If you want to be the girl that guys see as a prize, then you need to know the girl code rules for dating. Here are 21 rules to follow to do it right.
Every guy wants to date a nice girl. And yet, most guys walk all over a nice girl when they fall in love with one. That’s why you need to know the girl code rules for dating.
[Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never really like you back]
If what most people say were to be true, that guys fall for only a girl’s appearance all the time, then every single good-looking girl in the world must be experiencing the best relationship in the world, wouldn’t you say?
But that’s just not true, is it?
There are so many great-looking girls out there who are bitter in love because they are walked all over by guys all the time.
So what do guys want?
Girl code rules for dating
To have the best relationships of your life, you need to understand these dating girl codes. It’ll help you understand a guy’s mind better, and make him fall harder for you.
[Read: How to impress a guy in oh-so-awesome ways!]
But before going any further into these dating codes for girls, let’s spend a minute focusing on what attracts guys to a girl and make her desirable.
Let me get this out first. A guy definitely does fall for a girl’s appearance. But it’s not as simple as it sounds. A guy won’t fall just for her appearance. He’ll fall for a girl’s perceived appearance.
If all the other guys think a girl is attractive, he’ll think she’s attractive too. [Read: How to make a guy like you by making him and other guys want you]
But then again, a girl’s appearance may give her a second glance, and her attractiveness may draw a guy to her for a date or two. But beyond that, there’s something a lot more crucial that you need to know to keep a guy interested in you.
And that’s the real secret code behind the game of romance and making a guy fall hard for you.
The two phases of romance
To experience a happy relationship with a guy, you need to understand the two phases of romance.
The dating phase, and the relationship phase.
If you’ve been seeing a guy for less than a couple of months and you two haven’t given the relationship a real name, you’re in the dating phase.
Anything romantic beyond those first couple of months means that you’re in the relationship phase. [Read: The relationship stages all couples go through]
If you want to experience a perfect relationship with a guy, it’s very important that you play your part well in both these phases.
In the dating phase, you need to make the guy fall for you, and you need to make him fall hard. The girl code mentioned here will help you do just that.
The girl code rules for dating to be a desirable girl
If you want to attract a guy you’re dating, it’s very important that you understand these girl codes on dating. If you can make a guy realize just how awesome you are right at the beginning of the dating phase, he’ll fall harder for you, be more loyal to you, and will respect you a lot because he’ll truly understand your worth. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in you in 30 super sexy ways]
Remember, this is the girl code on dating that’s meant to be used for the first few months of the relationship. This is not the girl code for the relationship phase. [Read: How to make your boyfriend want you more when you’re in the relationship phase]
Use this code in a new relationship while you’re still testing the water, so you can let the guy know your importance.
Just like guys have the code of chivalry to impress women, girls too need to understand this dating code to impress a guy and experience better relationships.
The girl code dating rules all girls need to know
During the first few months of dating a guy you like, keep these codes in mind and follow them. By sticking to this code, you’ll let him see for himself that you’re a catch not worth leaving.
And the best part, understanding these 21 girl codes is the difference between the girls who are desired and the girls who are always walked over!
1. Don’t misunderstand the art of playing hard to get
Guys may claim they hate girls who can’t commit within the first three dates. But the only girls that guys actually desire and fall for madly are the ones who leave men hanging without any reassurances.
Test it yourself. If a nice guy has a huge crush on you and follows you like a lapdog everywhere you go, wouldn’t you treat him carelessly compared to another guy who flirts with you, but doesn’t try hard to please you? That’s called human nature. We always chase what we’re afraid we can’t have. [Read: How to make a guy chase you the right way]
2. Don’t fall for the test
At the beginning of a relationship, the guy you date will test the waters. He may avoid calling you for a couple of days or he may ask for favors *sometimes sexual* just to see how compromising and accommodating you are. Don’t fall for it. If you don’t like doing something or don’t want to do something, stand your ground. He’ll respect you more.
3. You’re not in love
When you start dating a guy, even though you feel like you’ve fallen madly in love with him, don’t say it out loud just yet. Pretend like you’re old-fashioned and wait for him to say that he loves you first.
If a guy knows you’re madly in love with him even before he’s fallen for you, he’ll always take you for granted, even if he doesn’t realize it himself! [Read: When should you say ‘I love you’ for the first time?]
4. Don’t change your life
Remember, this new guy you’re dating is only a part of your life. He’s not your whole life. If you place him on a pedestal and devote all your time to him, he’ll treat you with less respect, because he didn’t have to put in a lot of effort in order to get you.
Don’t change your life overnight just because you’re dating a guy. Changing all your plans just to accommodate him will only show him how crazy you are about him.
5. Don’t whine or beg
The more you whine, the easier you are to read. If he doesn’t call you for a couple of days or if he cancels a date at the last minute, don’t sulk or let him know you’re upset.
Instead, just ignore him for a few days. If he really is trying to impress you and not just sleep with you, the fact that you seem so unbothered will threaten him and even scare him.
6. The controlling boyfriend
A controlling boyfriend isn’t born that way. He’s created that way by you and the way you behave around him. Put your foot down and do what you want. Don’t stop talking to a guy who’s flirting with you, or don’t stop talking to an ex just because the guy you’re dating says so.
By doing that, you’re only letting the guy you’re dating know that he can manipulate you and control you. You’re only dating him, he doesn’t have a say in the way you lead your life, at least not yet. [Read: 15 subtle and yet shocking signs of a controlling boyfriend]
7. Don’t bend over backward
If you want to make a guy like you, don’t go all out and try to please him. Most nice girls try really hard to please a guy. Sometimes, they go all the way from calling him over and cooking him a four-course meal to spending all weekend shopping for his clothes.
