A woman will be half-sure about most of the men that court her, and so she will dangle them on a hook. Why? Because she’s waiting for that one person, the ultimate prize, that one man who stands out because he’s just a little too good for her and a cut above every other guy in her life.
A woman’s value versus a man’s
First, know a woman’s self-worth is fanned by social media, femme-centric society, and good old-fashioned narcissism that comes with being the more desirable sex. So generally in society, a man’s sexuality is deemed lower in worth than a female’s and is worshpped to a far lesser degree.
For example, a guy is said to ‘get lucky’ when he’s successful with a woman. A guy could be a millionaire, jacked, super-intelligent, but if there is a drunken hot girl dancing crazily with her hot friend in a club, in that environment she has 10-times as much value as he does.
Of course, value is in the eye of the beholder and all humans are equal regardless of sex. But… ask yourself, when was the last time you saw a man’s torso used to sell a travel ad? Perhaps a few, but it’s hard to think of, right? On the other hand, females are beautiful goddesses; their image can be used to sell anything, from an Oral-B toothbrush to the shores of Waikiki.
I wouldn’t pay the same for a toothbrush if it had a picture of man half-naked on it. So we get it – beauty, flowers embodied; women are to be looked at, enjoyed, and worshiped. [Read: Why men can’t resist women and their oh-so-hot bodies]
Here’s how to be attractive to women
If you want to know how to be attractive to women, the number one thing to remember, however, in order to be a cut above other men in her life, is this: believe you ARE the prize.
It’s tempting to be average and humble. To stand out less, to try to fit in more. Overall, that approach feels easier.
But the man who’s a cut above other men doesn’t do average. He’s noticeable for the very reason that he goes so far above and beyond. He’s the ultimate prize. Other men are jealous of him. Women compete over him. [Read: 23 hacks to be a lot more attractive to women instantly]
Let’s think… George Clooney.
Now, as a men’s dating coach, I know a few things about attracting females. And I can say, without smirking, that many of the actors we watch in movies possess a lot of the real character traits that men who are a ‘cut above’ also possess.
George Clooney is undeniably a cut above most other men and obviously knows how to be attractive to women. The ‘age-old’ joke about him was that he’s too in love with himself to settle down with a woman. For the longest time he didn’t get married – an incorrigible yet IN-DEMAND bachelor.
It’s very difficult to fake certain behaviors. And girls are very good at screening out men pretending to be greater than they feel inside. But Clooney really is the prize. This is why he can believably play ‘the top 1%’ male character type in movies.
Clooney is a good example of been the prized man that women HOPE to lock down. They’ll literally abandon other guys by the roadside for the chance to be his Number One Squeeze.
We can break down how to be a cut above other men by listing a few things. First, ask yourself the question: what do you imagine when you think of George Clooney? [Read: 25 things that make a man attractive to women]
Let’s list them out.
#1 A self-confidence that oozes out of every expression and word. Confidence, confidence, confidence is key if you want to know how to be attractive to women. It’s funny, no matter how many times we guys hear that women love a guy with self-confidence, we forget it.
We instead say too much in order to try and impress, doubt ourselves, and consider how girls might want us to act rather than being ourselves. Connecting with a girl from a position of self-doubt is a major turn off… all wrong. The angle’s way off!
So how do we transform self-doubt into rock-steady smooth confidence? [Read: The subtle differences between a confident and an arrogant man]
First, pursue mastery.
Notice that George Clooney’s able to play Danny Ocean in Ocean’s 11 – a character leading the heist of a bustling, ultra-secure Las Vegas casino. That takes skill goddamned it! If you’re not the best at something, aim to be. Be the best or be average.
This means: reading books, taking workshops, investing in yourself by spending an amount of money on training that makes you feel slightly nauseous. This will pay major dividends over time. Finding the right mentors early on puts you on the path to mastery far faster than if you were to go it alone. [Read: How to be a better man using the right role model]
Next, still your mind, yet take ‘reckless’ action.
It’s hard to overstate the importance of this key point when learning how to be attractive to women. When things go wrong, and they always go wrong at some point, Clooney seems relaxed and finds solutions, not fuel for the fire. He cranks up his boldness, but never seems to panic.
Ways of stilling the mind include: mindfulness meditation, daily exercise, and proper diet. It’s worth doing these boring basics because when you look into her eyes, you’ll have the icy warm look of someone who doesn’t give a fuck.
