Why do men watch porn? Well, why do women watch porn? There are a number of reasons why men enjoy porn and not all reasons are negative.
Porn is one of those things that most of us are on the fence about – in some ways, it’s exciting, in other ways, it’s kind of gross. No matter what your preferences are, porn gives you an instant hit of arousal and it’s super-easy to access nowadays, thanks to the online world. So if you’re wondering why do men watch porn or are obsessed with it, we’ve got the answers for you.
Now, we’re not going to suggest that all men are obsessed with porn! We know some guys who don’t watch it because they find it totally unrealistic and it does nothing for them. However, we also know guys who literally spend hours glued to their screens watching porn.
No judgment here, do whatever makes you happy. [Read: Happy sex life – what a good sex life should look like in real life]
It’s not that women don’t watch porn, of course they do, and there are a growing number of adult companies that are making female-friendly content to push toward a growing demand for a spot of X-rated fun. But it has always been a world intrinsically linked with men.
So, why do men watch porn? What are the underlying reasons? And, if your guy seems to love a spot of online action, should you be worried about it? [Read: The real feminist porn picks – unfaking porn and celebrating female sexuality]
If they say they don’t watch, research says they do
Studies have shown that of the pornography viewed, 90% of it is seen online, while the other 10% is from old-fashioned DVDs. In addition, single men watched an average of 40 minutes as many as three times per week, while those who are in a committed relationship watched an average of 1.5 times per week, for approximately 20 minutes.
Take heart, though: if you are worried about finding your man watching porn, the same study concluded that it had no negative effect on guys at all. [Check out: Good reasons why women should watch porn]
There is nothing that can spark a fight more than a woman finding porn on a guy’s computer or smartphone. Although different in every relationship, many women feel that it is a betrayal or that guys do it because they want something different than what they have.
We have all heard the argument, “the devil made me do it,” but when it comes to guys and porn, nature made them do it. It isn’t that a guy is trying to disrespect you or that he doesn’t find you attractive—guys are wired to seek out sexual variety. [Read: Being sex positive – why this matters and why you need to get on board]
Survival of the species rests in… Porn?
Studies on laboratory rats show that a rat will copulate with the same female for only so long. After a while, the male rat is no longer interested. No matter what the female does to entice him, the male rat will not engage.
When researchers drop in a new female, however, the male rat takes interest in copulating again. This occurrence is called the “Coolidge Effect.”
Although humans interact with each other more socially and emotionally than animals, the same effect has been shown to exist in men. Studies have shown that males have the drive to seek out a variety of partners after being exposed to the same female partner for so long. [Read: Popular moves from porn that guys do but women hate]
The reason why they desire other women is not that they don’t love the woman that they are with, respect her, or even adore her. Watching porn, for a man, has nothing to do with an emotional connection, or the way that he feels about the woman he is with.
Instead, porn is a way that a man can fantasize about new experiences. They were created to spread their genes to as many female mates as possible to carry on the human species.
Sure, having more sex in their lives may curb their porn needs, but even in the most abundant sexual relationship, a man will search out pornography when available. [Read: What men like in bed – 32 things they want and absolutely lust after]
So, why do men watch porn?
Men like porn for a lot of reasons. Here are a few that could help you understand his interest in all things naked on his computer screen.
1. He just likes boobs
A man can never see enough of them. All breasts may seem the same for women, but those subtle dissimilarities between one pair and another make the men want to see all of them. [Read: Why men like breasts]
2. To learn new things to try in bed
Most of the time, men watch porn only to satisfy themselves, but every now and then, men watch porn because it’s funny or completely unique. It’s a fun pastime that men enjoy.
It’s also a good way to pick up tips they can then try to impress the lady in their life.
3. Masturbation is fun
In all honesty, hanging out with his hands in his shorts can, at times, feel a lot better than sex. There’s no stress, and the fun time can stretch on for hours.
And the best part, he gets to see so many naked women while having fun at the same time. [Read: 37 health benefits of masturbation, bad side effects, and other must-knows]
4. Men are curious
Guys are curious beings and they’re super-curious about naked bodies. So, with all that untamed curiosity, it’s easy to imagine why men can’t wait to see and learn about different women’s body parts. [Read: What goes on in a man’s mind when he stares at women?]
5. Women in porn seem happier and easier to please than real-life women
Okay, this might sound harsh, but it’s actually not as bad as it sounds. Porn is a form of escapism, and you’ll often see the women in porn movies as super happy and really eager to please.
It’s a no-stress escape from everyday life.
6. Porn requires zero emotional investment
Which makes it easy, right?
