When people talk about attraction, they usually only mean sexual attraction. Did you know that the psychology of attraction is much deeper, and that there are different types of attraction?
Have you ever met someone from the opposite sex that you aren’t sexually attracted? But you find them attractive in a different way? It’s a weird concept when you think about it, but finding someone attractive doesn’t mean you’re sexually attracted to them. I’ve seen some men that I find to be so hot. I just don’t want to have sex with them.
The psychology of attraction and 6 types of attraction that you should know
So, this is where I come in to tell you about the psychology of attraction and how it works. You may not think that there are different types of attraction but just think about your own relationships. Do you have a close friend of the opposite sex? You may or may not want to have sex with them which means you may be attracted to them on a different level.
I guess that’s where the whole “friend zone” idea comes into play. People simply have different levels of attraction than what we traditionally think exist. Humans are so complicated. [Read: Strictly platonic – Why you should never use the word ‘friend zone’]
#1 Aesthetic attraction. We all have celebrity crushes. Those are people we think are hot as hell. Okay, so maybe you would have sex with them if given the chance, but more likely, you’re simply attracted to their physical appearance. You appreciate their beauty. This isn’t necessarily linked to sexual or romantic attraction.
Eventually, over time it may develop into either attraction. I mean, I’ve eyed the coffee guy at this one cafe for a year. He’s literally one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. I just want to eat ice cream while staring at him. See, that’s aesthetic attraction. [Read: Law of attraction and how it can change your love life]
#2 Platonic attraction. This is usually confused with the “friend zone.” I’m putting it in quotations because I don’t actually think it exists. Usually, the person is either scared to commit or genuinely doesn’t see you in that way.
Anyways, platonic attraction is the need to have a relationship with someone that isn’t sexual. Simply based on love and friendship. This form of attraction was always a shitty experience for me because I usually liked that person; whereas they saw me only as a friend, nothing more. But, it’s possible to have platonic friendships with people that are either male or female.
#3 Romantic attraction. This is the attraction we usually talk about when we see romantic comedies. It’s the desire to have a romantic relationship, that’s based on love and romance with a specific person. Sure, it’s sexual but it’s more than that.
This is when you see someone and you want to spend your spare time with them, not necessarily having sex but watching movies, going for walks. That’s when you know it’s more than just sexual attraction. If you’re in a healthy relationship then you already experiencing romantic attraction. [Read: Just hanging out? 10 romantic sparks you just can’t ignore]
#4 Sensual attraction. Now this is slightly different than sexual attraction. It’s the desire for physical contact but not necessarily sexual. It’s based on sensual touching such as hugs, cuddling, massaging. Have you ever been next to someone and their touch soothes you? It makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud.
Do you have a mental connection with them? Maybe not, but they physically understand you. You share that chemistry compatible for sensual attraction.
#5 Sexual attraction. This is another type of attraction that we all desire—sexual attraction. It’s what you see when people make out intensely at the clubs or when two people look at each other like they’re both apple pies.
Sexual attraction is the desire to engage in sexual activity with that specific person. You see them and all you think about is having them on top of you in your bed. If that’s the only thing coming into your head when your eyes meet theirs, that’s sexual attraction. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]
#6 Accept attraction. You may be friends with someone with whom you feel sexually attracted to while they feel platonically attracted to you. Does that mean you’re less of a person or stupid for having these feelings? Not at all.
Understand you are entitled to feel how you want to feel, so if you like someone, it’s okay. If they don’t like you in the same way, it’s not your fault, it’s simply how they feel. There’s no right or wrong way to be attracted to someone, this is something out of your control.
[Read: Different types of attraction: Which is most vital for true love?]
Now that you know the psychology of attraction and the different kinds of attraction, think about your own relationships and see what they’re based on. We all have different emotions that make us feel different types of attraction.
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