Relationships work because two people work hard to be best person for each other. They strive to maintain their attraction. And do their best to prevent fights or fix them. Everything you do to keep your relationship afloat requires effort. Whether it’s showing affection, doing small favors, or simply being present, your actions speak louder than your words. And this is especially true if you’re in love with an introvert.
As a partner, are you willing to go above and beyond? We’re not asking you to sacrifice life and limb, but we urge you to consider thinking about what your partner needs. They might just be thinking the same about what you need.
Why introverts need consideration?
Unlike their outgoing counterpart, the extrovert, introverts are subjected to more social stresses. They are not built to concede to the norms society presents.
Rather than go out into the world and find a suitable activity to place a “wanderlust” hashtag, they prefer to stay within the boundaries that they’ve put up all their lives.
The truth is no one is a pure introvert. They are simply more or less introverted. This means they are energized by peace and solitude and easily worn out by excessive socializing or crowded situations.
It’s not that they don’t want to be with people. It’s just that they don’t enjoy having to spend so much time with more than a few people at once.
As a partner, remember these things because they need your support. If you can’t understand their need to revert to their comfortable habits, you’ll only be disappointed in the end.
The purpose of doing so is not to keep them happy. It’s so you and your partner grow to be better individuals together.
In love with an introvert? All the ways you can help them as a partner
The next step is to actually do something for your partner. You work from your side of the relationship. Your partner probably is learning how to be a better partner for you. The least you can do is listen to our advice on how you do your part in the relationship.
#1 Do your homework. Most people are only aware of the basics about being an introvert. They don’t realize introverts aren’t just people who don’t like being around other people. There’s more to it than that. You do well to learn more about them for the sake of your relationship. [Read: Dating an introvert: 15 adorable quirks that set them apart]
#2 Forget what you know. Throw away all your assumptions about introverts. Not all of them like staying at home. Not all of them can’t function in a crowded setting. There’s so much more you don’t realize about introverts. It’s high time you learn about it directly from the source—your partner.
#3 Connect with your inner Zen master. Being with an introvert seems like a good deal, considering they usually keep to themselves, but that’s only a small concession. Introverts are highly unpredictable; more so than they’re extroverted counterparts. Things may get a little tough and the fact that they’re introverts means you won’t reach them as easily.
#4 Find your yin and yang. For your relationship to work, consider what your partner needs and urge them to consider yours as well. Look for a sense of balance between how you treat each other and how you spend time together.
Put yourself in each other’s shoes and experience what the other offers. Share your interests, try things the other person likes, and always consider their views and opinions. [Read: Compromise in relationship: 12 tips to give in without losing]
#5 Work with what you got. You can’t change a person. Even they can’t force themselves to change, so it’s a moot point. Let things run their course. Your partner may never adapt to being an extrovert, but it’s hardly the end of the world if that’s the case. Acceptance is key to maintaining a relationship with an introvert.
Forcing them out of their comfort zone only ends badly. The most you can do is suggest they try to step out of it from time to time.
#6 Mellow out. If you’re highly extroverted, your partner might see this as a threat to the relationship. You do not need to change, but you do have to adjust yourself accordingly. Extroverts are highly energetic. It’s likely introverts feel overwhelmed by their intensity.
If you’ve been dating for a while, it’s not too late to work on this. Just try to spend some down time with your partner. A little peace and quiet might help. Try reading together or listening to music without singing along.
#7 Ask nicely. Introverts can sometimes be reluctant to do the things their extroverted partners want, like go somewhere fun and exciting. When you’re faced with decisions like this, it’s better to ask your partner nicely. Don’t force or manipulate *i.e. guilt-tripping, passive-aggressive statements, etc.* them into doing what you want.
Tell them why it’s a good idea and be honest about how you feel about it. They are more likely to consider things when they know it makes you happy and not because rejecting the idea might make you feel bad. [Read: Dating questions: 80 questions to ask before getting serious]
#8 Let them lead. To become a better partner to your introverted love, help them grow out of their shell. There is nothing bad about being an introvert. However, having a partner means striving to be better and to create a more meaningful connection with them. That can’t happen when you close yourself off to new things.
Let your partner make decisions or plan what you’re both going to do. Show them that being an introvert does not mean you’ll end up being the more outgoing and proactive member of this relationship.
[Read: Introverts vs. extroverts: Which side are you on?]
If you are in love with an introvert, you would do well to know what to do and what not to do in the relationship. Introverts are average human beings who lean towards a certain type of mindset and not just a specific lifestyle.
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