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31 Subtle Qualities of a Good Husband that Make or Break a Happy Marriage

You don’t want to stay single, but you don’t know who to settle down with. Use these qualities of a good husband to help you find your forever man!

qualities of a good husband

If you’re thinking about the future and on the lookout for a man to grow old with, what are the qualities of a good husband you should keep an eye out for? 

If you’re searching for the perfect man, let us stop you right there. He doesn’t exist. This is a mythical creature created by Disney and other movie directors to cause a world of relationship anxiety!

The perfect man is akin to a unicorn because nobody is perfect. Be honest, you’re not perfect either! Nobody should even attempt to be perfect, because quite frankly, life would be extremely boring.

However, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be looking out for specific qualities in someone who you’re thinking about spending a significant portion of your life with, if not all of it. 

[Read: The 41 best qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]

Why is it important to know the qualities of a good husband?

When you’re dating, following a checklist of the most important qualities of a good husband isn’t going to actually find you a good husband. Sure, it’ll lead you to a man who looks perfect on paper. But that doesn’t guarantee that that spark, that instant attraction, and that ability to fall in love will be there.

So, no, you shouldn’t follow this feature like it’s gospel. But it can still prove to be useful.

If you’re in a rut of dating bad men, maybe you need to do some self-reflection. It might be that maybe you’re not as unlucky as you thought.

Instead, you might be going for men who show red flags from day one, but you’re just not used to looking for them. [Read: 34 big relationship red flags most people completely ignore early on]

Learning what qualities make for a good husband might help you realize where you’ve been going wrong with the men you’ve been dating and what a long-term man actually looks like.

The qualities of a good husband that you need to look for in a man you love

Remember, everyone has different tastes, so these qualities might have a few added extras for some or a few omissions for others. Be open-minded, but remember that a good character usually includes the following qualities. 

1. No worries about showing affection

Nobody wants to be with a guy who has issues showing any type of affection. We all need a hug and a cuddle every now and again.

While you might not want to be in a constant bear hug, you do need human contact to show that you’re loved and adored. [Read: 28 cute ways to show affection in a relationship even if it feels awkward]

2. He’s an independent type of guy

One of the best qualities of a good husband is that he is independent and can stand on his own two feet. He doesn’t need to rely on anyone else. He can link up with you and create a life without barriers.

3. He is strong in his decisions

A guy who can’t make decisions is going to stress the life out of you. What happens when life throws you big decisions to make?

You need to know that you’re both on the same page. It means you need someone who is able to make strong decisions, just like you can. [Read: What is masculinity? 46 manly and toxic traits that women love and despise in men]

4. He has good morals

If you decide to have children someday, you should know that the father is able to be a good role model and show his morals.

Even if you don’t have children, a man with strong morals is a good man, and an extremely attractive one!

5. He gives you freedom because he trusts you

A man who trusts you will have no problems with you going out and living your life, seeing your friends, etc. He does this because he knows that he can trust you. He knows that you will always come back to him at the end of the day.

The flip side of this is someone who is constantly calling and turning up when you’re out, checking up on you and seeing what you’re doing. That’s not what you need! [Read: The signs of a toxic boyfriend that should make you move away fast]

6. He always uses his manners

There is nothing more attractive than a man who uses his manners! We’re talking about using his “please” and “thank you”s, being kind to waiters in restaurants, etc. This is one of the best qualities of a good husband because it shows respect for others. 

7. He shows his appreciation for you

Everyone wants to feel appreciated. A man who shows that he appreciates all the things you do for him will be a good husband and partner for life. [Read: 25 love-filled ways to say “I appreciate you” without words]

8. He is patient

Every couple argues from time to time. A man with patience will be able to side-step small issues and realize that the bigger picture matters far more than a little spat.

This means not simply jumping towards anger when something small goes wrong but actually communicating to reach a common goal. [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship and ways to fix a lack of it]

9. He doesn’t give up easily

A man who is willing to fight for his family and keep working, even when things are tough, is someone you can rely upon. You’ll feel more secure in your relationship because you know that his persistence and tenacity will keep you all safe and secure. 

10. He isn’t at the beck and call of his friends

Let’s be honest, some guys go running when their friends click their fingers. While you want him to spend time with his guys, you also want him to put your relationship and family as a priority.

A guy who is able to find the balance between friends and family is a keeper. [Read: The signs friends are ruining your relationship and what to do about it]

11. He is hardworking

A hardworking man will always help you to achieve your dreams, just as you will help him achieve his. At the same time, he will do his fair share in terms of providing for you and your future children *if you choose to have them*.

Let’s be honest, a hardworking man is also sexy as hell!

12. He knows that all work and no play is no fun

At the same time as being hardworking, you don’t want a guy who has no time for fun. If a guy knows how to laugh, do silly things, and basically enjoy the time you spend together, that’s one of the best qualities of a good husband. [Read: What makes a guy a good life partner and the perfect husband material?]

13. He is a positive person

While everyone has their down days, being with someone who is constantly negative will suck the life out of you and leave you feeling down.

If your husband is a positive and upbeat person most of the time, you’ll live a happy life together. 

14. He understands you and what is important to you

Your relationship will be much more successful and enjoyable if you understand each other. One of the qualities of a good husband is that he understands you at your very core and what is important to you. 

15. He is consistent

A man who says one thing and does another is not a good husband. Equally, a man who says something and then changes his mind the next day isn’t someone you can reliably plan a life with.

A good husband is consistent. He does what he says he’s going to do. Sure, we all make mistakes occasionally, but on the whole, this is something to look for. [Read: Signs the guy you’re with deserves your trust]

16. He doesn’t hold grudges

A guy who holds grudges based on the tiniest thing will be difficult to build a future with. Grudges can easily turn toxic and negative. Over time, these will eat away at your happiness.

