Only 4 in 500 women are INTJs. And in the Myers-Briggs world, INTJ women are the rarest breed—the rational, strategic, cerebral goddesses.
And if you’re dating one of the few INTJ women, you better fold up those sleeves because you’re in for some real relationship work—or just read up these tips.
If Painite is the world’s rarest mineral, then INTJ women are painites of the Myers-Briggs personalities. They can be a painite-the-ass too *excuse the bad pun*.
Yes, being rare has its pitfalls. For one, few people know how to interact with such a person, making them quite a difficult person to decode and relate to. So read up on these behaviors and tips to see if you really have a rare INTJ gem in your hands—and what you can expect from such women if you intend to have one for keeps.
Characteristics of INTJ Women
All people are unique, but understanding the characteristics of any personality can help you achieve better relationships. So here are some qualities of INTJ women.
#1 Highly intellectual. As an INTJ, they pride themselves on their mind and their intelligence. They take every opportunity to learn, broaden their knowledge, and therefore, they are insatiably curious. You would see them debating, not for the sake of argument, but for learning more. [Read: 15 highs and lows of dating someone way smarter than you]
#2 Strategic. INTJ women see things from many different perspectives. They also like to cover all angles. This is why when it comes to strategy, they are exceptional. They use their cerebral minds and creative imagination to foresee potentials in the future, and therefore, plan contingencies and predict possible scenarios.
#3 Overly analytical. Because of the way their mind works, they are be critical and analytical, to the point of perfectionism. They look at a situation in so many ways, and often, they could just forget that the answers are right before their eyes.
#4 High self-confidence. While they are confident, this can carry on too far to the point of complete arrogance. Therefore, INTJ women can appear to be pretty haughty to other people, which make it hard for new acquaintances to warm up to them. [Read: 9 major tips for dating a girl who’s way out of your league]
#5 Independent. This confidence, and the fact that they are highly capable, makes them impressively independent. If they have a better idea, they’ll stand up for it, despite conventions, traditions, or what other people may think.
#6 Blunt. They can be so honest that they can rub people the wrong way. Between being observant and borderline critical, they can really say things that not everyone wants to hear. But you know what—they expect the same from others too. Don’t worry… you won’t hurt their feelings. Just be brave and speak your truth too. They can take it.
#8 Decisive. They make up their own mind, and therefore, they will do what they set their mind to. More often than not, it’s difficult for them to be swayed into another direction – other than their rigid decision. It only happens if they value another person’s thought process, and then they might be convinced.
#9 Determined. If something piques their curiosity, they go for it. They can be hugely dedicated, and they put lots of work into getting their goal. If problems arise, they are rather undaunted, as they are confident in their skills and intelligence to handle these bumps in the road.
#10 Open-minded. They have an aversion to customs, traditions, and so they tend to be liberal. Still, there’s nothing so absurd or impossible to INTJ women—as long as your ideas and suggestions are sensible and backed by logic. [Read: How to charm a girl and flatter her into liking you]
What you need to know about dating INTJ women
Now that you’ve figured that your girl really does have all the fittings of the real deal—one of the true and rare INTJ women—you now have to figure out how to deal with this complex creature. You especially need to know this if you really want to be with her for the long haul, despite all that frigid demeanor and blunt mouth.
#1 Thinking things through—a lot. Since INTJ women are highly cerebral, expect that they will thoroughly think things through before making a move. They are not known to be impulsive, so be prepared to wait for an answer from them.
#2 Studying people. More than just gossiping, INTJ women love to study people, find out what makes them tick. Being in a relationship with one will feel like they’re constantly analyzing you, figuring you out. This brings us to…
#3 Knowing you better than you do. After being in a relationship for a while with INTJ women, you notice that they have studied all there is to discover about you. They know your drives, emotions, responses, and dispositions. In short, they have figured you out and know you like the back of their hands.
#4 Planning everything. As strategic that they are, they may have already foreseen the best possible scenarios before agreeing to your date. Heck, they may have even memorized the menu to where you’re going. And if something goes awry to ruin your plans, you can be sure they won’t like it one bit. [Read: 15 signs you’re with a high maintenance woman]
#5 Finding mind games sexy. They get turned on by intellectual conversations. They find it sexy if you challenge their philosophies with your own. And often, they even like the mental “orgasms” of talking for hours compared to the downright sensations of being physical.
#6 It’s hard to buy them gifts. INTJ women are picky, and so it’s hard to buy them gifts. They don’t like the usual chocolates and flowers, and things that they don’t really have any use for.
Your best bet? Either you find them something functional, something they can eat or drink *wine or a fancy dinner are safe choices* or just go ahead and ask them for a wish list.
#8 Preferring it point-blank. And by this, we mean your opinions. Say it straight, and they will respect and appreciate you more for it, even if they don’t really agree with you. Therefore, throw aside your passive-aggressive tendencies if you really want to win them over.
#9 Definitely unemotional. While INTJ women have deep and powerful emotions just like any person, they don’t let it bubble over as often as most people do. They know full well that emotions can’t be trusted, and therefore, they don’t let these dictate their actions.
#10 Utterly frigid and cold. Since they are not driven by their emotions and whims, they may come off as cold, and even cold-hearted. Give them flowers? They’ll accept it, sure, but don’t expect them to fall head over heels for you with just a few romantic gestures. [Read: Dating game – Type A vs. Type B personalities]
#11 But once they feel it… Don’t get them wrong, though. They are enormously passionate about things that matter to them most. Whether it is literature, politics, philosophy, or just their favorite television series they have passion. You’ll be lucky to find them with those rare bursts of emotions, and once you see these, it’s like watching fireworks—if not a supernova.
#12 They’re hella loyal. Because of these strong emotions, INTJ women are highly invested in a relationship once they find the right person for them. Even if they’re not masters at displaying love and affection, they display strong devotion and loyalty to their partners who are lucky to have them for mates. [Read: 7 dumbest mistakes that men often make in relationships]
#13 She would need closure. INTJ women absolutely abhor it when a relationship abruptly ends. So if you leave them with little warning, they would feel so disoriented because it’s like a piece of a puzzle has been lost. They would want to understand what happened and why and how things went wrong. Otherwise, they’ll find it so hard to move on.