When you go on a regular date, you spend two or three hours sitting with your date. Then, of course, there is small talk and flirting. But with speed dating, well, everything speeds up. And the right speed dating questions are essential.
Speed dating is a great way to bypass small talk and get those big questions out in the open and answered. [Read: 60 get to know you questions for a new romance]
You may think speed dating is silly, and you are just using it to see if you have a connection. That is fine, but if you’re hoping to take this fun game and turn it into something more, you’ll want to ask the questions that really matter.
Sure, it may be easier to ask about what they’re binging on Netflix, but does that matter in the long run? Will their TV preferences lead to a real date?
Think about what matters to you in someone you’re dating. What are your dealbreakers? These are the things you should be asking. Unfortunately, you don’t have much time to really get insight into these people, so asking some deeper speed dating questions is what it takes. [Read: 20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]
Get your pen and notepad out because you’ll want to write these speed dating questions down for your next dating event.
Now, be sure you aren’t just asking them in order and definitely don’t read from that list you made. Instead, pick and choose the questions that matter to you, so you get the most out of these speed dating questions.
It’s a good opportunity to see why they think they’re single, and what they are searching for. A fling or a relationship? This is probably the most common speed dating question. [Read: The thirst is real: 15 realities of being single for too long]
This is a great introductory question to learn a lot about someone from what career they’ve chosen.
Maybe their work and education are completely different. You never know. It’s a good way to see why they went down that road. Asking this speed dating question can also help you find out what you have in common.
Well, this question is more for you. Do they want to get married in the future or not? Maybe you two are heading down different paths.
They say age is just a number, but it’s always nice to know how old someone is.
Do they like sleeping in late and watching Saturday morning cartoons? Maybe they’ll be a great match for you, or maybe they like 6 am hikes—who knows *unless you ask*. [Read: 50 perfect questions to know instantly if someone’s right for you]
Are you ready to date a man who already has a family? Are they interested in growing their family? These are important questions to ask if you envision a future with someone.
This is something people without kids rarely think about, but it is a huge deal, so it should be on your list of speed dating questions.
If you’re looking for a long-term partner, then this question must be brought up. If you’re dying to start a family, and they don’t want kids, it might not be a good fit.
Maybe you’re allergic to cats, and well, they’re a cat lover. Or maybe they hate dogs, and you have five.
If they don’t care for animals in general, just make note of that. It’s weird. If they find this speed dating question odd because everyone should like animals, you’re golden.
You can tell a lot about a person based on the types of films they watch, so pay attention.
If you have the travel bug and they don’t, that will be a huge problem. [Read: 9 reasons traveling is a great test of compatibility]
This is a great question to see what they consider to being their ultimate destination. Maybe it’s rugged or perhaps more peaceful.
How their friends describe them is what they are in the truest sense.
Maybe they’ll show you right then and there! And this question is a more lighthearted one to balance out the more intense. This may not be the most intimate speed dating question, but it is good to keep some of them light
If they don’t share a similar lifestyle as you, this could be a challenge. This is a good way to see how they live their life and their long-term goals for where they want to live. [Read: How to get to know someone on a date in no time]
Maybe they still can achieve it, but, regardless, it’s interesting to see what their dreams are and why they didn’t or did follow them.
Okay, you need to know this. What do they want? Can you give it to them? This is something that is sort of a must-have speed dating question if you want to be sure you’re on the same page.
Relationships are built on a two-way street, so you need to be on the same page of what you and your partner value.
If you’re marrying this person, you should be on the same page regarding understanding and respect for each other’s beliefs. [Read: 10 inconvenient truths about intercultural relationships]
Is he a winter boy? Or a beach girl? Do your seasons match?
I know this sounds all lovey-dovey, but this reveals if they are romantic or not. This speed dating question will take you into a discussion why you agree or disagree.
Listen, you can have different political beliefs, but they may cause some friction at the dinner table. Know it ahead of time.
This is a great way to hear a sentimental story from them about their first love, and it’s sweet.
Maybe they love death metal, and you like classical. People who date usually have similar tastes in music or at least respect the other genre.
Do they have any long-term goals? If they don’t know the answer to this question, they haven’t taken the time to think about what they want. This speed dating question opens your eyes to the future.
This one is critical. Sex is a major part of the relationship, so if you’re sexually energetic but your potential date isn’t, there’s going to be an issue. [Read: How important is sex in a relationship? The truth revealed]
This one is just a given. Who wants to be alone all morning while their partner still snores away.
Who knows what they’ll say? It’s just a fun question to ask in between all the serious ones.
Maybe you guys like the same television show, or maybe you like the same genre of shows. If so, you guys can watch it on your second date. This may be a little shallow, but TV plays a big role in dating now. This speed dating question could kick off something great.
Does he bite his nails? Does she burp at the table? Will you be able to stand their habits?
Well, we all have a horrible first date story, so you might as well share them and laugh together.
And we all have done something generally embarrassing, so it’s a good way to have a laugh and get to know the real person. Can they laugh at themselves? [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility]
Maybe they’re bilingual—that’s hot. Knowing a second language is incredibly sexy. Plus, why not know another language?
Another good way to start a conversation and get to know this person. If you’re a real bookworm, and the last book they read was a few years back, well, it might not be a match.