On the other hand, a guy who knows how to forgive and forget will prove to be a positive and enjoyable partner. [Read: How to handle the sting of resentment in a relationship and overcome it]

17. He’s compassionate

Being compassionate certainly helps with not holding grudges.

You’re going to be with this man for the rest of your life, so a good husband would have to be compassionate to make that life together a good one.

18. He’s good with self-control

When you’re married, everything you do no longer just affects you. It affects your spouse, any children you have, pets you may own, and even your financial situation.

So, a good husband knows how to have self-control. He won’t spend all of his time playing video games when housework needs to be done or the kids need to be taken care of. He won’t eat all of the food in the fridge and make everyone else go hungry. All because he knows when enough is enough.

19. You’re each other’s best friend

When people say “you should marry your best friend,” they’re not wrong. You spend so much time together, share everything personal and physical about yourself with them, and love them more than you’ve loved anyone.

If, after all of that, there was something that prevented you from being best friends, there might be something wrong in the relationship.

That’s why a good husband will also be your best friend.

20. He works to resolve conflict

Some people enter into conflict with the idea that they have to be the ones to yell the loudest. But that is an immature way to approach a problem.

A good husband knows that he’s never fighting you, he’s fighting with you against the problem. He’ll calmly explain his side, listen when you explain yours, and work to find a compromise that suits everyone. [Read: Why fighting in a relationship is important and how to do it right]

21. He’s trustworthy

Love isn’t enough to keep a relationship going. You also need trust to act as the foundation of a strong relationship. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and learn to be loyal and loving]

A good husband is trustworthy, dependable, and reliable through anything. He needs to be since he’ll be there to support you through everything for the rest of your life.

22. He never stops chasing you

Just because he’s put a ring on that, doesn’t mean he can stop trying!

A good husband will continue to date you long after he’s married you. He will take you out on surprise dates, buy you flowers, and flirt with you. Because he knows the value of making you feel wanted and desired. [Read: Married sex – 38 sex ideas and naughty tips to spice it up and stay passionate]

23. He views you as his partner

This should be a given, but some bad husbands haven’t quite gotten the memo. A good husband views you as his partner, so when you take care of him, he’ll take care of you.

Whatever burdens you face, he’ll shoulder them with you equally. A good husband never takes you for granted.

24. He knows how to manage his finances

When you’re single, you can be stupid with your financial decisions. We wouldn’t recommend it, but if you want to spend all your money on things you don’t need instead of saving for the future, that’s on you.

But when you’re married, you have to be more financially responsible. After all, you’re tied together. So whatever debt you have, your partner will also have to deal with it. [Read: How to talk about money with your partner without fighting about it]

A good husband would never put his spouse through the stress of his own financial irresponsibility. He would be smart to save up for a home, for children, and for emergencies. Because a good husband takes care of you, even financially.

25. He stays faithful

When a good husband says his vows, he means them. If he wasn’t serious about being with you for the rest of his life, he wouldn’t take you down the aisle. That’s a seriously bad husband move.

26. He puts his family first

Being a good husband and being a family man go hand-in-hand. He’ll never complain.

Instead, he’ll happily make sacrifices for the family, lovingly take care of everyone, and be a good father day in and day out. You’ll never have to question if your family is the most important thing in the world to a good husband.

27. He loves you as you are

If you feel secure knowing that your husband will love you regardless of how old you become, how much weight you gain or lose, or how questionable your next bold haircut is, then you have yourself a good husband.

He doesn’t love you for anything superficial or shallow. He loves you for you, flaws and all.

What are the qualities of a bad husband?

Remember, this list of the qualities of a good husband is not definitive and it is not law. A person doesn’t have to tick off all these qualities to be considered a good husband.

So, before you panic and think that you’re dating a man who could end up being a bad husband just because he doesn’t tick every box, let’s quickly go through what actually makes a bad husband. Because it takes more than just being forgetful or a bit lazy about taking you on lavish dates.

1. Controlling or possessive behavior

A husband who has a say on what you wear, the friends you keep, or even when you leave the house and where you can go, is not a husband you deserve to have.

There is no redemption for a possessive or controlling husband, either. There is no talking to them because they don’t listen to reason. [Read: 23 early signs of a possessive man and the best ways to fix it ASAP]

2. Over-the-top jealousy

You can’t even talk to the guy who’s checking out your groceries without a bad husband accusing you of flirting or even having an affair with this stranger.

And no matter how many times you defend yourself, he always accuses you of being unfaithful. [Read: How to stop being jealous for no reason and learn to live envy-free]

3. He takes you for granted

Picture yourself marrying the guy you’re seeing right now. If in your mind’s eye, you picture him taking you for granted, ditch him while you still can.

You’re his wife, for god’s sake! He should be thanking the universe for guiding him to you, not treating you like a maid, a servant, a chef, a dry cleaner, and an emotional punching bag.

If he already takes you for granted and never makes any attempt to stop even when you tell him how much it hurts you, show him the door!

4. He’s unfaithful

No matter what kind of excuse an unfaithful husband might come out with, they are a bad husband through and through. There is truly no excuse for adultery.

If he had any respect for his spouse, he would never go behind her back like that.

Last words

Remember, nobody is perfect. You cannot write these qualities down and then go out with a clipboard, ticking items off whenever you meet a new guy!

Instead, focus on finding someone who ticks most items off your list, and be prepared to bend a little and compromise. It’s helpful to remember that you’re not perfect either!

Next, check out, these 30 must-follow relationship rules for happy love that can transform your love life forever!

The qualities of a good husband may vary from person to person. Overall, being a stand-up guy, someone who is humble, has good morals, a sense of humor and fun, and willingness to work hard for his family are things you should be looking for.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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