It is a popular stereotype that women play hard to get when it comes to dating. But do guys play hard to get too or do they only want to chase?
If you’ve ever played hard to get, the idea is to make him work for you. And if you really like the guy, it is a lot of effort to hold back your feelings, not texting first, and showing indifference rather than excitement. Women are known to do this all the time. It is a common thought that men love the chase. It makes them feel more manly. But on the other hand, do guys play hard to get too?
Do guys play hard to get? Probably not
It is totally possible that a guy could play hard to get. I mean anyone is capable of anything, right? But in my experience that’s a no. Not only do most guys prefer to do the chasing themselves, but many men don’t have the willpower to hold back like that.
If a guy really likes you, he most likely makes it known. And if he doesn’t, he either doesn’t want to freak you out by being too eager or he’s just nervous. If it seems like he plays hard to get, there is a good chance he isn’t doing it intentionally. [Read: Why men like a chase and how to use this in your favor]
#1 What to do when you think a guy is playing hard to get. If you think a guy you’re interested in is playing hard to get, he unfortunately may just not be interested. I can’t say that guys don’t play games, but many of them don’t plan to do so exactly. They think of it as avoiding confrontation.
But if you still aren’t sure, as it is a possibility, just ask him. Not if he is playing hard to get, but if he’s interested. Like I said, he could just be nervous or afraid of rejection. So make a move yourself. If he is interested he’ll make it clear. [Read: Flirty questions to ask a a guy and see if he is interested]
#2 Why do guys play hard to get?Think about why women play hard to get. We want to make sure this guy is willing to put in effort. It shows he is able to take control. Women who play hard to get want a man willing to work for them and take the initiative.
If a man plays hard to get, he would be saying that he wants you to put more effort in for him. But as many of us know, men need us more than we need them, so this wouldn’t really make much sense, would it?
But one thing men do that is similar to playing hard to get is leading you on. They aren’t showing interest, but also aren’t making it clear that they aren’t interested. This usually means he is waiting for something better to come along *UGH*, but wants to keep you in the mix. This is the type of guy you should drop immediately. [Read: 17 signs you’re being benched and strung along by the guy you like]
#3 Guys love when women play hard to get. Have you noticed this? Because I sure have. Whenever you make it too easy for a guy by agreeing to a date right away or something like that, his interest seems to drop. Men love the chase. They find a woman who holds her feelings back to be mysterious and complicated.
And although it is also common to hear men say they hate women who play games, that is not always true. It is sort of like saying you hate drama then binge watching Real Housewives. Men may say they hate the games, but continue to go after women who are “hard to get.”
#4 How do you know if he is playing hard to get? If you can’t figure out if he is disinterested or actually playing hard to get, the best way to find out without asking him straight up, is to not play into it. Don’t ghost him necessarily, but don’t reach out, initiate dates, etc.
If he is truly interested and thinks playing hard to get will work on you, don’t fall into his trap. Eventually he should realize you’re above that and make an actual move.
#5 What if he still hasn’t made a move? My first guess would be, he isn’t actually interested. Sorry, but at least now you can move on.
But if you’re not letting his game get to you, you could start a never ending cycle of miscommunication. If he is playing hard to get and then you play hard to get back and neither one of you budges, this could go on for a while.
#6 How to prevent someone from playing hard to get with you? Pretty much the only way to ensure that something like this doesn’t happen again is to be bold. If you’re interested in a guy, tell him flat out. It can seem scary and intense, but at least you won’t waste your time in dating limbo, not knowing what’s going on.
The sooner you face the truth, whether good or bad, the sooner you can move on and potentially find a mature adult relationship. You deserve better than the games anyway.
#7 Is this behavior becoming a pattern? If you experience guys playing hard to get for a while, not only are you in a dating rut, but they probably aren’t doing that. Sorry for being so harsh, but if you get that feeling from a guy, let alone multiple guys you may just be picking the wrong ones.
It can be stressful to deal with rejection, and because many guys don’t flat out admit they don’t like you, it feels like they string you along. You deserve a guy who makes it clear that he likes you. So maybe branch out from the type of guys you normally go for and see what happens. [Read: 12 signs the guy you like doesn’t like you back]
#8 Come to terms. As women we sometimes have a hard time coming to terms with the facts. When a guy doesn’t like us after maybe someone told us he does, we want to be right.
But if a guy isn’t making it clear that he is interested he probably just isn’t. Putting a ton of energy into a guy just so that you can prove something to yourself, or worse someone else, really isn’t worth it.
You’re so much better off going for someone who has no problem voicing their feelings and interest. If you have to work to get a guy to show interest or admit he likes you, what would that relationship look like down the line?
Do guys play hard to get? Anything is possible, but in most cases if he comes across like he is, he just isn’t interested. And it is time for you to move onto to greener pastures, or you know, a guy who is interested.
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My name is Samantha and I am 25 year old. I’m also a blogger and vlogger on YouTube. I am constantly sharing my thoughts on everything from beauty to relation...