7. He doesn’t viscerally feel any negative consequences of using porn
He doesn’t feel that what he is doing is wrong or bad, so why would he stop? It’s because he enjoys what he’s watching and he doesn’t feel it’s affecting him in a negative way. [Read: Why ditching your porn habit could improve your life]
8. He can watch his fantasies being acted out
Everyone has a range of fantasies in their minds, but porn allows us to watch them in real life. That’s pretty enticing, you have to admit.
This might also mean that a guy can watch a fantasy acted out and he doesn’t need to ask his partner to do it with him. He might be worried about what she might think and find that porn gives him a way to satisfy his fantasies without upsetting the one he loves.
Why men watching porn has nothing to do with you
First things first, let’s get this out there. The fact your guy might watch porn regularly, semi-regularly, or occasionally generally has no reflection on his relationship with you or the way he sees you sexually.
It’s very likely that he is extremely satisfied with your sex life. The fact he likes to watch other people have sex on the TV doesn’t mean he’s not loving what you get up to between the sheets.
Overall, why men watch porn isn’t because he’s not satisfied with his own sex life, it’s something else entirely, or perhaps a few different reasons.
The truth is that men are turned on easily by visual means, whereas women often need an emotional connection, a feeling of safety, and to be relaxed and turned on in a mental way. Men don’t really need this.
So, porn gives them the perfect way to get off quickly, and the huge range of different specialties out there means he can choose whatever he wants to get there. [Read: The dirty secrets about the female porn industry]
It hurts to find your man wanting to see other women
It is not a fun thing to open up your significant other’s cell to see that he has been watching other women, even when it is random strangers. Confused and offended, you might think, “Why am I not enough?”
What you need to realize is that you are enough. If he didn’t want to be with you, he would be with someone else.
Seeing text messages from another woman, or his arms around someone else is a betrayal. Finding that he has engaged in peeping into the sessions of another guy’s sexual encounter—or sometimes many participants—says nothing about your relationship. [Check out: Reasons lesbian porn is way hotter than straight porn]
Pornography used to be something that a man could only get his hands on when he had the nerve to rent a movie, but it is everywhere now. Accessible day and night, and free. The problem is that things aren’t going to change, nor can you change your man.
If there is one thing that is certain in every relationship, it is this: you are both who you are, you have your desires, and you aren’t going to be able to stop his urges by beating him up about it.
If you explain to him in a rational tone that it hurts your feelings or makes you feel insecure, he ought to have no problem keeping his activities hidden or just not watching altogether.
There are times in a relationship when you have to pick your battles and decide for yourself whether this is a worthy battle to wage. [Next, read: Why men watch porn instead of their woman in bed]
A little bit of what you fancy…
We mentioned this briefly earlier, but it’s also possible that a guy likes to watch a certain type of porn, but he knows his partner isn’t comfortable doing this in real life. In that case, he’s getting his outlet through watching porn and enjoying different elements of sexual connection with his partner.
In some ways, you could say it’s a positive thing.
Of course, if you’ve ever watched porn of any type, you’ll know that in this world, partners never become tired, they’re always very willing and smiling, and they enjoy it. Real life isn’t always like this, and sometimes an escape from reality is what you need. [Read: Why guys need porn even if they have a woman to have sex with?]
Some guys also watch porn as a way to release *in more ways than one* stress and anxiety in their day-to-day life. Porn doesn’t judge, it doesn’t demand, and it doesn’t want to know what’s going on in life, it simply delivers the quick hit that someone needs and the instant relief.
When you look at it in this way, the reasons why men watch porn suddenly seem pretty understandable. [Read: Male sexual fantasies – 16 top dirty desires every guy has in mind]
When to get help
Despite all the positive reasons why men watch porn, there are some warnings we have to consider.
Watching porn is normal and in some ways healthy, but there is a line. If your guy is watching porn all the time and he doesn’t seem interested in having actual sex with you, there needs to be an intervention.
Also, if a guy is watching a lot of porn and he’s suddenly demanding certain sexual acts from his partner that they don’t feel comfortable with, that’s a huge problem. [Read: Signs you’re addicted to porn and 15 steps to break out of it]
It’s very easy to get a distorted view of what realistic sex is when you watch too much porn. It’s also possible to get a totally unrealistic view of what male and female bodies should look like.
The point we’re trying to make is that a little porn every now and again for healthy reasons is a good thing. It can give an outlet and release stress, and let’s be honest, it can be fun!
However, when it starts to take over someone’s life and they’re watching it whenever they get spare time, they need to start questioning why they’re spending so much time watching other people get their rocks off.
[Read: The 25 most common porn myths that people still believe]
Why do men watch porn? Sometimes porn can be an escape to a different world, somewhere away from the stresses and strains of daily life. And other times it’s simply that a guy wants to hit fast-forward and reach the finish line on his own.
