I spent far too many years of my life searching for a man that would make me happy. Somebody that understood me and connected with me in a way that nobody else ever had. Many years I ignored the fact that I was capable of making myself happy. I didn’t need a man to make me happy, I never did. Even if the most perfect man showed up in my life, I wouldn’t have been happy unless I allowed myself to be. Learning how to find happiness within yourself is a skill that is longed for by many, and few ever master.
How to find happiness within yourself
We’ve all met people that light up our lives: men, women, romantic partners, and friends. Some people come into our lives with the sole purpose of bringing happiness, and when they leave we think our happiness is gone with them.
Consider the fact that happiness is a state of mind, not a physical thing. No person can be happiness. Nobody comes into your life and brings happiness with them, and if you think that this is the case, think again. [Read: What makes you happy? It might surprise you]
You are happy because you make the conscious decision to open yourself up to this person. You are free when you are with them. You are happy. You allowed yourself to feel this way, they didn’t hand you happiness in a box wrapped with ribbon and lace. You did this to yourself.
Learn how to find happiness within yourself with the following tips and tricks. Your life transforms before your eyes.
#1 Learn to be grateful for the little things. Many take the initiative to start a “gratitude journal.” Basically, this is a journal written in daily just like your standard diary. Instead of writing about your recent meetup with a crush, you write exclusively about the things you are grateful for.
Writing about the things that make you thankful, will not only help you recognize all of the beautiful things that you have in your life, but you now have a record of these things to fall back on when you experience a rough day. Creating happiness in your life is the first step to finding happiness within yourself. [Read: 20 things to be grateful for that you don’t appreciate enough in life]
#2 Set daily intentions. Another tip to finding happiness within yourself is to start each day with setting your intentions for the next 24-hours. Will you focus on self-care today? Stay positive in the face of negative situations? Whatever you want to achieve today is set out for your before you even leave the house. [Read: 8 daily habits to begin that will change your life]
#3 Apologize to yourself. Before you learn how to find happiness within yourself, you need to appreciate yourself. And before you can appreciate yourself? Apologize to yourself for the things that you’ve done. You don’t deserve to hear the things that you tell yourself late at night, deep inside of your thoughts. Take a deep breath, and apologize to yourself.
#4 Take time to get to know yourself. Who the heck are ya? What are you into? What sets your soul on fire? Find your thing, and make time for it. Personally, I really like reading a good Stephen King novel or playing my acoustic guitar. That is what I enjoy most. So, I make a point to make time for it. I recommend you do the same.
#5 Find your happy place and visit there often. Whether your happy place is a physical location or a state of mind, find a spot that brings you happiness, and visit often. Some people meditate which brings them to their happy place. You can meditate daily, weekly, or whenever you feel the need. Everybody has their own preferences.
Personally, I like to connect with nature, and whatever that means in that moment will be my happy place for the time being. It might be the park near my house, my backyard, the cottage, or as simple as opening a window and sitting in front of it for an hour.
#6 You are your own standard. We often talk about our “standards,” and how we raise them or lower them to find a partner that brings us happiness. Again, they won’t bring you happiness, but you already know that, right?
Consider this, if you create a relationship with yourself, and treat yourself with kindness and care, you set a standard for possible partners. If they don’t treat you as well as you treat yourself, then there’s really no point in building a relationship. [Read: How to be comfortable with yourself]
#7 Force yourself to smile more. Studies show that smiling when you are sad actually triggers our brains to feel happiness. How insane is that? We literally have the power to make ourselves happy. It is as simple as a facial expression. This is just proof that you have the power to find happiness within yourself.
#8 The Law of Attraction is a real thing, people. You attract what you think about. It’s just the way the world works, guys. Think positivity, and positivity comes your way. Think happy thoughts, and happiness comes knocking on your front door. Once again, you have the power to find happiness within yourself. It is all in your hands.
#9 Get creative. Some of us gave up crafts at the ripe age of 13, but I’m telling you—pick it back up. Using your creativity is a great step in the process of learning how to find happiness within yourself.
When you have a physical result to show off, you feel a lot more confident in yourself. I don’t know about you, but after I complete a painting or knitting a hat, it is such a rewarding feeling to look at it and say, “I did this.” I guess you could say it makes me happy.
#10 Hype yourself up every single day. Be your biggest cheerleader. Wake up and tell yourself “You’re gonna slay the day, and you’re going to accomplish your goals.” Every. Single. One. Of. Them. Trust me, this feels silly, but oh my goodness, you will move mountains if you do this, day in and day out. [Read: 14 easy mantras that will transform your life]
#11 Eliminate negative vibes. Learning to how to find yourself is tricky enough, you don’t need to make it even more difficult by surrounding yourself with Negative Nancy’s. Cut them out of your life. Surround yourself with a tribe of like-minded individuals and watch your life transform. When you no longer need to focus on the negativity, you put all of your focus on yourself, and learning to find happiness within.
[Read: 17 ways to deal with the Negative Nancy’s in your life]
You are solely responsible for the happiness and joy that fills your life. Work for happiness, every single day. If you focus on doing so, you will learn how to find happiness within yourself.
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