She’s the girl of everyone’s dreams. She’s the one who makes angels sing and pluck their harps as she moves. Her every step, her every move, seems perfectly cultivated by the Gods. She’s the one who has every guy worshiping the ground she walks on. She’s the girl of your dreams which essentially means she’s out of your league.
Until now, you probably thought there is no way you could get a girl that’s out of your league. With so many guys drooling over her, you’re already imagining the rejection. In your mind, she is the queen, but she doesn’t even know you exist. So, why even bother?
Why risk your feelings and put the effort in when there’s no chance? Other than your anxieties, who says there’s no chance? Just take Shrek, for example… Spoiler alert: Fiona chose an actual ogre, and she was was way out of his league. If Shrek can pull that off, you have a chance.
[Read: How to be attractive to women and be a cut above all other men]
Don’t give up! You have a shot at dating her! You really do. I won’t tell you it’s a sure thing, but it is worth a shot. Just because you may not be Harry Styles in the looks department or Paul Rudd in the comedy department, doesn’t mean dating her is completely out of the question.
Just look at more than half of the most gorgeous women in Hollywood and their husbands. These are uneven playing fields, but when it works it works.
You don’t need to be or even look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney to know how to get a girl that’s out of your league. What you need is the confidence of the sexiest guys in Hollywood. Seriously, with just a change of attitude, even the girl of your dreams could consider you to be her Chris Evans.
[Read: 33 traits of a great boyfriend that’ll make a guy the best ever!]
Before we give you a list of things to do and try in order to get a girl that’s out of your league, there is something you must do. Whether you want to get your dream girl or any girl who is out of your league, you’ll need to work on your confidence.
And this is not about faking it until you make it. You really need to have the confidence of the guy that makes you feel inferior. Don’t be cocky, be sure of yourself. You need to know that you are a catch. And you really need to believe it. [Read: The subtle differences between a cocky man and an arrogant man every guy must know]
If you worship the ground she walks on and act shocked when she knows your name, it will only encourage her to view you as you view yourself, unworthy.
If you don’t believe you deserve a girl as wonderful as her, you won’t.
I don’t want to consider myself as a girl who is out of anyone’s league but when I was dating, it was really hard to like a guy who clearly didn’t like himself. It is nice to get compliments from her but she shouldn’t have to reassure you that you are good enough for her.
When I had guys asking if they were bothering me when they texted, I found that bothersome. I didn’t originally think they weren’t good enough for me because they were funny or clever or smart, but when they felt like I was too good for them, it made me feel uncomfortable. [Read: The 20 life hacks you can use to feel super-confident in no time]
I felt like they put me on a pedestal because they didn’t find themselves to be good enough for me. It is hard to have that all put on you. You don’t want her to have to boost your ego or make you feel good enough.
If you know you’re a catch, she will see that confidence in you and that is the first step in how to get a girl that’s out of your league.
The whole idea of someone being out of your league is shallow and stale, but for the sake of the phrase, let’s go with it. You think she’s out of your league? Why?
What makes her so amazing? Is she better than you? Really think about it. It’s like trying to date a celebrity. You would never even go for it because they are just on another level. But, are they? They are just a regular person, as is this girl you so desire.
You may have built her up in your mind, but is she really so indescribable? Try to view her as a person. Sure, she may be gorgeous, but she is just a person at the end of the day. [Read: How to know your league in dating terms and focus on what truly matters]Yes, girls like compliments, but we also like being treated with respect. If you think of her and treat her as an equal, she will appreciate that so much for than you drooling over her.
Stop thinking of her as being out of your league and instead, level your playing field. Does her beauty outweigh your intelligence or sense of humor? If she is a surgeon and as beautiful as a model, that doesn’t mean she is some magical creator. It means she is someone who can share an intellectual conversation with you and is enjoyable to look at.
That doesn’t change who she is as a person, nor does it make her any more worthy of happiness or love.
Instead of boggling your mind trying to figure out how to get a girl that’s out of your league, try to stop thinking of her that way. [Read: The 14 secrets of self-worth and self-belief to start respecting yourself]
If you feel like your chances with her are slim, instead of giving up, try something new. Learning how to get a girl that’s out of your league isn’t about tricks or manipulation, but about changing your perspective.
At first, you have to ask yourself why you want to date her in the first place. You can’t just choose to want to be with someone based on how she looks, right? That would be pretty shallow. And you probably shouldn’t be trying to go out with her if you’re just looking to use her for your social status or to make an ex jealous, because that would just be mean.
