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The Dating Girl Code All Girls Need to Know

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Want to be desirable, irresistible, and oh-so-awesome in the eyes of any guy you date? Follow these 16 tips on the dating girl code to do just that. By Gerry Sanders

Every guy wants to date a nice girl.

And yet, most guys walk all over a nice girl when they fall in love with one.

As a guy, I’ve had my share of lovers.

Some girls I’ve pursued harder and some girls I’ve never given a damn about *even though they were absolute stunners!*

[Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never really like you back]

If what most people say were to be true, that guys fall for only a girl’s appearance all the time, then every single good looking girl in the world must be experiencing the best relationship in the world, wouldn’t you say?

But that’s just not true, is it?

There are so many great looking girls who are bitter in love and are walked over by guys all the time.

So what then, do guys want?

The dating code for girls

To have the best relationships of your life, you need to understand these dating girl codes. It’ll help you understand a guy’s mind better, and make him fall harder for you.

[Read: How to impress a guy in 13 oh-so-awesome ways!]

But before going any further into these dating codes for girls, let’s spend a few lines on what attracts guys to a girl and make her desirable.

Let me get this out first. A guy definitely does fall for a girl’s appearance. But it’s not as simple as it sounds. A guy won’t fall just for her appearance. He’ll fall for a girl’s perceived appearance.

If all other guys think a girl is attractive, he’ll think she’s attractive too. [Read: How to make a guy like you by making him and other guys want you]

But then again, a girl’s appearances may give her a second glance, and her attractiveness may draw a guy to her for a date or two. But beyond that, there’s something a lot more crucial that you need to know to keep a guy interested in you.

And that’s the real secret code behind the game of romance and making a guy fall hard for you.

The two phases of romance

To experience a happy relationship with a guy, you need to understand the two phases in romance.

The dating phase. And the relationship phase.

If you’ve been seeing a guy for less than a couple of months and haven’t given the relationship a real name, you’re in the dating phase.

And anything romantic beyond those first couple of months, you’re in the relationship phase. [Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples go through]

If you want to experience a perfect relationship with a guy, it’s very important that you play your part well in both these phases.

In the dating phase, you need to make the guy fall for you, and you need to make him fall hard. And the girl code mentioned here will help you do just that.

The dating girl code to be a desirable girl

If you want to attract a guy you’re dating, it’s very important that you understand these girl codes on dating. If you can make a guy realize just how awesome you are right at the beginning of the dating phase, he’ll fall harder for you, be more loyal to you, and will respect you a lot because he’ll truly understand your worth. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in you in 30 super sexy ways]

Remember, this is the girl code on dating that’s meant to be used for the first few months of the relationship. This is not the girl code for the relationship phase. [Read: How to make your boyfriend want you more when you’re in the relationship phase]

Use this code in a new relationship when you’re still testing the water, so you can let the guy know your importance.

Just like guys have the code of chivalry to impress women, girls too need to understand this dating code to impress a guy and experience better relationships.

The 16 dating girl codes all girls need to know

During the first few months when you’re dating a guy you like, keep these 16 codes in mind and follow them. By sticking to this code, you’ll let him see for himself that you’re a catch not worth leaving.

And the best part, understanding these 16 girl codes is the difference between the girls who are desired and the girls who are always walked over!

#1 Don’t misunderstand the art of playing hard to get. Guys may claim they hate girls who can’t commit within the first three dates. But the only girls guys actually desire and fall for madly are the ones who leave men hanging without any reassurances.

Test it yourself. If a nice guy has a huge crush on you and follows you like a lapdog everywhere you go, wouldn’t you treat him carelessly compared to another guy who flirts with you, but doesn’t try hard to please you? That’s called human nature. We always chase what we’re afraid we can’t have. [Read: How to make a guy chase you the right way]

#2 Don’t fall for the test. At the beginning of a relationship, the guy you date will test the waters. He may avoid calling you for a couple of days or he may ask for favors *sometimes sexual* just to see how compromising and accommodating you are. Don’t fall for it. If you don’t like doing something or don’t want to do something, stand your ground. He’ll respect you more.

#3 You’re not in love. When you start dating a guy, even though you feel like you’ve fallen madly in love with him, don’t say it out just yet. Pretend like you’re old fashioned and wait for him to say that he loves you first. If a guy knows you’re madly in love with him even before he’s fallen for you, he’ll always take you for granted, even if he doesn’t realize it himself! [Read: When should you say ‘I love you’ for the first time?]

#4 Don’t change your life. Remember, this new guy you’re dating is only a part of your life. He’s not your whole life. If you place him on a pedestal and devote all your time to him, he’ll treat you just the way you’re behaving, like a slave. Don’t change your life overnight just because you’re dating a guy. Changing all your plans just to accommodate him will only show him how crazy you are about him.