Don’t bend over backward just to please him within the first few dates. When you’re so easy to get and so eager to please, the guy you like starts to take you for granted even before both of you are in a relationship.
8. Don’t be predictable
Don’t let him read you like a book. Block yourself emotionally to him so you seem harder to read. This will make you harder to impress, which then makes you a lot more desirable and attractive. This is one of the very important girl code rules for dating.
9. Don’t let him know you miss him
By letting a guy you’ve been dating for a month know that you miss him or need him in your life, you’re letting him see that his hook’s caught deep in your heart.
That’s his cue to sit back and take it easy, so he can watch you do all the hard work. He’ll assume he’s done his part in wooing you, and now it’s your turn to please him and keep him happy. [Read: How men fall in love – The stages of love for guys]
10. Don’t talk about your future together
Unless you’re in a serious relationship where there’s a lot of mutual love and trust, avoid talking about the future with the guy you’re dating. When you’re in a new relationship, always leave the man guessing about where the relationship is heading. Likewise, avoid talking about your past and your exes too.
11. Don’t change your status
Don’t give your relationship a name just yet. There are a few girls who want the guy to name the relationship within a few weeks of dating. They can’t wait to change their Facebook relationship status to share the news with the world. Don’t be that girl.
12. Don’t share your life all at once
Communication and understanding each other completely are very important for a successful relationship. But it’s irrelevant when you’re still dating and evaluating each other as dating potentials. If you reveal everything about yourself at once, you’ll start to get boring and predictable within the next few dates.
13. Don’t have sex
This may sound traditional, but you don’t really need to follow the three-date rule before having sex with the guy you’re dating. The longer you wait, the more you’ll build the sexual tension and the attraction. Don’t give in easily, and make the guy work harder. It’ll make him realize you’re not an easy catch, and that will make him take you more seriously.
14. Self-respect
In your pursuit to impress the guy you’re dating, don’t shove your self-respect under the mat. Respect yourself and don’t let him take you for granted, either by making you wait for an hour during a date or by canceling a date to be with his friends at the last minute.
Ignore his calls for a day or two if you must. When he does come by your place with a bunch of flowers to apologize to you, pretend like his behavior didn’t bother you at all, and you’ve been so busy you haven’t had time to think about him.
Even if he knows you’re lying, your behavior will make him feel insecure and work harder to make it up to you. [Read: How your self respect affects the kind of relationship you have with a guy]
15. Keep yourself busy
Keep him guessing. Don’t be the girl who says “I’m so bored at home and am doing absolutely nothing at all.” Be the girl who’s always doing something. Don’t be easily available to him even if you’re idle.
Have a life and keep yourself occupied all the time. The more you have fun in your own life, the more desirable you’ll be and the easier it’ll be for you to treat this guy as a part of your life and not your whole life. [Read: Why flirting isn’t really cheating when you’re in a relationship]
16. Be a challenge
Men love challenges. Don’t be easy to please and don’t be easy to win over. It’s alright to behave like a high-maintenance woman or a brat who throws a hissy fit now and then. By doing that, you’re shaking his confidence up. If he truly likes you and is interested in dating you, he’ll try harder to please you.
And when you do get into a relationship with him after a few months, he’ll love you more and respect you more because he had to work so hard to win you over in the first place.
17. Don’t ask to define the relationship
Sadly, a lot of guys these days don’t like to commit to a serious relationship. Instead, they are much more comfortable with a friends-with-benefits situation, or just hanging out and “seeing where it goes.” [Read: Define the relationship – when to do it, and 20 signs it’s time to DTR already]
So, while you might be desperate to define what you are – exclusive, dating, or relationship – let him do that. If you try to do it yourself, you will just come across as needy. And being needy is a big turn-off for most guys.
18. Don’t act like a girlfriend until you really are
If he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend, then are you not.
You might be frustrated by this, but try to avoid the urge to act like his girlfriend if you are not. That means you have to be “easy breezy” and not have any expectations for his behavior. That’s not to say that you should not have standards and boundaries. You should. Just don’t act like a girlfriend if you’re not one.
19. Look for red flags
Sometimes girls are so blinded by infatuation that they ignore all the red flags that a guy is giving off. So, be on the lookout for anything that he says or does that could be a problem in the future. Remember, this isn’t about you catching him. [Read: 31 red flags in a guy who is fake-nice and will only break your heart]
He also needs to earn the right and privilege to be with you. You need to have high standards, and when you see red flags that are not going to meet them, take notice and don’t compromise.
20. Don’t drop your friends
A lot of girls have the tendency to stop spending time with their friends when they start dating a guy they really like. But don’t do that. Not only will it make your friends angry, but it will also send a bad message to the guy. Don’t give him the power to change the dynamic of your life. He won’t respect you very much if you make him the center of your entire world.
21. Make sure he’s a good match for you
As you are looking for red flags, you should constantly be assessing whether or not he is a good match for you.
Too many girls get into the mindset of “I hope he likes me” when in reality, you should be thinking “I hope I like him and that he meets my standards and expectations.” Think of yourself as interviewing him to hire as your boyfriend someday. He has to make the cut to get the prize – you.
[Read: 30 subtle, obvious, and sexual flirting tips to tease a guy and make him desire you]
These girl code rules for dating may seem harsh, but you need to remember this – guys value something only when they have to work hard to achieve it. Be nice to him, but don’t bend over backward to please him, at least not for the first few months.
