Porn might be considered normal to the majority of adults, but is it possible that it’s actually hindering your life? Here’s why quitting is a necessity.
I imagine a lot of you read the headline and were outraged at the suggestion. How could you ever quit watching porn!?
Before we all had broadband internet and smartphones, porn was most definitely not what it is today. Yes, you could get magazines or DVDs/videos, but it required going and buying them in public, which definitely had a stigma attached to it. It wasn’t something that was commonplace, like the internet has made it in the last decade.
Even for us as men in today’s world, I think there are definite benefits for shunning the porn habit, at least for a reasonable period of time. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but it could have a significant effect on your love life when you manage to do so.
Why you should kick the habit
1. Consider it a challenge
The very fact that it’s hard to stop can make it worthwhile. It is a habit that we have all developed and requires determination and self-control to break. Anything that fosters personal skills will help us to go farther in life, when we can apply them to other endeavours. [Read: 5 signs you’re addicted and 15 ways to get over porn!]
Chances are, your porn consumption is habitual. Either you do it at a set time *before bed, first thing in the morning, etc.* or as a response to a certain situation *boredom, loneliness, etc.* Any habit that is not bettering us or serving our best interests should be replaced by a habit that is more useful. Imagine how much more content you would be, how much better thought clarity and happiness you would have if, instead of spending 20 minutes watching porn before bed, you spent 20 minutes meditating.
Porn is a waste of time, essentially. It’s not helping us in life, and while we have desires that do need to be satisfied, porn and masturbation never really fully satisfy the urge. We still have the urge come back to it again pretty quickly, and I would argue that that time would be better spent satisfying it properly, with a real partner, instead of our hand.
2. You’ll be forced out of your comfort zone
Porn can make us less likely to actually exert the effort of meeting women in real life. As soon as you start to feel horny, you can easily and quickly rectify it, then go back to whatever you were doing before.
Unfortunately, sexual urges are only some of numerous reasons we might want to meet women. Porn will not give us companionship, it will not prevent us from feeling lonely, and it will not improve our confidence and social skills. [Read: How to ask a girl out when you’re a shy guy]
By quitting porn, you are forced to take action. You’ll be pushed out of your comfort zone, forcing you to approach women and to get better at attracting and dating them. You’ll have significantly more motivation to do this once you’ve stopped relying on porn to keep you satisfied. [Read: How to choose the perfect wingman while meeting women]
Not only will your desire and effort put in to meeting women increase, but the focus and drive that you put into everything else will change as well. Whether it’s at work, the gym, or playing a sport. It’s common for athletes to avoid sex and masturbation for a few days before competition. It builds focus, aggression, and desire that can be channelled into excelling on the field. And this can work just as well in the office.
3. Up your drive
Drive is closely related to testosterone. After ejaculating *I’m sure you can relate,* you barely have the drive to get out of bed, let alone do anything meaningful. By masturbating, you are essentially killing your own drive to achieve, not only in the present moment, but also in the long run. It has a cumulative effect over time. Perpetually being unmotivated and lazy will keep you in the habit of feeling un-driven. [Read: 20 easy life-changing hacks for 20-something guys]
But with a greater drive, better habits, and better uses of your time, you’ll likely achieve more, which will result in a boost of self-confidence, both in the realm of meeting women and in general life. Confidence leads to greater success, happiness, and fulfilment. The more driven you are, the more confident, successful, and happy you will be.
Or, you could just spend your evenings on dodgy websites and live in a fantasy world. That works really well. Until you log off, anyway. Then you crash back to reality.
4. Get offline
In general, we have become over-reliant on the internet for everything. It’s not healthy to use porn as a cop-out for not socializing, meeting new people, or improving our communication skills. It’s less painful to log on the internet than it is to get rejected by a girl at the bar, but in the long run, the latter is going to benefit you more.
As your social skills develop and you become better able to navigate social situations, your dating life will improve, along with friendships, business endeavours, and general interactions with other human beings—in the real world. [Read: The types of women you can expect to meet at a bar]
5. You’ll have better sex
Let’s face it: sex is better that porn. A lot better. No amount of porn and “handiwork” will ever come close to the real thing. Yes, it subdues some of the urges, but why settle for second best? When we quit relying on porn, the sex we are having will be better still.
The longer you have been without a release, the better it feels. The more you interact in the real world instead of through a screen, the greater the connection and meaning you can build behind sex.
6. You’ll quit comparing
Who is guilty of comparing themselves or their partner to porn stars, even if only on a subconscious level?
This creates two problems: the comparison of yourself *because, let’s be honest, I doubt many of us match up to porn star proportions,* and the comparison of your partner.
I don’t have a 12-inch penis and, contrary to what it might feel like if you watch porn all of the time, neither do most people! As for the women involved, it can create a false expectation of both how women look and how women have sex.
Porn stars are made of various pieces of silicone, vast amounts of makeup, lighting and camera angles, multiple takes, and airbrushing. Women in the real world just do not look like they do on screen. Just like movie stars look better on the front cover of magazines than they do in reality, women in porn are made up and fake. We don’t want to create wild, false expectations, then find that people in real life do not match up. [Read: Skinny models and size zero]
As for the actual act of having sex, porn is for the camera. It is for the enjoyment of the person watching, not the person doing it. A lot of what you see is probably not even that enjoyable, and the majority of the women are faking moans and screams. In real life, sex is not the same as in porn, and if you don’t know the difference, it’s going to hinder how good your real sex life is. You want to focus on what feels good for you and your partner, not on what looks good on camera!
[Read: The introvert guy’s smooth guide to pick up girls at bars]
Although porn use is a common habit, there are increasing bodies of research that suggest it can be harmful to our relationships. As the points above can attest, you would do well to ditch your porn habit and get out into the real world and start interacting with real women and experiencing real sex.