#5 Don’t whine. Don’t beg. The more you whine, the easier you are to read. If he doesn’t call you for a couple of days or if he cancels on a date in the last minute, don’t sulk or let him know you’re upset. Instead, just ignore him for a few days. If he really is trying to impress you and not just sleep with you, the fact that you seem so unbothered will threaten him and even scare him.

#6 The controlling boyfriend. A controlling boyfriend isn’t born that way. He’s created that way by you and the way you behave around him. Put your foot down and do what you want. Don’t stop talking to a guy who’s flirting with you, or don’t stop talking to an ex just because the guy you’re dating says so. By doing that, you’re only letting the guy you’re dating know that he can manipulate you and control you. You’re only dating him, he doesn’t have a say about the way you lead your life, at least not yet. [Read: 15 subtle and yet shocking signs of a controlling boyfriend]

#7 Don’t bend over backwards. If you want to make a guy like you, don’t go all out and try to please him. Most nice girls try really hard to please a guy, and go all the way from calling him over and cooking him a four course meal to spending all weekend shopping for his clothes.

Don’t bend over backwards and try to please him within the first few dates. When you’re so easy to get and so eager to please, the guy you like start to take you for granted even before both of you are in a relationship.

#8 Don’t be predictable. Don’t let him read you like a book. Block yourself emotionally to him so you seem harder to read, which makes you harder to impress, which then makes you a lot more desirable and attractive.

#9 Don’t miss him. Don’t let him know you miss him. By letting a guy you’ve been dating for a month know that you miss him or need him in your life, you’re letting him see that his hook’s caught deep in your heart. That’s his cue to sit back and take it easy, so he can watch you do all the hard work now. He’ll assume he’s done his part in wooing you, and now it’s your turn to please him and keep him happy. [Read: How men fall in love – The 7 stages of love for guys]

#10 Don’t talk about the future together. Unless you’re in a serious relationship where there’s a lot of mutual love and trust, avoid talking about the future together with the guy you’re dating. When you’re in a new relationship, always leave the man guessing about where the relationship is heading. Likewise, avoid talking about your past and your exes too.

#11 Don’t change your status. Don’t give your relationship a name just yet. There are a few girls who want the guy to name the relationship within a few weeks of dating. They can’t wait to change their facebook relationship status to share the news with the world. Don’t be that girl.

#12 Don’t share your life all at once. Communication and understanding each other completely is very important for a successful relationship. But it’s irrelevant when you’re still dating and evaluating each other as dating potentials. If you reveal everything about yourself at once, you’ll start to get boring and predictable within the next few dates.

#13 Don’t have sex. This may sound traditional, but you don’t really need to follow the three date rule before having sex with the guy you’re dating. The longer you wait, the more you’ll build the sexual tension and the attraction. Don’t give in easily, and make the guy work harder. It’ll make him realize you’re not an easy catch, and that would make him take you more seriously.

#14 Self respect. In your pursuit to impress the guy you’re dating, don’t shove your self respect under the mat. Respect yourself and don’t let him take you for granted, either by making you wait for an hour during a date, or when he cancels a date to be with his friends in the last minute.

Ignore his calls for a day or two if you must. When he does come by to your place with a bunch of flowers to apologize to you, pretend like his behavior didn’t bother you at all, and you’ve been so busy you haven’t had time to think about him. Even if he knows you’re lying, your behavior will make him feel insecure and work harder to make it up to you. [Read: How your self respect affects the kind of relationship you have with a guy]

#15 Keep yourself busy. Keep him guessing. Don’t be the girl who says “I’m so bored at home and am doing absolutely nothing at all.” Be the girl who’s always doing something. Don’t be easily available to him even if you’re idle. Have a life and keep yourself occupied all the time. The more you have fun in your own life, the more desirable you’ll be and the easier it’ll be for you to treat this guy as a part of your life and not your whole life. [Read: Why flirting isn’t really cheating when you’re in a relationship]

#16 Be a challenge. Men love challenges. Don’t be easy to please and don’t be easy to win over. It’s alright to behave like a high maintenance woman or a brat who throws a hissy fit now and then. By doing that, you’re shaking his confidence up. If he truly likes you and is interested in dating you, he’ll try harder to please you.

And when you do get into a relationship with him after a few months, he’ll love you more and respect you more because he had to work so hard to win you over in the first place.

[Read: 30 subtle, obvious and sexual flirting tips to tease a guy and make him desire you]

These dating girl codes may seem harsh, but you need to remember this. Guys value something only when they have to work hard to achieve it. Be nice to him, but don’t bend over backwards to please him, at least not for the first few months.


