You go out with your friends on a Friday night. This guy has been eyeing you the minute you got inside the club. You think, “Well, he’s cute. Why not?” You took so many shots that you forgot how many you’ve had, and you can feel a surge of confidence in your swagger too.
You pass by the cutie every now and then, and strike up a conversation. You hit it off. You both know what you want. You take more shots. After a couple of minutes grinding and caressing and even some necking, you leave the club and head to the nearest room you can find. [Read: 16 telltale signs that it’s just a one night stand]
You get naked and finish the whole thing in less than 30 minutes. You’ve capped off a night of drinking with some awesome sex, so you head off to sleep. You wake up the following day with a headache and no guy beside you. No number. Not even a hint that someone was there the night before. Where did you go wrong?
Why did he run off without so much as a goodbye?
There are several reasons why guys run away after sleeping with you. These reasons may be because of their personal preferences, reasons you can never understand, as they are from a guy’s point of view, or simply because they know what a one night stand is. Either way, we’re here to offer up some explanations.
#1 Somebody’s waiting for him. Have you ever thought that perhaps, he is actually going home to his significant other? It doesn’t mean he is married, he is probably dating someone or is in a relationship, but just can’t help sleeping with other girls.
There are men like that, and we can’t fault them for acting that way. There must be a reason why they can’t stay with just one girl, and we have to accept that. [Read: 10 worst people to have a one night stand with]
#2 Workaholic Diaries. If some guys have significant others, some guys have significant work habits. It may sound weird, having to run away after sleeping with you because of work.
But it’s true. There are a million guys out there who wouldn’t compromise their busy work schedules, just to engage in a relationship that they know wouldn’t last. You’re actually lucky he ran away. Imagine having to compete with work. That wouldn’t end well, either. [Read: 5 ways to tell if he’s emotionally unavailable]
#3 It’s all a daze. He could probably be so intoxicated and he hasn’t gotten laid for quite some time now. So that’s all he wants to do and nothing else. You were there. You were flirting back. You seemed to show him you were available.
The reason why he ran away is the same reason why he slept with you in the first place – he was just drunk and horny. No explanation needed.
#4 The pajama party syndrome. You had the best sex of your life, ever. And you felt the intense chemistry between the two of you, in the club and on the bed. You think you’ve finally found someone who can keep up with your witty jokes and your insatiable sexual hunger. So when he finished putting on his clothes and has freshened up, you invite him to stay the night instead.
He looks at you, seems confused or possibly still drunk, and mumbles something you cannot understand and sprints to the door. Did you scare him away? Possibly. But what was it that made him scared? You wanted him to stay the night, and you violated rule number one of one night stands – no one stays the night by requesting it. If he wanted to, he would’ve stayed. But he didn’t. [Read: 12 dating stereotypes of women in man’s mind]
#5 Food for thought. What’s worse than asking him to stay, sleep, and spoon until the sun comes up? Breakfast. His worst nightmare, especially if he is a serial one night stand-er. He probably stayed the night because he was too drunk to drive or he was also tired, and didn’t mind having to sleep next to a stranger.
But asking him to stay longer when he wakes up to see each other’s morning faces, sans makeup and the darkness of the club, well, that’s a different story. Now that he has the energy to bolt out the door, he probably will.
#6 Picky. Have you ever thought that perhaps, he didn’t really like you? Have you ever thought that maybe, he had his eye on someone else in the club or bar, but the first or second pick weren’t responding so he picked you as the third best option?
It is a bit hard to fathom why some guys would like to just sleep with who is available, rather than hunt down who they want. But hey, it’s okay since we all go for the next best thing from time to time, right? If you can’t have the person that you want, then you’d choose the next available one.
#7 Reality bites. Have you seen those romantic comedies where the guy is already in love with a girl, but he still denies it? He goes on a one night stand spree, because he wants to know if what he feels is true. He sleeps with you, wakes up and realizes that he is indeed in love with another special girl. You were just his wake up call.
On the brighter side of things, realize as well that you helped him sort out his feelings. Sleeping with him didn’t end in vain.
#8 Rhythmic complications. Sometimes, sex isn’t just sex. There’s this thing they call sexual compatibility. Even if you did the horizontal tango, there’s still a huge possibility that the guy didn’t enjoy himself. Heck, maybe in your inebriated haze, you didn’t enjoy yourself as much, either.
This is something that you will never definitively confirm, and you can think about it for days, but you will probably never completely understand why he left. So don’t try to figure it out. It’s not worth your time.
#9 What you hear is what you get. If you want more than just a one night stand, then be careful of the words that you use. Sometimes, the guys are listening intently to the things that you say, and if they hear something that irks them, they will definitely be heading out the door.
If your one night stand is really something that you think has potential, you should not hide what you truly feel. Being honest is a plus, but if you think this guy may not reciprocate the way you feel, keep your musings to yourself, lest you get a sharp rebuttal!
#10 One. It’s just a one night stand, not two nights, not three, and it will never be more than that. There shouldn’t even be a reason for him to run away from you, because that’s what one night stands are all about.
It would definitely be better if you don’t expect anything from him, even though he sweet talked his way into your panties in the club. No one should be believed, especially if they are under the influence of alcohol and horny at the same time. Worst combination ever.
Truth be told, you can never really tell why a guy ran away after sleeping with you, unless you see him some time later and you ask him. Even so, you won’t be able to know if he is going to tell you the truth.
The easiest way to get through a situation like this is to just tell yourself that it is what it is. A one night stand, or a sexual escapade. It cannot become a relationship later on, unless you see each other and start dating. [Read: 10 sneaky techniques guys use to sleep with you]
Whatever his reasons were for scampering off after your night of passion, just take it in your stride and move on along. You deserve better than a guy who just runs off without so much as a goodbye.
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