Dating when you’re shy can be a nightmare. Among many things, you have to learn how to ask a guy to hang out if you want to develop a relationship.
Jumping into the dating world as a shy person is never easy. You have to cope with your nerves and put yourself out there all while giving the appearance of being the opposite of a shy person. Not only that, but you also have to learn how to ask a guy to hang out.
It’s terrifying, really. You probably tremble at the prospect of actually being the person to instigate the date. But in reality, it can be the best thing for you to get out there and make the moves for once.
Asking a guy out as a shy girl can give you the upper hand
I know it’s hard, but it’ll be worth it. Firstly, it helps with your shyness because you’re putting yourself out there and making an effort. Not only that, but it’ll also show the guy just how much you like him.
That’s a great thing because the more you like him, the more likely it is that he’ll say yes. People want to be around those who like them. That means by going up to him and making the first move, you look better in his eyes. [Read: Do guys like shy girls and find them attractive?]
How to ask a guy to hang out even if your shyness is taking over
Dating is hard on its own. Throwing in some shyness on top of that can make it damn near impossible. If you’re the shy type but really want to ask a guy to hang out, we can help. Here’s how to go about securing a date with that special guy.
#1 Use your shyness as a way to introduce yourself. Being shy is actually kind of cute to guys. Not only does it make them feel special because they make you feel shy, but it’s also a perfect way to say hello.
You can just walk up to him and say something like, “I normally don’t do this because I’m horribly shy, but I wanted to say hi,” and then tell him your name. The fact that you still wanted to approach him even though you’re really shy shows him how much of an impact he makes on you.
#2 Practice what to say. This will really help you the most. As a shy person, being prepared is everything. Knowing what to say and what to do even when your shyness is trying to take over will make it easier to ask a guy to hang out.
So get in front of your mirror and practice what you want to say. At this point, you should know him well enough to know what he’d like to do. Asking him to do something you know he can’t resist will also increase your chances of him saying yes. [Read: What to say to a guy you like and make him like you]
#3 Use your eyes to lure him over. Those who are shy have a superpower very few even know about. Your eyes are very impactful for a guy. You naturally have a tendency to look at a guy and then immediately look down and away.
Your face will probably get red too, which is only going to help you. So use that! Don’t just try to shove your shyness away but use it as your weapon. Look over to him and when he sees you watching, smile slightly and look away.
#4 Change your body language. Body language says a lot. Learning how to ask a guy to hang out even though you’re a shy person has a lot more to do with showing him how much you like him.
That means you’ll have to nail down some body language hints. Now, if you really like him, you’ll probably do this on your own without even realizing it. But if you want to make it more effective, pay more attention.
Lean in closer to him, place a hand on his arm when he makes you laugh, bite your lip a little when he says something cute. All of those things are perfect ways to show him you’re interested and it’ll make asking him to hang out natural. [Read: 10 clearly noticeable signs of body language attraction]
#5 Gain some confidence. Those who are shy usually have a problem with self-esteem. Not always, but it’s a big reason why you try to hide away and have problems talking to people.
Gaining confidence doesn’t work overnight, though. You’ll have to continuously work at feeling better about yourself from the inside out. So eat right, stay active and fit so you feel better, and keep telling yourself you’re amazing.
Until then, fake it ‘til you make it. Acting confident can actually trick your mind into being confident temporarily. So put your best actor face forward and be the most confident person you know.
#6 Work through the shyness. Even when your face is red and you’re stuttering, keep going. Oftentimes, this can be endearing to a guy. The more nervous he seems to make you, the more intrigued he’ll be.
People like those who like them. It’s just how humanity works. Appearing flustered around him is a clear sign he’s affecting you. Chances are, he’ll love it. So own your shyness and work through it. Keep going and he’ll likely say yes to hanging out. [Read: 10 motivational tips and tricks for shy people]
#7 Make some jokes about your shyness. There’s not much that’ll ease the shy tension like making a joke about it. If you’re the type whose face gets really red when talking to a guy, mention it. Tell him it must look like a ripe tomato.
You never know, he could be very shy too and will appreciate the icebreaker. And even if he’s not, he’ll like the fact that you can joke about something like that instead of being embarrassed and upset about it.
#8 Let him lead the conversation. Being shy can be tough simply because your mind is occupied with self-deprecating thoughts. Because of this, it’s best if you let him lead the conversation.
You can easily start it but let him take the lead. This takes a bit of the pressure off you and makes it a lot easier to ask him to hang out. You’ll focus on asking him to hang out instead of your shyness and you’ll even be able to have a better conversation, too.
#9 Push the shyness from your mind. This takes a lot of will. You really have to focus your mind on your shyness and choose to push it aside. It’s difficult simply because it goes against your natural inclination.
You have to work around nature in order to make it happen. Rest assured, though, because the more you practice the easier it is. In fact, if you just focus on being an outgoing person, you’ll be able to ask him to hang out with ease. [Read: 10 subtle body language moves to appear more confident]
#10 Let him make the next move. Now that you asked him out, the next move is his to make. Tell him you’d love to hang out sometime and give him your number. Now it’s up to him to reach out to you and set something up. Your job is done, relax and get ready for a great time with him.