I bet you’ve already heard time and time again how important communication is in relationships. You already know that you need to talk about your feelings and be open and honest with each other. But there’s still a major lack of communication in relationships.
In fact, it’s one of the primary reasons couples break up. It’s not because they can’t work together, but because one or both people don’t know how to talk to their partner in a way that’ll make them understand. And when you can’t talk about your problems, you can’t fix them.
Talking it out can solve the major issues in relationships
Are you unsatisfied with your sex life? You can fix that by communicating. Are you unhappy with something your partner keeps doing? You can fix that by communicating. Almost every issue you have can be discussed and talked through.
The only issues that really can’t be solved with discussion are your core morals and values. If those don’t align and you’re having problems because of it, your relationship just can’t last. Other than that, communication and discussing your problems will help. [Read: 10 big problems in a relationship and how to fix them]
How to fix a lack of communication in relationships
Obviously, some people aren’t good at talking about their feelings. They have a hard time with confrontation and this can lead to problems in their relationships. If that’s you or you have a partner like that, you’ll want to know how to fix it.
#1 Prevention is best. The best thing you can really do is start your relationship with great communication. Right from the very beginning, make sure you’re working toward discussing your issues.
It’s much easier to prevent having an issue with communication than it can be to fix it. So if you’re starting a new relationship, get on top of talking about your relationship regularly right away. You’ll be thankful for it later. [Read: 8 problems that will make your relationship stronger]
#2 Start small. Don’t try to go from never communicating to doing it all the time. It’ll feel weird and forced and you’ll both have issues. Start small. Just ask them if they’re happy with you and with the relationship.
If you notice they’re doing something that’s upsetting to you, just calmly say, “I just feel very uncomfortable when you talk about that,” and see how they respond. It’s better to ease into things when you’re having issues.
#3 Ask a lot of questions. The best way to get your partner to open up is to just ask questions. Sometimes they may not think about bringing something to your attention until you ask. When you ask, you’ll usually be given an honest answer.
Ask them things like, “Did I upset you when I did that?” if you notice they’re acting a little annoyed. Get them talking more by leading the conversation there. [Read: 25 important questions to ask your significant other]
#4 Don’t ever ignore when your partner is upset with you. If you notice that your significant other is pissed, don’t ignore it. Yes, you can give them their space to be upset, but make sure you’re asking them about it when they’ve calmed down. Otherwise, your problems will get swept under the rug and grow into unsolvable issues.
#5 Make communicating a regular habit. The easiest way to fix a lack of communication in relationships is to just make a habit out of it. Regularly discuss the things that are upsetting you and also what makes you really happy about your relationship.
You should get to a point where being quiet about your relationship feels weird. Open up and talk about things every day and make sure you’re bringing up things you want to solve ASAP.
#6 Actually pay attention when your significant other is talking. Don’t just nod and ignore them because you think they’re nagging. You may miss very important pieces of information because you’re spacing out. This is especially true if your partner isn’t great at communication yet. They’ll likely slip little hints into everyday conversation. Pay attention. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]
#7 Carve out time to dedicate to bettering your relationship. Take a weekend every month and focus on your relationship. Spend alone time together and talk about any problems you want to work on. Make sure you’re both on the same page and nurture your bond.
#8 Figure out your partner’s triggers. If there’s something you do that upsets them and you’ve noticed a trend, ask them about it. You’ll also want to make sure you’re aware of signs when they get upset. Again, this is more important for when your significant other isn’t great at communicating yet.
#9 Don’t hold back. Obviously, you don’t want to be mean when talking your problems out. However, you also don’t want to downplay how you’re really feeling, either. If something is bothering you to the point where you’re thinking about it often, make sure to tell them that. [Read: 10 tips to help you open up about your kinky side]
#10 Make sure your partner understands you. It’s easy to sit and talk about something but your significant other might not always understand where you’re coming from. Communication is pointless unless both parties are fully aware of the issue.
How communication can save your relationship
#1 You’ll know when there are problems. Some people go a very long time without realizing their partner is unhappy. They just have no clue because their significant other never spoke up and told them. Great communication can help both people become aware of problems within the relationship. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
#2 You’ll create a deeper bond. Communicating helps you bond closer. You’ll have a better understanding of the other person and it can make you grow closer as a couple when you work to solve issues together.
#3 Your issues will become less and less. The more you communicate, the less big problems you’ll have. You’ll be able to get through issues faster and faster, and that means you’ll have fewer overall.
#4 You’ll have a much happier relationship. When you have fewer problems to deal with, you’re happier. When you understand your partner better, you’ll be able to avoid issues and enjoy each other’s company more. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]
#5 You’ll never feel like you can’t get through something. Sure, there may be some things you just can’t get through as a couple and that’s usually when it’s time to call it quits. However, if you love that person, having great communication can help you feel as though you can get through anything.
[Read: A guide for effective communication in a relationship]
Don’t let your relationship suffer. When you know a lack of communication in relationships is one of the main reasons couples separate, you should be actively working toward making your own better.
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