This time, they should think about what type of partner they want. Do you see yourself in their description? This speed dating question could feel like you’re putting them on the spot, but that’s what this is all about in a way. [Read: 8 important questions you have to ask on a speed date]
Maybe it’s watching their sister graduate university or their parents buying a house. This will help you learn what really matters to them.
If they don’t do anything, well, their anger just builds inside, and that’s not healthy for anyone.
Is it hearing babies laugh or watching a great comedy? Maybe it is a secret love for the Hallmark channel. [Read: Ready to charm? How to be witty and win over anyone]
This is a great way to see how their relationships are with immediate family members.
Or in other words, are you an optimist or a pessimist? Will an optimist annoy you? Will their attitude to life turn you off? This is something that isn’t often considered. But, including it in your speed dating question list can really open your eyes to problems that could arise later.
This question reveals what a potential partner values. It shows a different person, if it is a red sports car or starting a foundation to help sick children. Not bad, just different.
Gone skinny-dipping? See how wild they truly are.
What turns them on? A smile? Or long legs?
Where do their insecurities hide? Or maybe they are comfortable in their own skin. Even if they are confident, their answer to this speed dating question will give you some insight into how they view themselves. [Read: 60 get to know you questions for a new romance]
What gets them out of bed every day? It’s important to see what they love to do and why they do it.
Hopefully, it’s something fun you can join in doing. Water skiing? Laser tag? Reading?
This is a heavy question, but it needs to be asked. What were their past relationships like and how long did they last? Have they ever had a partner? Have they dated someone for longer than a few months?
This is a speed dating question people may not want to answer because it can bring up some deep stuff. But, it is important to have the answer to this. [Read: Is dating really the best way to get over your ex?]
Whether you’re asking where their parents originate from or where they live, you’ll learn something. Just be sure they know that they don’t have to tell you their address.
Maybe they are a seasoned professional or maybe new to it just like you. [Read: 20 questions to ask on a first date for the best conversation]
This is a great speed dating question. They may have to think a little, but it tells you a lot. If someone says something like there aren’t many good people out there, it shows they are a little bitter.
But if they share how they can improve themselves or take things slow and get to know someone, it really says they may be ready for something serious.
This is an obvious question to ask at speed dating, and it is also something you should answer. If you would never date someone who smokes and they smoke, this won’t work.
Also share things that seem important. If you don’t drink and they work at a nightclub, things could get complicated.
This speed dating question helps you find out if you are both into the same things. It will also clue you into what to plan for a future date if you end up clicking.
If someone can’t come up with a bad habit they have, they are lying. And that is a red flag in and of itself. Some people may say they are too trustworthy, others may say they eat too late at night, and a few might say road rage. This lets you know that they are aware of their shortcomings and have a level of humility. [Read: 16 powerful secrets to better yourself]
This is very telling. Usually when people are complimented they remember it. Are they often praised for their killer organization or hilarious banter? Do other people see what you see in them?
If you are a clean freak and think being with someone who is more on the messy side would drive you nuts this is super useful to know early on. The same goes for finding out if you are both equally clean or equally messy.
Some people really love PDA. It makes them feel seen and like their partner is proud to be with them. But, some people are too shy for that.
The answer to this speed dating question can help you find out if you agree on this subject and if not, why.
This answer may not come into play until you’re having sleepovers, but it is still a good indicator of the type of life someone leads.
If they are up at the crack of dawn exercising and you love to sleep in, will you be able to adjust? Are they super active while you’re more of a homebody?
This isn’t a dealbreaker, but it is interesting to get the answer to. Asking this speed dating question lets you know if it is their goal to open up 20 restaurants across the country or settle into a good position where they are. Do you have similar goals?
How someone views their past is very telling. Are they running from it? Maybe they have a lot of regrets? Or maybe they see their past as a stepping stone to their future. Do you agree? [Read: How to find closure after a relationship]
This is a fun speed dating question because each person you ask will likely have a different answer. will they focus on your looks or go deeper?
Everyone worries what others think of them to some extent. Even if you try not to, there is one thing you always worry about.
Does this person worry they come off too shy or too pushy? Maybe they think they are too loud or cold. It is so interesting to see what they worry about versus how you see them.
This is sure to be hilarious. Let’s just hope it isn’t from you. I doubt it will be with this killer list of speed dating questions.
This is a good way to find out their opinions of one of the biggest things happening in America right now. Are they caught up? Are they familiar? You can also rework this question to ask about something relevant in the news that you feel passionate about.
There are the facts, but getting someone’s opinion on this is interesting. Do they think it is somewhere that runs slowly where people are relaxed? Maybe they prefer the hustle and bustle of a busy city.
There is a huge difference between their current job, their dream job, and their childhood dream job. This tells you what sort of kid they were and if their current self still aligns with that.
As much as looks shouldn’t matter, we all have our fair share of insecurities. This question could become very deep as these things are quite personal, but finding out why they answered how they did is even more telling.
It is good to know the answer to this speed dating question. Are they newly single? Maybe as of last night? Have they been single for ages? [Read: Why am I single? The excuses and the truth]
Was it a friend that forced you out of your comfort zone? Maybe you thought what could it hurt? Do you have hope this could work out?
Turn the tables on them and have them get to know you. This is a two-way street.
You don’t have to ask all of these speed dating questions. In fact, you won’t even have time to ask them all. So, pick the ones that speak to you and let the sparks fly!
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