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Have your say!
  • anna
    September 29, 2012 | Permalink |

    Thank you this is very informative, but isn’t waiting for too long to have sex might be a turn off too? when a girl over play it, she might miss out on that window to get connected in the right moment and get into the relationship…and we are all so busy it might get annoying too?
    Another thing , some guys are so insecure and intimidated by beautiful women that sometimes it ok to say “I miss you” and then disappear for a little….it’s like you throwing it out there that you are actually interested ,but not too available at the same time. This will give him motivation and at the same time wonder where is she? I tried it worked all the time. Some times men are too scared to approach us women so unless they hear some words they often too afraid to act. Just a thought :)

  • Nicole Feast
    December 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    Thank you Love Panky! This site is very informative and supportive. I love it!

  • WCoaster
    March 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    There is some good advice here but, as a guy, I have to say that there are some things that will get a girl dropped so fast it would make your head spin.

    #14 Self Respect is very important, however playing games like “oh, didn’t call you?” or “I’ve been busy are taking advantage of a guys self respect and show that your just not that into him. For me personally it would already be over because I would read it as manipulation and control.

    A better response, in my opinion, is to let the infraction pass and the next meeting be very blunt about your feelings on the matter and then judge his worth by the response to come.

  • Rosie
    June 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    I really like this guy a lot, and we’ve been chat online for few months..We are from different country then we plan to meet. I made a BIG mistake that we had sex for the very 1st day of our date. Since then..He didn’t ‘work’ on this relationship much. I just don’t know what to do.. He told me he like me too much but never say the ‘I love you’ or make me as his gf. He plan to meet me again. But I’m just confused whether to meet him or to just forget him.

  • Regan Shedd
    July 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    Thank you for all of your advice Love Panky you will really help me a lot for this guy I have a crush on Tyler Shields at my high school… It is time to step up my game and tell him how I feel I’ve liked/loved him ever since elementary school and we went to summer school together and rode the same bus and always had nice chats but I am a shy girl even sometimes around my family… Wish me luck!

  • April
    September 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    Wow! I love this! I have dated two guys long term but had to let them go because of life changes, but by holding my self worth ( including not having sex until i felt exclusive and they had also discussed marriage)..this way both the guys were high quality guys and I had everything I ever wanted in those relationships!
    Girls worry too much of what he will think- forget that! It doesnt even matter. Don’t do stuff YOU won’t respect yourself for! This way everybody stays happy :-)

  • GC
    April 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    This is quite funny.

    What’s with the obsession of women making us work and invest so much into dating them? As soon as I see a girl is making me work too hard, I move on. I have too little time to invest in a girl that’s playing this investment manipulation game.

    Girls, if you’re into a guy, just tell him. There’s no need to make him work hard. As long as you create a really deep emotional connection with him, get him to talk about things he wouldn’t share with others, then you don’t really need any of this crap. This is what creates love.

  • Wildegrass Keiththompson
    April 23, 2014 | Permalink |

    Frankly, I feel the author has presented a point that is sort of invalid (at least in the spectrum of all men). I, for one, know that I (nor any of my friends) don’t like to work *VERY* hard to get you. This article does have some valid points, but with this kind of teasing, manipulation, and “playing hard to get” your phone number will end up in the trash quickly (or maybe the electronic trashcan of my cell phone).

    We guys like a challenge but if you dangle the string in front of the cat then snatch it away too many times, eventually the cat will stop reaching.

    In short, don’t come across as needy but please be easy on the “hard to get” front.

    -Wildegrass Keiththompson

  • Kasey
    June 8, 2014 | Permalink |

    O.K. They need to get a GUY to write these. SO MUCH here that can wreck a relationship and the trust in it FAST.
    NEVER play hard to get! science shows it lowers like, and MAY increase want. Congratulation on going from a possible girlfriend to ignored or just another notch.
    Several here tell you be dishonest. Make sure first, take your time with this, but once all doubt is gone and it has been long enough don’t be afraid to say it.
    Do not hold back or otherwise play games with sex. This is a deal breaker for many men, and screws with the emotions of others till they become unpleasant to be around. I’m NOT saying jump into bed on date three or whatever, I’m saying once you’re certain you are o.k. with it, there is no point holding back, long enough will cause him to eventually bail. “If you loved me you would” and “if you loved me you would wait” are the EXACT same emotion from opposite genders. Men approach intimacy through sex and women approach sex through Intimacy. This is one of the many places where couples must work together, not against each other.
    Don’t hide your emotions or feelings to much, yes don’t overwhelm the guy with them, it can be scary, but he still needs to be in the loop if he’s to treat you right. My ex was always doing this and it left me insecure and eventually to stop trying very hard in our relationship because I couldn’t tell when I was meeting her needs or the opposite.
    As far as being a mystery, this is stupid too, what is she hiding, and std, other lovers, dying of cancer, wanted for murdering her ex? I know for some crazy reason women want mystery in a man, but more than simply being careful about revealing private information too soon it’s a bad idea.
    Here is a simple test: Are you being open and honest with him, or playing childish games? Most men hate it when women play games.

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