Instead, you have to have at least some knowledge about who she is before you decide to date her. Is there more to her than her looks? Does she have common interests with you? Is she the type of girl that you can see yourself dating even if she didn’t look like a literal angel? If you can see past her looks and still want to date her, then move on to the next steps. [Read: Why is inner beauty far more important than outer beauty?]
Being the bad boy who jerks women around won’t get you anywhere with her, or any other girl for that matter. Some guys say good guys finish last, but those guys really aren’t so good. It’s being a gentleman that will get you noticed. And you can’t just be a gentleman around her. You need to genuinely be a good guy.
You should treat your coworkers and employees with respect, help elder ladies across the street, and help your neighbor unload their groceries.
Showing her that you’re a nice guy who respects people will instantly give you points. When it comes to a girl that’s out of your league, showing her that hanging out with you means she won’t be hanging out with a douche bag who just wants to get in her pants is key. [Read: 15 ways to be a gentleman and win her over with your charm]
Looks fade, yes, even hers. But a sense of humor sticks around for the long haul. My parents are going on 35 years together, and what keeps their marriage strong? Laughter. Women in general are suckers for guys who can make them laugh. But, when a girl is out of your league, laughter is more than just the best medicine. It’s the social panacea that can get you closer to tons of other people. Being a guy with a sense of humor not only means you’re a fun guy to hang out with, but it also shows people that you’re quick enough with your wits to come up with something amusing to say.
Just a word of advice on the humor: don’t make a joke at someone’s expense. It’s rude, and it paints you in bad light, especially if you’re talking to the girl you want to date. If you think the only way you can come up with something funny is by making fun of someone else, skip the humor lest you start offending people and turning her off. [Read: The right way to be funny and make people love your company]
We’re not saying you should lurk in the shadows, because that would be creepy. By being around, we mean you should be within her periphery whenever it matters. If the girl is a friend of your friend, convince your pal to invite you whenever she’ll be around. If she’s an office mate, sync your coffee breaks often enough to make you a familiar face. Plus, you may feel that she is out of your league, but hanging out with her and her friends will not just bring you to that same league, but maybe even the same team.
Being around her, even in a platonic or casual sense will ease your nerves. The more time you spend with her, even in a group setting, will help you feel more at ease and comfortable. This will also do the same for her. Just this simple level of familiarity will help you pass the awkwardness and find things to talk about.
Once you get past the small talk, then you can move on to a real conversation, and maybe even a request for a night out together. [Read: 30 ways to get the perfect conversation going with a girl who’s intimidates you]
I know, I know. We already discussed confidence, but this is a big one. A girl who knows she’s hot also knows that she can be intimidating. Odds are, she has guys hitting on her all the time. This may sound nice, but it can be a lot to handle. When guys drool over her, it can come with a lot of pressure to maintain this level of perfection. If you view her as an equal rather than this unattainable beauty, it will put her at ease.
You won’t get struck by lightning whenever you try to talk to her. Smile and try to relax when you’re talking to her. Talk about things you are knowledgeable about so you aren’t reaching for something to say. She’s more likely to pay attention to you, and maybe even like you, if she can see that you’re not intimidated. [Read: 16 ways to build your confidence and impress the girl you like]
Okay, no one likes a show-off, but giving her a glimpse into your skillset lets her know you are capable. What you think you lack in looks can be more than made up for in talent. Take her to the batting cages, help her with her computer, or even show her some of your photography.
You can show her what you’re good at and hope that it piques her interest. As a girl, seeing a guy who is good at something and takes pride in that is really very sexy. She might show admiration for your talent, if you just find a way to make her notice. [Read: The Prince Charming traits that still charm and make women swoon today!]
Women have soft spots for all sorts of things, from sweets to puppies, and more. Once you know more about her, you can find out what she’s really into. Don’t assume all girls are the same and are lured in by cute babies. Some girls will prefer snakes to kittens and tattoos over nice watches.
If she is a sucker for Starbucks, pick up her favorite drink for her. If she loves cats, send her some cute kitty memes. Maybe she loves music, talk to her about this new band you heard of. Also just ask her about these things. A great place to start is animals. If she has a pet ask about them, she will love that you want to hear more. [Read: 12 things girls absolutely love to talk about]
As I said, the girls who you think are out of your league are most likely already aware of how gorgeous they are. She will most likely find it tedious when you keep telling her how gorgeous she is and how lucky you are.