When you get the girl, she’ll have the impression that you were perfectly willing to be rejected, but that you went for it anyway. [Read: Why can’t I get a girlfriend? 25 mistakes that ruin your chances]
Now, make a decision… any decision will do.
We don’t always know the right decision, but self-confidence means that we trust ourselves to make A decision, even if it’s a decision to take inaction.
Men who are a cut above know where they’re going. They know what they value, and so they act from this space. They’re willing to make wrong decisions and learn from mistakes. Women can’t stand a guy who doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going. So make a decision and commit to it. Good enough is way better than perfect. [Read: 15 traits that’ll make you the perfect boyfriend material]
#2 Leadership qualities, in charge, other men follow him. Simon Sinek, a thought-leader on leadership *pun not intended*, states the one prerequisite all leaders have in common is courage. And we can’t be courageous just for ourselves. We need to have a tribe we belong to and are being courageous for.
Women also love a man who is respected by other men because it suggests he has high status. This will naturally make her feel more protected by him. Here are 2 ways to use courage to improve your tribal status:
– Build a social network where you regularly plan activities: nights out, road trips, movie nights…
– Form a social circle with only males, to show you can relate to the masculine. Also form circles that are mixed-sex, which will ironically give you more opportunities to meet women *women in those circles will see that you are popular and be attracted to you*. [Read: How to be dominant – 15 firm and calm ways to be the real alpha]
Men respect courage.
So look for opportunities to be unexpectedly bold. When it would be easier to back down, crank it up when it really matters. This doesn’t mean picking unnecessary fights, it means standing up for what you believe in, being willing to stick up for a friend, and more willing to be vulnerable than others.
Other ways of doing this could be to: put yourself on the line by planning activities where perhaps few people might show up, not giving up with building social circles, and leading from the front not the back. [Read: How to get any girl to like you – 18 secrets to impress any girl]
When you have a social circle you love and are respected in, you will naturally have more energy about you. You will know how to be attractive to women – even more than other men in her life with less status and belonging. You’ll be less insecure. Whenever she pushes you to test your confidence, you’ll have enough core self-belief, because you feel loved and supported by your tribe.
Now, some final, MAJOR ‘Cut Above’ pointers…
#3 Fully entitled to her. Don’t assume she’ll give you permission to be entitled to her – you must assume it.
The single most important reason why a girl does not buy into your approach is that you don’t really believe you can get her, or that you even deserve her. As long as you believe she’s better than you, you have no chance.
Brainwash yourself until you believe it. Tell yourself you’re ‘the shit.’ Focus on your strengths and on your desire for her, not on your weaknesses.
#4 Talking to her emotions. If she’s reacting to what you say and do, then you’re still in the game. You really need to remember this one when you’re figuring out how to be attractive to women.
One moment you could be talking to her, and mid-sentence lean in and kiss her. Why? Because it’s not so much about what you say logically, it’s about how you say it, and how it makes her feel.
The emotional state she’s in determines what next move you can make. She will appreciate you massively if you have an understanding of her emotions. Learn to stroke them, to understand them, and use them to direct events skilfully.
If you want to know how to be attractive to women, take an interest in chick-lit, romance movies, and the types of things that provoke intense emotional reactions in women, with an eye on becoming more skillful in emotional intelligence. [Read: What women find attractive – 16 traits girls instantly fall for]
#5 Dressed to the nines – suave, yet masculine. This hardly needs much clarification.
Step up your game, brother! Dress more Boss than you feel comfortable with. Once you get used to that level of sophistication and style, crank it up even further. Experiment – blazers, shoes, the bad-boy look, the gentleman look, the millionaire bad-boy look. [Read: How to look fabulous while trying to get attention]
#6 Willing to fail. This is probably the most important point, and so I want to end on it.
The safer you want to be, the lower chance you have of leveling up in confidence, success, and status. When you’re willing to fail, you can go so much further than your competition that it’s crazy.
For example, if you get rejected more from approaching more girls, you learn faster than the competition: better ways of approaching, better ways of creating rapport, better ways of creating chemistry, better ways of eye contact and so on and so on.
[Read: How to be the Hot Guy – 20 rules to instant hotness]
The next time you look at a man who just seems a cut above you and 99% of others men – while you’re wondering how to be attractive to women – note the battle scars that you can’t see from the many, many rejections and experiments he’s put himself through, and do the same.
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