People break up all the time. It’s the part of life that you wish you didn’t have to go through. As a woman, I’m usually angry that I didn’t break up with them first. This is what usually goes through my head when my boyfriend broke up with me: “You broke up with me? You don’t even know what you’re missing, I’m a god damn star! I’m a diamond! You’ll never find anyone better!”
But let’s be honest with ourselves, as much as you want it, he’s not coming back. And now, all you have is a bucket of ice cream, your deluxe DVD collection of Sex in the City, and his dirty underwear that you found under your bed while searching for your dildo. It’s gonna be a fun weekend, am I right?
15 things that happen after your boyfriend breaks up with you
Even if you got blindsided, you can recover. It’s gonna be a rough ride in the beginning, but there are some lessons you definitely learn. So here are 15 things that will happen after your boyfriend breaks up with you.
#1 You’re going to try to get him back. Oh God, do I know this far too well. You’re going to do everything to get him back, and in the meantime, you’re going to look like an idiot. Now, it depends on why you two broke up.
But regardless, you’re going to start making stupid plans and showing up at the clubs he’s going to. Give him space. He needs to see if the time apart is something he wants or not. [Read: How to get over a guy you still love]
#2 You’re going to pretend you’re fine with it. Oh yeah, you’re totally fine. Sure, you’ve been crying yourself to sleep every night, but you’re completely fine. You’re not fine… you’re a mess. The guy you liked just dumped you. Accept that and acknowledge it. Cry when you need to. Listen to music, watch movies, cuddle your dog, do whatever you need to do.
#3 Let’s “be friends.” If you’ve been with your boyfriend for a while, you’re obviously great friends. That being said, you’re going to try to just be friends. It’s not going to work. You’ll be jealous, trying to get him back into your arms, and it’ll turn out to be a mess.
You CANNOT be friends with your ex. At least for the first year. You need to cleanse him out of your system before you can bring him back in as a friend. [Read: How to be friends with an ex without any complications]
#4 Stalker alert. When your boyfriend breaks up with you, you’re going to turn into a huge stalker. HUGE. Trust me. Every girl does it. Don’t think you’re not one of them. You’ll see him going out and meeting girls and you know what, you’re going to be jealous and pissed off.
Those feelings are not what you need right now. So, I know it’s hard, but you’ll have to delete him from everything, and if necessary, block him. At least for a couple months until you start to forget about him.
#5 Use all forms of communication. If communication was an issue in your relationship, well, now that he’s gone, you’ve become an expert at it. You’re going to try to talk to him on whatever social media platform you can.
You’ll even knock on his door the old-fashioned way, just to get his attention. I’m going to tell you now, it probably doesn’t look bad in the moment, however, you will deeply regret it and be known as the crazy chick. [Read: 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through them]
#6 You’ll beg. It’s not pretty to beg when your boyfriend breaks up with you. You want him back, I get it. That being said, you’ll reduce yourself to a dog and get on your knees, begging him to take you back.
You’ll be sobbing, snot will be running down your face, and maybe you’ll get him back, but it won’t last. Plus, you just showed yourself how dependent you are on him, which is a sign that you need to take a break and love yourself.
#7 You guys are going to have sex. Make-up sex is great, but not when your boyfriend breaks up with you. If it was good sex and you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking, “yes!”
But listen, that sex is not going to bring you back together. You need to have a clean break. He’s only sleeping with you because he needs to fill in the sexless gap he all of a sudden experienced after breaking up. [Read: Breakup sex and just 10 circumstances where it works]
#8 You’re going to change your appearance. This is a great idea. You’re going to get your haircut, go to the gym, or get a tattoo. Whatever it is, it’s great. You need to refresh yourself and basically, come out of the situation looking a million times better than when you were with him. It’s great for the self-esteem and for starting a new chapter.
#9 You’re going to give up. This is an absolute must when your boyfriend breaks up with you. You’re probably thinking that you two will get back together. Now, I’m not saying you won’t, but to get you moving on, let’s just assume you’re not.
That way, if you do get back together, it’ll be a great surprise. And if you don’t, you weren’t expecting anything. When anything involves another person, keep the expectations low. [Read: How to get your self-esteem back after a breakup]
#10 You’re going to feel guilty. Well, if you cheated on him, I understand the guilt. However, you cannot harbor those feelings inside of you. People make mistakes and if you did something, for example, cheating, then maybe he wasn’t the one for you to begin with. Feeling guilty will only make the break up feeling longer.
#11 You’ll also blame him. It was his fault because he never wanted to talk about his feelings. You know what, sure, there were things he did. But you’re also involved in the relationship too – you’re no angel. Blaming doesn’t solve any problem, nor does it help you move on. Plus, if you want him back, blaming will work the opposite way. [Read: 15 lessons you can learn from your own breakups]
#12 You’ll only think about the good times. Oh, the good times. Remember the picnic we had in the rain or that holiday in the Caribbean? Great ideas. Remember when he would never help around the house and called you fat? Yeah, how about those times? Weren’t so chipper, eh?
You’re going to magically forget about every fight you had and focus on the positive, which isn’t a bad thing. However, you’ll need to step out of that box and look at the relationship as a whole. Was it really that good?
#13 Analyze time! You’re going to rip the relationship into tiny pieces and dissect every single moment that ever happened. What does it mean when he says he needs some time on his own? Do not do this. I know, it’s so hard not to, but save yourself the energy. He doesn’t want to be with you. It’s as simple as that. [Read: What should you do after a breakup to feel awesome?]
#14 You’re going to acknowledge your actions… later. Not right away. In fact, it’s not going to be your fault for like a year. But then, when you’re slowly getting over it, you’re going to realize your role in the relationships and things you did that affected it. Also, you’re going to try not to repeat your mistakes with the new guy in your life. [Read: 14 things to keep in mind when you run into your ex]
#15 You’re going to be okay. I know, right now, you’re not thinking this. But really, you’re going to be okay. I had a guy tell me he didn’t love me after two years… you can imagine the mess I was in. It took me a year to stop Facebook stalking him and thinking about him every waking moment. But now, I’m good. These things just take time. So, be patient.
[Read: How to move on and deal with a breakup with a smile]
When your boyfriend breaks up with you, you’ll probably be like any other girl – a complete disaster. But, if you just follow these steps, you’ll be well on your way to feeling like yourself and getting back up on your feet.
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