Did your girlfriend just tell you that she needs some space? Are you confused about why? Here are some possible reasons your girlfriend wants a break.
So, you meet a girl, fall in love, and you think everything is great! That’s how it usually happens for most couples. The infatuation stage is powerful – in fact, researchers have found that being in love affects our brain in almost the exact same way as if we were on cocaine. Crazy, huh?
But, as we all know, the newness wears off eventually. And then real life sets in. All the things that used to be cute about your partner become annoying. Then conflicts start happening. The fighting ensues. And then you stop to wonder, “Hey, what happened to my perfect relationship?”
But maybe that wasn’t your experience at all. Maybe you thought everything was good between you and your girlfriend. You were satisfied and thought things are great. But then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, she drops a bomb on you – she wants a break.
And you’re thinking, “What? Where did that come from? I thought everything was fine!”
I’m here to tell you that girls are very complex beings. They see a lot more nuances and intricacies in relationships than guys do. That’s why a lot of guys are blindsided when their girlfriend wants to break up, or at very least, when they bring up some problems that need to be fixed. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship works]
So, that leaves you thinking, “My girlfriend wants a break… but why?”
Possible reasons your girlfriend wants a break
Before you read these possible reasons your girlfriend wants a break, keep in mind that not all relationships are the same. Some might apply to you, but others may not. But even if you think it doesn’t apply to you, think about it a little more. It might.
Sometimes we are in denial of our own actions, so you need to take good, long, hard look at yourself and see how your actions contributed to why your girlfriend wants a break.
#1 She’s not sure about the relationship. I know you think she is. She might still seem like she’s really into you. But sometimes people have doubts about the relationship and are reluctant to tell the other person. Maybe she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, so she thinks taking a break will help her figure things out. [Read: How to fall in love again after a breakup]
#2 She is interested in someone else. Yeah, I know you don’t want to hear this one. No one does. But guess what? It’s life. It happens. Maybe your girlfriend wants a break so she can sort out her feelings for you… or for someone else.
#3 She wants to break up but doesn’t have the guts to do it. This is horrible, but there are lot of people out there who don’t have the courage to actually face the person they’re dating and break up with them.
Instead, they think it’s easier to slowly distance themselves until either the relationship fades away, or you give up. Or they completely ghost on you. That’s the worst. But it happens all the time, unfortunately. [Read: Got ghosted? 10 clear signs and ways to deal with it]
#4 You’re selfish. No one wants to admit that they are selfish, but let’s face it, many people are. And there are a lot of girls out there who think their boyfriend is selfish. They think they are giving everything to you and getting nothing in return. So, look at your behavior and see how maybe you’ve been selfish with her. [Read: 12 clear signs you’ve been really selfish in the relationship]
#5 You don’t give her enough attention. A lot of guys like their space. They might not like texting all the time and keeping up the connection that needs to happen for a healthy relationship. As a result, she feels neglected and distant from you. You might not even know you’re doing this if she doesn’t tell you.
#6 You don’t give her enough affection. Most girls like affection. They want you to hold their hand, cuddle with them, hug them, and sit close. And this goes beyond the bedroom. They want daily physical affection. And if they don’t get it, then they feel distant and neglected. Are you affectionate with her? Or not? [Read: How to keep a girl interested – 13 exciting ways to keep her happy]
#7 You don’t talk to her. A lot of guys don’t like talking as much as girls do. Some guys think that what girls say is boring or repetitive. Or they only want to listen if she has a problem that needs solving. But she wants you to have an actual conversation with her. So, put down the TV remote, turn off the game, and talk to her!
#8 You don’t care about her feelings. This one belongs to the “selfish” category. If every time she shares how she feels about you or something else you brush it off or say she shouldn’t feel that way, well, she’s not going to like it. [Read: 25 biggest dating deal breakers for women]
#9 You hang out with your friends too much. We all like to hang out with our friends. But if your socializing with the boys has gotten out of control and to the point where you are seeing them more than you see her, then that’s a problem.
#10 Or you don’t have anyone else to hang out with. On the flip side, if you have no friends, she might feel smothered. If you feel neglected every time she hangs out with her friends and you complain about it, she’s going to get annoyed after a while. [Read: Bros before hoes – Why this brospeak needs to be put to rest]
#11 Your relationship has gotten boring. Maybe you’ve gotten lazy and lay around on the couch all the time. Or you’re not romantic anymore. Let’s face it – relationships do get boring, but they don’t have to. You need to put in some effort! If you don’t, she’ll leave you and/or find someone else to make her life more exciting.
I know you’re bummed that your girlfriend wants a break. But it’s really important to take a look at yourself and see what you might have done wrong. That way, you might be able to get her back and keep her happy.
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Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...