Instead, compliment her on what’s going on in her mind. Compliment her sense of style instead of her body. Let her know how impressed you are by her work ethic or focus. After a couple of conversations, she will start to open up about her opinions and views.
From there, you can let her know that you are in awe of how passionate she is. Really pay attention to what she says, so you can let her know you see her as more than a hot body and pretty face. [Read: 23 things girls wish guys knew about how a girl’s mind works]
When you are ready to ask her out or just make your feelings known, instead of bringing her flowers or candy, do something that is more specific to you and her. If you shared your nostalgia for the 90s’, maybe bring her Silly Putty or an Etch-a-Sketch as a gift.
If you’re good at editing, you can create a poster for a concert and invite only her. You can even edit a little video to ask her out and send it to her in a link. Be original and show her you listen by making it something that makes sense for you two. Let her know you enjoy putting in that effort for her. [Read: 20 unique ways to ask her out on a date]
I know this can be hard, especially if you’ve been rejected in the past. But, try to go in with an open mind. Don’t immediately think all of this will go to waste. Think positive. Let go of what’s happened before. Just because someone else turned you down doesn’t mean she will. Every girl is different. Try not to have expectations. Don’t assume what you do will work out or fail. Just give it a go. This is all about taking a chance. You wouldn’t go skydiving with the belief that you’ll plummet to your death, so when it comes to learning how to get a girl out of your league, let go of those fears. [Read: Learn how to think positive and reprogram your mind to stay positive all the time]
This is incredibly difficult. And now that you’ve read most of this feature, you’re probably thinking, how? Well, try to be as rational as possible. Rationality isn’t exactly the go-to once feelings get involved, but nonetheless, try. Overthinking will get you in your head. You’ll be nervous and awkward. Instead, when you want to say something, say it. Just breathe deep and be yourself. When you think too much you start analyzing everything so specifically you convince yourself that something means something it doesn’t and vice versa. Try to let your feelings guide you instead of your anxiety.
There is no such thing as the friendzone. If you believe that her friendship is some sort of punishment for being a nice guy or not having chemistry, you are not viewing her as an equal. Many guys believe that being there for a girl means they’re entitled to something sexual, when that is strictly friendship. View her friendship as an honor, not some sort of rejection. Appreciate the bond you can grow as friends. Not only will being true friends help you connect better, but it can help you get closer without the nerves. You never know what could come of it later. But, in the meantime, who doesn’t need more friends? [Read: 15 ways to be friends with someone you like]
Do not make getting a girl that’s out of your league your goal. Do not make this your life’s focus. Even if you like her and are hoping she’ll date you, don’t just drop everything for her. Say you do date her, this is how relationships become dysfunctional. Keep living your life to the fullest, with or without her.
Maybe she wants your help studying or building furniture. Don’t just drop your plans to meet up with her. Let her know you’re busy and make plans that work for both of you. This is not manipulation or playing hard to get. This is focusing on your life and letting her be an addition to it, not absorbing it completely.
It is just a bonus that this lets her know you are in demand and have a full life. Her liking you does not define you. [Read: How to be your own hero and start taking full control of your life]
Let her know how you feel. Be honest and upfront. When a guy can be vulnerable and take that risk of rejection, it shows his interest. You may think she’s out of your league, but you’d be surprised by how many guys you think are on her level would never be vulnerable.
Tell her you really like her and would love to take her out on a date. It sounds easier than it is, but it will feel like such a relief no matter what the response is. [Read: How to tell a girl you like her and come come off creepy or weird]
Rejection is always a possibility. It is a part of dating. You know that. Sometimes you just need to let go. If you’ve done everything on this list and she isn’t interested it is time to move on. You can do everything right and still not be a match made in heaven and that is okay. Not everyone will like you. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.
You don’t need everyone to like you just one person, the right person. So, if it comes to the point where you need to let her go and move on, try not to let it get you down. [Read: How to lose feelings for a girl and let go of the might-have-beens]
Just because it may be more complicated to learn how to get a girl that’s out of your league doesn’t mean it is impossible. With your unique style, added confidence, and a little charm your genuine feelings will shine through and the girl of your dreams just might look your way!
Want to read a few more articles on how you can become a way better version of yourself? Try these:
18 qualities of a great guy that sets him apart from the lesser men
23 foolproof relationship tips for men to take your love life to a whole new level of awesomeness
How to get any girl to like you – 20 things you MUST KNOW about girls
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