it’s that people don’t know how to do it right. School doesn’t teach you how to be the best husband ever. Unless your parents were the perfect model for marriage, most of us just didn’t have anyone to teach us.
The reality is that not everyone is lucky enough to have parents to look up to to know what marriage is all about. For the unlucky ones, they have to live through their parents getting a divorce or separation. They have to find and redefine how to have a happy marriage on their own terms.
[Read: The secrets of a happy marriage that can make or break your romance]
Don’t worry, you really can be a great spouse to your wife. There isn’t a magic ingredient or pill to make you the best husband ever. A happy marriage takes a lot of hard work and effort and it’s not something you just happen to have.
Anyone who’s been married for over a decade will tell you that it takes consistency, communication, understanding, and a whole lot of empathy to make a marriage not just work, but last. In other words, you can’t escape putting in the effort to be an amazing partner.
[Read: 12 subtle signs of a loveless unhappy marriage]
The good news is that it’s not really that difficult to make your wife happy. If anything, it’s really easy to make your wife happy if you know what really softens her heart. In this feature, we’ll be listing down the ways you can be the best husband ever, with the smallest but most important gestures.
You literally don’t need a grand gesture to make your wife feel like she’s on top of the world. Just talk to her – it’s as simple as that. If you want to be the best husband ever, talk to her about everything under the sun.
Believe it or not, a lot of husbands think it’s a chore to talk to their wives. They think that women talk too much and give too many irrelevant details about their lives that they just don’t care about. You promised her for better or for worse.
Even when it’s not convenient for you, talking to her makes her feel heard and loved. Especially if it’s one of her love languages, talking might be the easiest way to make her feel loved.
Talk to her. I mean really talk to her. Ask her questions, talk to her about your day, actually be interested in a conversation with her. [Read: 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy in love]
Nobody likes doing all the work in a relationship. If you want to be the best husband ever, let her feel like your marriage is indeed a partnership. This means helping her around the house, especially on days she’s more tired with work than usual.
You didn’t marry her to make her do all the work, you married her as your soulmate and life partner. You’re both tired from work, but teaming up with the chores would make things easier for you. Gone are the days when the wife was the one who did all the cooking, cleaning, other household chores.
You can’t really expect her to do everything without being frustrated at your lack of initiative, can you? Don’t wait for her to tell you to do it, otherwise, she’ll think of you as another child.
You need to make things easier on her behalf and fulfill your duties as her husband. This means helping her in every way you can, even if it’s something as exhausting as chores. [Read: How to make your wife feel special – 50 easy ways to make her really happy]
I know you don’t like to change diapers. Who does? I know your wife doesn’t.
I know you know it’s not easy raising a kid. Beyond the diapers, kids can be just downright exhausting. Sure, we love them. They’re our kids, but we need a break.
Sharing kid responsibilities will make your wife’s life much easier and that’s how you can ensure that you’re being the best husband ever. Feed them. Bathe them. Discipline them. Love them. Give your wife a break. Let her go take a bath or get a massage. [Read: How to be a better husband – 15 ways to a happy wife, happy life]
According to research, the most stressful thing for a woman is to be the only one who keeps track of plans for the family. Okay, fine, women are generally more detailed-oriented and organized than men. However, this doesn’t mean you should leave all the planning up to her.
Learn to pitch in help every now and then just to reassure her she’s not alone in this. It’s so exhausting to be the only one who keeps track of everything. So, in order to be the best husband ever in her eyes, you have to be her partner.
The world doesn’t revolve around you. While you rationally know that, a lot of men don’t get it. Stop being so self-absorbed that you think everything is about fulfilling your own needs and wants.
What about her needs? What about what she wants? Did you ever think of asking her what she needs from you? selfish. A marriage is about two people trying to meet each other’s needs, not the wife trying to please her husband 100% of the time.
If you keep being self-absorbed, she’s going to end up resenting you. She might be very understanding and patient with you right now, but that patience has a limit.
Little do you know that every time you don’t pay attention to her needs, it builds up until one way, she won’t choose to tolerate it anymore. She’ll just walk away from your marriage and you’ll never see it coming.
If you don’t know what she needs, you can always ask her. That way, you can be sure what and how to fulfill them. [Read: Selfishness in relationships – 15 ways to do the right thing]
Women are wired to be affectionate so this should be at the top of your priorities in being the best husband ever. You can’t ever assume that your wife always knows how much you love her when you fail to show her in simple ways.
While a lot of men prefer touching their wives in the bedroom, women feel more intimate generally when you touch them without the expectation of sex. Touching your wife outside the bedroom gets them much more in the mood to be intimate with you than inside of it. Touching is an extension of your love. [Read: 16 ways to show your appreciation for someone you love]
Everyone has different love languages, meaning your way of showing love could be different from others. There are 5 love languages you should know about – quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, giving gifts, and physical touch. Just because you feel loved through words, you can’t expect that to apply for your wife.
For all you know, you could be loving her in the wrong way. Having contradicting love languages is okay as long as both of you give what the other needs. For instance, your love language could be acts of service but if your wife’s is quality time, you should do your best to spend time with her.
This is one of the important ways to be the best husband ever. Not paying attention to love languages is what causes neglect in a marriage. So, ask her how she wants to receive love, and then express your love that way. [Read: 16 non-sexual touches to feel connected and loved]
Another really helpful hint for being the best husband ever is to learn more about each other’s personality types. No, I’m not talking about astrology here. Rather, there are several personality tests online such as the MBTI.
Once you understand the personality differences between the two of you, then you can be more tolerant and patient with one another. Understanding the personality of your partner can help you avoid conflicts and accept one another unconditionally.
It might help you understand why they’re more patient or outgoing in ways you can’t understand. You’ll never be exactly alike *that would be boring*, but appreciating the differences will help you get along a lot better. [Read: 15 subtle things that change when you get married]
Some people think that once they’re married, they don’t have to put in any effort anymore because the “chase” is over.
However, this is the one aspect that can make you lose your wife and your marriage altogether. You can’t assume that just because you’ve been together for years, you won’t put in the work.
This doesn’t just refer to effort, but this also refers to your hygiene and physical attributes. Don’t just stop looking good for yourself and being clean just because your partner has seen your worst.
Take care of your health and body, maintain good exercise, and eat a balanced diet. In other words, don’t neglect yourself in marriage. Take care of yourself, take care of her, and take care of the family. [Read: 17 qualities of a good husband and why these traits stand out more than the others]
No matter how many years you’ve been together, date nights are so important. There’s no excuse in the book you can use to avoid having date nights with your wife. Especially if you want to be the best husband ever, make your wife feel like she matters consistently.
By taking her out on a date, you can keep the spark alive. They don’t have to be expensive or elaborate, but you do have to have them.
Trust me, you’ll thank me for this advice someday. A woman’s wants are really simple, and quality time is one of them. You can’t stop taking her out on dates just because she’s already your wife.
[Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules to follow for happy love]
It all comes down to providing your wife with all her needs to be the best husband ever. This means giving her time, affection, consistency, communication, and your love.
You can’t put just half of your effort into a marriage to make it work. You also can’t be inconsistent and stop just because she’s already your wife.
[Read: The perfect wife material – 25 signs you’re married to the best woman you can ever find!]
Now that you have these tips for how to be the best husband to your wife, it’s time to get to work! Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you need to be your wife’s partner more than anything. Love her with everything you’ve got and do your best to make her happy. That’s how you never lose her.
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