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How to Talk to a Girl at the Gym Without Being That Creep She Hates

how to talk to a girl at the gym

One of the last traditional ways to meet a girl is at the gym. But you need to know how to talk to a girl at the gym without being that creep.

Really though, I have to caution you. Figuring out how to talk to a girl at the gym is risky business, because some girls are super into it, and some girls *me* are super NOT into it. I wish I could give you a fool-proof way of knowing which girls want to chat at the gym, but there’s pretty much no way of knowing for sure. Trial and error, my dudes, trial and error.

I can’t stress enough how annoying it is to be in the middle of a deadlift and to make eye contact in the mirror with the dude behind me. He was totally checking out my butt, and oh great, now he’s coming my way. No, sir, I don’t want to chat. I’m not here so you have somebody to flirt with—I’m here to look hot naked *for people who aren’t you*. Hello. [Read: 10 types of guys all girls find creepy]

How to talk to a girl at the gym without being the creepy guy

Well, now that I’ve gotten the disclaimer out of the way, let’s get to the dirty details. Okay, it’s really not dirty at all, it just sounded cool.

#1 Don’t make eye contact from across the gym. Oh my goodness, NO. Don’t make it a goal to make eye contact with her. Whatever, check her out all you want, but don’t let her see. If you make eye contact once, fine.

But please, if you make eye contact more than three times, abort mission because chances are she already thinks you are creepy. If she smiles at you, you’re in. Otherwise? Leave while you still have the chance. [Read: 12 essential flirting tips every guy needs to know]

#2 No smirking. This look always grosses me out, and I know many ladies are WITH ME on this one! If you end up making eye contact, don’t give her that gross side smile. Give her a full smile or no smile at all!

#3 No eye banging. You know what I’m talking about, guys. Don’t give her no “f*ck me” eyes. You N A S T Y, boy. Can’t you just be cool for like a second? [Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting moves that will always work]

#4 Remember that she’s not there to meet dudes. Okay, maybe I’m wrong here. There’s a few ladies at my gym that are likely there to meet dudes, but I would say that 85% of them are here to get hot for THEMSELVES. This isn’t a bar.

If you want to know how to talk to a girl at the gym and actually do it right, remember that girls don’t go to the gym to get dates; they go to lift weights. Respect that. If you go into this with that in mind, you will be successful.

#5 Just be friendly. There is a group of guys at my gym that are literally AMAZING. And you know why? Because they are cool guys! They don’t push themselves on the girls there, they just hangout and help when necessary. It’s always nice to see a friendly face at the gym, and if you see her at the gym often, she will recognize you over time. So make sure she remembers you as a friendly guy, not the creepy guy who makes eye contact from across the gym. [Read: 15 traits all girls find attractive and appealing in a guy]

#6 Don’t act on the first day. Don’t hit on a girl the first time you see her there. I mean, I’m not your life coach, do whatever you want, but I assure you, you will have more success by playing the long game. If you are frequently at this gym, and she is too, you will see her again.

Don’t jump on this opportunity because you might just blow it. If you ask her out the first time you see her, she is going to assume that you are just into her because she’s wearing tight pants and she’s doing squats–C R E E P Y.

#7 Slow and steady wins the race. Every time you see her, do something but not everything. Smile at her the first time, then make a point to workout nearby her the next time. Eventually you can build up to small talk. I promise you, being a friendly guy will work much better than pouncing on her like she’s fresh meat. [Read: The modern day gentleman’s guide to wooing a lady]

#8 Eyes on the prize. For the love of God, don’t hit on every hot girl at the gym, because you’re going to get a bad reputation, and girls aren’t going to feel special anymore. If there is any advice I can give you, it is this: Girls talk, so be careful.

Even if I’ve never talked to a girl before, if I see a creepy dude hitting on a girl at the gym or elsewhere, I’m going to step in and save her. Oh, and I’m going to give her all the details I know about that guy. It’s girl code, and it’s hardcore. I wouldn’t mess with it if I were you.

#9 Find a reason to talk to her. It might be easier for you to gain the courage to talk to her if you have some speaking points. When it comes to figuring out how to talk to a girl at the gym, an easy option is to ask her if she knows if a machine near her is in use, or if you can use it. This is a question that is absolutely warranted, and won’t throw up red flags for her. She’ll notice you, and this might be the start of something great. [Read: 25 perfect conversation starters that work in almost all occasions]

#10 Don’t try to impress her. I can’t speak for all girls, but when I see a guy trying to lift way more than he can handle, or slam down the weights when he is done with it, I roll the hell out of my eyes. That’s not cute, dudes. I’ve never been a fan of the “macho man” character, and I know many girls aren’t either. But hey, if that’s your game plan, I wish you the best.

#11 Remain humble. I think a lot of people are afraid to ask questions–especially at the gym. A lot of us are intimidated at the gym because everybody else seems to know what they are doing, and sometimes *especially at the beginning* we feel lost.

If she is doing an exercise that you think looks interesting, don’t be afraid to ask her about it. Ask her if she can show you how to do it properly, or what muscles it targets. Girls like to feel smart, and seeing a guy ask questions is a great quality to many girls. [Read: What you need to know about the code of modern chivalry]

#12 Don’t compliment her. I know that this sounds ridiculous, but if you compliment her *again in her tight pants while she’s doing squats*, she’s going to think you’re a huge perv. Even if you are complimenting her form or control, she’s going to overthink your statement and think you’re nasty. Just avoid compliments altogether. Outside the gym? Yes. Inside? Heck no.

[Read: Gym etiquette – 13 faux pas that make you look like a total asshole]

Understanding how to talk to a girl at the gym can be a difficult task, but if you follow these 12 tips, you will be a pro in no time!

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Brett Larabie
Brett Larabie
Brett is a health and wellness blogger who aims to inspire her readers to live happy, fulfilled lives. She follows a plant-based lifestyle and lives in a tiny a...

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