Ever wondered what you may be doing to bring on the demise of your relationship? Here are some common relationship mistakes men often overlook.
What I’ve written in this article may touch a nerve or two. I do tend to be quite opinionated about these things, and if indeed it does leave you agitated or annoyed, it is probably exactly what you need to hear.
Women only have a certain amount of tolerance for their partner making mistakes and doing various things that they find annoying or unattractive. Sadly, some men don’t get the hints women drop when she wants those mistakes to be remedied. Instead of relying on those hints, it may be time to step back and take a look at what you’re doing in your relationship.
In this list, I’ll veer away from the more obvious mistakes like being abusive or being an outright jerk. Instead, I’ll be discussing some seemingly normal things men do that ultimately drive a woman away.
Mistakes men often make in relationships
If your relationship isn’t going as smoothly as you had hoped, it may be because you’re committing one of these 7 common relationship mistakes.
#1 Being a man-baby. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship with an overgrown child. She wants someone who can make decisions, take the initiative, and be in control. We are seeing more and more that the modern man is becoming weak, passive, and unassertive. If you are always trying to please her, always asking what she wants to do, and generally placing her atop a pedestal to worship her, I have news for you. She resents it!
That is what nearly every guy who is trying to get into her pants does. He kisses butt, and pretends that he is just trying to be nice to her. Of course, we all know what he wants, and he will never get it by being her servant.
Women do not want an emotionally unstable weakling of a boyfriend. They want to be with someone whom they respect, are equal with *not babysitting*, and has a backbone. It’s important to have your own point of view. It’s okay to sometimes disagree on certain things, and to have your own interests and desires. You do not need your girlfriend’s permission to think.
You should be your own man first, and her boyfriend second. Not the other way around!
#2 Neglecting personal growth. Too many guys give up on themselves as soon as they get into a long-term relationship. They stop trying to be better, stop looking after themselves, and settle into a life of mediocrity and comfort because they’ve already found someone who will accept them for who they are.
You’re not looking after yourself and growing as a person to meet women. You’re doing it for yourself. You should have enough self-respect to give a crap about how you present yourself to the world. A lack of growth, drive, and focus in a man’s life will soon lead to unhappiness, and more likely, self-medicating with alcohol and crappy TV.
#3 Forgetting your friends. Of course, you will spend less time with them, and you probably won’t go crawling the bars trying to pick up women, but it shouldn’t fundamentally change who you are. Your friends are still your friends, and if you do not have a life outside of your relationship, you’re just keeping yourself caged in with your girlfriend.
Your friends were there for you at the start, and if things go belly up, they will be there for you at the end, so long as you haven’t pushed them all away! That might seem like an overly pragmatic view, but it’s the reality. The majority of relationships you get into do not see through to happily ever after. That’s why it’s important to maintain a social circle outside of your relationship.
Catching the game or having a couple of beers with friends is a good way to get out of the house and have a male friendship group. There are certain things that, as a guy, you want to be able to talk to other guys about, not to mention the general benefits of male bonding and friendship.
Let’s be honest, you don’t like it when your friends change for a new relationship and abandon their buddies, so don’t do it to them either!
#4 Giving up on your dreams. As mentioned in point 2, life doesn’t *or at least shouldn’t* end as soon as you get into a serious relationship. You should be happy inside and outside of your relationship. Both parties should have meaning to their life that extends beyond each other. This means chasing your dreams and living your life.
No matter how dedicated you are to your partner, you should still have a goal that extends beyond the confines of your relationship. Enriching your own life also helps to enrich the relationship you have with your girlfriend, as it’s a way to share new knowledge and experiences with each other.
Just think about it: Wouldn’t your girlfriend be so much happier to be with a man who works towards reaching his dream, as opposed to a man who seems to only be living his life for her?
#5 Obsessing over her. There was life before your girlfriend, and there is life beyond your girlfriend. I’m sure she is great and lovely and sweet and all that good stuff. That’s why you’re with her, right? But no matter how tempting it is to spend all your time with her, you should take a step back and see if you’re starting to smother her with too much attention.
Derailing your entire life to cater to her may seem sweet, but that’s only if you’re characters in a rom-com. Real women will start to resent it if you’re no longer giving her space. And she’ll think you’re downright crazy if you drop everything you have going in your life just for her sake! [Read: 23 foolproof relationship tips for men]
#6 Being overly jealous. A little jealousy from time to time is actually healthy, but being untrusting and controlling is neither romantic nor desirable. If you always want to read her phone or follow her around for fear that she’s paying attention to some other guy, this is indicative of a deep trust issue. Your girlfriend may then start to wonder what she could have done to merit your obsessive jealousy.
Insecurity is a common culprit in men who are very jealous. When you’re insecure, you feel like this wonderful woman, whom you love and desire, might just find someone who’s better than you. You need to realize that she chose you, and unless she’s giving you a reason to doubt her fidelity, you must not let your insecurity and jealousy get the better of you. [Read: 25 biggest dating deal breakers for women]
#7 Getting stuck in a romantic rut. While you can’t always maintain the same level of excitement that you had at the start of your relationship, it’s still important to try to mix things up and do new things together. If you don’t at least try, you’ll only end up focusing on the mundane, everyday routines that pass for a “good time” together. Sex can become monotonous, date nights can feel like a chore, and even your favorite activity together can lose its edge. In the end, this can make your girlfriend feel like she’s stuck in a relationship that has lost its spark. [Read: 9 most effective ways to be a more romantic guy]
Even though, as a man, you’re not solely responsible for keeping the excitement alive in your relationship, your girlfriend may secretly be hoping that you’d suddenly whisk her away on a surprise road trip or carry her off to a romantic home cooked dinner, complete with candles and jazz tunes. A little bit of spontaneity will do wonders for your relationship, so never skip the chance to insert it into your lives!
These 7 mistakes are far from the only ones that men make in relationships, but they are some of the biggest and most important. If you don’t start working on remedying these mistakes, you may soon find yourself alone and single!
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